Real life scenarios..

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

This goes out to everyone..man, ts/tg/tv etc..

Question?..

Scenario: Say you have a brother, son, father, uncle, cousin, close friend etc. (whatever the case maybe)..Who one day told you he wanted to be a transexual..Would you:

A. Be tolerant and supportive of him?

B. Disapprove of it. Disown and frown upon him?

~HTG

[BeardedOne]

Jeez, Ms. Hara, you do come up with the ballbusters, don'tcha?

My answer would definitely be A: Tolerant and supportive, but you know it's just too easy an answer.

I've already been in a handful of scenarios just like this, but in every case I was already an outside observer (None were immediate family members) so about all I was able to do was provide a good ear, a dry shoulder, and make some attempt at giving good advice. In two of these scenarios I was stuck trying to do all of the above without screwing up from the fact that I had an emotional/sexual attraction to the individuals in question.

Sometimes, there's only one good answer: Get another cat. >^..^<

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Jeez, Ms. Hara, you do come up with the ballbusters, don'tcha?

LOL. Well real life is more interesting to discuss than being stuck arguing with people and most especially online. So why not talk about real life, right? :wink:


My answer would definitely be A: Tolerant and supportive, but you know it's just too easy an answer.

I've already been in a handful of scenarios just like this, but in every case I was already an outside observer (None were immediate family members) so about all I was able to do was provide a good ear, a dry shoulder, and make some attempt at giving good advice.

Good answer BeardedOne. 8)


In two of these scenarios I was stuck trying to do all of the above without screwing up from the fact that I had an emotional/sexual attraction to the individuals in question.

Haha! Interesting..I guess thats quite a dilemma..providing an ear, a shoulder and talk some sense all the while having attraction for the person. :twisted: :wink:

~Kisses.

HTG

[slinky]

Does he have nice tits and a big dick?

[Ecstatic]

The easy (and true) answer is that I would be supportive and would never be disapproving. However, if it were someone that close to me, who had previously not demonstrated this identification, I would most definitely want to disucss the ramifications with hir (deliberately selected pronoun there), and quite probably with a therapist, to be certain that this is an appropriate decision. But yes, I would definitely support hir choice.

[ezed]

I would say, have you thought about it, if so I wish you the best. By the way, you're still playing hockey aren't you? and drinking beers?

ya gotta do what's right for you, and fuck the critics!

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

ya gotta do what's right for you, and fuck the critics!

I agree.

LOL@you're still playing hockey aren't you? and drinking beers?

~Kisses.

HTG

[ezed]

ya gotta do what's right for you, and fuck the critics!

I agree.

LOL@you're still playing hockey aren't you? and drinking beers?

~Kisses.

HTG

Yes I am love! And enjoying every minute! :D

[roy404]

Wish them luck. Support them and most of all make sure they are sure of their decision. Oh yes and protect them from the freaks and haters out there the best I could

[Chica]

probably not the best areas to get a populative decision... i'd guess that everyone would support... however real life is different, my dad and brother don't approve, im guessing im not the only one either

[McRen]

if it was a loved one that came forward with this.... the loved ones should know that he was leaning towards fem, and not be too shocked.

A father and brother not approving? I can definately see that happening. I'd think most Dads dont want their son to become their daughter.

A question for the tgirls, I take it your families knew you were more femenine than other boys didnt they? Did any of your parents take it well?

[Chica]

well when i told my dad, he just didnt want to know about it... there i was in tears and he just saying stupid stuff, im glad he isn't my biological dad though, he's actually my uncle but a strange adoption thing went and my life just turned out to be completely confusing from start to finish.

i don't really care what my family think now though, im hopefully moving away start of next year so that would be a massive bonus not having my family there, or whats left of it

[BeardedOne]

Haha! Interesting..I guess thats quite a dilemma..providing an ear, a shoulder and talk some sense all the while having attraction for the person. :twisted: :wink:

My biggest challenge was in time spent with an intersexed feller (Genetic male, born female) that I met online a few years back. His was not so much finding acceptance of transition as much as it was carving out an identity for himself that people wouldn't be so quick to want to "fix".

He'd already been through a life of being the guinea pig for medical professionals who, in their minds anyway, meant well, but who invariably recommended the wrong turns. Then, when puberty struck and the hormones and testosterone started warring against each other, he started having all kinds of natural (As opposed to medication induced) physical problems including, but not limited to, ADD, dyslexia, mild autism, ad nauseum. Then came the social issues, abuse, rape, ostrization (Sp?).

Then I pop into his life, accepting him entirely on face value (Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, etc.) and he turns to me for big brother/fatherly advice (I was twice his age when we met). That's hard to do when the one seeking the advice has to be pried from your crotch with a crowbar (A necessity that was hard to perform when you consider that he was giving off a super dose of both male and female chemistry that not only had me firing on all cylinders but screaming into overdrive as well).

One of the big problems he had at the time was identifying himslef as a sexual being (Or, for that matter, getting other people to accept him as such). He identified as gay, but gay men rejected him because he was, to them, female. He couldn't jive with lesbians and vice-versa, because he was male. Straight girls just freaked out when they were around him. Then I come 'round, and suddenly the floodgates opened. The unspent sexual energy he let loose was downright scary.

Eventually, he came up for air long enough that we had several long talks (About three weeks' worth). That's where he revealed the muddled history of his life. Though fortunate to have a loving, understanding, and supportive family in his mother and sister, such support seemed to end at the doorstep for him. He was rejected or ignored by the very gender communities that he embraced and that, added to abuses he suffered at the hands of gay men who, quite literally, punished him for being 'born wrong', caused him immense distress in regards to social interaction as a whole.

Maybe that's how we found each other at the time, as I was going through a similar (Though far less disturbing) withdrawal from life at large.

The tale has a somewhat (I say somewhat because I don't have recent details) happy ending. After our time together, which lasted a bit over two months, in brief spurts at my home and his, he moved off to a southern state where he met the only likely soulmate that he felt truly happy with, a F2M transsexual who identified as a gay male. He also became very active in the intersexed community, which was just building steam at the time we first met, thus giving him a sense of social acceptance that was unavailable before. We kept in touch for a while, but I haven't heard from him in over a year, so I hope for the best.

I like to think I helped, in some way. Besides providing an outlet for him to get a whole bag o' nuts off. :)

[BlackAdder]

Interesting story, I was friends with an intersexed identified female person for awhile a year ago...I personally couldnt take the personality shifts....And this person was also ultrasensitive about agreeing with her or being against her.. :roll:

[BeardedOne]

Interesting story, I was friends with an intersexed identified female person for awhile a year ago...I personally couldnt take the personality shifts....And this person was also ultrasensitive about agreeing with her or being against her.. :roll:

Yah, this is similar to what happened between us. I did give some brief thought (And we talked about it quite a bit) as to what a relationship with him might be like, since we connected so completely (Or so it seemed).

In his case it was as much his history as it was the chemical spikes that were causing him so much trouble. One day the testosterone would be up and all he'd want to do is wrestle and suck, then he would get near psychotic as the hormones would loop in and draw him down into a severe depression.

The depressions would then have him looking back at all the low points in his life, most always to the events of rape and abuse and then the inherent self-loathing (If he hadn't been born this way it would never have happened) would kick in. To say that this was all stressful is a serious understatement. Then the testosterone would climb up again and he'd go totally hypersonic. I came home from work one day to find that he'd scrubbed down the whole apartment in the few hours that I'd been gone (Another reason that I gave sincere consideration to 'keeping' him :) ).

*Sigh* :(

[lar336]

My answer is A

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Great story youve shared BeardedOne! First time I ever heard someone sharing his experiences with an intersexed person. Never met anyone who is intersexed but I can only imagine what one goes through..I can somewhat relate to the horrible mood swings tho. Sad to hear that you guys lost touch..Im sure he still looks up to you as someone of a respectable figure in his life. At any rate, Im glad to hear that he has found somewhat of an acceptance with someone. I hope both of them are doing well.

~Kisses.

HTG

[InHouston]

I'd be supportive. Being that I'm on this forum, it would be hypocritical of me not to be.

[BeardedOne]

Sad to hear that you guys lost touch..Im sure he still looks up to you as someone of a respectable figure in his life.

Had 'im fooled completely. :wink:

'Course, now y'all got me Googlin' him! :x

But then, he'd be most amused by the reference. :) Perhaps his greatest curse was the pure genius in him. He was constantly babbling on one tack or another, making up a lexicon of his own along the way (He was the only person I ever heard of that consistently referred to canines as 'dorgs' and 'dorglets'). Very self aware and overtuned to his surroundings.

The last entires I'd seen in his blog (No longer at the link I had) talked of student life, relationship peaks and valleys, etc. A surprisingly 'normal' life, considering what he'd been through before I'd met him.

One thing I remember about our time together was how easily he took to my touching him. He had so many bad memories, primarily from medical examinations, that made him rather jittery. I treated him more as an exploration than as someone to be gawked at (Though, I'm sure I did my share of gawking, because he transcended all the gender lines as far as appearance).

I think I commited the appearance of his nether regions to memory, I explored them so much. :) As his gender morphed in the womb, he was an intriguing visual study. Being genetically male, the scrotal sack was almost fully formed, but his 'nads' (As he liked to call his 'ovatestes') had not descended, giving him the most gorgeous 'male labia' you can imagine. He enjoyed that I liked stroking them, rather than pulling and probing as the doctors had done. *Whuf* It's getting hot in here. :lol:

In the years since we spent our time together, a growing network of intersex resources has blossomed, so he now has a greater community to turn to that is in synch with what he's experienced. I just read some snippets on a second annual day of awareness and medical conferences to address what he said was the biggest problem he faced in his life: The doctors invariably guess wrong. I also noted that his health issues (ADD, autism, etc.) are a common thread amongst intersexed people.

Back to Google. :P

[brickcitybrother]

Been there (almost) - Done that (almost). I have a close cousin who is both gay and has a serious penchant for ladies clothes. I do not care for him more or less then my other family members.

[Gus The Dagger]

Disapprove, NIMBY.

[Perverted Monk]

^^^I hear ya

I'm a serious hypocrite. If my son wants to lay on the pipe a on TS, I'll tell him be safe, and be a top.

But as far as him being one... :evil:

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Thanks for sharing your views Gus The Dagger and Perverted Monk.

Its really nice to see diverse but "honest" opinions about real life topics/subjects that alot of transexuals initially goes through.:)

~Kisses.

HTG

[Gus The Dagger]

Im not against it but I just dont want to be dragged into any details and emotional things. If someone close to me or a relative wants to be a TS, its fine by me but just keep all the details and info about it to yourself. I know what a TS is so I do not need any info on this.

[Ecstatic]

BeardedOne, thank you for sharing that account. I've long thought about and read about intersexed people, but have never known one (that I know of). Their plight has been improving in recent years, and it sounds as if your friend moved in a good direction.

[BeardedOne]

BeardedOne, thank you for sharing that account. I've long thought about and read about intersexed people, but have never known one (that I know of). Their plight has been improving in recent years, and it sounds as if your friend moved in a good direction.

I've been bizzy Googling since posting to this thread and found that my friend not only found sympathetic community since last I saw him, but has wound up on the board of at least one intersex support network. 8) I have pinged same and asked that they forward a message to him so, who knows? :)

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

I've been bizzy Googling since posting to this thread and found that my friend not only found sympathetic community since last I saw him, but has wound up on the board of at least one intersex support network. 8) I have pinged same and asked that they forward a message to him so, who knows? :)

That is great news BeardedOne! I wish you goodluck in finding him again. :wink: You seem to be the type of person who values people connection. And that is a good thing to have. 8)

Oh and btw, I forgot to tell you..Ive met someone born intersex not to long ago online at another forum (Which I moderate with a friend). And I completely understand what your saying about sudden/extreme mood swings. I use to not understand her at all. Though she PMed me and weve sorta discussed it. Now I understand where she is coming from. If anything, She is a kewl person..Just need some kind understanding.

~Kisses.

HTG

[Ecstatic]

Good luck, BeardedOne. I hope you connect with your friend again.

[BeardedOne]

You seem to be the type of person who values people connection. And that is a good thing to have. 8)

I guess that's why I make such a lousy hermit. :?



Good luck, BeardedOne. I hope you connect with your friend again.

Thanx. I mostly just want to know that he's doing OK. From what I've seen so far (In the snippets I've found via Google) it looks like he's finally settled into a spot where he can be safe and comfortable for the long haul.