LOSS OF A FATHER..

[JANIRA]

Just a few days ago i was forced to take on 1 of the most , if not the most difficult situation of my life....The passing of my dad. It seems like it was just yesterday he was walking me in the park , pushing me on the swings at the park and making me giggle more and more the higher he pushed me, or the scent of his favorite cologne that would dance on his skin while i sat on his lap.The way he used to tickle my ears with his mustache,, and make funny noises just to put a smile on my face. As a child growing up I always wanted my dad closer to me, and now that i am a woman i needed him to accept me more , ... he did in his own way , but I just needed him to tell me ,,, I love you , over and over again just so i can belive it. Its such a reality when you see a man who was so full of life, so strong just morph into a person who is wilting and then pass. Seeing my dad at his wake yesterday was even more harder for me than seeing him in the hospital minutes after he passed. I have never been nor seen person pass,till now... i guess, i just kept on hoping if i looked at him long enough he might wake up and just tell me he loves me, and that he always did. Dad, I will always remember the way you would dance and always be the life of the party , the way your eyes would gleam and shine when you smiled .... May you be smiling down on me and may you always watch over me and protect me.... I LOVE YOU PAPI..
.....ALWAYS! http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c345/siemprebella/dadnme.jpg

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

My condolences on you & your family and this tragic loss. Think I'll go hang out with my father tomorrow in light of reading this.

[dan_yearsgone83]

Sorry to hear Janira - i went thru nearly the exact situation this past may with my dad (he passed away less than 5 months after being diagnosed with a rare type of leukemia).

the best advice i can give is spend time with your family and friends and be willing to lean on others to get thru the next few weeks.

[justatransgirl]

Janira honey please accept our heartfelt condlences from Jessica and I. I'm so glad you were able to enjoy the acceptance and love of your father, and you obviously return it. Thank you for sharing this with us.

All the best to your and your family.

Hugs,
TS Jamie (and Jessica)

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

My deepest condolences to you and your family Janira. I know that losing a loved one is one of life's hardest things to accept. I'm s glad I made peace with my Dad while he is still with us. I love him so much!

May your dad rest in peace and in the arms of the almighty.

~Kisses.

HTG

[yodajazz]

My sincere condolences go out to you for the loss of your father. You and I were blessed to have good fathers. The love he gave to you can never be taken away. You will always have it, and the memories of precious times. You will know what things in your life would have made him happy and what things he would like, even though he will not be there to say it directly. You will know. And as time passes you will better understand why your parents did certain things. Take comfort in the people who come to show their love and support. They come to confirm that, a person like your father, who leaves people behind who will miss their love, is one that is well lived.

[blckhaze]

Best wishes to you and your family Janira.

[sucka4chix]

Janira, please accept my sincere sympathy and heartfelt prayers during this time of loss. The passing of a parent is hard for anyone; I would imagine it's even harder for a transgender--- sometimes it can be hard for parents to process the obvious LOVE they have and the frustration in trying to understand.
Take comfort in the time you shared--- it is a blessing. Though it would have surely given you great joy to have his words reassure you, I'm sure you know he loves you (still)! He helped raise a very thoughtful, sensitive and loving child, who just posted the most moving, soulful post I've ever read. I can tell he was a great man. Celebrate him!

Be blessed!

[chefmike]

I am so sorry to hear that, Janira...although you may rest assured that your father's spirit and memories will always comfort you. My father died fifteen years ago and yet to this day when I dream or think of him it's like he was still walking on this earth with me. You have my deepest condolences and I am very sorry for your loss, Janira.

[GroobySteven]

Sorry to hear that Janira and thanks for sharing it with us.
The photo you posted of you and your Dad, is lovely.

seanchai

[johnb]

I can see where you got your good looks, beauty tends to run in the family. I've lost both my mother and my father, but I never spend a day not thinking about their lessons learned. They're still alive.

[mbf]

condolences, Janira.

weather there is life after death or not, he will live in your memories. So, in that respect there he didn´t really die.

[the_corner]

I'm really sorry Janira.

My deepest condolences to you and your family.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Janira, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. Both, you and your entire family have my deepest sympathies. I am sure his memory and his love will be with you, always.

My Dad, is nearing his 90th birthday. His health over the last few years has declined, but comparitively, he's still going strong.

[hwbs]

sorry for your losses .....we are here for u at our little HA community ...

[Ironhead]

You have my most heartfelt condolences, Janira. The single most painful event of my life was losing my father at the age of 56 to a heart attack. He was my best friend and only person in the world that I ever really relied on for anything. In the real world, I'm known for my ability to deal with anything and not let it phase me, and I had to be strong for the rest of my rather large family when my father passed. But, within 6 months, I had a breakdown. I'm not telling you that to brag, but to let you know that it can be very hard and there may be days when you think or feel you just can't take it anymore, but that pain WILL lessen eventually. It's been just over 3 years now and I'm able to think back on some great memories and smile without being overwhelmed by pain. Stay strong and remember that there are some of us out here who will be glad to listen and help if we can.

[melissacarter]

Janira, your love for your father is so clearly felt. Be strong, and hold onto those memories...

[budeluv77]

Very tough thing to lose a loved one. My deepest condolences to you and your family!

[TsVanessa69]

Sister I feel your pain. I lost my father when I was 21, and in early stages of transition. I did not transition at home in front of my parents out of respect, but I and you are blessed. Our fathers accepted us for who we are. Many girls in our situation do not have that blessing. The happy memorys will comfort you in your hard time. Trust me, I have been there. Its gonna be ok sis, trust me.

[brickcitybrother]

Prayers and blessig to you and yours.

[MrsKellyPierce]

My heart goes out to you and the rest of your family.

Take the time to heal my dear.

[Coroner]

My condolences on you and your family, Janira. :(

[Steve-Oh]

My deep sympathies to you, Janira.
Thanks for sharing your great memories with us.
Peace to you and your family.

Steve.

[JANIRA]

Thank you all for your comforting words and deepest sentiments , you all are very kind.

[El Nino]

Its so sad to read what you wrote Janira. It's an inescapable thing... death is. May the force be with you.

[peggygee]

Janira, my sincerest condolences to you and
and your family for your loss.

Peg.

[NatassiaDreamsXXX]

Its been a long time since we spoke or seen eachother but never forget I am always here for you..My condolences go out to you and your family, and if it makes you feel any better your father is in a better place. He is also able to watch over you and take care of you like no other now so rest at ease that he is not gone and NEVER FORGOTTEN.. Cuidate

[whatislove]

I'm glad you were able to share it here and I offer my condolences.

[Felicia Katt]

that was really touching, your dad sounds like a great guy. I'm so sorry for your loss.

FK

[trish]

I'm so sorry, Janira, and offer you my heartfelt sympathy.

[mtbazz]

My condolences. I lost my father a little over a year ago, so can relate. It will get easier to deal with, but you will always miss him.

[dderek123]

I'm sorry for your loss Janira. My condolences.

[andyuk]

god bless you and your family.
i lost my dad when i was still really young,but i still have a few memories,
sad part about life,no easy way t deal with it.
but if you ever need a chat just hola.

[Azanti]

My father is dying at the moment, so you have my deepest sympathies.

[glenntinnyc]

my sympathies and condolences to you and your family.

[eggbert]

Janira, I lost my dad nearly 13 years ago. We were very close. To this day, I'll hear a news story, or see a movie, or just watch a ball game and want to call my dad to talk about it. You never get over those urges and that loss. But then I just remember who he was, and I smile. I cry a little too, but that's alright. It sounds like you'll be there soon too.

[Cheekygrin]

I have been there recently as well.I am sorry for your loss.
A quote someone told me which comforted somewhat-
Don't be sad he's gone,be glad he came.

[Quinn]

My condolences to you and your family Janira. The photo of you and your father is quite nice. He had a kind face.

-Quinn

[BeardedOne]

So sorry to hear of your loss, Janira. Thanks for posting that pic of you and your dad, he looks like he was a kind man.

[bunzy]

So sorry to hear that Janira.

[YasminLee]

im very sorry for your lost sweetie. may he rest in peace

[tstv_lover]

So sorry to hear about your loss. You were lucky to have him - and he was lucky to have a loving daughter.

He may well be smiling down on you. While you keep his love in your heart he is always with you.

It's a reminder for us all to appreciate those who really matter and forget temporary squabbles.

Dave

[Floyd R]

Janira, I am sorry to hear about your father's passing. I send condolences to you and your family.

[a994]

My condolences, thoughts, and prayers go out for you.

[dave252]

very sorry about your loss, i wish the best for you and your family in this most difficult time

[catpower]

I'm really sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[si2001]

the loss of a loved one is always difficult. My thoughts are with you at this time... xx