cheating?

[dreamer]

yeah --my girlfriend chats with naked dudes --says they're immature assholes --but still does it ---LIES to me about it --then I catch her lying ---I have a hard time trusting her about anything --

over the time we knew each other --I got the impression that sex means very little to her --she even once proclaimed that she was promiscous and a flirt ---has met several men from the internet and slept with them --some just for grudge sex (to even the score on an ex) --some just to allow a ts experience --

now --we agreed tonight that we shouldn't be together --I dunno ----learning the things over these months has left very little room for trust ---and now --I see her having chat with a dude that clearly wants her --shows her his dick -----

and I am asking myself --if I didn't find this out and get pissed ----would it have continued on? ---would it have gone any further? -----and I am telling myself that YES --it would have ---in fact --she prolly WILL be with this dude --now that we're not together -----I mean after all --sex means little to her -----this is just from observations --and her own admission ----

I even gave her the option ---to stop chatting with men ---or to be with the man she swears she "loves" and here we are ---broken up ----


pretty shitty feeling right now ---but nope --we're done --

[dreamer]

burp

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Good for you. It's her loss not yours! Given how she is with men, you made a wise decision not to be with her. Then again, a lot of ts'es are the same. Sad but true though unfortunately.

~Kisses.

HTG

[scroller]

Honestly, I don't understand people who expect or desire monogamy.

[DirtySouth]

You did the right thing. She needs to respect the boundaries.

[dreamer]

Honestly, I don't understand people who expect or desire monogamy.

expect monogamy? --we said "I love you" --we put rings on each other's fingers ---we used the words commitment --and relationship ---

she's just far too stupid to even care or be aware of my feelings --never did ---her feelings --her way ----what a cold empty shell

I ask her to stop chatting with men --for me --for us ---she says she won't ---

[tsntx]

Honestly, I don't understand people who expect or desire monogamy.

expect monogamy? --we said "I love you" --we put rings on each other's fingers ---we used the words commitment --and relationship ---

she's just far too stupid to even care or be aware of my feelings --never did ---her feelings --her way ----what a cold empty shell

I ask her to stop chatting with men --for me --for us ---she says she won't ---

did u give up HA for her? no. so why should she? arent you the guy that was just talking about how in love u were w/ ur tranny girl like a week ago and how things couldnt be better etc etc? lots can happen in a week i guess... that sux.

[Tomfurbs]

^^

Is masturbation the same as cheating then?

Because most of the couples I know are fairly open about the fact they wank and fancy other people, but they don't go ahead and actually cheat.

[dreamer]

Honestly, I don't understand people who expect or desire monogamy.

expect monogamy? --we said "I love you" --we put rings on each other's fingers ---we used the words commitment --and relationship ---

she's just far too stupid to even care or be aware of my feelings --never did ---her feelings --her way ----what a cold empty shell

I ask her to stop chatting with men --for me --for us ---she says she won't ---

did u give up HA for her? no. so why should she? arent you the guy that was just talking about how in love u were w/ ur tranny girl like a week ago and how things couldnt be better etc etc? lots can happen in a week i guess... that sux.


well no --she never asked me to give up hung angels for her --and if she did --and told me how much it would mean to her ---I would have --no questions asked ---

well --it's funny --cuz now that it all comes down ---I see the whole thing as a phoney ---I never meant anything ---she even TOLD me that I was only supposed to be a fling ----

[dreamer]

^^

Is masturbation the same as cheating then?

Because most of the couples I know are fairly open about the fact they wank and fancy other people, but they don't go ahead and actually cheat.


this dude is practically BEGGING to fuck her --a 3some even he was willing ---and it's more than the internet here ---he lives 20 mins from her ---and the internet is how she meets ALL her lovers ---so yeah ---caution flags ----caution??? ---more like a white "I give up" flag ---

[Jericho]

I must be getting very old...I remember when it was the seven year itch!

[BabyFirefly42481]

Well I think its time to tell my side of the story......Dreamer is a very insecure lil boy inside.....i has this constent fear of women and that they are gonna leave him....i feel he tries to push me away and make me leave....i stuck by him through all his jelousy issues and him accusing me of flirting with this guy or that guy....thikin i am cheating....you can only take so much....i never once cheated on him or anything like that....he thinks just because guyz on the internent try to hook up wit me that they have a chane......i'm a t-girl....guyz are gonna try to get in my pants...always have...doesnt mean they gonna get it...he need to be able to belive i love him and that love is strong enough to keep me....but he feels all other men are better or more manly then him......i tried to reasure him...but its like beating my head agaist a brick wall....it hurts....so i felt it was time to stop......why keep puttin my self through that....i have friends and family sayin leave him alone he isnt mentaly stable....i thought i could help him.....but i learned once agin...."YOU CAN"T HELP EVERYONE>>>ESPECIALLY SOMEONE WHO DOESNT WANT TO BE HELPED" He is stuck on the fact that all women are not to be trusted....all due to his seperation from his mother when he was younger.....I tried soooo hard to show him I love him......but it jus wasent enough.

[BabyFirefly42481]

I sick of him tryin to make me out to be this slut that is messing around on him......he needs to grow up and be a man.....he told me he felt he could learn alot from me....i may not be book smart....but i have gone through alot in my life and learned from it all.....he just isnt ready to comeout into the world he said he was a very withdrawn person....i like to talk to people and educate about trans issues....so that usually means talkin to guyz....they know very little about women let alone trans woman.....I really wished things coulld have worked out...he has alot of potentioal to really make someone happy...he just needs to realize himself he is worth it.

[MrsKellyPierce]

umm I would of broke it off with cause of his beer belly puke

[BabyFirefly42481]

umm I would of broke it off with cause of his beer belly puke


well as i got older i started to substatute personality over looks...he is a cute guy...a lil outta shape but i still like him.

[Alyssa87]

Thanks for sharing your story guys.
I wish both of you the best of luck.



But work on your punctuation, please!
Did you go to the same school? :P

[BabyFirefly42481]

I just wish I could have made him see how much I really loved him......But he was so blinded by his own insecurites and jelusies.

[stimpy17]

It has to do with trust and respect. Either you have it or you don't. Will your situation improve in time or will it continue to deteriorate? I've found that once the walls start going up the animosity builds.

Perhaps each party needs to stop their destructive activities(you wake-up and be real, where is this going?
Her, is seeking attention and needs to be validated as attractive and desirable. Perhaps you both have self-esteem issues.
Refine the issues to the lowest common denominator then work up from there. So what are the issues? Why are you both still together? Convenience?

DR. Phil has left the house.

[BabyFirefly42481]

It has to do with trust and respect. Either you have it or you don't. Will your situation improve in time or will it continue to deteriorate? I've found that once the walls start going up the animosity builds.

Perhaps each party needs to stop their destructive activities(you wake-up and be real, where is this going?
Her, is seeking attention and needs to be validated as attractive and desirable. Perhaps you both have self-esteem issues.
Refine the issues to the lowest common denominator then work up from there. So what are the issues? Why are you both still together? Convenience?

DR. Phil has left the house.

The problem is he has no trust in me at all. I tell him I love him and he is the only one I want to be with. All he feels is that he is insecure and feels every other man is better then him. No matter how many times I try to reasure him it does nothing.......Its like beating my head against a stone wall. He trys p;ushing me away like he has done to other women he has dated...I talked to his ex about this and she said the same thing. He kept sayin "please don't leave me" I kept tellin him "I aint goin no where babe"
but it means nothing to him.

[Legend]

has met several men from the internet and slept with them


my girlfriend chats with naked dudes


some just to allow a ts experience


Is that just crazy speculation or is it legit?

[BabyFirefly42481]

He totaly took those words out of context......what i said was most of the men i dated i met through the internent because its easier to adress the issue of being trans. when it comes to allowing TS exsperiances....I never said that...I said I was sick and tired of being used AS A SEXUAL EXSPERIANCE. never said I gave guys the oppertunity...He is tryin to make me look like a whore. But in reality he is realy insecure and thinks i am flirting with every guy who gives me a secound look.

[Ponyboy]

It's obvious she has some things she needs to explore that no one man can satisfy. It's not you who is the problem. It's the fact that you are just one flavour. - She would not be satisfied with me either.

She clearly needs to go permiscuou and try variety for a while, and even then she may not be reliable.

[mbf]

<<<<>>>

[dreamer]

yeah --well like I said --sex means very little to this girl ---what kind of woman uses sex with a stranger --just to get back at her ex bf?? ----

Jenn and I were together for close to a month ---when we had a fight ---we didn't talk for a few days ----she told me that she was considering calling up one of her old booty calls ---just to fuck me over --

I never got the impression that I mattered ---I sit there and tell her that I can't imagine my life with out her ---she flat out says she'll be fine without me --she'll adjust -----like she's fine either way --with or without ---MAN that hurts ----

and I am sorry Jenn --but when you tell me about grudge sex --or if you go and GET your grudge sex --you're not hurting ME (well -maybe a little) ---you're only making yourself look cheap and easy ---


this is why I can not trust her---if it means so little to her --who's to say that at ANY given time --she'll be lookin for it --or getting it ---

believe me --I want to trust you --you think it's easy always wondering ? ----I just feel that in all that I have learned about you ---all you've told me --all I have heard ---it may be impossible ----you even said yourself ---you shouldn't have told me so much about your past ----then you say "it's the PAST" ---but your recent internet one nighter --was a month before me ----and then "I"was supposed to be a cheap easy fling too!!! --so don't go saying it's the past --

[dreamer]

umm I would of broke it off with cause of his beer belly puke

and Kelly --that's a little shallow --huh? ---breaking up with someone cuz of their belly? ----it's getting better every day ---in meeting Jennifer --I found myself inspired to diet and excersise --and I still am ----in actual fact ---I have lost close to 30 pounds since I met her ---5'7" 185 --

nobody else is bring phsyical characteristics into this ---so a stranger from Ohio shouldn't either --

[Tomfurbs]

You two need to talk about this away from the board.


You are/were Ha's resident cute couple. Don't let us all down!

[MrsKellyPierce]

oooh you really have a beer belly? lol I don't even know what you look like, I was just making a sarcastic post. SORRY lol :oops:

[dreamer]

me --

[Ponyboy]

Most girls will think you are good looking.

Don't believe anything she says in the heat of an argument - people always say things they regret latter during arguments (you probably said things you will regret later). Half the time we dont even realise what we say

[dreamer]

this is me this morning --almost live ---I dunno ----Jenn --I figured something out on my computer!!! ---I can't believe it!!

[BabyFirefly42481]

I've learned alot from this relationship about myself and Lee. I use to get myself into situations that werent good for me. Last night as Lee was downing me and calling me a whore I realized a really unheathy patern. I allow guyz to treat me like shit because thats what i feel i deserve. You said something last night that really hurt me alot Lee. You brought up the fact that I was molested as a child and kept goin back. Then you said as I got older and I was raped....I went back to the guy as well. I feel like it is what is exspected of me. I was used and abused as a child and now as an adult I aloww it to continue. Its an unheathy firmiliar feeling for me. So you say I have a worped vision on sex.....your right. What do you exspect from a person who was forced and used for sex for most of her life. You really didnt know me at all Lee. You are the only man I've ever made love to.I go back to my Marilyn Monroe statement and why I love her so much. We were both tryin sooo hard to find love. but in the end was used for mens sick li pleasures and exsperiances. So you think it is so easy for me to say I'll move on. its all a routine for me to say that. Its really not that easy. People are sayin were were the cutest hung angels couple. They didnt see all the times you broke down and verbally bashed me. And I just took it. thinkin i deserve it. Well its time for jennifer to stand up and confront men. I'm not a whore , i'm not required to give you men a Ts exsperiance. I am a human, with feelings and emotions. I am not some mindless Robot for you to play with.Not sure how to end this so I'm just gonna say "I'm single again, I'm staying that way for a while." Lee I know you think I'm just gonna go fuck some random guy.....thats the problem....you dont see the real me....you see a transexual sex figure. But your wrong. I'm Jennifer Angela More man then you'll every be, and more of a woman then you'll ever get.Kisses to my Bitches N Hugs to my Thugs. I'm out.

[Quinn]

yeah --my girlfriend chats with naked dudes --says they're immature assholes --but still does it ---LIES to me about it --then I catch her lying ---I have a hard time trusting her about anything --

over the time we knew each other --I got the impression that sex means very little to her --she even once proclaimed that she was promiscous and a flirt ---has met several men from the internet and slept with them --some just for grudge sex (to even the score on an ex) --some just to allow a ts experience --

now --we agreed tonight that we shouldn't be together --I dunno ----learning the things over these months has left very little room for trust ---and now --I see her having chat with a dude that clearly wants her --shows her his dick -----

and I am asking myself --if I didn't find this out and get pissed ----would it have continued on? ---would it have gone any further? -----and I am telling myself that YES --it would have ---in fact --she prolly WILL be with this dude --now that we're not together -----I mean after all --sex means little to her -----this is just from observations --and her own admission ----

I even gave her the option ---to stop chatting with men ---or to be with the man she swears she "loves" and here we are ---broken up ----


pretty shitty feeling right now ---but nope --we're done --

Sorry to read about your difficulties, dreamer. Though I could most certainly be wrong, it sounds like you are dealing with a woman who has serious validation issues. If so, you are right to walk away. Dealing with that is absolutely always a losing proposition, particularly when it comes to TG's who are dealing with validation on a far more fundamental level (not just their beauty, but sometimes their gender itself). There are plenty of TS women out there who are comfortable with who they are. Find one of them and you'll be glad you did.

-Quinn

[BabyFirefly42481]

yeah --my girlfriend chats with naked dudes --says they're immature assholes --but still does it ---LIES to me about it --then I catch her lying ---I have a hard time trusting her about anything --

over the time we knew each other --I got the impression that sex means very little to her --she even once proclaimed that she was promiscous and a flirt ---has met several men from the internet and slept with them --some just for grudge sex (to even the score on an ex) --some just to allow a ts experience --

now --we agreed tonight that we shouldn't be together --I dunno ----learning the things over these months has left very little room for trust ---and now --I see her having chat with a dude that clearly wants her --shows her his dick -----

and I am asking myself --if I didn't find this out and get pissed ----would it have continued on? ---would it have gone any further? -----and I am telling myself that YES --it would have ---in fact --she prolly WILL be with this dude --now that we're not together -----I mean after all --sex means little to her -----this is just from observations --and her own admission ----

I even gave her the option ---to stop chatting with men ---or to be with the man she swears she "loves" and here we are ---broken up ----


pretty shitty feeling right now ---but nope --we're done --



I'm sick of hearing about this guy that I WILL be wit.......Yall need to know that the guy Lee is talkin about is a stupid groupie.....I mean come on!!! I dont even know ho he is...we talked once and he said he was in to Ts....you have any idea how many guyz like that contact girls like us.....its crazy....But Lee you just werent confident enough or trust me enough to know I love you and think you were worthy.....it is true i have some confident issues but You are way worse then me.....and i tried to reasure you. The whole time we were together I never once did or even thought about doin anything sexualy with another man.....You were the first person I ever had make love to me. But you thought i was gonna leave for some ruff neck thug. and since that was how alot of my male friends were you couldnt handle it....honestly I think you just cant handle a relationship with a trans girl....I mean we were together almost 7 months and you told only one friend about me. You hide me away and then accuse me of cheating, you made me take off all my gay pride and trans shit of my myspace so it appeared hetrosexual in yer world...I did so much for you. stayed up in my room for hours when my roomates friends came over who were guyz. i tried everything to please you. but you didnt want that...you wanted another tragic stoey to tell about another woman who just ran away from you ....well i didnt run sweetie...i was forced out.

[tsntx]

jen, youre better than this crap, move on w/ ur life w/o him... u dont need him or guys like him

[BabyFirefly42481]

I am workin on movin on. It just hurts so much because I was so honest with him and opened up my heart and soul to show him who I am and what I have been through. And he compleatly put me through judgement and pursacution. He just wasent ready for the mental stresses of the transexual world. I just hope I had some good impact on him that he can take and learn from to better himself. He really is a good guy.

[Legend]

He totaly took those words out of context......what i said was most of the men i dated i met through the internent because its easier to adress the issue of being trans. when it comes to allowing TS exsperiances....I never said that...I said I was sick and tired of being used AS A SEXUAL EXSPERIANCE. never said I gave guys the oppertunity...He is tryin to make me look like a whore. But in reality he is realy insecure and thinks i am flirting with every guy who gives me a secound look.

If he doesn't trust you there is no relationship.If you really cared and love someone you would trust them no matter what and give them the space that truly need.

[dreamer]

I had a wonderful day with a wonderful woman ---my mother ---we went to a cancer survivor "walk for cancer" benefit --fro 830 am to noon ---sun drenched and sweaty ---we talked a lot about this relationship between man and woman (no --I have not told my mother or father or brother that I am interested in transsexuals) ---sorry --maybe it's not so easy for some (me) to share such personal things ---and I am sure I am not the only one like this --

my mother listened with honest ears --and answered with the honesty of 63 years of experience ---I told her I missed Jennifer ---I missed her a lot ---she agreed and said "of course you do --it's a part of breaking up" ---

I told her about all the things that have bothered me --and why I feel what was done --was done --she listened ---head down --walking ---trying to give her youngest son sound advice ----and yes --hope -------I mentioned how well Jennifer and I had gotten along --and how when we were good --we were GREAT ---

I also mentioned how Jennifer thinks/says that I have abandonment issues ---aquired over the years --beginning with her (my mother) --leaving us when I was fresh into puberty ----and she knows I have this issue --and tries to explain and justify her filing divorce --------as a 36 year old man --I can now understand much clearer than a 13 year old boy ---she disagrees with Jennifer's conclusions about me ---and in turn voiced her thoughts --that I have zero tolerance for infidelity ---

I dunno ---above --and just now on the phone ---Jennifer is/was saying how I don't know about the transsexual community -or world ----and I don't ----don't know a thing -----I see Jennifer a a woman --a boy/girl relationship ---I treated her --touched her --laughed with her --listened and talked to her as what I thought of as --a woman ----and she explained very simply --that she is not --and never will be --a woman -----I know nothing about transsexuals ---

I never chased tgirls or genetic girls in a sexual way ---yeah --maybe I would contact some if I found them attractive --including Jennifer ---(what can I say --I have taste) -----but never solely for sexual reasons ---like with Jenn ---I went to her house that night looking for a relationship ---gave her a flower --and SHE jumped ME ---whatever ---and here we are ----whatever ----I never realized that many men see twomen as objects ---and I never realized that Jennifer gets penis pics and pervos all the time ---I just stumbled upon one good lookin young kid that wanted to sleep with my girlfriend ---and got very very angry --hurt --devastated --and broken hearted --and yes --jealous and insecure --all at the same very instant ---

and a lesson learned ---try not to act so suddenly ---I am an impulsive person ---pretty much purely instinctive (Aries I) ---


yeah --Jenn's past troubles me ---we both agree now that she shouldn't have told me so much about it ---but then again --I do ask a lot of questions ---even when I know I won't like the answers ----and yes Jenn --you know --I did judge you ---and I am sorry ---

[Ponyboy]

I remember breaking up with people I care for - I know I shouldnt talk to them because I just end up argueing, but they mean so much I end up going back for more. In the end it does no good for anyone.

The two of you need to stay away from this thread - you are just hurtung each other. We are all flawed and it is obvious that you both have some feelings for each other, but talking like this is only bringing you both down, so take some time out and stay away

[Tomfurbs]

I remember breaking up with people I care for - I know I shouldnt talk to them because I just end up argueing, but they mean so much I end up going back for more. In the end it does no good for anyone.

The two of you need to stay away from this thread - you are just hurtung each other. We are all flawed and it is obvious that you both have some feelings for each other, but talking like this is only bringing you both down, so take some time out and stay away

+1