View Full Version : "Confucius say..."
Snoriega27
04-03-2009, 03:13 AM
If anyone knows any "Confucius say..." jokes, post them here - whether it's original, or you heard/read it elsewhere.
I'll get the ball rolling with one of my all-time favorites:
"Confucius say man with hole in pants pocket feel cocky all day." :lol:
Next?
Jericho
04-03-2009, 03:28 AM
Confucius say, Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.
fred41
04-03-2009, 03:35 AM
This is corny .but it's the only one I remember:
Confucius say-"He who farts in church..sits in his own pew."
JamesHunt
04-03-2009, 03:46 AM
Confucius say...
Man standing on toilet is high on pot.
Snoriega27
04-03-2009, 04:33 AM
Since we all seem to grasp the nature of this thread, I move we omit the "Confucius say..." part of the quotation and merely post the remainder.
Any objections?
None!
Motion carried.
That being said...
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."
hard4janira
04-03-2009, 04:37 AM
man who run in front of car get tired, but man who run behind car get exhausted.
Snoriega27
04-03-2009, 05:37 AM
These contributions are great!
Keep 'em comin' guys/gals.
Takin' a wee break to watch Letterman.
snowballboi
04-03-2009, 06:04 AM
Man who jack off into cash register come into money.
Faldur
04-03-2009, 07:14 AM
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger!
Jack59
04-03-2009, 09:29 PM
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
The Piper
04-03-2009, 09:57 PM
Man who put cock in biscuit tin(cookie jar),must be fucking crackers.
Snoriega27
04-04-2009, 03:11 AM
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
envivision
04-04-2009, 04:36 AM
The best cure for a hangover is something one straight man can't do for another straight man
hippifried
04-04-2009, 06:27 AM
Man with head up ass have shitty outlook on life.
envivision
04-04-2009, 07:31 PM
Me chinese, me made joke.
Me put poopoo in your dry wall !.
Seriuosly now, what's the deal with my dry walls.? They smell funny.
hard4janira
04-04-2009, 07:53 PM
It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house
marcelloNYC
04-04-2009, 08:05 PM
Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.
praetor
04-04-2009, 08:10 PM
"Who eats everything not die of hunger"
>Here in Brazil, eat (verb) also has the connotation of fuck<
Snoriega27
04-05-2009, 02:54 AM
Don't sweat the petty stuff ... and don't pet the sweaty stuff.
doctranny07
04-08-2009, 05:14 PM
Confusius say " Don't fuck on table, you get ass in jam"
Jack59
04-08-2009, 06:57 PM
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
baileyandkc
04-08-2009, 08:28 PM
Confucius say President who bail out auto industry get taken for a ride!
goliath_91710
04-09-2009, 03:04 AM
...it takes many screws to make a crib, but only one to fill it!
dickdasterly
04-09-2009, 06:50 AM
It is better to keep ones mouth shut and have people believe you are dumb than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt!!!
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