gaiseric
07-16-2009, 10:32 PM
I have just had some news that caught me by surprise and I figured that if I shared it with you guys and gals, it would make it easier for me to deal with.
My father is 89 and suffers from lung and bone cancer. He collapsed at home on Monday evening and was rushed to hospital. I was under the impression he would be out by the weekend. Tonight I get a phone call from my step mother saying that the hospital were going to stop feeding him, he hadn't recognised her today and the cancer nurses reckoned he had 24 - 48 hours tops.
I decided not to go to the hospital mainly because if he didn't recognise my step mother, he wouldn't know me and I would rather not see him in that state. I want to remember him as he was. I have had a few people saying that if I don't go I will regret it for ever but at the moment, for a variety of reasons, I am feeling absolutely emotionless and I know that I won't regret this decision.
I accepted that he didn't have that long some time ago, but the thing that really grips me is that I wasn't told he was so ill. This is mainly because my parents were fanatical Jehovah's Witnesses and I'm not. Therefore they never called me, visited or had any contact unless they had to and this has even included the latter stages of my father's illness. He had been in hospital over 1 day before I found out. :evil:
Unfortunately it is this part of the saga that could cause me the problems, and not my father's impending death (probably won't last the weekend). That is why I have put it on here for others to read and comment if they feel so inclined. I can then use the comments to help get it all out of my system and prevent it screwing me up too much.
Sorry for being longwinded but it's not the easiest thing to write. 8)
My father is 89 and suffers from lung and bone cancer. He collapsed at home on Monday evening and was rushed to hospital. I was under the impression he would be out by the weekend. Tonight I get a phone call from my step mother saying that the hospital were going to stop feeding him, he hadn't recognised her today and the cancer nurses reckoned he had 24 - 48 hours tops.
I decided not to go to the hospital mainly because if he didn't recognise my step mother, he wouldn't know me and I would rather not see him in that state. I want to remember him as he was. I have had a few people saying that if I don't go I will regret it for ever but at the moment, for a variety of reasons, I am feeling absolutely emotionless and I know that I won't regret this decision.
I accepted that he didn't have that long some time ago, but the thing that really grips me is that I wasn't told he was so ill. This is mainly because my parents were fanatical Jehovah's Witnesses and I'm not. Therefore they never called me, visited or had any contact unless they had to and this has even included the latter stages of my father's illness. He had been in hospital over 1 day before I found out. :evil:
Unfortunately it is this part of the saga that could cause me the problems, and not my father's impending death (probably won't last the weekend). That is why I have put it on here for others to read and comment if they feel so inclined. I can then use the comments to help get it all out of my system and prevent it screwing me up too much.
Sorry for being longwinded but it's not the easiest thing to write. 8)