Hiding your past

[LieutenantInnuendo]

.....................................

[christinafoxx]

What is the point of hiding and always worrying who will find out?

We are blessed to be giftedly gendered and unique.

Something I am proud to be.

http://christinafoxx.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Encore-Image-Photo-Studio-1314.jpg

http://www.ChrisTinaFoxx.com
Be Bold, Be Proud, Be Yourself.
Chris Tina Foxx Bruce

[youshouldtrythislol]

The way I see it, if a guy likes a woman enough, they won't be ashamed of her past.

[dreamon]

What you are talking about is the male in the relationship's fault, not the girl. If you expect to have a long term relationship, you can't be afraid or embarrassed of the person you are with. You are essentially telling girls they should pretend to be something they aren't.

[toopretty]

i see what your saying. Personally I would lose friends and family if I openly dated a tgirl. and I have two different ways of thinking about it. 1st, im a man and would be proud of anyone i choose to date. But on the other hand, when dating a gg, I would dump her if keeping her meant losing my friends for any reason. I hold two conflicting viewpoints, so... i dont know i guess.

[fred41]

Say what you want....you're not a man if you're worried about your Mommy finding out.

[fred41]

i see what your saying. Personally I would lose friends and family if I openly dated a tgirl. and I have two different ways of thinking about it. 1st, im a man and would be proud of anyone i choose to date. But on the other hand, when dating a gg, I would dump her if keeping her meant losing my friends for any reason. I hold two conflicting viewpoints, so... i dont know i guess.

I could probably think of some real important reasons you might want to keep part of it secret depending on whether or not she does adult work...but losing your friends ??!!....I'm sorry but..what're you like 18?....who the fuck cares about their friends?? you think forty years from now you're gonna have the same friends??...you may still have the same lover though in that time span.....because she would become your best friend...

...so , you wouldn't even marry a girl if your friends disapproved??

[PomonaCA]

I could probably think of some real important reasons you might want to keep part of it secret depending on whether or not she does adult work...but losing your friends ??!!....I'm sorry but..what're you like 18?....who the fuck cares about their friends?? you think forty years from now you're gonna have the same friends??...you may still have the same lover though in that time span.....because she would become your best friend...

...so , you wouldn't even marry a girl if your friends disapproved??


My friends can go pound sand if they want to tell me that my attraction to transsexual women will destroy our friendship. I have to live with myself and my friends can say goodbye anytime they want. I have friends who have seen me with my ex girl who I loved and was moderately fish and were cool and then I have friends who were critical of any girl I dated. That said, if you don't have a friend who has known you since your 20's at least, there is something wrong with you. As men, we are born egotistical. But there comes a time when we have to accept each other as men and all of the quirks that comes with learning ourselves.

Acceptance is the same for transgirls.

[giovanni_hotel]

Close friends and maybe a few select family members, other than that, I'm not going there with people if I'm in a LTR with a TG.

I won't deny her if confronted about it, but IMO it's really no one else's business.
My family is very Black and very conservative/traditional. I mean they would still love me no doubt, but they would definitely be saying, 'you know cousin ----? Who knew he was a straight up FAGGOT?? You think he's coming to this year's family picnic??'

Again, I know names are just 'labels' other put on you and not yourself, but as a self identified str8 man, it takes a while sometimes for this to sink in.

[fred41]

My friends can go pound sand if they want to tell me that my attraction to transsexual women will destroy our friendship. I have to live with myself and my friends can say goodbye anytime they want. I have friends who have seen me with my ex girl who I loved and was moderately fish and were cool and then I have friends who were critical of any girl I dated. That said, if you don't have a friend who has known you since your 20's at least, there is something wrong with you. As men, we are born egotistical. But there comes a time when we have to accept each other as men and all of the quirks that comes with learning ourselves.

Acceptance is the same for transgirls.

I agree with almost everything you said ..but the bold sentence makes no sense whatsoever to me.

[PomonaCA]

Ok, it's important to have friends who really know us. It's important because without that we are living to our own will and as is obvious, without friends who can call us out our own bullshit we are dead. Post op, pre op, we are dead without each other.

[fred41]

Ok, it's important to have friends who really know us. It's important because without that we are living to our own will and as is obvious, without friends who can call us out our own bullshit we are dead. Post op, pre op, we are dead without each other.

That used to be one of the purposes of marriage (that and children of course)...but to have "bro-mates" for a life time is not a necessity.

[DL_NL]

Closed minds and repressed societies make for unhappy people... and sadly, few people realize that they can be part of the solution to the problem, if they are willing to change.

[dderek123]

Closed minds and repressed societies make for unhappy people... and sadly, few people realize that they can be part of the solution to the problem, if they are willing to change.
:iagree:
Yeah it's a less than ideal world that we live in. But things are going to change for the better I believe. If TS and there partners are seen as having healthy and productive relationships I think that acceptance/tolerance will grow.

Now if TS were seen in the media fostering healthy relationships that would be great. What ever is on TV the public gobbles up.

[TsVanessa69]

The way I see it, if a guy likes a woman enough, they won't be ashamed of her past.
very true, But i think some guys think that we can''t be happy being transgendered. I dont try to be what I am not, I try to enjoy who I am. The people in my life should feel the same way or they should not be a part of my life

[peggygee]

http://www.saltirefoundation.com/cs/cfs-filesystemfile.ashx/__key/CommunityServer.Blogs.Components.WeblogFiles/fellow/stealth_2D00_fighter.jpg

[TSMichelleAustin]

I have been with guys who try to hide you from the world and family! Or deny my past and in the end they find out... I have had my family take a long time to over their issues with me but they now are very supportive and love me. If your family loves you they will come around and if your friends cant accept who you love then they are not true friends!!! If they dont understand it, then educate them!

[rockabilly]

Some people can't be educated and are so stuck w/ their beliefs that it's too draining to try.

Some times you need a fresh start to be happy.

[phobun]

That used to be one of the purposes of marriage (that and children of course)...but to have "bro-mates" for a life time is not a necessity.


I agree....

[Niccolo]

Some strange comments on this thread: I've lost count of the people who I grew up with & went to school with who are now dead, or have emigrated, or whatever the fuck. That's life, and death goes hand in hand with it. So what that comment about knowing people since your twenties is about, I really don't know. And btw, anyone who would put the opinion of someone else above their own happiness and well-being, and who would then call that person a 'friend' is the one with something wrong inside their nut. We're each responsible for our own happiness in this life. And short as it is, we'd all do well to remember that fact every now and again.

[phobun]

Close friends and maybe a few select family members, other than that, I'm not going there with people if I'm in a LTR with a TG.

I won't deny her if confronted about it, but IMO it's really no one else's business.
My family is very Black and very conservative/traditional. I mean they would still love me no doubt, but they would definitely be saying, 'you know cousin ----? Who knew he was a straight up FAGGOT?? You think he's coming to this year's family picnic??'

Again, I know names are just 'labels' other put on you and not yourself, but as a self identified str8 man, it takes a while sometimes for this to sink in.


Straight guys generally don't use gay shorthand like "str8"

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Str8

[LaCosa]

Some strange comments on this thread: I've lost count of the people who I grew up with & went to school with who are now dead, or have emigrated, or whatever the fuck. That's life, and death goes hand in hand with it. So what that comment about knowing people since your twenties is about, I really don't know. And btw, anyone who would put the opinion of someone else above their own happiness and well-being, and who would then call that person a 'friend' is the one with something wrong inside their nut. We're each responsible for our own happiness in this life. And short as it is, we'd all do well to remember that fact every now and again.


Some people come from neighborhoods and cultures with long time connections. One might think of the old Italian and Sicilian neighborhoods that lasted into the 1960's. A number of Black-American neighborhoods in the Midwest remain like that.

Italians and the Irish have pretty much assimilated fully into mainstream White-America and partly because as a "whole" they have risen out of the poverty that affected a large portion of them for so long. This is less so with Black-Americans (in fact it is the reverse with their Gen X on downward).

I come from a neighborhood of deep connections. Generations living in the same areas and even the same homes. Extended families sometimes. It's a world and culture much different from mainstream White-America. Here... you know people from the cradle and they don't run to tell the police on you. You don't need the bank when the person owning the store will borrow cash money to you at interest.

[aduusw]

I wont be afraid of telling because of lossing friends or family, I think is their lost....

but in the other hand, when dating a transgender, if we split up in the future, im afraid that future girls I date would hate the idea that I dated a transgender woman... thats the only thing that preoccupies me, cause most woman wont approve... and what can I do? I like woman.

[bte]

Then don't tell your future girlfriends that you dated a TS. You think your future girlfriend will divulge all of her past relationships?

[aduusw]

it will be a little hard if your family and friends know... dont you think??

[phobun]

it will be a little hard if your family and friends know... dont you think??


What will be a little hard?

[phobun]

Then don't tell your future girlfriends that you dated a TS.


Exactly. You aren't obligated to divulge someone else's private medical history.

[mtbazz]

Sorry, but if feel you would lose friends and family for dating a tgirl your friends arent that great and your family sucks.

[mtbazz]

I wont be afraid of telling because of lossing friends or family, I think is their lost....

but in the other hand, when dating a transgender, if we split up in the future, im afraid that future girls I date would hate the idea that I dated a transgender woman... thats the only thing that preoccupies me, cause most woman wont approve... and what can I do? I like woman.

Just dont tell a future girlfriend...besides, most "new" girlfriends dont want to hear about your previous relationships.

[Helvis2012]

Be brave.......