Why are there SO FEW Getlemen Left?

[AllanahStarrNYC]

It seems like plain and simple manners amongst most men are gone these days...

Wha tever happened to opening doors for a lady- pulling her chair out to sit- or standing when a lady leaves the table????

I'm lucky that my BF is one-

But I find bad manners amongst men rampant these days-

Especially YOUNG men.

[stillies77]

im 23...i open doors for people pick up things when they drop them and everything...so who knows.

[cantona5]

without blowing my own trumpet, i would say i was a gentleman. the thing is now people take the pi55 out of me for being so. seriously i'm ashamed of the way society is now, particularly in the UK. I insist on walking on the outside of a lady down the road/street, open and hold doors etc etc. I hold doors open for strangers and people don't even say thanks anymore. i wonder why i bother sometimes, but i still do. so there are a few of us out there, just fewer and fewer

[Fox]

It's the same reason many families don't eat Sunday dinners together (or any other day of the week), don't worship together like before, etc. Old traditions die out over time for better or worse. Not to mention our society is far more sexual than ever before, so the value of a woman is lost on many men especially if they don't have a proper male influence guiding them.

You know, I try to do the gentlemen-ly things with girls, but I never knew until recently that I needed to stand when they left the table. Thanks for the reminder on that one. ;)

EDIT: Oh and the feminist movement might have had an effect on it, too. :lol:

[AllanahStarrNYC]

without blowing my own trumpet, i would say i was a gentleman. the thing is now people take the pi55 out of me for being so. seriously i'm ashamed of the way society is now, particularly in the UK. I insist on walking on the outside of a lady down the road/street, open and hold doors etc etc. I hold doors open for strangers and people don't even say thanks anymore. i wonder why i bother sometimes, but i still do. so there are a few of us out there, just fewer and fewer

yes- a lady should always walk on the nside of the street when with a gentleman

and you are right about opening doors for people- i do it all the time or hold them and some don't even say thanks you-

glad u are still left :)

[blckhaze]

yeah. i neer stood when a lady left the table, but otherwise, I do my best to be a gentleman. But in the long run it becomes manners = nice guy = FRIEND ZONE!!! plus a good chunk of women arent very courteous either. As my fave comedian Richard Pryor said "Chivalry is dead, but women killed it"

[AllanahStarrNYC]

It's the same reason many families don't eat Sunday dinners together (or any other day of the week), don't worship together like before, etc. Old traditions die out over time for better or worse. Not to mention our society is far more sexual than ever before, so the value of a woman is lost on many men especially if they don't have a proper male influence guiding them.

You know, I try to do the gentlemen-ly things with girls, but I never knew until recently that I needed to stand when they left the table. Thanks for the reminder on that one. ;)

EDIT: Oh and the feminist movement might have had an effect on it, too. :lol:

Very good obeservations

I agree on many points.

But I do think this info. is lost from generation to generation.

And yeah- if you reallyw ant to impress a girl- stand up when she leaves the table :)

[AllanahStarrNYC]

yeah. i neer stood when a lady left the table, but otherwise, I do my best to be a gentleman. But in the long run it becomes manners = nice guy = FRIEND ZONE!!! plus a good chunk of women arent very courteous either. As my fave comedian Richard Pryor said "Chivalry is dead, but women killed it"

i don't agree-

romantically i have been most impressed by men who were gentlemen

the one's who were not- did not last long
or did not impress me

but glad u are a gentleman :)

[blckhaze]

yeah. i neer stood when a lady left the table, but otherwise, I do my best to be a gentleman. But in the long run it becomes manners = nice guy = FRIEND ZONE!!! plus a good chunk of women arent very courteous either. As my fave comedian Richard Pryor said "Chivalry is dead, but women killed it"

i don't agree-

romantically i have been most impressed by men who were gentlemen

the one's who were not- did not last long
or did not impress me

but glad u are a gentleman :)

And im glad your a lady in the true sense of the word.
Ladies get what they deserve. If you show class and respect, you get that in return. if you dont, then dont let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

[Fox]

It's the same reason many families don't eat Sunday dinners together (or any other day of the week), don't worship together like before, etc. Old traditions die out over time for better or worse. Not to mention our society is far more sexual than ever before, so the value of a woman is lost on many men especially if they don't have a proper male influence guiding them.

You know, I try to do the gentlemen-ly things with girls, but I never knew until recently that I needed to stand when they left the table. Thanks for the reminder on that one. ;)

EDIT: Oh and the feminist movement might have had an effect on it, too. :lol:

Very good obeservations

I agree on many points.

But I do think this info. is lost from generation to generation.

And yeah- if you reallyw ant to impress a girl- stand up when she leaves the table :)

Thank you American Gangster for the lesson! :D

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

I think it all boils down to how parents are raising their kids today. These days, not very many people have good manners, morals, etiquette and breeding like they used to. ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

[Legend]

I will generally open the door for anyone if they aren't too far behind and i normally address older people with maam or sir.It normally depends on how a person was raised.

[Wombat]

I don't think it has completely disappeared nor is it just confined to young men either, many women could do with a lesson on manners.
The current culture of the individual rather than a culture of community is probably to blame. The increasing urbanisation of society, the breakdown of traditional nuclear families and so on. There are many more reasons I'm sure.
As a senior NCO I am expected to have a grasp on etiquette, and I was raised with manners in any case. I try to pass this on to my subordinates, many are simply ignorant of manners as it was never taught to them.

[TrueBeauty TS]

I think it all boils down to how parents are raising their kids today. These days, not very many people have good manners, morals, etiquette and breeding like they used to. ;)

~Kisses.

HTG


There are a lot of families without a father (or father figure) to pass along and teach those manners to their sons.



.

[Trans Mission]

There are a lot of families without a father (or father figure) to pass along and teach those manners to their sons.


I respectfully disagree.

My parents divorced when I was very young. My mother was the one who taught me manners. A single parent, whether male or female, is responsible for the child's complete development.

While in a romantic sense, I agree. You are, however, completely lost!

I too, came from a broken home, raised by a Mom, so in reality you are half-right. A single parent should instill the correct values, but when income is an issue and child support doesn't exist, some Mothers are forced to work copious hours to fill financial voids that other parents aren't required to fill.

In their altruistic attempt at preserving the nest, Moms who work these hours have a hard time relating to pubescent teen males and these males tend to not , initially anyhow, adapt to the stringent criteria society has impressed upon their peer group, creating outcasts.

Wait, am I giving too much of myself away here 8)

[BXCanada]

for the most part i am the nicest person you could want to meet.

[BXCanada]

I respectfully disagree.

My parents divorced when I was very young. My mother was the one who taught me manners. A single parent, whether male or female, is responsible for the child's complete development.

While in a romantic sense, I agree. You are, however, completely lost!

I too, came from a broken home, raised by a Mom, so in reality you are half-right. A single parent should instill the correct values, but when income is an issue and child support doesn't exist, some Mothers are forced to work copious hours to fill financial voids that other parents aren't required to fill.

In their altruistic attempt at preserving the nest, Moms who work these hours have a hard time relating to pubescent teen males and these males tend to not , initially anyhow, adapt to the stringent criteria society has impressed upon their peer group, creating outcasts.

Wait, am I giving too much of myself away here 8)

How do you mean I'm "completely lost?" Oh, you must mean that you disagree with me to a poing. That's cool.

Trust me, my mother worked multiple jobs to provide for her children. Nothing to do with "romantic senses," but cold reality. Invest in her childrens's social and educational development or risk leashing , as you put it, outcasts into society.

Every family is different, whether they are headed by one or two parents.
There are plenty of uncouth young men who grew up in homes where fathers/older male figures were present.

So, keeping in the spirit of etiquette, I will not say that you are lost. I'll just say that I respectully disagree with you.

i totaly agree with you, my mom worked very hard when i was a child she was a house keeper for some very well off families... not a live in house keeper. she did everything in her power to make sure myself and my brother where raised properly and showed respect to those that desirved respect.

even if i am getting on the city bus i still allow the women to enter the bus first. i have no problem pulling a chair out for a woman if i go to dinner with her, or opening the door. it is called common curtisy... unfortunatly it is not all that common amongst a lot of people in this day and age. but it does exsist even if in just small doses.

[MicB]

...in the words of Dave Chappelle:
"You women are right: chivalry IS dead...and you bitches killed it!"

[MacShreach]

A single parent, whether male or female, is responsible for the child's complete development.

With you on that braveman. My mother did it after my father died. It's tough, it takes a hell of a toll on the woman or man, which the kids don't see most of, but you know you owe her, or him.

I do hear and see a lot of things about single-parent families...The fact is we live in an era when many of those single parents were themselves brought up by single parents and are even perhaps the third generation....I don't doubt that's tough.

Totally OT but cool, you like Wynonie Harris? I just D/L'd an album of his off emusic-- thank you!

[TrueBeauty TS]

There are a lot of families without a father (or father figure) to pass along and teach those manners to their sons.


I respectfully disagree.

My parents divorced when I was very young. My mother was the one who taught me manners. A single parent, whether male or female, is responsible for the child's complete development.

Well... I never said that mothers couldn't do it. Believe me, I was in NO WAY belittleing moms. I was rasied by my mom, too. But I'll bet all those working mothers would have loved to get a little help.

With the disclaimer that, yes, every family is different, I was just pointing out a simple fact. I don't think it's right to let those absent fathers off the hook on this one.


.

[igotmacedbymimi:(]

You gotta give props to the strong women in kids' lives. Strong, single moms kick ass! I'll PM you about Wynonie Harris.



A single parent, whether male or female, is responsible for the child's complete development.

With you on that braveman. My mother did it after my father died. It's tough, it takes a hell of a toll on the woman or man, which the kids don't see most of, but you know you owe her, or him.

Totally OT but cool, you like Wynonie Harris? I just D/L'd an album of his off emusic-- thank you!

This aint a dig on you mate, far from it, because you made a great point, but you gotta give props to all the good role models and strong people in a childs life, not just mum's.

My friend is a single father, he looks after his children AND he works night shifts continuously to support them, he gets no other support...just has his mother to sleep in his house with the kids so they arent home alone. He gets lots of props from me.

But anyway, back to the question, there has been a decline in chivalry, on both parts male and female.

Guys.

more thug culture, rapstars etc, women just seen as material, general lack of respect in children growing up and not educated properly with good manners meaning less care for one another in the community, lack of family values.

Girls.

Rise of the 'ladette' 'girl power' phase, 'we dont need your help, we dont need no man' etc etc, also trying to exploit the sex industry, we see this a lot more esspec so on this site, years ago this was no way near as prelevant but with the media and different sources available nowdays it is rife. Women are happy to flaunt themselves as material goods as long as they get the 'cash for the gash'.

It is changes in social popular culture brought on by the media which have caused such a change.

A change for the worse, it will only get worse and worse in time.

As we (the west) dives deeper into more greedy and materialistic ways of life, chivalry will go out the window completely.

I find it ironic to see prostitutes/escorts who are complaining about a lack of 'chivalry' towards 'ladies'. Whilst being a prostitute doesnt mean someone is a bad person, not at all, it however does show they are willing to sell their body for sex. They are willing to let someone use their body in a sexual way for material gain, i think there is a slight hypocracy going on wit hthis forum if people think they can be an escort/prostitute AND be treated like a TOTALLY INNOCENT PRINCESS, when in reality they are seen by the public (away from this forum where they are seen as the holygrail) as part of the lowest of the low.

Some may disagree, they are entitled to, but surely most can see the 'whys'.

[Anubis1079]

Allanah, simple explanation, one guy touched on it already, parents are afraid to spank their kids when they are young and act like assholes so they keep pushing their limits and become big assholes by the time they grow up. I'm 28, and I notice a large generation gap between people my age (although a few are definitely assholes) and the kids a few years younger than me, which are mostly spoiled little brats and grow up to be big assholes.

[BADAZZBODY]

I THINK THAT SOCIETY/MEDIA/CULTURE ETC AND VARIOUS OTHER THINGS PLAY A MAJOR PART IN HOW MEN VIEW WOMEN..
MOSTLY ITS BECAUSE MEN NOW VIEW WOMEN AND OR TS WOMEN AS OBJECTS..WE ARE HIGHLY EXPLOITED SEXUALLY..AND WE ARE JUDGED ON LOOKS AND OUR BODY..
MEN ARE VISUAL..WITH WOMAN WE LOOK 4 A GOOD MAN FIRST OPPOSED TO LOOKS, SECURITY, SOMEONE NICE THATS GONNA RESPECT US AND TREAT US LIKE GOLD..
WITH MEN THEY LOOKING AT A PRETTY FACE AZZ TITS AND THE MENTAL IS LAST..LOL I THINK MOST MEN KNOW HOW AND WHAT TO DO TO BE A GENTALMEN..AS LONG AS THEY STAY IN LUST OR STILL WANTING THAT PERSON..THEY OPEN DOORS SHOW U ALL THE ATTENTION, AND SHOW ALL THE PROPER CHARATERISTICS OF A GOOD GENTELMEN..USALLY ONCE THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT..THE STORY CHANGES..

DOESNT MATTER IF U A ESCORT OR HAVE A 9 TO 5 ..CAUSE EVEN NON ESCORTING WOMEN GO THROUGH THE SAME PROBLEMS WITH HOW MEN
TREAT THEM. THEY GET FUKED AND IGNORED WHEN HE AINT HAVE TO WORK TO GET IT ..IF SHE CHARGED..SHE GOT SOMETHING OUT OF IT ..SO BY HIM IGNORING HER SHE LIKE FUK IT..SO ESCORTS GOT THE UPPER HAND. ITS NOT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE CAUSE SHE CAN CHEAT ALSO AND NOT GET NOFFIN BUT A WET ASS.


AND IF MEN STOP LOOKING FOR JUST PHYSICAL APPEALING AS #1 PRIORITY AND LOOK FOR IF U AND HER ARE MENTALLY COMPATIABLE.

MOST OF THESE LOSER MEN ARE USALLY PRODUCTS OF MESSED UP RELATIONSHIPS CAUSE THEY CANT HANDLE LOST LOVE LIKE A WOMAN CAN ..SO THEY DONT WANT TO LET A WOMEN GET TO CLOSE TO THEIR HEART CAUSE THEY SCARED OF THE FELLING THEY HAD WHEN IT GOT BROKEN SO THEY GO AROUND JUST LOOKING FOR WHAT THEY WANT..NOFFIN MORE.

IN ORDER TO GET A GOOD MAN U HAVE TO BE A GOOD WOMEN U MIGHT HAVE TO SORT THROUGH ALOT OF TRASH..AND MOST OF THE MEN U HAVE TO SORT THROUGH ARE NOT GONNA BE FOR U..U USALLY KNOW THAT RIGHT OFF THE BAT WHO GOOD AND WHOS NOT..WHEN A GOOD MAN COMES U KNOW IT..ALOT OF WOMEN IGNORE THE SIGNS, FROM THE JUMP AND THEN GAG N THE END AND VISE VERSA

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

You are quite right Hara. Among men and women, etiquette is fast becoming an endangered species.

On another note: A few comments have been made about men standing when a woman leaves the table. Well, it depends on the setting. IMO, the rule is something people might do during very formal (i.e. black tie)occasions or in a ritzy restaurant.

Etiquette should not be divorced from common sense. Take note of your surroundings, your dining partner(s,) the occasion of the event, and act appropriately.


I agree with you braveman! :P



I think it all boils down to how parents are raising their kids today. These days, not very many people have good manners, morals, etiquette and breeding like they used to. ;)

~Kisses.

HTG


There are a lot of families without a father (or father figure) to pass along and teach those manners to their sons.



.

I know TrueBeauty TS. Although I believe, that not having a father or father figure growing up isn't an excuse for NOT having good manners, morals, etiquette and breeding. Single moms and Dad's could still teach a little bit of each to their children IF they really wanted to as in finding time that is to TEACH them. ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

[igotmacedbymimi:(]

DOESNT MATTER IF U A ESCORT OR HAVE A 9 TO 5 ..CAUSE EVEN NON ESCORTING WOMEN GO THROUGH THE SAME PROBLEMS WITH HOW MEN
TREAT THEM. THEY GET FUKED AND IGNORED WHEN HE AINT HAVE TO WORK TO GET IT ..IF SHE CHARGED..SHE GOT SOMETHING OUT OF IT ..SO BY HIM IGNORING HER SHE LIKE FUK IT..SO ESCORTS GOT THE UPPER HAND. ITS NOT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE CAUSE SHE CAN CHEAT ALSO AND NOT GET NOFFIN BUT A WET ASS.


And that is EXACTLY the attitude i was talking about.

Because youve been in the industry now for some time, your perception of what 'sex' is, is different...it is a tainted perspective.

As with any industry you go in, when you are on the inside it is always different from the outside.

Maybe you see what i mean, its not your fault and im not saying you are to blame, not at all...but to some people sex is not a material commodity that should be bought or sold.

It is the media (again we go back to that word) and tools of the media (radio, internet, tv, cinema, newspapers, magazines etc etc) which have given the whole 'sex is money' attitude. Somewhere down the line (you might be getting good money fairplay), but some guy is sitting in his 10 million dollar mansion and huge swimming pool, laughing at all the suckers that hes managed to whisk up into this state of life. He is the one making the real profit because HE MADE 'THE GAME'.

It might be hard for some (not just the girls on here either, infact definately not just the girls, from what u see, most the girls on here although sell themselves do have compassion and feelings aswell) but people have to accept that IN OTHER CULTURES AND EVEN IN OUR OWN CULTURE THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE SEX OUT OF 'LOVE'...Love is something very special and that is the point that people are missing.

When you love someone, sex does not have a monetary value. When you love someone you care for each other and support each other out of each others love...love is not dependant on money or material goods...if someones version of 'love' in this western world is dominated by possesions, greed and material then they truly have a SAD SAD LIFE...if i ever got like that then i would SERIOUSLY CONSIDER TAKING A LOOK AT MY OWN VALUES AND OWN LIFE.

It is a horrible outlook to have but unfortunately such is the case now because its whats been implanted in western media for years now.

[62des]

Well I open doors for women and everything. But with all these cries for equal rights for women, I guess they think since she's an independent woman, she can do it herself.

[hondarobot]

I skipped ahead and didn't read this whole thread, but yes, us guys should open doors and do whatever for women. It's kinda stupid, but that's what we do.

They have nice tits and ass. We open the door. Us guys have it easy when you really think about it. Of course, there is the nagging. . .

:?

[BADAZZBODY]

DOESNT MATTER IF U A ESCORT OR HAVE A 9 TO 5 ..CAUSE EVEN NON ESCORTING WOMEN GO THROUGH THE SAME PROBLEMS WITH HOW MEN
TREAT THEM. THEY GET FUKED AND IGNORED WHEN HE AINT HAVE TO WORK TO GET IT ..IF SHE CHARGED..SHE GOT SOMETHING OUT OF IT ..SO BY HIM IGNORING HER SHE LIKE FUK IT..SO ESCORTS GOT THE UPPER HAND. ITS NOT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE CAUSE SHE CAN CHEAT ALSO AND NOT GET NOFFIN BUT A WET ASS.


And that is EXACTLY the attitude i was talking about.

Because youve been in the industry now for some time, your perception of what 'sex' is, is different...it is a tainted perspective.

As with any industry you go in, when you are on the inside it is always different from the outside.

Maybe you see what i mean, its not your fault and im not saying you are to blame, not at all...but to some people sex is not a material commodity that should be bought or sold.

It is the media (again we go back to that word) and tools of the media (radio, internet, tv, cinema, newspapers, magazines etc etc) which have given the whole 'sex is money' attitude. Somewhere down the line (you might be getting good money fairplay), but some guy is sitting in his 10 million dollar mansion and huge swimming pool, laughing at all the suckers that hes managed to whisk up into this state of life. He is the one making the real profit because HE MADE 'THE GAME'.

It might be hard for some (not just the girls on here either, infact definately not just the girls, from what u see, most the girls on here although sell themselves do have compassion and feelings aswell) but people have to accept that IN OTHER CULTURES AND EVEN IN OUR OWN CULTURE THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE SEX OUT OF 'LOVE'...Love is something very special and that is the point that people are missing.

When you love someone, sex does not have a monetary value. When you love someone you care for each other and support each other out of each others love...love is not dependant on money or material goods...if someones version of 'love' in this western world is dominated by possesions, greed and material then they truly have a SAD SAD LIFE...if i ever got like that then i would SERIOUSLY CONSIDER TAKING A LOOK AT MY OWN VALUES AND OWN LIFE.

It is a horrible outlook to have but unfortunately such is the case now because its whats been implanted in western media for years now.

OK I SYMPATHIZE WITH U BUT ITS JUST MY OPINION OF Y MEN ARE THEY WAY THEY ARE..BUT ITS HARD TO TAKE YOUR FELLING AND OPINION SERIOUSLY ..FROM READING YOUR FIRST POST OF HOW U GOT MACES GOT YOUR MONEY TOOKEN JUST TO SUK A DICK..BUT ITS ALL GOOD..

FOR THE RECORD IVE BEEN IN LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS MOSTLY ALL MY LIFE EVEN AS A ESCORT ONE 6 ANOTHER 2 AND ANOTHER 4 1/2
LONGER THAN MOST PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MARRIED..SO DONT TAKE MY OPINION AND RUN WITH IT..I KNOW THE VALUE OF LOVE..BUT THAT WAS NOT THE QUESTION ..ITS Y MEN ARE NOT GENTALMEN..AND AND THEY WAY U REPRESENT YOUR SELF ESCORT OR NOT..WELL REALLY BE HOW U ARE TREATED AND RESPECTED..SOME TRASH CANT HELP EVEN IF U REPRESENT YOUR SELF RIGHT ..BUT FOR THE MOST PART IT IS WHAT IT IS..

WOMEN ARE VIEWED AS OBJECT SO THATS ALOT OF THE REASON Y MEN DONT TREAT US AS WE SHOULD

U CAN LOOK ON TV AND SEE TWO GIRLS MAKING OUT ALL THE TIME AND MEN BE LIKE DAMN THATS HOT ..MEDIA PERCEPTION ON GAY FEMALES IS MORE EXCEPTED SO MUCH ITS LIKE ITS THE NORM THEN ANY MALE 4 MALE OR MALE FOR TS LOOKED DOWN AS WTF ILL YUCK..BUT BEHIND CLOSED DOORS ITS JUST AS NORMAL AS STRAIGHT UP SEX..ALL BECAUSE OF MEN AND THEIR PRECIPTION OF THE WOMEN..WHICH INTERNS CONVEYS ON HOW MEN TREAT THEM..

[NYTSJulie]

I agree there a few gentlemen left. I dont think its the guys fault though, I think its women and they seem to settle for less today. I see a lot fewer relationships today then I did even 10 years ago. Girls seem to put out a lot easier, and guys expect sex a lot sooner if not the first night.

[elo]

In germany we don´t usually open the door for someone because she/he belongs to a certain gender.
When we open for us the door and we see someone is behind us we go onward and hold the door as long open as we can.
We think much of equal rights.

[dabaldone]

Being a gentleman these day's shock most women. When my gf and I first met. She thought it was an act that would ware out. Well, I still open doors, pull out chairs and rise from the table when a lady leaves/arrives. But, I'm an OG.

[juliana_dominguez]

i am very lucky that my boyfriend is such a gentleman, he opens the door for me, opens the door of the car too, stands up when im going to the ladies room, whenever we're out dining, he also, and i remember that when we walk on the street, he holds my hand and keeps me safe, i love it!, i love him! :D

[dskreet2]

It seems like plain and simple manners amongst most men are gone these days...

Wha tever happened to opening doors for a lady- pulling her chair out to sit- or standing when a lady leaves the table????

I'm lucky that my BF is one-

But I find bad manners amongst men rampant these days-

Especially YOUNG men.

Not only manners, but respect and kindness in general seems to be a smaller and smaller needle in a haystack.!!!

But I hold doors for guys too! Its only about kindness for your fellow man or woman.

[Leverage87]

I tend to be gentlemanly, but on the whole, yeah I agree, people, a lot of guys mostly, seem to be more asholeish these days, like last week I was walking into a restaraunt and I held open the door for some people that were leaving, and they said happy holidays, and as I started to walk in, they turned around and said "by the way, fuck you" and it caught me totally off guard so I just forgot about it and went in.

I lay the blame on society. These days all the music is about 'slapping a hoe' and just generally being disrespectful to everyone. Damn kids and their modern noise that they call music (Ironic that I'm saying this, yet I'm only 20)

[Fox]

... These days all the music is about 'slapping a hoe' and just generally being disrespectful to everyone. Damn kids and their modern noise that they call music (Ironic that I'm saying this, yet I'm only 20)

While I agree with your sentiment about demeaning lyrics, I hope you're not dismissing all new music (rap or otherwise). There's still some good stuff coming out that has a real message behind it. The biggest problem is those are the songs that get airplay priority (when editted), or in the clubs. Some of the songs with real messages need better beats, I guess. :P

[bezane]

All fine and good. Lots of these hot girls don't date gentlemen. They get all hot and want to fuck a guy for whatever. And after two dates this week where I couldn't have been more of a gentleman, well the girls should have been ladies to me and treated me with respect.

I'm over it. Why don't you only go out with guys that ARE gentlemen and stop giving everyone a free pass because of their money or looks. Something tells me they'll get their act together real quick when they get ZERO action.

[Leverage87]

Fox, I agree with you, the music that gets played is usually the demeaning stuff, but that aside, I usually just dont like todays music at all (some bands aside) I generally listen to 80s music.

I wish high schools would make etiquette and mannerism classes mandatory (I took my optional one in High School, at first just for the easy grade, then I realized that generally assholes die angry and unhappy)

[hwbs]

i find a lot of women dont say thank you when u hold a door 4 them...when i ride the train more times than not i give up my seat for someone else...i have good manners but i see a lot of the opposite sex not very appreciative 4 that....

[ghbryans1]

It's all in how you're taught. Look at what's on TV, especially kids TV, listen to what people are taught and you have your answer.

[Karnij]

well my two cent on this goes like this, a man expect something in return, and a woman expect nothing in return, now before you get your underwears in a bunch this is what I mean, ie a gentlemen opens a door for a woman all he expect in return is a "thank you and a smile", not all woman, but some will not say a word and expect you to do that for them anyway, now once the gentlemen has his full of "lack of gratitude" he tends to become less of a gentlemen.in a sense men are becoming more desensitized over time.

and men only want to be noticed by that woman, and woman want to be notice by all men, and for me i don't expect a phone number or anything like that, things have a way of coming full circle.

[Felicia Katt]

You should be courteous and a gentleman because it is the right thing to do, not to get laid or get ladylike behavior in return.

Too many people think keeping it rude is keeping it real, and forget that virtue is its own reward.

FK

[Leverage87]

Braveman, I'm not trying to point a finger at hip-hop, I'm just saying that a lot (in almost all genres, well, I'm guessing its not to present in like... I dunno christian music) of popular music today has lyrics condoning domestic violence and treating women like sexual objects.

And thanks to music videos, a lot of young impressionable teens see this sort of 'rockstar' style of doing things and think its pretty fucking bad ass.

I hope that this can help our misunderstanding of my prievous posts, I do not hate hip-hop, I do like some of it, but like I said earlier, my main musical tastes reside in the 80s (and earlier for that matter)

[cockgobbler]

Like Dave Chappelle said:

"Chivarly is dead, and women killed it!"

[AllanahStarrNYC]

You should be courteous and a gentleman because it is the right thing to do, not to get laid or get ladylike behavior in return.

Too many people think keeping it rude is keeping it real, and forget that virtue is its own reward.

FK

BEST response yet.

[Quinn]

i find a lot of women dont say thank you when u hold a door 4 them...when i ride the train more times than not i give up my seat for someone else...i have good manners but i see a lot of the opposite sex not very appreciative 4 that....

That's because there are even fewer true ladies left in the world than there are true gentelman. Both are dying breeds, at least here in the United States.

-Quinn

[elo]

Please correct me if i´m wrong.

The girls who posted here want the same rights that man have.I support you in that.I don´t see any reason to suppress half of the population.Plus you want a special status because...you claim to be what?The "weak" gender?I don´t see a reason to treat someone better or worse because someone belongs to a certain gender.

[arnie666]

There are so few gentlemen left because there are so many women thinking it is perfectly acceptable to piss in the street , commentate at football matches and cheer at a boxing match when one bloke gets knocked out when they should rightly feel faint. Women even pretend now to understand football. Nothing puts me off more watching a football match than some girls squeaky bloody voice, find myself looking at her tits more than the match.

I expect there are still ladies out there , but there are far too many geezer birds muddying the water for them. You can't have it both ways girls, know your limits.

[bezane]

Again I repeat. GIRLS.....please make it a requirement that men treat you like a lady or don't date them. They will change or go out with their friends where they have an audience and are told how bad and cool they are.

I'm saddened because I've lost battles to "bad boys," I think I'm a pretty mischievious bad boy with my girls. Just done with class, elegance and caring.

But stop fawning over the degenerates and stop trying to teach grown men manners. Go for the ones that are deserving. Please.

And just a note. Expecting something in return because you used your gentleman skills is more like being a con artist and should be considered worse than being no gentleman at all.

I ask some of the girls here. Now that I'm ugly, old and haggard, I tend to have gravitated to slow, grinding lovemaking and preferably done with patience and the same woman. Has pornography become more of an outlet for fetish and thrills than romantic eroticism? Treatment of women and actually sex partners in general gives off a lack of respect. Not sure. Just asking.

[AllanahStarrNYC]

Please correct me if i´m wrong.

The girls who posted here want the same rights that man have.I support you in that.I don´t see any reason to suppress half of the population.Plus you want a special status because...you claim to be what?The "weak" gender?I don´t see a reason to treat someone better or worse because someone belongs to a certain gender.

What does equal rights, equal pay, have to do with common courtesy and being polite as a man?

[Sly Fox]

you have experience with German (men) ?
I hope, you will do it.

[elo]

What does equal rights, equal pay, have to do with common courtesy and being polite as a man?I´m absolutely for being polite as a human to humans.I am just wondering why some people think they have a moral right for a special status because they belong to a certain gender?

[TrueBeauty TS]

You should be courteous and a gentleman because it is the right thing to do, not to get laid or get ladylike behavior in return.

Too many people think keeping it rude is keeping it real, and forget that virtue is its own reward.

FK

BEST response yet.



AWWWWW...wtf??? :evil:


That's because the bitch stole my line!!!!




.

[FREEFALLL666]

I think most of the problem is the equal rights movement, girls want to be treated just like guys but, as soon as it comes to moving things its "here random guy carry this" you see it happen with doors too. A girl rarely holds a door open for a guy but expects the guy to hold the door open for them, then you have what I call the humor failiure, they want to join in the jokes, they want to be able to rip the piss, but the second you direct it back they get upseat. Now if we see people DEMAND the same treatment, BUT, expect the same priviledges and extras then we start to see it as wrong.

I have a little sister, shes 21 and a Psycology Degree holder, she is also as highly trained a martial artist as me, I have seen her on 4 occasions snap the punchball chain in training. She ALWAYS expects me to carry heavy bags and boxes for her. She NEVER offers me a coffe, but takes offense when she isnt offered a cup of tea.

Now that exsists with many girls, the best freinds I have ever had are the girls who act like equals, who just decide that heavy thing needs moving and they are going to do it. If you ask em if they want help they turn to you and say "Naa I got it" not "Oh cause Im a woman?" or "well you move it for me". These girls are the types who you go down to the pub and you start ripping the piss out of each other and they join in, and they TAKE as good as they give, hell one of them prefered to verbally spar with me BECAUSE of my cruel barbed humor. She WANTED me to say shit like "Blonde bimbo" (she was intelligent but came out with gems) she didnt go into the "Oh im clever, i make half of you look dumb, how dare you" she would fire back lines equally as barbed and even laugh at all the jokes you directed back.

Men ALWAYS have to ask girls out, hell when you are on a date, the guy has to keep up with the flowers, jewels, paying for meals etc.. If a girl offers to pay for a meal or a trip out more often than not they will get offended when you say OK.

Another MAJOR impact is the horrendous misuse of the RAPE claim. A girl sleeps with a guy, regrets it and calls rape, the guys life is now ruined, the girl if prosecuted for the lie, is only sentanced to weeks inside often they get away with minor fines. The poor guys life is ruined and the girls? The girl is "forgiven" she can walk around town and gets sympathy whereas the guy has to move town and if he has the guts to turn up in his old home town, he is treated with contempt and hatred because he was lied about, he is a target for violence, but the girl is a target for sympathy.

[Quinn]

Men ALWAYS have to ask girls out, hell when you are on a date, the guy has to keep up with the flowers, jewels, paying for meals etc.. If a girl offers to pay for a meal or a trip out more often than not they will get offended when you say OK.

I think this depends upon where you live. While living in NYC, I was asked out frequently by women I knew from university, my building, or whatever. Many of the women that live there won't hear of you paying there way (at least until a more intimate rapport is established), usually because they want to demonstrate to you that they are your equal.

Living hear in the Buckhead section of Atlanta, I've noticed that women aren't afraid to ask a guy out or hit on him either. Conversely, when I'm in Central Goergia, where I'm currently engaged in a number or real estate projects, I have to deal with women that are very traditional. They'll drop lots of hints, but they won't ask you out – and when you do go out, you’re expected to pay. Like I said, it all depends upon where you live.

-Quinn

[thx1138]

Increasing rudeness is merely another symptom of a declining civilization. Politeness is one of the first things to go as the day to day struggle to survive gets harder and harder.

[bilko]

you ladys wanted equal rights ,so you got it.

[tsmandy]

It seems like this topic resonates with a good number of people.

For me there is a balance in what I feel comfortable with. When I'm dating a guy I like them to be helpful, opening doors if my hands are full (and noticing that my hands are full) helping me carry things (just like I would do for them, for any friend that I hang out with) and in general paying attention to my well being. But when I drive somewhere, I don't want a guy to make a big show of being the one to drive or if I'm the passenger insisting on letting me in and out of the car. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself. Helpless is not my schtick. In all relationships I desire balance. Care and concern given out of respect of one another as people.

It doesn't bother me when guys are upholding old-fashioned gender roles, certainly not enough to be curt or unpleasant. After a while, I may say: "I like to sometimes walk into a building first".

I consider myself a feminist, and I think it is possible to both be a feminist and someone who appreciates a thoughtful man.

Of course there are important exceptions. When I am in a situation where other people will be offended by my male companions behavior, I appreciate discretion, and have no qualm with such behavior.

As for the general level of thoughtlessness in younger guys...well, I think people are just less concerned with one another's well being. Many people are alienated, upset, and numb. This gets played out on large societal levels where a lucky few wash their hands of everyone else, and on a personal level where everyone is always in competition, in one way or another thinking about themselves.

So I think some younger guys just don't give a shit. They don't give a shit about manners, they don't give a shit about being helpful, they don't give a shit about your well being, they just care about themselves.

No matter what your feeling is about holding doors for women, a real gentleman is a guy who cares about his female companions well being. If she likes you to open the door, and you want to open the door, then your'e a perfect match.

xoxo
Mandy
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mandytgirl/

[Legend]

Common courtesy should be shown to everyone.

[Trans Mission]

I respectfully disagree.

My parents divorced when I was very young. My mother was the one who taught me manners. A single parent, whether male or female, is responsible for the child's complete development.

While in a romantic sense, I agree. You are, however, completely lost!

I too, came from a broken home, raised by a Mom, so in reality you are half-right. A single parent should instill the correct values, but when income is an issue and child support doesn't exist, some Mothers are forced to work copious hours to fill financial voids that other parents aren't required to fill.

In their altruistic attempt at preserving the nest, Moms who work these hours have a hard time relating to pubescent teen males and these males tend to not , initially anyhow, adapt to the stringent criteria society has impressed upon their peer group, creating outcasts.

Wait, am I giving too much of myself away here 8)

How do you mean I'm "completely lost?" Oh, you must mean that you disagree with me to a poing. That's cool.

Trust me, my mother worked multiple jobs to provide for her children. Nothing to do with "romantic senses," but cold reality. Invest in her childrens's social and educational development or risk leashing , as you put it, outcasts into society.

Every family is different, whether they are headed by one or two parents.
There are plenty of uncouth young men who grew up in homes where fathers/older male figures were present.

So, keeping in the spirit of etiquette, I will not say that you are lost. I'll just say that I respectully disagree with you.


Wow, you completely missed my point in your zeal to rebut. We are actually saying the same thing, just in different ways. After rereading my post "lost" was a bit harsh. I just meant thinking a single Mom household is capable of churning out sons as well rounded as a complete family unit is somewhat naive.

Yes, there are amazing single Moms capable of producing the healthiest stock of male sons possible, I just don't think it is the norm. Single mothers face adversity that not many other people experience. Jackie Kennedy was aware of this and sent her son to boxing as she felt he (JFK Jr.)needed a male presence in his life to be healthy in adulthood. Hence my point about monetary inadequacies creating problems for SOME mothers.(not all Mothers can afford special Golden Glove treatment.)

Concordantly, you're being too literal with what I said about "outcasts." I merely meant that some teen males that don't have a father figure act out in societally unapproved ways making them temporary outcasts--That was me.

As far as every family being different.....well, yeah! Of course, I understand that there is no rigid or sweeping generalization that can apply to ANY entire group of Americans, or more broadly, people for that matter.

What I meant about "Romantic" was, Yes, I want to believe that "pie in the sky belief."..but The COLD reality as you put it, is single Mothers are up against socio-economic factors that not many other Americans are up against. And in the face of that adversity not all men raised by single mothers have the societal advantages as men raised in a sound family unit.

With that said, Braveman, I apologize for calling you "Lost". I didn't necessarily mean it in a negative way, but I retract it nonetheless.

If only you were a "Hot, Hung angel" we could kiss and make up, but that is out of the question :wink:

[TJ347]

Same shit, different day... yet again.

To wish someone to behave like a gentleman, you must first be certain you behave like a lady. Not sure that's exactly how it goes, but I heard that saying a few times growing up, mostly from my grandmother and other women her age. Interestingly enough, they were passing this along to some of my female cousins, none of whom, I might add, are what I believe one could properly call "ladylike".

So, once again, it's a case of people expecting things that they haven't earned, which is, of course, nothing new. In a sentence, there's so few gentlemen left because there are so few ladies left... and without one, how long can you expect the other to exist?

[Trans Mission]

Same shit, different day... yet again.

To wish someone to behave like a gentleman, you must first be certain you behave like a lady. Not sure that's exactly how it goes, but I heard that saying a few times growing up, mostly from my grandmother and other women her age. Interestingly enough, they were passing this along to some of my female cousins, none of whom, I might add, are what I believe one could properly call "ladylike".

So, once again, it's a case of people expecting things that they haven't earned, which is, of course, nothing new. In a sentence, there's so few gentlemen left because there are so few ladies left... and without one, how long can you expect the other to exist?

Morals, common courtesy and socially acceptable behavior are all completely subjective.


I agree, you reap what you sow and ladies aren't reaping many gentleman by reason of lack of sowing,.

[TJ347]

No wonder men and women have trouble communicating. People on both sides are making generalizations. :roll:

Not that that's new at all either, now is it? Anyway, my thing is (and I think a few other posters appear to be of a similar mindset), why do so many women confuse being a woman with being a lady, first off... And secondly, why is it that so many women think they're owed something for simply being women?

I don't disagree with Felicia that being a gentleman is something you should do without the expectation of any reward, but I believe that a woman who encounters a gentleman should be appreciative, which is all too often not the case, and thus we get "where are all the gentlemen" questions in various forms every now and again. Being appreciative of the courtesy of a gentleman is not giving him a reward... it's a part of being a lady. And if that is beyond the understanding of any woman, then she simply isn't a lady, like it or not.

[Trans Mission]

If only you were a "Hot, Hung angel" we could kiss and make up, but that is out of the question :wink:

That last line was funny. :lol:

I'll make this brief> Yes I think we are generally in agreement.

Thx-Braveman, I'm not into grinding personal axes online!

[MacShreach]

To wish someone to behave like a gentleman, you must first be certain you behave like a lady.

Yup. The thing is in the modern world men are very familiar with the kind of woman who thinks that ANY gesture that I would call simple good manners-- all the holding door, walk on the outside, let her go first things I do routinely-- is simple condescension. We have all, I suspect, been repaid our courtesy by a few cutting words of derision implying that as a woman she's good enough to open her own doors or whatever.

You get a radar for women like that and the first hint of it you just treat her like another guy, since that is what she obviously wants to be, or at least I do. I give anyone the benefit of the doubt the first time, but nobody fucks me around twice, so....

I'm not suggesting that any of the girls posting in this thread are anything other than ladylike but TJ is right. If women send men signals that making an effort is not appreciated, they'll stop.

:shrug

[iloveshemales77]

There are so few gentlemen left because there are so many women thinking it is perfectly acceptable to piss in the street , commentate at football matches and cheer at a boxing match when one bloke gets knocked out when they should rightly feel faint. ...

I expect there are still ladies out there , but there are far too many geezer birds muddying the water for them. You can't have it both ways girls, know your limits.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Heard this once:
"You don't have to hold the door open for me just because I'm a woman"
"No, I have to because I'm a gentleman"

[KiraHarden]

We as woman are not entitled to special treatment just because we are woman. Courtesy goes both ways. Woman expect too much and very few are willing to give anything back in return. If a guy opens the car door for you, (say thank you) and you had better lean over and unlock his door.

If a guy buys you a drink, buy him one. The guy I'm with is a gentleman, he will hold my arm, open doors for me, let me order first, etc etc etc, but I also buy him dinner occasionally, buy two tickets so we can see his Milwaukee Bucks play, cook for him, run to the door to kiss him, buy him cards , or slip a cute note in his jacket pocket saying thank you for that something special he did for me . Simply put I appreciate everything he does for me. Men love to feel appreciated as well, and not just graced by our presence GIRLS!

I believe that all people should be treated with respect regardless of Gender, age, race , or creed. Thats what this society is lacking and we should work on that as well, and start behaving more like Humans than animals.

[wombat33]

It seems like plain and simple manners amongst most men are gone these days...

Wha tever happened to opening doors for a lady- pulling her chair out to sit- or standing when a lady leaves the table????

I'm lucky that my BF is one-

But I find bad manners amongst men rampant these days-

Especially YOUNG men.


MOST WOMEN ARE ANNOYED AT GUYS OPENING DOORS FOR THEM THESE DAYS.

THEY DON'T NEED US EVER SINCE VIBRATORS CAME ONTO THE SCENE.

BUT I AM A GENTLEMAN. 100%

[TrueBeauty TS]

MOST WOMEN ARE ANNOYED AT GUYS OPENING DOORS FOR THEM THESE DAYS.




Really? REALLY????


I've never, ever, ever, ever encountered someone being angry at someone for holding the door open for them. Never seen it, never heard of it. EVER.

I don't know where you live, but I live in Los Angeles. Everyone is self centered here and I still see people say thank you when the door is opened for them.

AND.... if I am going through the door first, I will hold it open for the next person, female OR male.

I guess that makes me a gentleman.

:wink:


.

[AllanahStarrNYC]

MOST WOMEN ARE ANNOYED AT GUYS OPENING DOORS FOR THEM THESE DAYS.




Really? REALLY????


I've never, ever, ever, ever encountered someone being angry at someone for holding the door open for them. Never seen it, never heard of it. EVER.

I don't know where you live, but I live in Los Angeles. Everyone is self centered here and I still see people say thank you when the door is opened for them.

AND.... if I am going through the door first, I will hold it open for the next person, female OR male.

I guess that makes me a gentleman.

:wink:


.

I hold doors for people all the time no matter what sex too- and I always say thank you and am polite-

[tsmandy]

THEY DON'T NEED US EVER SINCE VIBRATORS CAME ONTO THE SCENE.


Great response. Lol

[62des]

Point blank, some don't deserve to have the door opened for them. Some women don't even fuckin say "thank you", as if its the man's obligation to go out of his way for her. I remember opening the door for numerous girls and no "thanks" or nothing. I even walked behind them once when they were ahead of me and the stupid bitches opened the door for themselves, KNOWING I was behind them and let it hit me. I could've knocked them the fuck out! Some just take it for granted. So don't think that its mandatory for men to be nice because it ain't.

[jamesb121]

It's in all walks of life, its all consistent with the upbrining that you've had.

Good manners cost nothing was what my grandad used to say, rudeness, frankly, is my biggest bugbear in the whole world.

And dont even get me started about people being rude driving cars......

[Tomfurbs]

Emma Clark, the woman who until recently did the voice-over for the London underground, posted some spoof announcements on her website a while back. I remember one of them being (paraphrasing):

'Customer Announcement: Someone smiling at you is not a sign of weakness, but is actually a form of greeting and goodwill'.

This is essentially what this thread topic boils down to I think. Both sexes today are afraid to show weakness of any sort, and so try to appear hard by refusing to be polite.

[orbea847]

I'm 26 and so far every woman I dated or gone out with rather it be coffee or dinner I have always picked up the tab (98%) and it shocks them if I do that or open the door or help them with their jackets etc.

I think its a dying trait

[wombat33]

MOST WOMEN ARE ANNOYED AT GUYS OPENING DOORS FOR THEM THESE DAYS.




Really? REALLY????


I've never, ever, ever, ever encountered someone being angry at someone for holding the door open for them. Never seen it, never heard of it. EVER.

I don't know where you live, but I live in Los Angeles. Everyone is self centered here and I still see people say thank you when the door is opened for them.

AND.... if I am going through the door first, I will hold it open for the next person, female OR male.

I guess that makes me a gentleman.

:wink:


.


Well, I live in New York City. I have been with girls on dates who actually got annoyed at me for opening the car door for them. Mocked me even.
The whole "women's movement".

While there needs to be one for many reasons.........slandering guys for opening a door is not one of them. I told you.............vibrators are rendering us useless. LOL. Thank god I weeded through all of those fake bitches and got a good one.

[the Adrienne Barbeaubot]

I am always a gentleman no matter how courteous or rude a girl is. I also agree that it all boils down to upbringing. I was taught manners and to respect all people no matter what their gender or race or religion might be. Courtesy should be a part of everyones daily life.

[Trogdor]

I can answer this one easily.

Bad Boyz, it's that simple.

I'm 28, and all my life I've been a gentleman and the girls did not give me the time of day, all I got was smeggin, ~Assumes Monty Python in drag falsetto voice~ "I like you alot, and you're cute and all, but can't we just be friends? I'd hate risking the beautiful thing we have now."

And then they go run off to their hoodlem boyfriend. :roll:
And it's always the same sorta fellow: A guy who drinks alot of beer, has snake and skull tattoos on their arms, part of a no name rock band that's never gonna go anywhere ( and if he's a drummer, then his chances of getting chicks doubles for some reason. ) , works only enough to get their smokes and booze, got arrested in the past, and if they do some sorta drug, then up his sucess points more. That's how it is in my neck of the woods. In Detroit, just replace the above mentioned person with a gangsta rapper wannabe.

When someone, especially a frustrated younger guy, is a gentleman and does not get the girls....and then sees how the guys I mentioned in the previous paragraph are getting the girls....and easily too ( sometimes the girls throw themselves to these jerks ), then they will very likely go down that road as well. Cause if they see these hoodlems getting the chicks, why be a gentleman and get less than nothing when you can be a jerk and get the good stuff.

There's an old saying I heard once, "There's not much gold to be earned from being good."

[nobody]

While I still try and open doors and pay for dinners/coffee a lot of guys dont see the point anymore.


IMO, Chivalry developed form women being the weaker sex and now that women have equal rights with men the ways of the past are slowly dieing out. My current girlfriend is an engineer she makes just as much as I do so why should we split the bill or sometimes she should pay for it. Granted I still do nice things for her like hold the door and get her coat when we leave, etc... but it just doesn't have as much meaning as it used to.

[Matador]

It seems like plain and simple manners amongst most men are gone these days...

Whatever happened to opening doors for a lady- pulling her chair out to sit- or standing when a lady leaves the table????

I'm lucky that my BF is one-

But I find bad manners amongst men rampant these days-

Especially YOUNG men.

I've been a lurker here for quite some time. Some of the conversation here takes a rougher tone than I care for, but I always learn something here and I've enjoyed sitting on the sidewalk watching the parade pass by. And I mean that sincerely; I say it without any sarcasm.

My mom's family was from the South and she raised her boy to be a gentleman. I haven't been a boy in many years but her lessons have always stayed with me and they've never let me down. I don't think I've forgotten any of them; in addition to helping her with her coat and opening doors for her, here are other things a gentleman does when he's around a lady:

1. When a gentleman is out with a lady the only thing he has the right to expect is the pleasure of her company.

2. In a restaurant, the gentleman offers to seat the lady with her back to the wall. In this arrangement the lady can see everyone in the room and everyone in the room can see (and appreciate) the lady. This arrangement also helps the gentleman avoid distractions and it allows him to give his full attention to the lady.

3. A gentleman stands when a lady enters the room and he stands both when she leaves and returns to the dining table.

4. When a lady enters a room and there is not sufficient seating, a gentleman leaves the room to find her a new chair so she won't have to sit on a warm chair seat.

5. The gentleman's scent should not compete with the lady's perfume. A gentleman should smell clean and, if at all possible, should avoid wearing cologne or after shave.

6. During social introductions the gentleman is always introduced to the lady ("Mary, I'd like you to meet John."), not the other way around. This is not necessary during professional introductions.

7. During introductions a gentleman always offers his hand to another gentleman but he never shakes hands with a lady unless she first offers her hand to him.

8. A gentleman always finds a way to compliment the lady.

9. A gentleman doesn't use profanity around a lady.

10. A gentleman always removes his hat and sunglasses when conversing with a lady.

11. Good manners and acts of kindness are always appropriate.

12. The appropriate response to a compliment is "Thank you".

Then, too, I remember this. When I was about ten I was at a large family gathering: aunts, uncles, cousins. It was early autumn and one of the first chilly evenings of the season. My cousin had forgotten her jacket, she was shivering, and my mom told me to give her mine. At first I said no, but my mom insisted. "Give your jacket to your cousin." I said "But then I'll be cold." And my mom said "That's right, you'll be cold. But as a gentleman you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that the lady you're with is comfortable." And I gave her my jacket.

Allanah, your post hit home with me and I decided to make it my first on these boards. I hope no one minds.

But you're so right. Good manners are frequently lacking these days. And society is the poorer for that.

[Dan Themann]

Oh be quiet you cunts!!

Guess what, humanity was as bad if not worse years ago- it is just these superficial behaviors you miss, then go back in time.

Allanah is a cunt!

but YOU don't have many friends!!!! PLEB!!

[KiraHarden]

Oh be quiet you cunts!!

Guess what, humanity was as bad if not worse years ago- it is just these superficial behaviors you miss, then go back in time.

Allanah is a cunt!
Enjoy your stay while u can.... BYE BYE!

[Caff_Racer]

Somebody in this post was talking about "good manners, morals, etiquette and breeding".

Breeding - I have none. I consider that I come from the gutter, that I am one of the bitter dregs of humanity.

Etiquette - the olde worlde form of "political correctness". I abhor being politically correct ( I prefer to call a spade a spade), therefore I have no etiquette. In French, "etiquette" means "label". I have no labels, they're too scared of me to stick to me.

Morals - I am proud to say that I have no morals whatever; I sleep well at night, whatever evil deeds or criminal acts (mainly reckless driving - the road is my racetrack and I will nerf you off if and when necessary) I have done during the day.

However, I always have good manners; a highwayman cannot exercise his profession without them. Unless of course the person I am addressing is an Officer of the Law, in which case I will take pride in being as discourteous and rude as humanly possible.

cheers

[TrueBeauty TS]

It seems like plain and simple manners amongst most men are gone these days...

Whatever happened to opening doors for a lady- pulling her chair out to sit- or standing when a lady leaves the table????

I'm lucky that my BF is one-

But I find bad manners amongst men rampant these days-

Especially YOUNG men.

I've been a lurker here for quite some time. Some of the conversation here takes a rougher tone than I care for, but I always learn something here and I've enjoyed sitting on the sidewalk watching the parade pass by. And I mean that sincerely; I say it without any sarcasm.

My mom's family was from the South and she raised her boy to be a gentleman. I haven't been a boy in many years but her lessons have always stayed with me and they've never let me down. I don't think I've forgotten any of them; in addition to helping her with her coat and opening doors for her, here are other things a gentleman does when he's around a lady:

1. When a gentleman is out with a lady the only thing he has the right to expect is the pleasure of her company.

2. In a restaurant, the gentleman offers to seat the lady with her back to the wall. In this arrangement the lady can see everyone in the room and everyone in the room can see (and appreciate) the lady. This arrangement also helps the gentleman avoid distractions and it allows him to give his full attention to the lady.

3. A gentleman stands when a lady enters the room and he stands both when she leaves and returns to the dining table.

4. When a lady enters a room and there is not sufficient seating, a gentleman leaves the room to find her a new chair so she won't have to sit on a warm chair seat.

5. The gentleman's scent should not compete with the lady's perfume. A gentleman should smell clean and, if at all possible, should avoid wearing cologne or after shave.

6. During social introductions the gentleman is always introduced to the lady ("Mary, I'd like you to meet John."), not the other way around. This is not necessary during professional introductions.

7. During introductions a gentleman always offers his hand to another gentleman but he never shakes hands with a lady unless she first offers her hand to him.

8. A gentleman always finds a way to compliment the lady.

9. A gentleman doesn't use profanity around a lady.

10. A gentleman always removes his hat and sunglasses when conversing with a lady.

11. Good manners and acts of kindness are always appropriate.

12. The appropriate response to a compliment is "Thank you".

Then, too, I remember this. When I was about ten I was at a large family gathering: aunts, uncles, cousins. It was early autumn and one of the first chilly evenings of the season. My cousin had forgotten her jacket, she was shivering, and my mom told me to give her mine. At first I said no, but my mom insisted. "Give your jacket to your cousin." I said "But then I'll be cold." And my mom said "That's right, you'll be cold. But as a gentleman you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that the lady you're with is comfortable." And I gave her my jacket.

Allanah, your post hit home with me and I decided to make it my first on these boards. I hope no one minds.

But you're so right. Good manners are frequently lacking these days. And society is the poorer for that.



God Bless you.



.

[xrey]

It seems like plain and simple manners amongst most men are gone these days...

Whatever happened to opening doors for a lady- pulling her chair out to sit- or standing when a lady leaves the table????

I'm lucky that my BF is one-

But I find bad manners amongst men rampant these days-

Especially YOUNG men.

I've been a lurker here for quite some time. Some of the conversation here takes a rougher tone than I care for, but I always learn something here and I've enjoyed sitting on the sidewalk watching the parade pass by. And I mean that sincerely; I say it without any sarcasm.

My mom's family was from the South and she raised her boy to be a gentleman. I haven't been a boy in many years but her lessons have always stayed with me and they've never let me down. I don't think I've forgotten any of them; in addition to helping her with her coat and opening doors for her, here are other things a gentleman does when he's around a lady:

1. When a gentleman is out with a lady the only thing he has the right to expect is the pleasure of her company.

2. In a restaurant, the gentleman offers to seat the lady with her back to the wall. In this arrangement the lady can see everyone in the room and everyone in the room can see (and appreciate) the lady. This arrangement also helps the gentleman avoid distractions and it allows him to give his full attention to the lady.

3. A gentleman stands when a lady enters the room and he stands both when she leaves and returns to the dining table.

4. When a lady enters a room and there is not sufficient seating, a gentleman leaves the room to find her a new chair so she won't have to sit on a warm chair seat.

5. The gentleman's scent should not compete with the lady's perfume. A gentleman should smell clean and, if at all possible, should avoid wearing cologne or after shave.

6. During social introductions the gentleman is always introduced to the lady ("Mary, I'd like you to meet John."), not the other way around. This is not necessary during professional introductions.

7. During introductions a gentleman always offers his hand to another gentleman but he never shakes hands with a lady unless she first offers her hand to him.

8. A gentleman always finds a way to compliment the lady.

9. A gentleman doesn't use profanity around a lady.

10. A gentleman always removes his hat and sunglasses when conversing with a lady.

11. Good manners and acts of kindness are always appropriate.

12. The appropriate response to a compliment is "Thank you".

Then, too, I remember this. When I was about ten I was at a large family gathering: aunts, uncles, cousins. It was early autumn and one of the first chilly evenings of the season. My cousin had forgotten her jacket, she was shivering, and my mom told me to give her mine. At first I said no, but my mom insisted. "Give your jacket to your cousin." I said "But then I'll be cold." And my mom said "That's right, you'll be cold. But as a gentleman you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that the lady you're with is comfortable." And I gave her my jacket.

Allanah, your post hit home with me and I decided to make it my first on these boards. I hope no one minds.

But you're so right. Good manners are frequently lacking these days. And society is the poorer for that.



God Bless you.



.

Standing ovation.

[NYTSJulie]

The old days of a proper courtship seem so romantic. I talk to my Great Aunt often and she tells me what it was like when she was younger. She is my grandmothers sister, my grandmother passed before I was born. She tells stories of how she and my grandmother would get all dressed up in ball gowns and go to dances in the city to meet men. Things were a lot different then they are today.

[Caff_Racer]

The old days of a proper courtship seem so romantic. I talk to my Great Aunt often and she tells me what it was like when she was younger. She is my grandmothers sister, my grandmother passed before I was born. She tells stories of how she and my grandmother would get all dressed up in ball gowns and go to dances in the city to meet men. Things were a lot different then they are today.

Allow me to disagree. It's just the same old crap in a different wrapping. Romance? HAH! There's no such thing as romance...

cheers

[NYTSJulie]

The old days of a proper courtship seem so romantic. I talk to my Great Aunt often and she tells me what it was like when she was younger. She is my grandmothers sister, my grandmother passed before I was born. She tells stories of how she and my grandmother would get all dressed up in ball gowns and go to dances in the city to meet men. Things were a lot different then they are today.

Allow me to disagree. It's just the same old crap in a different wrapping. Romance? HAH! There's no such thing as romance...

cheers

Most men, all they want is to hit it. Thats when I say $$$$$$$$$$$$

[justatransgirl]

Question:
Why there are so few gentlemen left.

Answer:
Because Allanah Starr turned them all into sissy bottom boys...

Giggle,
TS Jamie :-)

[Caff_Racer]

NYTSJulie, I think you misunderstand me. I don't give a fiddler's fart whether I "hit it" or not; indeed I prefer not to "hit it" whenever possible.

All I'm saying is that romance, just like peace, freedom and democracy, is one of humanity's stupid little myths.

cheers

[goldensamba]

It seems like plain and simple manners amongst most men are gone these days...

Wha tever happened to opening doors for a lady- pulling her chair out to sit- or standing when a lady leaves the table????

I'm lucky that my BF is one-

But I find bad manners amongst men rampant these days-

Especially YOUNG men.


The main reason is simple...BAD PARENTING. My parents would never let me get away with some of the crap these younger idiots get away with. Sitting while old ladies stand on trains/subways, not opening doors, wearing hats indoors or at the dinner table. Let's not even start on actual table manners.

That being said.....it seems that with a large number of women if you are a gentleman then you are tryi9ng to get in their pants and you get slated for it. I can see why a few guys just stop trying.

[TJ347]

Because pop culture has legitimized the thug value system, and it is now prevalent in our culture as a whole.

Just caught this post... Late, I know. Still, it's interesting. Very.

You know, I can remember a time, not long ago either, when society was scandalized by the prevalence of groups like Motley Crue... or any male rock musician adorned with countless tats, exhibiting a fondness for eyeliner, and possessing hair teased to the high heavens. The cry was that these people were obsessed with debauchery in general, and that they set a bad example for children. Curious then that "Sex, Drugs And Rock And Roll!" is a celebrated mantra even now, while rap "thugs" (who all to often hail from middle class neighborhoods and never committed a single crime) are blamed for society's slide into the toilet.

Long before 50 Cent and the like, we had Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Elvis. Drug abusers all, but they made great music, so America forgives them their wrongs and celebrate their lives as if they are better examples than 50 Cent is. They aren't. Your taste in music is irrelevant here. This issue is why you think the thugs are worse than the drugs. Take all the time you need to answer that one...

[JamesHunt]

Just caught this post... Late, I know. Still, it's interesting. Very.

You know, I can remember a time, not long ago either, when society was scandalized by the prevalence of groups like Motley Crue... or any male rock musician adorned with countless tats, exhibiting a fondness for eyeliner, and possessing hair teased to the high heavens. The cry was that these people were obsessed with debauchery in general, and that they set a bad example for children. Curious then that "Sex, Drugs And Rock And Roll!" is a celebrated mantra even now, while rap "thugs" (who all to often hail from middle class neighborhoods and never committed a single crime) are blamed for society's slide into the toilet.

Long before 50 Cent and the like, we had Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Elvis. Drug abusers all, but they made great music, so America forgives them their wrongs and celebrate their lives as if they are better examples than 50 Cent is. They aren't. Your taste in music is irrelevant here. This issue is why you think the thugs are worse than the drugs. Take all the time you need to answer that one...

I'll answer it in one nano-second, STFU Oliver :lol:

[bklynboy]

I wish I had a dime for all the times I was at a Bar like the Silver Swan in New York, bought a drink for a lady, yes, held the door open, and made sure they had safe passage home - whether it was finding them a cab (and footing the bill for it) or a simple walk to the subway. Unfortunately, some ladies came to see me as some sort of cash machine. Need you wonder why there are so few of us left? We're tired of being played and all the bullshit.

[TJ347]

Acutally when tyhis thread started over the weekend, I tried to engage a few of the ladies in an intelligent conversation. I Tried to point out that ,among men AND women, civility and grace were fallng by the way side. All they kept on harping on was how men were the culprits. You can't have an rational converstaion when only one party is listening. I gave up.

That's always the way, and it's how so many issues between certain male posters and TG posters started. While any number of guys have said it before and will doubtless say it again, it will remain frustrating as all hell to have this type of bullshit come up again and again, despite the fact that if you look closely, it's always coming from the same people, who refuse to do anything different with respect to the way they live their lives, but nonetheless expect to get more out of them. Sad shit, really.

[bklynboy]

Its just that some of the ladies are . . . clueless

[electric76762000]

nice guys dont get laid

i know, im one of them

[lust4ts]

Neither do guys with giant avatars, does it really need to be that big :roll:

[blckhaze]

Neither do guys with giant avatars, does it really need to be that big :roll:

dunno, but mine is fairly wide and Hara seem to like it :D

[lust4ts]

Neither do guys with giant avatars, does it really need to be that big :roll:

dunno, but mine is fairly wide and Hara seem to like it :D

Lol, it is pretty wide haze, but that guys avatar is fucking massive.

Besides who am I to criticise someone for showing their body on here!

[KiraHarden]

Neither do guys with giant avatars, does it really need to be that big :roll:

dunno, but mine is fairly wide and Hara seem to like it :D
Nice Body! :D

[blckhaze]

Neither do guys with giant avatars, does it really need to be that big :roll:

dunno, but mine is fairly wide and Hara seem to like it :D
Nice Body! :D

thank ya!
*hears doorbell*
Damn kira, you run fast :lol:

[OEMEnemyNum1]

I'm starting to wonder if this all comes down to impressing women. If you can find another way to impress a girl, you don't need to be a gentleman. Thats why the guys with nothing to offer are usually the gentlemen.

But if you have a guy with everything and is a gentleman, then he's probably a player, and a dick. Then you don't want him anyways.

[DaLonelyGuyNJ]

Gentlemen exist. Many GG and TG look only for the superficial....thin bodies, handsome faces, rippling muscles, full heads of hair. I have none of that, but I am a gentleman first and foremost. All I would ever ask would be a chance to prove how good of a man I am. Unfortunately, I never get that chance.

[Trogdor]

Gentlemen exist. Many GG and TG look only for the superficial....thin bodies, handsome faces, rippling muscles, full heads of hair. I have none of that, but I am a gentleman first and foremost. All I would ever ask would be a chance to prove how good of a man I am. Unfortunately, I never get that chance.

I had the same problems back in high school. Until midway through, I was a fat, outta shape kid. I pretty much looked like Bobby Hill with a curly afro...and this was in the mid 90's, BEFORE 'fro's were considered cool again. :P Anyhow, I used to think so long as I was a good person and such, it would not matter....HA! All I got was my ass kicked on a daily basis by the bullies and jocks ( my name given to me by them was BEEFY TITS ), and ignored by the girls. So after my sophmore year in 1996, I trained my ass off in the make-shift gym I made in the basement. Lost 30 or so pounds that summer and while I did some some respect, I only really got respect in my senior year when I hit the weight room when the year began. Also, it helped me got noticed by the girls, and the bullies started to back off once I started getting a bit bigger and stronger. Plus getting rid of the 'fro helped.

Looks plays a BIG part in anything, especially when getting one of the opposite sex, I found out the hard way from experience. Is it correct or not? Who knows.....just that what we look like is what makes a big impression on the opposite sex ( or same sex for some people ). I mean you take 2 guys....both good, decent gentleman.....one of them has a face like Brad Pitt, lean body, wash board abs, nice hair, and so on....the other has a face like Prince Charles, a body like Jim Belushi, hair like Larry Fine, and such......don't matter how nice guy #2 is, because fellow #1 is going to have a better ( and easier ) time getting the girls.

And besides....I myself might be superficial....I want girls with lean bodies, nice hair, who dresses hot, cute faces, etc. I am not attracted to girls who look like Monty Python guys in drag or the cast of the View. But I have worked hard to make myself look better to not only girls and the people around me, but also myself. It did not come easy, and I work hard to make myself presentable to everyone. So therefore, I feel I am sfae to say that I have paid my dues to allow myself to have some sort of standard to what I want from a chick.

Besides, my mother once said to me the reason that marriages and relationships go down the shitter so much these days is that people are not picky enough. And my folks been married 30+ years.

So to DaLonelyGuyNJ, self improvement can be used as a tool to not just make other see you in a better light, but you might feel better yourself. I'll put up some of my own pics like Blckhaze did, once I figure out how to work this new camera I got a few months back. :oops: :lol: :mrgreen:

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Neither do guys with giant avatars, does it really need to be that big :roll:

dunno, but mine is fairly wide and Hara seem to like it :D

Nice Body! :D

Yes indeed! And I luv it! LOL ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

[Trogdor]

Neither do guys with giant avatars, does it really need to be that big :roll:

dunno, but mine is fairly wide and Hara seem to like it :D

Nice Body! :D

Yes indeed! And I luv it! LOL ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

That's it!

*slips on some nutty professor style glasses and starts reading the camera instruction book again and again*

[Deepdarkfucker]

I am a gentleman here at your service Allanah

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Neither do guys with giant avatars, does it really need to be that big :roll:

dunno, but mine is fairly wide and Hara seem to like it :D

Nice Body! :D

Yes indeed! And I luv it! LOL ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

That's it!

*slips on some nutty professor style glasses and starts reading the camera instruction book again and again*

*Taps fingers..waiting in anticipation..LOL ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

[LTR_Seeker]

If a man does akk the gentleman thing in today hip cool society he gets called old fashioned & ancient then so be it it beats callinga woman a ho & treating her as such.

[LTR_Seeker]

To me i think the womens lib movment went too far that if guy does anything for a women alarm bells go off thinking a guy trying to be a boss on control when all he really doing is being a fine man that respects the woman

[Schmidtty]

The plain and simple truth is that girls (as opposed to women) don't respond to politeness and manners.

For a variety of reasons, girls are more likely to respond to the cocky jerks than the gentlemen.

Some say that it's about confidence, but I call BS on that based on personal experience. I'm quick-witted, intelligent, and confident.. I also listen and care about what they have to say and don't see sex as the ultimate goal, which is why I inevitably end up as just a friend.

I'm 24 and have been a caring and respectful gentleman for over a decade. I never had pimples, always dressed with style, but was cursed with "cuteness" rather than "hotness."

My name's dan, nice to meet you all.