The issue of the word 'MAN'!!!!!!!!

[Tomfurbs]

Okey dokey...hear me out.

Ever since school, I have, (for good or ill), called everyone I've been intimate with: 'Man'. It is a silly affectation, but it has stuck...and it has also stuck with most of the 20-somethings I know.

I call all my GG friends 'Man'. They call all their GG and Male friends 'Man' too. (They also wear stupidly tight jeans, but that is one hipster trend too far for me). In fact, I was once taking a piss in the loos in the 100 Club in Oxford Street, and counted 6 'mans' in the convo between two floppy fringed twats washing their hands...

Anyway... when in the company of transwomen, I become incredibly self-conscious in this regard, and am loath to call whoever I am with 'Man' in order to avoid causing offence. This is one of the reasons why I never drink too much when relating to a TV/TS/TG ( I beleive that is the correct abreviation...) in a club (like Heaven or Punk, all you London peeps) because, when in a state of drunken 'bonhomie' I am apt to call even the taxi driver 'Man'.

So, my question is: would you (girls) feel offended if someone called you 'Man' if you were aware that it was just a 'hipster' form of greeting and not a means to be offensive. Or does it still sting...

Seriously interested in the answers you might have, because the last thing I want to do is piss anybody off or cause offence...

[GroobySteven]

The 60's are over. man.
So unless your a Scot or Geordie - it's time to let "man" go.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

No worries...Dude!!!

[Tomfurbs]

The 60's are over. man.
So unless your a Scot or Geordie - it's time to let "man" go.

You are probably right...

[peggygee]

Using 'guys' as in "Are you guys coming to my party" might
be cool to a woman.

But 'man' ain't. :smh

[trish]

i know exactly what you mean, man. but, dude, you gotta also hear what we guys are sayin', ya know? usage is like everything, man. i'll respond favorably to "how's it hangin', man," but not so favorably to "you're a man and you look like one too."

the problem arises because the word "man" (like the word "he") can be used to refer both genders and it can be used to specify the male gender. another part of the problem for trans women is that the issue of gender cuts to the heart of their being. we've spend years and fortunes shaping our bodies to our gender. during our transitions many of us were exposed to ridicule and hatred from strangers, schoolmates, friends and family. it should be understandable that many are us are sensitive and touchy about having others respect our gender identity. so if you want to avoid an uncomfortable social situation, make sure that when you use the word "man" or the word "he" around a trans woman, your the listener can clearly hear the appropriate gender reference. if you're not so good at this, just avoid the word, man...'cause like...you know...the lingo just ain't that rad.

[iloveshemales77]

I still catch my self saying "man" from time to time. Its almost as bad as the "like" thang, which is said to have originally been used by cheerleaders whence it migrated into general usage via valley girl talk. Uuuughh!!!! :-(

[Tomfurbs]

Using 'guys' as in "Are you guys coming to my party" might
be cool to a woman.

But 'man' ain't. :smh

Righty-oh.

But I (and most of the people I know) refer to everyone as 'man', even my female friends. The point of this thread is that I get a complex using that word around the transgendered I know, and not aroung the 'genetic' females I relate to.

Anyway, I take all your points. Probably time to set the word to rest.

[Tomfurbs]

i know exactly what you mean, man. but, dude, you gotta also hear what we guys are sayin', ya know? usage is like everything, man. i'll respond favorably to "how's it hangin', man," but not so favorably to "you're a man and you look like one too."

the problem arises because the word "man" (like the word "he") can be used to refer both genders and it can be used to specify the male gender. another part of the problem for trans women is that the issue of gender cuts to the heart of their being. we've spend years and fortunes shaping our bodies to our gender. during our transitions many of us were exposed to ridicule and hatred from strangers, schoolmates, friends and family. it should be understandable that many are us are sensitive and touchy about having others respect our gender identity. so if you want to avoid an uncomfortable social situation, make sure that when you use the word "man" or the word "he" around a trans woman, your the listener can clearly hear the appropriate gender reference. if you're not so good at this, just avoid the word, man...'cause like...you know...the lingo just ain't that rad.

Fanx fo dat.. In all honesty that is the answer I was subconsciously looking for.

I have been educated!!!!!!

[peggygee]

i know exactly what you mean, man. but, dude, you gotta also hear what we guys are sayin', ya know? usage is like everything, man. i'll respond favorably to "how's it hangin', man," but not so favorably to "you're a man and you look like one too."

the problem arises because the word "man" (like the word "he") can be used to refer both genders and it can be used to specify the male gender. another part of the problem for trans women is that the issue of gender cuts to the heart of their being. we've spend years and fortunes shaping our bodies to our gender. during our transitions many of us were exposed to ridicule and hatred from strangers, schoolmates, friends and family. it should be understandable that many are us are sensitive and touchy about having others respect our gender identity. so if you want to avoid an uncomfortable social situation, make sure that when you use the word "man" or the word "he" around a trans woman, your the listener can clearly hear the appropriate gender reference. if you're not so good at this, just avoid the word, man...'cause like...you know...the lingo just ain't that rad.

Well put, pretty much what she said.

[Tomfurbs]

I still catch my self saying "man" from time to time. Its almost as bad as the "like" thang, which is said to have originally been used by cheerleaders whence it migrated into general usage via valley girl talk. Uuuughh!!!! :-(

Yeah man, it's like, totally gonna take me ages to, like, break this habit, man.

[GroobySteven]

Haway with ya, man - hadda away an shite, man.
Wee Aye, Man!

[peggygee]

Using 'guys' as in "Are you guys coming to my party" might
be cool to a woman.

But 'man' ain't. :smh

Righty-oh.

But I (and most of the people I know) refer to everyone as 'man', even my female friends. The point of this thread is that I get a complex using that word around the transgendered I know, and not aroung the 'genetic' females I relate to.

Anyway, I take all your points. Probably time to set the word to rest.

Have you ever had a coach say to "get off your ass ladies", "or to not get
your panties in a bunch, or other statements that weren't gender
appropriate to you.

Maybe it's a cultural thing, or an age difference but I don't think any
American woman would like being referred to with 'man or dude'.

But I know that it can be a sensitive issue for transwomen for the reasons
Trish stated.

[Tomfurbs]

Using 'guys' as in "Are you guys coming to my party" might
be cool to a woman.

But 'man' ain't. :smh

Righty-oh.

But I (and most of the people I know) refer to everyone as 'man', even my female friends. The point of this thread is that I get a complex using that word around the transgendered I know, and not aroung the 'genetic' females I relate to.

Anyway, I take all your points. Probably time to set the word to rest.

Have you ever had a coach say to "get off your ass ladies", "or to not get
your panties in a bunch, or other statements that weren't gender
appropriate to you.

Maybe it's a cultural thing, or an age difference but I don't think any
American woman would like being referred to with 'man or dude'.

But I know that it can be a sensitive issue for transwomen for the reasons
Trish stated.

I guess it's all context. But I hear you. It's not appropriate. Thanks.

[ARMANIXXX]

Have you ever had a coach say to "get off your ass ladies", "or to not get
your panties in a bunch, or other statements that weren't gender
appropriate to you.

Maybe it's a cultural thing, or an age difference but I don't think any
American woman would like being referred to with 'man or dude'.

But I know that it can be a sensitive issue for transwomen for the reasons
Trish stated.


__________________________________________________ _______________



Coaches say that all the time.

My coaches certainly did.

[the_corner]

.... dude! .... you have to let the habit of calling people 'man' :)

[tgirlzoe]

My ex-girlfriend used to be sensitive to this sort of thing.

One time, her boyfriend came home and was like, "Hey guys!" and she had to be like, "We're not guys!" I just rolled my eyes at her.

On the other hand, if you directly refer to me as a man, I'm going to be pissed.

No, the funny part comes is that, on occasion, due to the idiosyncrasies of the English language, you say "he" instead of "she". It wouldn't phase a GG, but some TS can be rather sensitive to it.

[irishgirl]

"Dude" and "Guys" are gender neutral for mid-20's and under folks in the US. At least people on the coasts.

Tom, is the "man" thing related to the saying "Take your man there" which I found to be so popular when I visited Ireland?

[Tomfurbs]

"Dude" and "Guys" are gender neutral for mid-20's and under folks in the US. At least people on the coasts.

Tom, is the "man" thing related to the saying "Take your man there" which I found to be so popular when I visited Ireland?

I have to admit I've never come across that phrase...

'Man' among UK 20-somethings is pretty gender-neutral, similar to 'dude' or 'guys' as you said. In fact, 'gender-neutral' is a great way to to describe the phrase's usage in general, which is why I wondered why I feel awkward using it when in the company of transwomen :?:

Anyway... it seems best to leave the phrase well alone.

[BlackMath]

The 60's are over. man.
So unless your a Scot or Geordie - it's time to let "man" go.

Everyone says 'man', keep up with the kids! lol

[KiraHarden]

Would you guys still feel ok with the term man if your dating a TS and lets just say some of your friends would say to her,

Hey Man/Dude can I get you a drink
Dude thats a pretty dress
Are you dating that man? Dude

Then you see how much it hurts her to hear that

What guy who really cares about TS woman or dating them would be ok with that Term regardless of the inflection, and not find it disrespectful or hurtful.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Perhaps we, as a society should get back to proper address, in any situation. Sir, Ma'am, Mr, Miss, Mrs. The common use of Man, Dude, Missy, Babe, Sweetie, IMO shows the lack of respect that has grown rampant in our society. I am as guilty as anyone.

[KiraHarden]

Perhaps we, as a society should get back to proper address, in any situation. Sir, Ma'am, Mr, Miss, Mrs. The common use of Man, Dude, Missy, Babe, Sweetie, IMO shows the lack of respect that has grown rampant in our society. I am as guilty as anyone.
That would be a beautiful thing :)

[trish]

Would you guys still feel ok with the term man if your dating a TS and lets just say some of your friends would say to her,

Hey Man/Dude can I get you a drink
Dude thats a pretty dress
Are you dating that man? Dude

Then you see how much it hurts her to hear that

What guy who really cares about TS woman or dating them would be ok with that Term regardless of the inflection, and not find it disrespectful or hurtful.


an effective way to illustrate the point, Kira. nicely done.

[KiraHarden]

Would you guys still feel ok with the term man if your dating a TS and lets just say some of your friends would say to her,

Hey Man/Dude can I get you a drink
Dude thats a pretty dress
Are you dating that man? Dude

Then you see how much it hurts her to hear that

What guy who really cares about TS woman or dating them would be ok with that Term regardless of the inflection, and not find it disrespectful or hurtful.


an effective way to illustrate the point, Kira. nicely done.
Thank you :)

[NeedBlackup]

I call everyone "dude". No exceptions.