View Full Version : Married with kids...but into T-girls. What to do?
sicboy260
10-22-2009, 05:27 AM
OK, so I'm new to this site but I don't have anyone to talk to about this so I figured what the hell.
I'm 32, married with 3 kids. I love being a father and husband, love my family and wife. But I get very turned on by T-girls. Shemale porn turns me on like nothing else...I get fucking hard as hell watching it.
I've had a few experiences with T-girls and LOVED it....felt ashamed and horrible about myself afterward because I'm married, but I cant help but have these feelings.
So whats a guy like me to do? Be a good boy and stop looking at porn and acting out on my fantasies? Or follow my feelings? Is there anything inbetween??
Looking forward to the discussion...
callahac
10-22-2009, 05:38 AM
Hey man,
I'm married with kids as well. However my wife knows all about my tgirl attractions and others as well. I really suggest you talk to her about what you are into. Not saying it will be a easy path for you, but long term I think you will be happier. My wife and I have had major ups and downs with it over the years, but now we are in a good place and can seperate sexual needs from love, if you know what I mean
Chris
sicboy260
10-22-2009, 05:47 AM
I actually have told her....it was about 6 months ago. She kinda freaked out on me and asked me if I was gay. my answer was, if I were gay I would like guys. Guys dont do anything for me. I love the female body, and T-girls have something extra special...
She basically told me she'd leave me if I did anything again... so I've been good since then and havent cheated on her, but I cant not look at shemale porn....and i'm still thinking about it...
she wants me to see a therapist about my "sex addiction"... I'm not sure thats what it is, and I am not really all that keen on seeing a therapist....
Its nice to know i'm not alone here.... thanks man
callahac
10-22-2009, 05:57 AM
Hey, no problem guy. My wife freaked as well. After years of dealing with it she finally got it that sexual needs are different than love. I am still the guy she fell in love with, it is just that a part of me is now in the open. You know what I mean? Bottomline is my wife is my best friend, I'm sticking with her, I'm in love with the person not the genetalia.
2009AD
10-22-2009, 06:03 AM
Nothing wrong with getting turned on by tgirls. IF you keep on cheating on your wife, she'll leave you, take the kids, file for divorce, and you'll end up paying alimony. Is it worth it to you?
If you are a sex addict, get some counseling. Losing your family does not seem worth it.
PS; If you are fucking tg escorts, you risk getting arrested. Explain that to the wife... as she leaves you.
I actually have told her....it was about 6 months ago. She kinda freaked out on me and asked me if I was gay. my answer was, if I were gay I would like guys. Guys dont do anything for me. I love the female body, and T-girls have something extra special...
She basically told me she'd leave me if I did anything again... so I've been good since then and havent cheated on her, but I cant not look at shemale porn....and i'm still thinking about it...
she wants me to see a therapist about my "sex addiction"... I'm not sure thats what it is, and I am not really all that keen on seeing a therapist....
Its nice to know i'm not alone here.... thanks man
Silcc69
10-22-2009, 06:04 AM
Sounds like your assed out.
Silcc69
10-22-2009, 06:05 AM
Sounds like your assed out.
speedstick112
10-22-2009, 06:09 AM
PS; If you are fucking tg escorts, you risk getting arrested. Explain that to the wife... as she leaves you.
Whoooooa hold on, it's illegal to fuck tg escorts? :|
BLKGSXR
10-22-2009, 06:09 AM
Sounds like your assed out.look here you little cock loving douchebag no one cares what you have to say stop talking to me quoting etc...your nothing but a piece of fucking shit, you come onto this site to post Kanye,who is a racist, and other dumbass threads in which no one wants to read...I mean I seriously believe you have embedded HA into your daily life so that if you dont get your X amount of trolling/spamming you will get butthurt....I mean that is all you are right??? all you do is share videos/pics with other users like your a cool fucking person nah your a dumbass, silcc you are one dumb motherfucker.-now thats some real shit.
fred41
10-22-2009, 06:31 AM
In my honest opinion..I think you already know what you are going to do. You just want people to say it's alright. The dead give away (to me) is an avatar with your cock out. Just my opinion (I'm not a troll..honest)...but I feel if your gonna ask a serious question like that out of any real concern ..then youd have a different avatar.
steviedresses
10-22-2009, 07:26 AM
Dude. You are married. Cheating with a tgirl, a GG, or a man is all the same thing. It's cheating. If you value your marriage and REALLY love your kids you will suck it up like the rest of us. Just cruise the porn sites and spank the monkey when you need to.... You can't get HIV or the Crabs from porn.
If you are going to cheat then do the honorable and divorce her before you do it.
phobun
10-22-2009, 08:11 AM
Sounds like your assed out.look here you little cock loving douchebag no one cares what you have to say stop talking to me quoting etc...your nothing but a piece of fucking shit, you come onto this site to post Kanye,who is a racist, and other dumbass threads in which no one wants to read...I mean I seriously believe you have embedded HA into your daily life so that if you dont get your X amount of trolling/spamming you will get butthurt....I mean that is all you are right??? all you do is share videos/pics with other users like your a cool fucking person nah your a dumbass, silcc you are one dumb motherfucker.-now thats some real shit.
Let's not derail the thread with personal griping.
To the OP, man, stick to porn and fantasies. Apart from getting arrested, humiliated, public record, etc, fucking around with escorts while married could expose your wife to all sorts of nasty shit. Yeah, yeah, they're all clean and tested... right. If you really love her, use better sense than cheating with whores on the downlow. At least respect her health for the sake of your kids you love... she's their mom.
giovanni_hotel
10-22-2009, 07:02 PM
Man, it's real easy, since you don't plan on leaving your wife/kids for your lust of tgirls - YET!!!
You need to buy a separate laptop for porn, wireless, and clear your browser cache everytime you log off and get a copy of a program like mysecretfolder to lock your private tgirl material and keep it invisible on your PC.
Next, you need to get a few of your boyz and plan road trips to NY, Vegas, LA a few times a year if you don't have a legit job related reason to travel.
Always wear a condom, make sure you do a proper screen of any girls you might meet, to avoid getting busted, and live your life.
Just heard a quote about how the bonds of marriage are quite heavy and require more than two people to carry them(!!). Protect your wife and kiddies from public ridicule and get on with man!!
Silcc69
10-22-2009, 08:19 PM
Sounds like your assed out.look here you little cock loving douchebag no one cares what you have to say stop talking to me quoting etc...your nothing but a piece of fucking shit, you come onto this site to post Kanye,who is a racist, and other dumbass threads in which no one wants to read...I mean I seriously believe you have embedded HA into your daily life so that if you dont get your X amount of trolling/spamming you will get butthurt....I mean that is all you are right??? all you do is share videos/pics with other users like your a cool fucking person nah your a dumbass, silcc you are one dumb motherfucker.-now thats some real shit.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IVI5W8Eg3Gs/SI8lYL-M6jI/AAAAAAAAABE/hJEyACF7rNQ/s320/YouMad.jpg
pioneerurban
10-22-2009, 08:31 PM
My wife knows that I have tranny porn and she's ok with it.
Sometimes we do act out the fantasy of me being dressed as a woman (even have my own clothes, breasts, etc....)
But not very often.
After all it's just a fantasy and I'm quite in love with my wife.
SarahG
10-22-2009, 08:50 PM
To add to what everyone else has said-
If the relationship had always been a closed relationship, it would be reasonable for her to expect that to continue. BUT, at the same time- marriage isn't ownership, its a partnership- it is unreasonable for her to go and demand you never look at trans porn. Just as it would be unreasonable if you say, ordered her never to watch romance comedies (cliché but its the best I could think of on impulse since most GG's don't use porn).
The mention of therapy makes me curious... are you really a sex addict, or is she just freaking out because you're into trans girls?
If its the former then by all means seek out therapy. Sex addiction is a horrible thing to have to deal with, especially for anyone in a closed relationship. But if its the later, she needs to grow up and realize that you're not crazy just because you happen to be into tgirls. Liking trans girls is not a mental illness, and certainly not sex addiction.
Cheating is cheating no matter who you're having sex with behind her back. GG, GB, trans- it doesn't make a difference. Cheating becomes an even bigger problem if you're using sex workers. Some people have mentioned getting arrested... that would probably be a bad thing for your family.
It gets worse than getting arrested though. That's nothing compared to if you cheated on her, unknowingly caught an STD, and then gave it to her. Not only would she suddenly find that she has an STD... but it would probably be one of the worst ways she could find out. Using protection helps, but its not a sure thing.
And since we're talking about stds... some std's are worse for GG's than they are for guys. Think about HPV, many guys become HPV carriers without ever knowing. So they pass it onto a girl after being exposed... what does she have to worry about? It could kill her. It could give her cervix cancer. Vulva cancer. Vaginal cancer. Depending on the strand she could start getting warts from HPV. Once that happens she has it for life, like herpes... only worse, she'd have to go into her obgyn and have them BURNT OFF HER GENITALS as they appear. It's not a pleasant thing to have to go through. You know that HPV vaccine? It's worthless once you've been exposed to the virus. In order for it to be effective you have to take the vaccine before being exposed (that's why so many health groups are trying to get us to give it to prepubescent children, so they'll be protected from before they get a sex drive).
I really don't know what to say about how to proceed- but if I had to guess I'd say you two need to come to some sort of an understanding on this, at the very least over the porn & the therapy issue. You're interest in porn isn't going to end- like in the other thread she'll find out eventually if you keep using it- and if she does later find out, thinking this is behind her, she'll wonder what else you're hiding from her. Then, even if you hadn't cheated, she'll think you have.
sicboy260
10-23-2009, 01:14 AM
Hey all, thanks for the replies, I really appreciate it. I agree with the avatar comment, if I wanted to be serious I shouldn't have had that up there. As for the sex addiction, I really can't say whether I am or not. Do I feel like a sex addict? no. I've read a few books about it and from what I've read it looks like I may fall into that category, but I don't know what that means. Maybe therapy is the answer, even though I really don't want to do that. I hate therapists.
But you all are right, I need to get my head out of my ass and stop being a shithead.
Thanks for the help :)
Shadycat
10-23-2009, 01:20 AM
What's more important to you, dude? Your kids and your wife? Or fucking a TGirl? If you don't mind losing your family, then go for it bro.
CaptainGeech
10-23-2009, 02:46 AM
Bottom line:
Its fine to look at any porn you want (as long as its legal). Your wife should be willing to accept this if she demands to know everything about you. She should view it as simply a fantasy and your need to bust a nut.
Its NOT fine to cheat on your wife. Your decision to turn fantasy into reality is troubling. I'm amazed she didn't dump your ass the second she found out. Probably didn't because of your 3 kids.
The porn issue might be easy to solve: be open with her, discuss it, and agree to use porn in moderation. If she's a personality match to you, I think she'll accept it.
A lot of married guys use escorts. That doesn't make it right, I'm only pointing out it is pretty widespread. In my opinion the two main moral issues for married men are: 1) risk of giving disease to your spouse (explained in SarahG's excellent reply), and 2) spending too much money.
I don't want to come across as recommending you violate social norms, but if it helps, let me point out there are fairly safe things you can do with escorts like hand massage or full-body massage which can be satisfying. The health risks are not zero, but they are pretty small. Also, you should do all that you can to reduce the risks of getting arrested, e.g avoid street hookers at all costs.
drock
10-23-2009, 08:48 AM
I bet most of the guys trannys fuck are married with kids.
agnestv
10-23-2009, 11:58 AM
keep it as secret and you will not have problems :-)
russtafa
10-23-2009, 12:47 PM
fence jumpers
sucka4chix
10-23-2009, 01:28 PM
This is some of the worst advice I've ever read.
First off, you're married. That means you took a vow to be with this woman and only her. If you didn't mean to, you shoulda stayed single. That part is not tranny specific.
If you're watching porn separate from your wife, it's gonna cause problems. You'll start identifying with the scenes in the flicks and she won't be part of that. Again, not tranny specific.
Now, watching tranny porn is quite different--- if you are getting extremely excited watching it, you have an attraction to something YOUR WIFE CAN NEVER BE!!! Of course you'll be prone to cheat, because it'll be IMPOSSIBLE to get what you want at home! And no matter what a girl says, if she knows you're getting your jollies from something she can't do, deep down it'll bother the shit out of her!
If this is a legit question, leave the tranny scene alone, period. It has no value as far as your marriage is concerned!
^ A well-stated representation of the "don't do it" moral stance.
I've already responded to this thread and don't want to repeat myself, but would just add that a lot of people make a moral distinction between cheating with a lover and cheating with an escort. In the former case, there are divided loyalties and a heavy investment in resources. In the latter case there is no issue of love and it is relatively cheap when done in moderation. The act must be done with careful attention to safety.
I don't want to be the voice of "just do it" -- far from it. I'm only pointing out there are degrees of badness, shades of black and white.
Bobzz
10-23-2009, 07:49 PM
Like several other posters, I'm married with kids and like a few others my wife is actually OK with my occasional interaction with a T-gal. There is a huge difference between love and "recreational sex" which we both appreciate. Morality, sex addictions and the "sanctity of marriage" arguments that other posters have made are all bullshit (with all due respect to the other posters). Your wife is obviously threatened by your attraction and you are obviously conflicted by it. That's what's creating the tension now and unless one or both of you change your viewpoint on things, it's not going to change for the better. My advice is to see a "sex-positive" marriage counselor (as a couple) or as an individual (at least initially) seek out a therapist who specializes in sexuality issues a/k/a "a sex therapist". Preferably seek out a female sex therapist, they tend to be less threatening and judgmental to women. Let your wife and the therapist know that you are committed to the marriage and that you don't plan on abandoning your wife or family (assuming that this is the case). It'll be tough and there'll be some new ground rules and it will take time. It's a long road but as a small handful of us know, it can work and it can work well for all parties. Good luck.
gotchagood
10-24-2009, 10:49 PM
I actually have told her....it was about 6 months ago. She kinda freaked out on me and asked me if I was gay. my answer was, if I were gay I would like guys. Guys dont do anything for me. I love the female body, and T-girls have something extra special...
She basically told me she'd leave me if I did anything again... so I've been good since then and havent cheated on her, but I cant not look at shemale porn....and i'm still thinking about it...
she wants me to see a therapist about my "sex addiction"... I'm not sure thats what it is, and I am not really all that keen on seeing a therapist....
Its nice to know i'm not alone here.... thanks manPart of your problem is not the fact that your wife found out that you like she-males she's probably more upset that you cheated on her, (in her head) you eventually will again and therefore how can she trust you? If you are going to continually cheat on her with t-girls, you owe it to her yourself and children to just get a divorce, it's no different than cheating on her with a gg. As far as viewing t-girl porn, imo, have at it. Just know where your boundries are; if you are viewing she-male porn instead of playing ball outside with your children; then therapy is probably a good thing. Also, probably over half the guys on this site are married with children or married. Hang in there.
Have a great day :wink:
fred41
10-24-2009, 11:16 PM
Like several other posters, I'm married with kids and like a few others my wife is actually OK with my occasional interaction with a T-gal. There is a huge difference between love and "recreational sex" which we both appreciate. Morality, sex addictions and the "sanctity of marriage" arguments that other posters have made are all bullshit (with all due respect to the other posters). Your wife is obviously threatened by your attraction and you are obviously conflicted by it. That's what's creating the tension now and unless one or both of you change your viewpoint on things, it's not going to change for the better. My advice is to see a "sex-positive" marriage counselor (as a couple) or as an individual (at least initially) seek out a therapist who specializes in sexuality issues a/k/a "a sex therapist". Preferably seek out a female sex therapist, they tend to be less threatening and judgmental to women. Let your wife and the therapist know that you are committed to the marriage and that you don't plan on abandoning your wife or family (assuming that this is the case). It'll be tough and there'll be some new ground rules and it will take time. It's a long road but as a small handful of us know, it can work and it can work well for all parties. Good luck.
You're a lucky man..and you obviously have a great relationship with your wife ..and you're smart for setting up ground rules.
...but for everyone one of you...there's ten marrried guys who see escorts (without their wives knowing)..then insist on having them cum on them or in their mouths..or rimming the girl and blowing her without a condom ..then go home and kiss their wives and kids. Sometimes it starts off light..but then the thrill wears off and it gets riskier.
Distance
10-25-2009, 02:14 AM
Cheating is cheating.
Do not follow those here who are happy, yet ego centred liars, and so far get away with it -one day it will cut through them sharply. No point going too much into morals, although the more it goes on, the heavier the guilt and weight on you. 3 kids and a wife, that is a solid lifetime investment. Are you ready to lose them for a prostitute? If it was for a ts with a healthy lifestyle, I could understand...but you are doing that and getting back to your wife?
See a therapist. You should. You should feel blessed she has not left you and still tries to understand you. Maybe your sex life has gotten a bit dull? Talk about it with her. Don't be selfish...think about these 4 lives too...and don't hurt yourself. I wish you the very best. :)
anonymoussonny
11-01-2009, 10:18 PM
Dude. You are married. Cheating with a tgirl, a GG, or a man is all the same thing. It's cheating. If you value your marriage and REALLY love your kids you will suck it up like the rest of us. Just cruise the porn sites and spank the monkey when you need to.... You can't get HIV or the Crabs from porn.
If you are going to cheat then do the honorable and divorce her before you do it.
Here, Here!!!!
Baron Of Hell
11-02-2009, 12:16 AM
Every time you cheat on your wife you are putting her life in danger and endangering your kids future. I'm all for open and honest relationships and believe they can work. The problem is you lied. You didn't give your wife a choice. You thought only of yourself and not of your children. If you can not control yourself you should end this relationships before you screw up the lives of everyone around you even more so than you already done.
OK, so I'm new to this site but I don't have anyone to talk to about this so I figured what the hell.
I'm 32, married with 3 kids. I love being a father and husband, love my family and wife. But I get very turned on by T-girls. Shemale porn turns me on like nothing else...I get fucking hard as hell watching it.
I've had a few experiences with T-girls and LOVED it....felt ashamed and horrible about myself afterward because I'm married, but I cant help but have these feelings.
So whats a guy like me to do? Be a good boy and stop looking at porn and acting out on my fantasies? Or follow my feelings? Is there anything inbetween??
Looking forward to the discussion...
I only read a couple of pages of this topic, but it seems like you are very selfish. You are married and have children, but yet you still want to creep around and have sex with tgirls. That's not cool at all. I can understand looking at porn, because everyone looks at porn. It's natural, but when you cheat, you are not only hurting yourself, but your family as well. You say you already told your wife and she freaked out. Well shouldn't that give you any indictation that she doesn't like it. I mean come on dude, be realistic. Do you want to jeopardize your marriage and family over an hour of sex with a t-girl. The best thing to do if you just want to have sex with a t-girl is to divorce your wife and just be single. It seems that you care a lot about fucking TS than you do your family.
AmericanDream
11-02-2009, 01:38 AM
How would you feel if a co-worker said he liked fucking your wife? You should know what to do now
tsntx
11-02-2009, 02:29 AM
y is this shit so hard for u guys to understand
you got married = you dont sleep w/ other ppl
just bc the person u wanna sleep w/ has a cock doesnt make it ok or mean it doesnt apply to the
"be true to each other" line in your wedding vowels
personally idc what u do... youre not my husband.... but asking stupid questions deserve ridicule
tsntx
11-02-2009, 02:31 AM
Every time you cheat on your wife you are putting her life in danger and endangering your kids future. I'm all for open and honest relationships and believe they can work. The problem is you lied. You didn't give your wife a choice. You thought only of yourself and not of your children. If you can not control yourself you should end this relationships before you screw up the lives of everyone around you even more so than you already done.
:idea: exactly
Silcc69
11-02-2009, 02:35 AM
Every time you cheat on your wife you are putting her life in danger and endangering your kids future. I'm all for open and honest relationships and believe they can work. The problem is you lied. You didn't give your wife a choice. You thought only of yourself and not of your children. If you can not control yourself you should end this relationships before you screw up the lives of everyone around you even more so than you already done.
Hello child support.
phobun
11-02-2009, 03:28 AM
just bc the person u wanna sleep w/ has a cock doesnt make it ok
But the fact the cock is hidden under a skirt means he is not gay.
Jericho
11-02-2009, 07:03 AM
Is there anything inbetween??
Masturbation.
I'm sure a few of the paragons of virtue around here will give you some pointers.
El Nino
11-02-2009, 07:06 AM
MT
guyfromdakota
01-15-2011, 08:48 PM
y is this shit so hard for u guys to understand
you got married = you dont sleep w/ other ppl
just bc the person u wanna sleep w/ has a cock doesnt make it ok or mean it doesnt apply to the
"be true to each other" line in your wedding vowels
personally idc what u do... youre not my husband.... but asking stupid questions deserve ridicule
And I bet youve slept with over a thousand married men escorting too!
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