MrsKellyPierce
09-09-2009, 07:46 AM
Do not look at Kelly Shore as just a transsexual porn model. She is more than that. Don't think that Kelly Shore is just a blonde porn star with an incredible body. Her mind is even more amazing. Actually, when you look at Kelly Shore it is hard to pinpoint how to categorize her. She is educated, sweet, not the party girl type, and lives a normal life. And now that she is breaking the stereotypes of what a typical transsexual porn star should be, Kelly Shore is not the next big diva starlet like Vaniity or Gia Darling. She is the first Kelly Shore, that is down to earth and does her job professionally and leaves her job at home. She is the girl you could date. In this interview with T Voice's Brea Monet, Kelly Shore discusses deflecting criticism from the traditional mainstream views about her choice of work, provides a brief clinic on what it is to be a transsexual woman and what it is like to date as one. As many know she was in a long term relationship and the rumor mill has grown rampant on if they are still together. You will have to read in the article to find out more!
By: Brea Monet
Brea Monet: You are pretty well known for your bondage on Kink but you also have crossed over to do what we would call “mainstream porn” working for companies like Devil Films and Evil Angel etc when you began working with females. What came first and do you have a preference as to what type of porn you like to perform exclusively?
Kelly Shore: The bondage definitely came first. I was looking around at sites and their photography and videography, and I was impressed by Kink. They showed us in a beautiful way, which I didn't see anywhere else. Most websites it was just about the cock, and it took me awhile to decide if I wanted to pursue a career in porn. I valued myself as a 'good girl' and fought with the demons of I shouldn't do it. I finally sent my pictures into Kink, and they contacted me offering a big pay check and a flight out, so I took it. It was my first ever porn scene. I did it to pay for transitioning purposes, as soon as I heard what it could offer I took the initiative and dedicated myself to the work. I did some girl/guy porn for the DVD Transsexual Babysitters 8 that I was on the cover of in 2008. I didn't realize that was considered 'mainstream' and still don't. I don't really keep up with the politics of porn. I worry more about viewof my fans, not what a paper or political standing writes me off as. Doing porn though meant a lot more traveling to different cities. With transsexual porn it is much more spread out because it is more a niche. It is a lot of traveling to London, Brazil, New York, San Francisco, Las Vegas and of course LA. It was a lot of traveling constantly, since I stayed in my home area in Illinois. It was fun at first, but I am so glad now my photographer for my website is in my home area, meaning less travel! To answer the question though, I prefer the mainstream. I don't really like abusing people. It is fun sometimes, but I much rather do the mainstream.
Brea Monet: You made mention that you started out doing bondage and BDSM modeling at first to break into the adult industry. That's not something someone without any outside experience just jumps right into without knowing a little bit about it. How did you get to that point?
Kelly Shore: I've always been very kinky and open-minded. I've always been more aggressive in my sexuality, many know I just do top work in the industry. I choose to do that, because I save that side for the man I am in a relationship with at the time. I think he needs to know that there is one part of me that a million others can't have or view. From the very first time I started having sex I was very much into having sex in public actually or watching. I was definitely an exhibitionist, with a little bit of voyeurism in there. I liked video taping my partners and me or just myself. I enjoyed really rough sex. I enjoyed experimenting with different things like threesomes, role play, spanking and some light bondage. I had never tried any tighter extreme bondage or whips until I started modeling. When I saw the posting that kink was looking for models for tsseduction, I went in and absolutely fell in love with the surroundings. They made me feel comfortable, trained me, and treated me with respect. And even though I was new to it. I just got better at it as time went on. I gave the boys the fantasy they were looking for basically. I am an entertainer, we are there to give fantasy. I would read fan's reviews, their advice, and what they wanted to see. I took that into thought and went with it. We as pornstars have to pay attention to the reviews too, but not just from critics our fans!
Brea Monet: Who were your influences in porn if any?
Kelly Shore: Oh Gosh, I used to watch so many Jenna Jameson pornos. I loved how she was dominate, but still feminine and sexy. I loved how she interacted with the camera and gave it her all. But before I decided to do transsexual porn I watched a few big name girls like Danielle Foxx who is an amazing performer. I studied her and I thought she was amazing. I watched of course the Queen of porn Vaniity, she is a lot like Jenna dominate but sexy. Thats what I wanted when I did porn. I wanted to be more interactive with the viewer. I wanted them to feel like I was fantasizing about them watching me, because it is a turn on for me to be watched. I enjoy talking dirty to the camera, and being a slut in front of the camera. And if I was going to do porn I wanted to be sure I was always at the top of my game. I remember doing four top scenes in a day, and cumming for every one of them. I started off strong in the industry, which I think is important. You need to get your face out there yourself in the beginning at every chance you get. Once you have fans and support you can work more moderately, but still be sure to give your all to the fans you have made. I am not saying you slack off after. But yes those three women were probably who I took as influences in the industry. I always try to make sure I am feminine during my scenes, though I think my feminine nature comes natural to me. I think there is a lot of discrimination against guys that bottom and girls that top, but I think you can be just as every bit of feminine acting as a girl that bottoms. It's how you do it, and how your presence is on film. That to me is the key. There a plenty of pornos out there where women fuck men with strap-ons so we aren't the only ones fucking ass!
Brea Monet: Speaking of your femininity, when did you first realize you were a girl? When did you begin your transition?
Kelly Shore: I didn't know I wasn't a girl till I was age 6 honestly, but I don't really think I differentiated between boy or girl either at the time. I found out I was different though, when my mother was giving me a bath with my niece, and I noticed she had something different from me. I was so disappointed even then. [laughs] I thought I was robbed. For many years after age six I fought with being different, I hated it. Most of my friends were female, and one day they decided to dress me up when I was age twelve as a girl, and I just never went back after that. I called my mother to tell her, and she didn't seem at all surprised. She said either you want to be a female or you are gay, and I hope you want to be a girl. She told me to come home and I just started living as a girl after that. Many feel that you don't start your transition till you take your first hormone pill/shot, but I think there is more to being a woman than pills/shots and surgeries. You have to feel it inside first. I knew I was always different, I knew I was always meant to be a woman. That is what I have held on dear to as far as woman-hood goes. I didn't start hormones till I was sixteen, because my mother didn't feel hormone usage was safe till then. I ended up with small hormone titties. So tragic! [laughs]
Brea Monet: What size are you at now?
Kelly Shore: I was a 34 D, but since I have been on Dr. Odea hormones, I have a lot of natural breast growth on top of the implant. So I am a little larger than that now. I believe in Dr. Odea hormones, he is amazing. He does the pellets and pink panther shots. I believe they really work. I think if any girl has a chance to be with him for at least a year they should take the chance to do so.
Brea Monet: You were supported by your parents that stands clear, but how do you think you are supported by others?
Kelly Shore: I live a pretty quiet life. I really have not had the issue of being 'clocked' in the public eye. About the only time I do get clocked is if I am clocked for the Kelly Shore image. But I have never had anyone yell that's a man or anything crazy like that, thats why I got into activist work. I felt I lived a pretty blessed life growing up, and I wanted to give back to girls that didn't have the same opportunity. It saddened me to hear about all the tough experiences they had in their process. I don't know how those brave women dealt with all the discrimination they went though, but they did, survived and that is what is important! I admire those women.
Brea Monet: How do you think men view you?
Kelly Shore: [laugh] I think most men see me as a fantasy, but I though that way before the porn. I think men in general see transsexual women as a fantasy. Which is okay in my book, as long as you are honest about it to the trans-woman you encounter or speak to. We would respect you more. I think there a select few men that will date a transsexual eagerly, honestly, and openly. It takes a rare breed, and dedication. Many men utilize the transsexual woman as an outlet for something different sexually. They marry women, because that's what society sees fit, they can have kids, and they don't have half the issues a trans woman encounters with transition costs, discrimination that comes into play, and more. It would take a man that knows who he is, and someone that loves that trans-women with his every being to dedicate himself to a relationship with her. Whether passable or not. Trust me I get many offers a day declaring their love to me, but that love is artificial. They are in love with what they see in films and pictures, and what they think they know. They most likely have never dated a transsexual before or even know what it entails to date one. I am not saying we are all alike, because like women we all have our differences. We have the easy going ones, the princesses, the royal bitch, the nerd, the picky one, the crazy one, the stalker, and more. We are a diverse breed, and we are all women at the end of the day in our minds. So that is the first step is a man to realize that we are women, not just a "special chick", chicks with a dick, shemale, and so on. They must differentiate us from the porn world and what society views us, and come up with their own view with out pre-judgment. They must be ready to date us in public and not just at home. They must be ready to commit to us as our boyfriend. And I don't find many eligible men that are attractive wanting to take all that on, because they can easily get a girlfriend with out all the issues that we bring to the relationship starting out. That is the reality. Being a transsexual to me is in a way a burdeon you have to carry, because even though your friends and family may finally accept you as a woman, you still have to deal with societies views. You still have to deal with explaining to uneducated people. You still get judged more so before hand, because of the fact you are a transsexual. They rarely take the time to know you and who you are in your heart. So, this is why I think men view me as well as other transsexuals as a fantasy, which is okay, because these are the men that sign up for our websites, come to our parties, rent out girls that escort, and pay the bills. That was a mouthful! [laughs]
Brea Monet: How many relationships have you been in? Do you think these men held the qualities that you speak of in your mind?
Kelly Shore: I have had about seven serious LTR. I feel most of them thought they possessed these qualities, and by that I mean they really wanted to be that guy. And thats half the battle there, if the guy wants to be there he'll be there. If he doesn't he'll move on or use you till he finds something else. I believe all of them gave a real try at it. And almost all of them are now married or in serious relationships with a genetic female. For almost all of them, I was the only transsexual they dated long term. I believe all these men are wonderful men, I have nothing bad to say. I can only say they tried, they loved me and gave me all they could. They gave me their best, but eventually it had to end. Probably why I hold out such hope that one day I'll find that special guy for me, because I think I'm a pretty awesome girlfriend! [laughs]
Brea Monet: Aren't you in a serious relationship now? That is why you have taken to doing only solo work on your site?
Kelly Shore: I knew that was coming! I am not sure what we are anymore. I know that we both care about one another, and we still talk. Presently we are both single, by his choice. I am not sure what I am feeling at the moment. Which is why I was unsure to give this interview. I knew the topic would come up, but I guess venting it out will help in the end. I am not currently going on dates, or accepting date offers. I fell in love with this one, and this is what has made it hard. I don't want to go on record saying I never felt anything for my ex's, but I believe this one is the only one I ever truly loved with my whole heart. I dedicated so much of myself to the relationship, which is something I don't at all regret. I think a relationship to be good, and for you to feel love, you have to let down your walls, and just fall down the rabbit hole till it ends. I still love him, and real feelings like that aren't gone in a day or a few weeks. It wouldn't be fair to say I moved on when I haven't. It wouldn't be fair to date another guy and still have the feelings I have for my ex. Lastly I am not sure if either of us are totally done with the relationship all together, not that I am holding out hope like a high school girl, but there is still talk and genuine caring of each other between us. And you don't just give up on something like that so easy. He knows all of me, and not many people know that side of me. I hope that answers your question, however confusing it may seem. I will say this though strength wise, I am more secure and sound of mind than I have been in years. This relationship in itself was a bit therapeutic. It made me face demons I was trying to hide from, he forced me to face it head on. The relationship made me share myself with another person again. It at the end of the day is a blessing as well as misery for the loss of what we had.
Brea Monet: Thanks for sharing such a personal side of you. You have done that through your whole career. Why have you chosen to do this?
Kelly Shore: One of my worse traits..PRIDE. You know you should probably vent this stuff to your best friend, lover, family, and what not. But I always try to portray the happy, fun-loving girl. So it's hard for me to ask for help or to show that side of me. I used to tell my mother everything, she was my confidant, best friend, and so much more. But after she was taken from cancer when I was in high school, I had to grow up fast. Being strong came natural to me. I was strong for my father and siblings. So I guess it was always easier for me to tell someone online that had no clue who I was or what I am about my problems. I know that may kind of sound like the dumbest thing, but I didn't care if they judged me. I was scared to tell my friends and family, because I thought they would see me weak and judge me. I know sounds crazy huh? [Laughs] But it's kind of like a diary that writes back. It just helped me get my feelings out and then I could move on from it. So I guess online blogging, chatting, forums, and what not were also some kind of therapy for me. Plus at least my fans know I am not hiding anything from them! [laughs]
Brea Monet: Do you think the ex gave this to you?
Kelly Shore: My, my, my we are getting personal aren't we? Yes, in ways. He forced me on things, which is probably what I needed. No, not probably I did need. He challenged me to tell him all as much as I tried to deflect him. I cried to that man I have never did that with a boyfriend. I would never show that weak state, I always thought if they did they would squash you like bug! [laughs] In previous relationships I gave what I allowed, not what they wanted. There was nothing to be hurt by with doing it that way.
Brea Monet: If you and the ex don't rekindle what you had, what would totally single Kelly look for in a man. Meaning once you are ready to date again?
Kelly Shore: Why, are you going to pull him out of a magic wig or something? [laughs] I have always been a picky girl on boyfriends, and it's probably why I have had some pretty great relationships, rather than bad ones. So here it goes. First and foremost honesty must be at the top of the list. Loyalty to me! Meaning he better stand by me! I like a man that is a man, meaning he likes being in charge. I don't want to be the boss of the relationship, or made out to be the bitch. So a boy with a backbone! Someone that can make me laugh, teach me new things, great at conversation. Someone I can lay around with and not be bored. A dancer, I have to have a guy that likes to go out and dance. I took twelve years, I don't care if you aren't the best dancer, but as long as you enjoy shaking your ass on the dance floor that's all that matters to me! I am not too concerned on if they have a kid, were married before, or dated other transsexuals. I think the past is the past, and that being said my past should be stuck in the past too. If you can't date me, because of my past then don't! I am openly bisexual, so I would prefer if he was okay bringing a female into the bedroom every once in awhile, though if they just wanted a committed relationship, I could do that too. But I do prefer the bringing people in the bedroom, once we have established our love and relationship together! Like I said I am a kinky girl! I do prefer men 5'10 or above. I am not into shorter guys sorry. I definitely like handsome! I prefer dark hair, usually brown/blue eyes, and a very modelesque look. Modelesque to me doesn't mean body builder, but somewhat in shape! I do like the pretty boy and make no qualms about it. A man that is self assured, knows who he is and where he is going, down to earth, but cocky at the same time. Someone I can bring home to my dad! He must be intellectual, mature, and be able to date a porn performer. Meaning if I get recognized in public, not freak out! That's about it.
Brea Monet: That all? Damn, and I left my magic wig at home on the mannequin head.
If you could change anything about your life would you?
Kelly Shore: My mothers loss, I probably wouldn't of had to go down the road I have gone down to get the enhancements I have had. I really don't want to go into detail on this.
Brea Monet: First job?
Kelly Shore: Candy Striper
Brea Monet: First concert?
Kelly Shore: Madonna
Brea Monet: First car?
Kelly Shore: silver Hyundai accent brand new
Brea Monet: What’s in your CD player right now?
Kelly Shore: Whitney Houston's new cd
Brea Monet: Favorite food?
Kelly Shore: Avocado and mango sushi
Brea Monet: First porn you ever watched?
Kelly Shore: I dream of Jenna.
Brea Monet: Favorite position?
Kelly Shore: Bottoming, being on top. Topping Doggy
Brea Monet: Go to the movies or go to the ballgame?
Kelly Shore: the movies.
Brea Monet: What modern convenience can you not live without?
Kelly Shore: I would say my laptop computer.
Brea Monet: Favorite mainstream movie?
Kelly Shore: Steel Magnolias or Pretty Woman
Brea Monet: Favorite vacation spot?
Kelly Shore: Puerto Vallarta
Brea Monet: Person you’d like to meet that you have not met?
Kelly Shore: Hilary Clinton
Brea Monet: Place you want to visit but haven’t yet?
Kelly Shore: Oh, there are so many. When you go some place for work it is a little bit different. Although I would go through all these different countries I wouldn't necessarily be able to explore them. I really want to go to Japan.
By: Brea Monet
Brea Monet: You are pretty well known for your bondage on Kink but you also have crossed over to do what we would call “mainstream porn” working for companies like Devil Films and Evil Angel etc when you began working with females. What came first and do you have a preference as to what type of porn you like to perform exclusively?
Kelly Shore: The bondage definitely came first. I was looking around at sites and their photography and videography, and I was impressed by Kink. They showed us in a beautiful way, which I didn't see anywhere else. Most websites it was just about the cock, and it took me awhile to decide if I wanted to pursue a career in porn. I valued myself as a 'good girl' and fought with the demons of I shouldn't do it. I finally sent my pictures into Kink, and they contacted me offering a big pay check and a flight out, so I took it. It was my first ever porn scene. I did it to pay for transitioning purposes, as soon as I heard what it could offer I took the initiative and dedicated myself to the work. I did some girl/guy porn for the DVD Transsexual Babysitters 8 that I was on the cover of in 2008. I didn't realize that was considered 'mainstream' and still don't. I don't really keep up with the politics of porn. I worry more about viewof my fans, not what a paper or political standing writes me off as. Doing porn though meant a lot more traveling to different cities. With transsexual porn it is much more spread out because it is more a niche. It is a lot of traveling to London, Brazil, New York, San Francisco, Las Vegas and of course LA. It was a lot of traveling constantly, since I stayed in my home area in Illinois. It was fun at first, but I am so glad now my photographer for my website is in my home area, meaning less travel! To answer the question though, I prefer the mainstream. I don't really like abusing people. It is fun sometimes, but I much rather do the mainstream.
Brea Monet: You made mention that you started out doing bondage and BDSM modeling at first to break into the adult industry. That's not something someone without any outside experience just jumps right into without knowing a little bit about it. How did you get to that point?
Kelly Shore: I've always been very kinky and open-minded. I've always been more aggressive in my sexuality, many know I just do top work in the industry. I choose to do that, because I save that side for the man I am in a relationship with at the time. I think he needs to know that there is one part of me that a million others can't have or view. From the very first time I started having sex I was very much into having sex in public actually or watching. I was definitely an exhibitionist, with a little bit of voyeurism in there. I liked video taping my partners and me or just myself. I enjoyed really rough sex. I enjoyed experimenting with different things like threesomes, role play, spanking and some light bondage. I had never tried any tighter extreme bondage or whips until I started modeling. When I saw the posting that kink was looking for models for tsseduction, I went in and absolutely fell in love with the surroundings. They made me feel comfortable, trained me, and treated me with respect. And even though I was new to it. I just got better at it as time went on. I gave the boys the fantasy they were looking for basically. I am an entertainer, we are there to give fantasy. I would read fan's reviews, their advice, and what they wanted to see. I took that into thought and went with it. We as pornstars have to pay attention to the reviews too, but not just from critics our fans!
Brea Monet: Who were your influences in porn if any?
Kelly Shore: Oh Gosh, I used to watch so many Jenna Jameson pornos. I loved how she was dominate, but still feminine and sexy. I loved how she interacted with the camera and gave it her all. But before I decided to do transsexual porn I watched a few big name girls like Danielle Foxx who is an amazing performer. I studied her and I thought she was amazing. I watched of course the Queen of porn Vaniity, she is a lot like Jenna dominate but sexy. Thats what I wanted when I did porn. I wanted to be more interactive with the viewer. I wanted them to feel like I was fantasizing about them watching me, because it is a turn on for me to be watched. I enjoy talking dirty to the camera, and being a slut in front of the camera. And if I was going to do porn I wanted to be sure I was always at the top of my game. I remember doing four top scenes in a day, and cumming for every one of them. I started off strong in the industry, which I think is important. You need to get your face out there yourself in the beginning at every chance you get. Once you have fans and support you can work more moderately, but still be sure to give your all to the fans you have made. I am not saying you slack off after. But yes those three women were probably who I took as influences in the industry. I always try to make sure I am feminine during my scenes, though I think my feminine nature comes natural to me. I think there is a lot of discrimination against guys that bottom and girls that top, but I think you can be just as every bit of feminine acting as a girl that bottoms. It's how you do it, and how your presence is on film. That to me is the key. There a plenty of pornos out there where women fuck men with strap-ons so we aren't the only ones fucking ass!
Brea Monet: Speaking of your femininity, when did you first realize you were a girl? When did you begin your transition?
Kelly Shore: I didn't know I wasn't a girl till I was age 6 honestly, but I don't really think I differentiated between boy or girl either at the time. I found out I was different though, when my mother was giving me a bath with my niece, and I noticed she had something different from me. I was so disappointed even then. [laughs] I thought I was robbed. For many years after age six I fought with being different, I hated it. Most of my friends were female, and one day they decided to dress me up when I was age twelve as a girl, and I just never went back after that. I called my mother to tell her, and she didn't seem at all surprised. She said either you want to be a female or you are gay, and I hope you want to be a girl. She told me to come home and I just started living as a girl after that. Many feel that you don't start your transition till you take your first hormone pill/shot, but I think there is more to being a woman than pills/shots and surgeries. You have to feel it inside first. I knew I was always different, I knew I was always meant to be a woman. That is what I have held on dear to as far as woman-hood goes. I didn't start hormones till I was sixteen, because my mother didn't feel hormone usage was safe till then. I ended up with small hormone titties. So tragic! [laughs]
Brea Monet: What size are you at now?
Kelly Shore: I was a 34 D, but since I have been on Dr. Odea hormones, I have a lot of natural breast growth on top of the implant. So I am a little larger than that now. I believe in Dr. Odea hormones, he is amazing. He does the pellets and pink panther shots. I believe they really work. I think if any girl has a chance to be with him for at least a year they should take the chance to do so.
Brea Monet: You were supported by your parents that stands clear, but how do you think you are supported by others?
Kelly Shore: I live a pretty quiet life. I really have not had the issue of being 'clocked' in the public eye. About the only time I do get clocked is if I am clocked for the Kelly Shore image. But I have never had anyone yell that's a man or anything crazy like that, thats why I got into activist work. I felt I lived a pretty blessed life growing up, and I wanted to give back to girls that didn't have the same opportunity. It saddened me to hear about all the tough experiences they had in their process. I don't know how those brave women dealt with all the discrimination they went though, but they did, survived and that is what is important! I admire those women.
Brea Monet: How do you think men view you?
Kelly Shore: [laugh] I think most men see me as a fantasy, but I though that way before the porn. I think men in general see transsexual women as a fantasy. Which is okay in my book, as long as you are honest about it to the trans-woman you encounter or speak to. We would respect you more. I think there a select few men that will date a transsexual eagerly, honestly, and openly. It takes a rare breed, and dedication. Many men utilize the transsexual woman as an outlet for something different sexually. They marry women, because that's what society sees fit, they can have kids, and they don't have half the issues a trans woman encounters with transition costs, discrimination that comes into play, and more. It would take a man that knows who he is, and someone that loves that trans-women with his every being to dedicate himself to a relationship with her. Whether passable or not. Trust me I get many offers a day declaring their love to me, but that love is artificial. They are in love with what they see in films and pictures, and what they think they know. They most likely have never dated a transsexual before or even know what it entails to date one. I am not saying we are all alike, because like women we all have our differences. We have the easy going ones, the princesses, the royal bitch, the nerd, the picky one, the crazy one, the stalker, and more. We are a diverse breed, and we are all women at the end of the day in our minds. So that is the first step is a man to realize that we are women, not just a "special chick", chicks with a dick, shemale, and so on. They must differentiate us from the porn world and what society views us, and come up with their own view with out pre-judgment. They must be ready to date us in public and not just at home. They must be ready to commit to us as our boyfriend. And I don't find many eligible men that are attractive wanting to take all that on, because they can easily get a girlfriend with out all the issues that we bring to the relationship starting out. That is the reality. Being a transsexual to me is in a way a burdeon you have to carry, because even though your friends and family may finally accept you as a woman, you still have to deal with societies views. You still have to deal with explaining to uneducated people. You still get judged more so before hand, because of the fact you are a transsexual. They rarely take the time to know you and who you are in your heart. So, this is why I think men view me as well as other transsexuals as a fantasy, which is okay, because these are the men that sign up for our websites, come to our parties, rent out girls that escort, and pay the bills. That was a mouthful! [laughs]
Brea Monet: How many relationships have you been in? Do you think these men held the qualities that you speak of in your mind?
Kelly Shore: I have had about seven serious LTR. I feel most of them thought they possessed these qualities, and by that I mean they really wanted to be that guy. And thats half the battle there, if the guy wants to be there he'll be there. If he doesn't he'll move on or use you till he finds something else. I believe all of them gave a real try at it. And almost all of them are now married or in serious relationships with a genetic female. For almost all of them, I was the only transsexual they dated long term. I believe all these men are wonderful men, I have nothing bad to say. I can only say they tried, they loved me and gave me all they could. They gave me their best, but eventually it had to end. Probably why I hold out such hope that one day I'll find that special guy for me, because I think I'm a pretty awesome girlfriend! [laughs]
Brea Monet: Aren't you in a serious relationship now? That is why you have taken to doing only solo work on your site?
Kelly Shore: I knew that was coming! I am not sure what we are anymore. I know that we both care about one another, and we still talk. Presently we are both single, by his choice. I am not sure what I am feeling at the moment. Which is why I was unsure to give this interview. I knew the topic would come up, but I guess venting it out will help in the end. I am not currently going on dates, or accepting date offers. I fell in love with this one, and this is what has made it hard. I don't want to go on record saying I never felt anything for my ex's, but I believe this one is the only one I ever truly loved with my whole heart. I dedicated so much of myself to the relationship, which is something I don't at all regret. I think a relationship to be good, and for you to feel love, you have to let down your walls, and just fall down the rabbit hole till it ends. I still love him, and real feelings like that aren't gone in a day or a few weeks. It wouldn't be fair to say I moved on when I haven't. It wouldn't be fair to date another guy and still have the feelings I have for my ex. Lastly I am not sure if either of us are totally done with the relationship all together, not that I am holding out hope like a high school girl, but there is still talk and genuine caring of each other between us. And you don't just give up on something like that so easy. He knows all of me, and not many people know that side of me. I hope that answers your question, however confusing it may seem. I will say this though strength wise, I am more secure and sound of mind than I have been in years. This relationship in itself was a bit therapeutic. It made me face demons I was trying to hide from, he forced me to face it head on. The relationship made me share myself with another person again. It at the end of the day is a blessing as well as misery for the loss of what we had.
Brea Monet: Thanks for sharing such a personal side of you. You have done that through your whole career. Why have you chosen to do this?
Kelly Shore: One of my worse traits..PRIDE. You know you should probably vent this stuff to your best friend, lover, family, and what not. But I always try to portray the happy, fun-loving girl. So it's hard for me to ask for help or to show that side of me. I used to tell my mother everything, she was my confidant, best friend, and so much more. But after she was taken from cancer when I was in high school, I had to grow up fast. Being strong came natural to me. I was strong for my father and siblings. So I guess it was always easier for me to tell someone online that had no clue who I was or what I am about my problems. I know that may kind of sound like the dumbest thing, but I didn't care if they judged me. I was scared to tell my friends and family, because I thought they would see me weak and judge me. I know sounds crazy huh? [Laughs] But it's kind of like a diary that writes back. It just helped me get my feelings out and then I could move on from it. So I guess online blogging, chatting, forums, and what not were also some kind of therapy for me. Plus at least my fans know I am not hiding anything from them! [laughs]
Brea Monet: Do you think the ex gave this to you?
Kelly Shore: My, my, my we are getting personal aren't we? Yes, in ways. He forced me on things, which is probably what I needed. No, not probably I did need. He challenged me to tell him all as much as I tried to deflect him. I cried to that man I have never did that with a boyfriend. I would never show that weak state, I always thought if they did they would squash you like bug! [laughs] In previous relationships I gave what I allowed, not what they wanted. There was nothing to be hurt by with doing it that way.
Brea Monet: If you and the ex don't rekindle what you had, what would totally single Kelly look for in a man. Meaning once you are ready to date again?
Kelly Shore: Why, are you going to pull him out of a magic wig or something? [laughs] I have always been a picky girl on boyfriends, and it's probably why I have had some pretty great relationships, rather than bad ones. So here it goes. First and foremost honesty must be at the top of the list. Loyalty to me! Meaning he better stand by me! I like a man that is a man, meaning he likes being in charge. I don't want to be the boss of the relationship, or made out to be the bitch. So a boy with a backbone! Someone that can make me laugh, teach me new things, great at conversation. Someone I can lay around with and not be bored. A dancer, I have to have a guy that likes to go out and dance. I took twelve years, I don't care if you aren't the best dancer, but as long as you enjoy shaking your ass on the dance floor that's all that matters to me! I am not too concerned on if they have a kid, were married before, or dated other transsexuals. I think the past is the past, and that being said my past should be stuck in the past too. If you can't date me, because of my past then don't! I am openly bisexual, so I would prefer if he was okay bringing a female into the bedroom every once in awhile, though if they just wanted a committed relationship, I could do that too. But I do prefer the bringing people in the bedroom, once we have established our love and relationship together! Like I said I am a kinky girl! I do prefer men 5'10 or above. I am not into shorter guys sorry. I definitely like handsome! I prefer dark hair, usually brown/blue eyes, and a very modelesque look. Modelesque to me doesn't mean body builder, but somewhat in shape! I do like the pretty boy and make no qualms about it. A man that is self assured, knows who he is and where he is going, down to earth, but cocky at the same time. Someone I can bring home to my dad! He must be intellectual, mature, and be able to date a porn performer. Meaning if I get recognized in public, not freak out! That's about it.
Brea Monet: That all? Damn, and I left my magic wig at home on the mannequin head.
If you could change anything about your life would you?
Kelly Shore: My mothers loss, I probably wouldn't of had to go down the road I have gone down to get the enhancements I have had. I really don't want to go into detail on this.
Brea Monet: First job?
Kelly Shore: Candy Striper
Brea Monet: First concert?
Kelly Shore: Madonna
Brea Monet: First car?
Kelly Shore: silver Hyundai accent brand new
Brea Monet: What’s in your CD player right now?
Kelly Shore: Whitney Houston's new cd
Brea Monet: Favorite food?
Kelly Shore: Avocado and mango sushi
Brea Monet: First porn you ever watched?
Kelly Shore: I dream of Jenna.
Brea Monet: Favorite position?
Kelly Shore: Bottoming, being on top. Topping Doggy
Brea Monet: Go to the movies or go to the ballgame?
Kelly Shore: the movies.
Brea Monet: What modern convenience can you not live without?
Kelly Shore: I would say my laptop computer.
Brea Monet: Favorite mainstream movie?
Kelly Shore: Steel Magnolias or Pretty Woman
Brea Monet: Favorite vacation spot?
Kelly Shore: Puerto Vallarta
Brea Monet: Person you’d like to meet that you have not met?
Kelly Shore: Hilary Clinton
Brea Monet: Place you want to visit but haven’t yet?
Kelly Shore: Oh, there are so many. When you go some place for work it is a little bit different. Although I would go through all these different countries I wouldn't necessarily be able to explore them. I really want to go to Japan.