something really on my brain

[hwbs]

just want to share something that has been eating at me for some time.. its not about anybody on here but just wanted to share a bit what i have been going through in this scene ...i have made quite a few friends over the years but there is one thing i can't understand ....these girls when they are sad or down and shit like that they want you to drop your whole schedule to help them out. but when all is well u are just a fucking stranger . no picking up the phone , answering voice mail , texts or even instant messages. try to call they either keep u real short or forward to voice mail. now let me set this str8 these girls are friends that i am not currently sleeping with or on a professional basis. just girls i have met over the years.

i just think its pretty fucked up and i am not putting up with it anymore. i just had to go through my address book and lose any numbers for these girls that fit in that category. i wonder if they even realize they do it...i can always tell when thing go south because my phone just starts ringing out of control. i had talked to JWBL about this post but i have just not had the time to get around to it . even if i am dating someone i still try to keep some kind of open line but never get that in return.

this kind of shit eats at me because i do so much to help others but when i need something or someone's help they are never there .i guess it is why i never try to rely on people because they always let u down in the end..but see i am not worried ANYMORE BECAUSE U ARE DELETED WITH YOUR PHONE NUMBER !!!!!

[Trogdor]

:arrow: Welcome to the world of "the nice guy". Where one is the platonic swiss army knife.....where they want you to do everything for them and expect less than nothing in return.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Honestly I don't think it's specifically for the "nice" guy I think it's for "any" guy..........

I LMAO at this board because 98% of the women on here CLAIM to be totally different from this but NEVER respond to this type of thread.

[hwbs]

you are missing my point a little Trogdor... these are girls i am not trying to mess with just people i have gotten to know over the years. i never put up with that on a girlfriend level but i seem to have been letting it happen with my friendships...well not anymore , lmao

[SexyMagdi]

Hmm well I guess they dont consider you much of a close friend.

[hwbs]

yes we all live and learn. btw i am not looking for any sympathy..just telling you about some of the girls you are so mad to have a relationship with , lol..i take the good with the bad..i always know what i am getting myself into..their loss ohh well .

[tsmandy]

Hi Mr. Buckstrap,

Do you find this to be specific amongst trans girls you have met at parties as opposed to anyone else?

I've experienced this a whole lot in life, and sometimes I try to think positively and just see it as part of knowing alot of people, especially people who know alot of other people.

I've lived in many cities across the US, spent a considerable amount of time in countless others in the US and Canada, and I've met a lot of people. I'm outgoing, communicative, sympathetic and helpful; there are many people who, because of this have really grown close to me during their hard times. And then I find myself just not hearing from them. For long periods of time, we grow apart, live separate lives in separate towns (even when we live in the same towns) and develop new friendships and relationships. Sometimes after all of that happens I want my friends to know that I'm still here, and still me, even if they've changed.

Then some people I see, and we just don't know how to say hi, even though we've known each other well at times in the past, sometimes things just feel like so much has happened and I don't really want to have to catch up with old times that maybe weren't so fond.

I've also felt at times like I know way too many people, and I start to become overwhelmed with my small world, and lack of anonymity. Whether that sometimes makes me reclusive, or preoccupied with a few major relationships.

I guess all I'm saying is that alot of people have a difficult time maintaining friendships, or even acquaintances, throw in stress from transitioning, or sex-work, and you are dealing with a complicated group of people.

Of course some people are just full of themselves and only want friends who can get them more status or wealth. (probably many, but I don't tend to surround myself with friends like that.)

Congratulations on clearing up your phone.

xoxo
mandy

[mbf]

tsmandy has summed it up very well

[elo]

Its the same when a "friend" needs money.You borrow it them.You are the best buddy to them.But when you want it back,they have this and that problems why they can´t give it back now.You ask several times for it and every time you ask the "friendship" disbands more and more.But of course they have money for other things.

I learned from such and other experiences that i would only offer much time to help someone if he or she is a close friend.


Such people you described don´t see you as a friend.They see you as a milk cow.

[TrueBeauty TS]

Everything you said could be said of guys as well. It has nothing to do with TS's per se. This is a trait that can be found in all humans. In fact, I've had guys on this board ignore me when times are good, and come crying to me when times are tough. I don't get that anymore because I don't put up with it. Fly away little bird. Fly, fly, fly...


You need to either pick better quality people to hang out with or see why you attract those people to begin with.



.

[flabbybody]

I understand the financial burdens of transitioning... rent, cell phone bills, clothes, surgeries, family responsibilities. There's a couple of girls I help out (they usually call at the beginning of the month).
and I don't expect anything in return.

What I'd love to know is what they really think of me deep down. Are they genuinely grateful, or do they think I'm a dopey sap who can't say no.? I'll never ask and they'll never say.

[hondarobot]

Everything you said could be said of guys as well. It has nothing to do with TS's per se. This is a trait that can be found in all humans. In fact, I've had guys on this board ignore me when times are good, and come crying to me when times are tough. I don't get that anymore because I don't put up with it. Fly away little bird. Fly, fly, fly...


You need to either pick better quality people to hang out with or see why you attract those people to begin with.



.

People generally use other people for a variety of reasons. It's neither noble nor constructive. Most people are scared of other people, that's the problem.

It's not really that much of an issue here, really. You can check in, but you can't check out.

:wink:

[TrueBeauty TS]

Are they genuinely grateful, or do they think I'm a dopey sap who can't say no.? I'll never ask and they'll never say.


That's wisdom, my friend. That's real wisdom.

8)



.

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

It's about time Pickles! ;)

LIBERATION!

LOL

~Kisses.

HTG

[Quinn]

What I'd love to know is what they really think of me deep down. Are they genuinely grateful, or do they think I'm a dopey sap who can't say no.? I'll never ask and they'll never say.

My guess is that you already know the answer, deep down inside yourself.

-Quinn

[TrueBeauty TS]

I understand the financial burdens of transitioning... rent, cell phone bills, clothes, surgeries, family responsibilities. There's a couple of girls I help out (they usually call at the beginning of the month).
and I don't expect anything in return.



BTW, you don't mind if I send you a couple PM's in a few days, do you?

:wink:



.

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

LMAO! :lol:

~Kisses.

HTG

[hwbs]

oh no i find this most with ts but that just has to be my particular situation. i am not generalizing for a give everyone a clean slate ...


and to answer your question Mandy these aren't girls i met at the party. they just want my wallet , lmao. i just have another thing besides my wallet that they can't swallow :twisted:

[peggygee]

Some people simply are not capable of giving. :shrug

It may because they have not reached the point in their emotional
or psychological development or perhaps because they are only
capable of thinking of themselves.

As a result we may only have a few people in our live's to confide in
and who can and will empathize with us in our concerns.

This can be a trusted friend, family member, therapist, etc.

But the sad reality is that the people that we are there for, or that we
will go out on a limb for, can't or won't always do the same for us.

[crayons]

this is why boosting their ego with "whose the hottest girl here" threads and the constant "oh my GOD she is even hotter than a GG" makes their heads so big they actually think it's true.

if you seriously consider someone who does porn a "star" then you have just as many delusions as the person doing it. remember: the truth is never comfortable- and nobody will be pleased by it. it's just a reality.

[Night Rider]

this is why boosting their ego with "whose the hottest girl here" threads and the constant "oh my GOD she is even hotter than a GG" makes their heads so big they actually think it's true.

if you seriously consider someone who does porn a "star" then you have just as many delusions as the person doing it. remember: the truth is never comfortable- and nobody will be pleased by it. it's just a reality.

This is the happiest you've been in a while crayons! You're just full of compliments today! :lol:

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Some people simply are not capable of giving. :shrug

It may because they have not reached the point in their emotional
or psychological development or perhaps because they are only
capable of thinking of themselves.



In Hollywood's particular situation it's because they are young or prime in TS' escort age, when they hit 30 and don't have that silicone or the silicone they do have starts to sag they'll call him again, he'll just call me to laugh about it, which I will


this is why boosting their ego with "whose the hottest girl here" threads and the constant "oh my GOD she is even hotter than a GG" makes their heads so big they actually think it's true.



the women Hwood's referring to can barely type a sentence of English, maybe some Spanglish, and even though 5 to 7 clients of theirs would afford them the luxury of a Dell laptop they'd be more comfortable spending that on ass pumping or snow

;)

[thx1138]

Annie Lennox: "Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to be used by you." Disconnect with the former. Associate with the latter. Drop the feelings of sadness and guilt. Be ruthless. Only the strong survive.

[peggygee]

Some people simply are not capable of giving. :shrug

It may because they have not reached the point in their emotional
or psychological development or perhaps because they are only
capable of thinking of themselves.



In Hollywood's particular situation it's because they are young or prime in TS' escort age, when they hit 30 and don't have that silicone or the silicone they do have starts to sag they'll call him again, he'll just call me to laugh about it, which I will


this is why boosting their ego with "whose the hottest girl here" threads and the constant "oh my GOD she is even hotter than a GG" makes their heads so big they actually think it's true.



the women Hwood's referring to can barely type a sentence of English, maybe some Spanglish, and even though 5 to 7 clients of theirs would afford them the luxury of a Dell laptop they'd be more comfortable spending that on ass pumping or snow

;)

JWBL, for pointing out the on-going problem of transwomen wearing
shoes too small for them, and creating the 'shrimp toe effect'.

For your courage on tackling the topic of substance abuse in the transcommunity.

And for your tireless commentary on the overall shenanigans of the 'heathens'.

We would like to award you the 'Keeping It Real Trophy' for 2007.

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/stainforth-trophy.gif

You go boy. :wink:

[JamesHunt]

Relationships with other human beings is becoming more and more a business transaction, if you have nothing to bring to the party, you'll get dumped. That's my take on it anyway :cry:

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

bumping this thread because it deserves to stay on page 1 for more than a day

[Nicole Dupre]

Annie Lennox: "Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to be used by you." Disconnect with the former. Associate with the latter. Drop the feelings of sadness and guilt. Be ruthless. Only the strong survive.

Interesting.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Annie Lennox: "Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to be used by you." Disconnect with the former. Associate with the latter. Drop the feelings of sadness and guilt. Be ruthless. Only the strong survive.

Interesting.

HEY BIG TITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

HUGZ

just wanted to say it's been 2 years since my bro wrote this.................
nothing has changed

this should be a sticky for all newbies to learn from

JWBL

[jaycanuck]

Thanks for bumping this. I know about this all too well. When I moved to the city I was naive, but as time moved on I did what the OP did.

[Nicole Dupre]

Annie Lennox: "Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to be used by you." Disconnect with the former. Associate with the latter. Drop the feelings of sadness and guilt. Be ruthless. Only the strong survive.

Interesting.

HEY BIG TITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

HUGZ

just wanted to say it's been 2 years since my bro wrote this.................
nothing has changed

this should be a sticky for all newbies to learn from

JWBLHi, Big Schlong. lol How are you? lol XO

Yes, I think it should.

And I suspect that thx1138 is a stalker, and possibly a murderer and a rapist. Just a theory.