Aaarrgh! Damn 'Puter Won't Listen To Me Anymore!

[Dino Velvet]

I know. Poetic justice, right? I was downloading some music yesterday and all the sudden I get a warning about a program trying to install itself. I thought I stopped it halfway through but I was wrong. This Vista Total Security 2011 starts popping up windows reporting that I have 30 infections. I know I have 1 and it's the Vista Total Security 2011. Try as I may to get rid of this program but it blocks installation of programs that can remove it. It also blocks IE and Firefox. I'm using stupid AOL Browser now. At least it works.

Went to Best Buy yesterday and they want 200 bucks to clear off the crap off my computer. They also tried to sell me a one year warranty for another 200 bucks. Seems like a lot of money.

http://search.aol.com/aol/search?s_it=relsearch&q=vista+total+security+2011+scam&v_t=wscreen-aolexperience-w

[iamdrgonzo]

Went to Best Buy yesterday and they want 200 bucks to clear off the crap off my computer. They also tried to sell me a one year warranty for another 200 bucks. Seems like a lot of money.


Fuck Best Buy, you could buy a decent new laptop or new desk top for 400 bucks.

Warranty's are for losers. :loser:

As for removing the crap you have on your machine try these free mal/spy/virus removal/detection programs:

Malwarebytes: http://shop.malwarebytes.org/lpa/342/3/7268/index_b.html?_kk=malwarebyte&_kt=5649af65-023f-45b8-acb9-a5990bcaa0a7&gclid=CLWumI_T-acCFQPf4AodMlOaHw

Superantispyware: http://www.superantispyware.com/

MSSecurityEssentials: http://www.microsoft.com/security/pc-security/mse.aspx

Down load and install as per user instructions, update the virus definitions and run full scans on all drives.

Let me know how you make out.

[Dino Velvet]

Fuck Best Buy, you could buy a decent new laptop or new desk top for 400 bucks.

Warranty's are for losers. :loser:

As for removing the crap you have on your machine try these free mal/spy/virus removal/detection programs:

Malwarebytes: http://shop.malwarebytes.org/lpa/342/3/7268/index_b.html?_kk=malwarebyte&_kt=5649af65-023f-45b8-acb9-a5990bcaa0a7&gclid=CLWumI_T-acCFQPf4AodMlOaHw

Superantispyware: http://www.superantispyware.com/

MSSecurityEssentials: http://www.microsoft.com/security/pc-security/mse.aspx

Down load and install as per user instructions, update the virus definitions and run full scans on all drives.

Let me know how you make out.

Thanks. Funny thing. I've had computer problems before and fixed them. Who helped me? Geek Squad? Nope. It's always been the good people on pornography message boards. Thank you, iamdrgonzo, and thank you pornography message boards.:cheers:

[iamdrgonzo]

Don't thank me just yet.

Some of these newer viruses/malware/spyware embed themselves so deeply in your OS/memory that you still may have to get medieval with your machine.

[Silcc69]

Or just reformat it.

[Dino Velvet]

Running something called Emsisoft Anti-Malware (http://www.emsisoft.com/en/software/antimalware/). Dowloaded this as Freeware so we'll see what happens. If it doesn't knock it out, I'll try the other links provided. Thanks again.

[iamdrgonzo]

When you get your machine clean make sure you keep an anti-virus/maleware/spyware program updated and running whenever you go surfing on-line.

Also you should run a full scan daily.

Surfing on-line without an anti ware program running is like sticking your tally-whacker into foreign funholes uncovered.

[timxxx]

Use Malwarebytes & Superantispyware as suggested.And Spybot Search and Destroy.

[Dino Velvet]

Or just reformat it.

That sounds a little scary. Won't it delete my files?


When you get your machine clean make sure you keep an anti-virus/maleware/spyware program updated and running whenever you go surfing on-line.

Also you should run a full scan daily.

Surfing on-line without an anti ware program running is like sticking your tally-whacker into foreign funholes uncovered.

I have Webroot Anti-Virus and Firewall. I update it daily. I was dumb and chose to download a bad file.

[iamdrgonzo]

Thats right you said that my reading comprehension sucks.

[Dino Velvet]

There are always commercials running for this PCMatic.com (http://pcmatic.com/). Looks good on TV.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMP4PF3DNg8&feature=player_embedded#at=17

[joeym75ld]

Dino - stop and do as people suggested - get malwarebytes and superantispyware - both free. If you can't get them onto your infected machine (some of these things are so smart, they won't let you download or run these programs) you may need to download them on a clean machine, slightly change the name, then put them on the infected machine and run.

This may not do it, because some of these infections are so insidious, they change your registry, and every time you restart, they re-install themselves. You may need to go into the registry and manually change/remove some things or download and run some specialty scripts. There are a couple forums where computer geeks will help you out with this - you run a free program (forget the name of it right now) and post the log, and someone will help you out - if running malwarebytes and superantispyware doesn't work, let me know and I will find you some links.

Once you get the machine running, buy and install Norton 360 - the only thing that really, really works.

Then again, with the kind of porn sites you're surfing, there may be no chance for your poor computer!

[Faldur]

http://www.themaclawyer.com/uploads/image/Mac%20vs%20PC%203.png

[joeym75ld]

Or you could get a Mac.

[Dino Velvet]

I think it's gone. I ran a deep scan with the Emsisoft Anti-Malware, quarantined the bad stuff, shut the computer down, and turned it on a little while ago. Things seem OK and I'm able to use IE and Firefox again. Thanks for everyone's help. I greatly appreciate it.

[Willie Escalade]

Get Vista Total Security. Actually, don't; it's a virus!

[bubbski]

Two things that have allowed me to save friends computers, sometimes after the fact:

1) Create a spare account with administrator rights. You can usually get in there and clean out crap from that account. In an absolute worst case, you can save important documents to this administrator account and delete an infected one. Then create another spare account!

2) If you're gonna go surfin' into enemy or unknown territory, create a limited account and surf from there. It's no guarantee of complete safety, but makes it more difficult for shit to self-install.

I'm no computer genuis, but sometimes I daydream that I'm Leo LaPorte.

[jrob1812]

http://www.apple.com/why-mac/

[south ov da border]

ok here's what you do next time you get something like that.

Get a usb jump and save these programs on there.

1. run this http://download.bleepingcomputer.com/grinler/rkill.exe It kills all rougue software running at the time

2. Get Malewarebytes http://fileforum.betanews.com/download/Malwarebytes-AntiMalware/1186760019/1 and go to youtube to get a crack for the full version. Run full scan, it should catch the buggers. In ful it blocks backdoor sites trying to do stuff

3. I Orbit 360 http://dw.com.com/redir?edId=3&siteId=4&oId=3000-8022_4-10967594&ontId=8022_4&spi=4ad1311deebe9281bbae150c64f0a4a7&lop=link&tag=tdw_dltext&ltype=dl_dlnow&pid=11677872&mfgId=6271865&merId=6271865&pguid=1PX5lAoOYJEAAEKrs9UAAABp&destUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fdownload.cnet.com%2F3001-8022_4-10967594.html%3Fspi%3D4ad1311deebe9281bbae150c64f0 a4a7%26part%3Ddl-6271865 and once again youtube the crack for the full version. In full it catches malicious sites/cookies/trackers and lets you delete them daily.

I've gotten a few of those viruses and this is what I do now and I've been good for a while. Don't ever get a electronics place to fix your stuff. It's wasted money.

Hope this helps if it happens again or to anyone else..

[south ov da border]

also a very important thing to add. If you run rkill and get
grpconv.exe
anywhere you need to fix your registry because it will keep coming back...
...

[beandip]

...been runnin LINUX mint for 3+ years. Free. No viruses, ever. No virus protection, ever. Windoze is a fucking virus masquerading as an Operating System. The only program I need Windoze for is AutoCad, so I run it inside VirtualBox. I can even run NetFlix inside VB. Fuck Bill Gates and fuck Windoze.

[GrimFusion]

Dino - stop and do as people suggested - get malwarebytes and superantispyware - both free. If you can't get them onto your infected machine (some of these things are so smart, they won't let you download or run these programs) you may need to download them on a clean machine, slightly change the name, then put them on the infected machine and run.

This may not do it, because some of these infections are so insidious, they change your registry, and every time you restart, they re-install themselves. You may need to go into the registry and manually change/remove some things or download and run some specialty scripts. There are a couple forums where computer geeks will help you out with this - you run a free program (forget the name of it right now) and post the log, and someone will help you out - if running malwarebytes and superantispyware doesn't work, let me know and I will find you some links.

Once you get the machine running, buy and install Norton 360 - the only thing that really, really works.

Then again, with the kind of porn sites you're surfing, there may be no chance for your poor computer!

Most viruses and spyware change registry entries. The more insidious ones change your HOSTS file or redirect you to a proxy hosting a slew of other malware. Antimalware apps usually remove erroneous entries and try to correct changes made to the registry, but some don't do such an awesome job at it.

The program you can't remember the name of is called HijackThis and it's not an easy software to use. If steps aren't followed absolutely and precisely, he risks completely borking OS boot. Good luck stepping him through data recovery via LiveCD.

Norton 360 is pretty pointless. If Dino's behind a wireless router, he's already behind a hardware firewall. There's absolutely no reason to run a software firewall, too. Windows firewall is pretty pointless, but if you're paranoid, leave it enabled. The other totally awesome features in Norton 360? Parental control software, an email attachment scanner which only works with popular email applications like Outlook and Thunderbird, and online storage. It's beyond me why anybody would want to upload their personal files online with a company who has a vested interest in your data.

If he's not behind a wireless router, there are still much better firewall apps like Outpost or Comodo and they aren't pointlessly bloated installations nor do they suck RAM like Norton products do. Another plus? Same protection, and they're free.

He should be buying Norton Antivirus plus Antispyware 2011 if he's going to buy Norton. I'd suggest Kaspersky or NOD32. Kaspersky is really easy to use, and NOD32 removes malware faster and more effectively, but it's a bit of a bitch to setup and configure.

Personally, I use ClamWin. It's open-source, INCREDIBLY low-resource, tiny, does a great job at detecting and removing malware, and it's free. Scan speed is slow, and it doesn't come with all the fancy doo-dads, so I take other preventative measures like using safe browsing habits. On the other hand, I can't exactly point you to a popular free antivirus like Avast, Avira, or AVG because their detection rates float at about 81% and they're always the last to receive definition updates. They used to be good, but they pulled the whole "bait-and-switch" routine and damn near nobody notices.



http://www.themaclawyer.com/uploads/image/Mac%20vs%20PC%203.png

Or you could get a Mac.

http://www.apple.com/why-mac/

I don't know if that was a joke, or if you were actually suggesting he get a Mac. Macs ARE PCs now-a-days. There used to be a day when PCs and Macs used totally different hardware and everything Mac was completely proprietary, but not anymore. The only thing that makes a Mac and a PC any different is the operating system. Macs are more secure NOW because they run off of a UNIX base and so few people own them that virus proliferation would be low. Really low.

Refuse to fix your PC and buy a Mac and you've just made writing a virus for a Mac a little more appealing to script kiddies. Antivirus software on a Mac IS pointless since there are only five or six known active viruses that can infect a Mac, but as Macs become more numerous that number will rise. Then what? You're stuck with a $1800 laptop and the same problems you had with your old $600 PC.


ProTip for Everybody

Screw installing Antivirus and Antispyware software. Next time you end up having to reformat, learn about, install, and configure this:

Deep Freeze
http://www.faronics.com/en/Products/DeepFreeze/DeepFreezeCorporate.aspx (http://www.faronics.com/en/Products/DeepFreeze/DeepFreezeCorporate.aspx)

You'll need to partition your hard drive and configure your software to export anything saved to the second partition, but basically, you can download two rootkits, three viruses, and 15 instances of spyware, reboot your PC and everything reverts right back to the way it was when you first installed Deep Freeze.

Fuckin' A, right?

[Dino Velvet]

You guys are way too smart for me. Maybe we should have a tech section on the board with a super smart mod running it. If it weren't for this board my computer would still be broken and I'd have no weird porn to look at and masturbate to. Thanks. God Bless.

[Dino Velvet]

I have serious impulse issues. Trixie gives me The Clap. Sawbones fixes me up giving me a clean bill of health as I leave the office. Next day I'm over at Trixie's house again remembering all the fun we had but forgetting that she left me scratching.

This Vista AntiVirus 2012 is a real bitch and worse than the 2011 version. System locked up and didn't let me use any anti-virus programs. I finally got around it and have run 3 different anti-virus programs. So far, so good but I'm not out of the woods yet. I might see a little daylight unless it's a mirage.

July 4 is around the corner. Time for my dumb-ass to but a new Dell Desktop and put more viruses on it. Yay!

[robertlouis]

A mac, dear boy, get a mac.

[betts]

A mac, dear boy, get a mac.

Not the answer.
It's the operator, not the operating system, causing the issues.

[robertlouis]

Not the answer.
It's the operator, not the operating system, causing the issues.

It is if you want to minimise virus infection.

[peggygee]

Not the answer.
It's the operator, not the operating system, causing the issues.



Concurs, and here's a t-shirt for our lucky winner.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/218G56R3X1L._AA280_.jpg

[robertlouis]

Not the answer.
It's the operator, not the operating system, causing the issues.

Oh yes, I was forgetting that Dino is the operator in this case. His appetite for porn must make his virus software look like an emmenthal cheese.

[Dino Velvet]

I accept 100% blame.

[robertlouis]

I accept 100% blame.

You're a big man, Dino Velvet.

I'd still plead the fifth if I were you, though.

[Prospero]

Get a Mac Dino... everyone knows there is then no turning back

[Dino Velvet]

After all this time, I pulled the trigger on the Dell. Upgraded to better monitor and sound card. Looks good. I almost bought one of those nice HP Touch Screen All-In-Ones but there is no HDMI output so I can't hook it up to HDTV like I can with the Dell. I'm comfortable with my decision.

[Helvis2012]

Norton used to have a program that was only $30 called Clean Sweep. It's easy and very effective. They probably still make a version of it, probably better than the one I used.

[Dino Velvet]

Trying to decide between Norton and Kaspersky for Security Software. Leaning toward Kaspersky.

http://usa.kaspersky.com/products-services/home-computer-security/pure

http://www.bestbuy.ca/multimedia/Products/300x300/101/10161/10161943.jpg

[theone1982]

Trying to decide between Norton and Kaspersky for Security Software. Leaning toward Kaspersky.

http://usa.kaspersky.com/products-services/home-computer-security/pure

http://www.bestbuy.ca/multimedia/Products/300x300/101/10161/10161943.jpg

I've been told that Kaspersky is better.

[Dino Velvet]

I've been told that Kaspersky is better.

I hear that Norton still is a drag on computer speed.

[kukm4]

Review
Kaspersky Internet Security - Free software downloads and software reviews - CNET Download.com (http://download.cnet.com/Kaspersky-Internet-Security/3000-18510_4-10012072.html)
(4/5)

---
Microsoft Security Essentials (Free AV)

http://www.microsoft.com/security/pc-security/mse.aspx

review

Microsoft Security Essentials - Free software downloads and software reviews - CNET Download.com (http://download.cnet.com/Microsoft-Security-Essentials/3000-2239_4-10969260.html)
(4/5)
----

I use this one and has worked fine for me.

Avira free (ad-pop up once a day/when it updates virus definition)

http://www.avira.com/en/avira-free-antivirus

Avira AntiVir Personal - Free Antivirus - Free software downloads and software reviews - CNET Download.com (http://download.cnet.com/Avira-AntiVir-Personal-Free-Antivirus/3000-2239_4-10322935.html)
(4.5/5)
---------

NOD32

http://www.eset.com/us/leo
(Sponsor for Leo Laporte The Tech Guy radio show)

PROMO CODE: LEO2010 for another 10%

Review
ESET NOD32 Antivirus - Free software downloads and software reviews - CNET Download.com (http://download.cnet.com/ESET-NOD32-Antivirus/3000-2239_4-10185608.html)
(5/5)

Hope this helps Dino

[Dino Velvet]

Review
Kaspersky Internet Security - Free software downloads and software reviews - CNET Download.com (http://download.cnet.com/Kaspersky-Internet-Security/3000-18510_4-10012072.html)
(4/5)

---
Microsoft Security Essentials (Free AV)

http://www.microsoft.com/security/pc-security/mse.aspx

review

Microsoft Security Essentials - Free software downloads and software reviews - CNET Download.com (http://download.cnet.com/Microsoft-Security-Essentials/3000-2239_4-10969260.html)
(4/5)
----

I use this one and has worked fine for me.

Avira free (ad-pop up once a day/when it updates virus definition)

http://www.avira.com/en/avira-free-antivirus

Avira AntiVir Personal - Free Antivirus - Free software downloads and software reviews - CNET Download.com (http://download.cnet.com/Avira-AntiVir-Personal-Free-Antivirus/3000-2239_4-10322935.html)
(4.5/5)
---------

NOD32

http://www.eset.com/us/leo
(Sponsor for Leo Laporte The Tech Guy radio show)

PROMO CODE: LEO2010 for another 10%

Review
ESET NOD32 Antivirus - Free software downloads and software reviews - CNET Download.com (http://download.cnet.com/ESET-NOD32-Antivirus/3000-2239_4-10185608.html)
(5/5)

Hope this helps Dino

Thanks, kukm4.:cheers:

[Nicole Dupre]

This is what I want to do to my Crackberry. lol

shooting a computer - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvSEgorDM-Y)

[Dino Velvet]

Got my computer, monitor, and speakers yesterday. Hooked everything up last night with my external drive and Kaspersky Security Software. Will connect the HDMI to HDTV today. Everything is fine so far and looks/sounds great. Everything UPS/FedEx'd quickly and as promised.

[mealticket]

ah sorry just saw this message, I got that virus a few weeks back, went into task manager ended the process then avg was able to quarantine it, took 5 min to get rid of.