I saw someone steal a car

So today I was coming out of 24 hour fitness and I saw some guy slim-jimming this really nice CLK. He finally had to bust the window open

Actually, I'm not sure it was a guy, but statistically, science says it was probably a dude and that's good enough for me. I don't need to see someone try to steal a car for me to believe that someone tried to steal it.

I could tell he was trying to steal the car and that's what I told the police when they got there. So the coppers came out and ran the car for fingerprints or whatever. Good thing there were fingerprints. So now we have a lead on this guy.

Of course the cops asked me if I saw everything go down and of course I said yes. I mean, I didn't really see it but studies and statistics prove that it was probably a guy.... and who am I to argue with studies?

[yodajazz]

Out of curiousity why do you have doubts about it being a guy? Usually, aren't the most important things height, weight and clothing description, anyway? It it did not look like and adult male, chances are it was a young male. Some start stealing cars at the age of fourteen. So it is not so important whether you are sure the person was male or female, but any detail is important.

[trish]

I'm sure that if your communication with the police was as coherent as your post, then you were a great help.

[Quinn]

Yeah, this is Officer Jenkins. We’re putting out an APB on……on……well, we’re not sure if the individual in question is a man or a woman. Based upon the lone eyewitness account, this androgynous individual is believed to be between 4’11 and 6’7 in height. Said individual is of indeterminate race, may or may not have hair, could have eyes of any color, and was believed to be wearing clothes of some sort. Here is the most detailed sketch possible based upon the aforementioned eyewitness account:


http://vortex.weather.brockport.edu/~jmassare/riley/stickfig.jpg

[LG]

LOL at Trish's and Quinn's posts!

TFan, I hope you're pulling our leg, man.

[chefmike]

I'm sure that if your communication with the police was as coherent as your post, then you were a great help.

Cops are used to dealing with psychotic types...they probably recognized TFool from the neighborhood...he's the imbecile on the corner with the 'jesus saves' sign...

Whatever, Jenny from the block.

The cops are coming over for another interview or whatever. I was gonna show them the video tape I have of the guy, but I figured that I already have consensus on my side and why tamper with that?

[trish]

Now wait. There was a census :?

[chefmike]

The cops are coming over for another interview or whatever.

LMFAO...sure they are, TFool.

Maybe Joe Friday will even show up to interview an important witness like yourself, zippy...what a putz.

[trish]

They don't usually do two interviews. They're probably coming to take you downtown. If I were you Tfan, I'd skip the country.

[LG]

Whatever, Jenny from the block.

The cops are coming over for another interview or whatever. I was gonna show them the video tape I have of the guy, but I figured that I already have consensus on my side and why tamper with that?

Hang on, I get it...I think TFan's trying to be a little tongue in cheek here. The question is, whose tongue in whose cheek? He doesn't have a video tape (in fact, he doesn't even have a clue), he's just trying to be funny (or whatever passes for funny in his case).

I think he's making shit up to annoy us all.

[insert_namehere]

You mean that you don't find this a brilliant analogy of knowledge by consensus?

Personally, I am agog.

Do a parable next, pleeeeaaaase?

[trish]

Very astute insert_namehere! It’s exactly like the case for anthropogenic global warming…except for the fact that in one scenario the statistics of an ensemble is being used to make forced inferences about a particular member of the ensemble…whereas in the other scenario, data about the past and current states of a physical system, together with knowledge of the physical mechanisms that allow the system to function are being used to project the possible future dynamics of said system. Otherwise TFan has got a pretty rough outline of a sort of very loose metaphorical hanging together of two otherwise grossly unrelated situations. Yes, now do a parable.

[tsafficianado]

TF, i commend you for your willingness to get involved in this situation. auto theft is a serious crime and a social problem and it will only be brought under control when the public stands up to be counted. i'm sure your observations and your allegations and your assumptions will serve adequately in lieu of actual facts.
i am an advocate for an international forum on auto theft. what we need are a couple of celebrities to speak out on the ravages of auto theft - perhaps matt damon, and, uh......hey, jay leno, he likes cars. and then we can get together a colossal super-keen one-day concert event with some musical superstars like nelly and furgee (she could wet her pants for the crowd) and a couple of has-beens for the relics (chefmike and specialk's generation duh) like the lovin spoonful and donovan. it'll be swell.
it's amazing that such a large portion of the public still refuses to acknowledge the ravages of auto theft, and it's honorable of you to bring the problem to our attention. keep up the good work. and thank goodness that miscreant W_M_C has been banned, he would deny the auto theft problem until he walked out into the wal-mart lot and found the trusty impala amongst the missing.

Well let's look at the facts here. We have a busted up CLK. We have a parking lot full of glass fragments. Those fragments weren't there before.... we checked! Not me personally, I was eating a hamburger at the time.

The cops are on the case. We will stop this and all other instances of global car theft. We will employ legislative fixes, international treaties (Excluding China and India of course) and extreme taxation on automakers who do not comply with the wishes of the international community of transportation scientists. If a transportation scientist gets out of line with Nanny, he will be quickly ostracized and his funding withheld in red tape.

This is a problem that threatens all of us. Me, you, our children and our childrens children!

Something must be done to eliminate this looming disaster!

We still stop Worldwide Car Theft!

GOD HELP US ALL IF WE DON'T!!!

[LG]

You mean that you don't find this a brilliant analogy of knowledge by consensus?

Very astute insert_namehere! It’s exactly like the case for anthropogenic global warming
Hmm. Perhaps I should make my own posts a little less subtle so that people can recognize my own astuteness.
Obviously this is what TFan is trying to do, as I hinted in my previous post. But is it a brilliant analogy? No. TFan is hardly capable of briliance.

To compare the stereotype of the average criminal (not only male but also black, according to the stereotype) and the scientific consensus on climate change and then suggest that no further research is necessary in this bogus case of car theft is, in fact, a pile of old bollocks. But then again, I hardly expected much better.

So let's not pay attention to his thinly veiled attack on science and maybe he'll move on to talking about the baby Jesus again.

[svenson]

You mean that you don't find this a brilliant analogy of knowledge by consensus?

Very astute insert_namehere! It’s exactly like the case for anthropogenic global warming
Hmm. Perhaps I should make my own posts a little less subtle so that people can recognize my own astuteness.
Obviously this is what TFan is trying to do, as I hinted in my previous post. But is it a brilliant analogy? No. TFan is hardly capable of briliance.

To compare the stereotype of the average criminal (not only male but also black, according to the stereotype) and the scientific consensus on climate change and then suggest that no further research is necessary in this bogus case of car theft is, in fact, a pile of old bollocks. But then again, I hardly expected much better.

So let's not pay attention to his thinly veiled attack on science and maybe he'll move on to talking about the baby Jesus again.

it wasnt a analogy. it was a bull shit story

[trish]

what's even more idiotic is TF than proceeds to press an analogy that doesn't work. drop it TF, the intelligent aren't buying.

[Quinn]

LOL.... I think this little tale only found life as an analogy once it became obvious that some of the "facts" didn't add up. Tfan isn't smart enough to speak in parables, not even poorly constructed ones.

-Quinn

[tsafficianado]

actually, the interesting part about this thread is just how long it took these pompous i'm-so-fuggin-smart ban-a-holics to figure out TF's little tale was bullflop. the irony is, they STILL haven't figured out the depth of their idiocy in regards to the other tall tale.

[Quinn]

actually, the interesting part about this thread is just how long it took these pompous i'm-so-fuggin-smart ban-a-holics to figure out TF's little tale was bullflop. the irony is, they STILL haven't figured out the depth of their idiocy in regards to the other tall tale.

Says the poster who – in what is perhaps the greatest of ironies – isn't even smart enough to spell his own ID properly.

1) a·fi·cio·na·do(-fsh--näd, -fs-, -fs-)
n. pl. a·fi·cio·na·dos
An enthusiastic admirer or follower; a fan.

2) T·S·a·ffi·cia·na·do
A follower who repeatedly demonstrates problems with basic reading comprehension and spelling.

Thanks, spelling_aficionado, that's literally the best laugh I've had in days.

-Quinn

[chefmike]

And look at the imbecile that he follows -

Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 10:08 am Post subject: Can I change my screen name?

------------------------------------------------------------


To "Christian Whore"?


I'm not being stupid. I like sex. I LOVE women.

So can i?

http://www.hungangels.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=22405

[tsafficianado]

thanks for your input quince, and since reading comprehension doesn't seem to be one of your strong suits (but then, what is?) i'll explain to you as i explained twice to LG on consecutive days....it's an ID, not a dictionary entry....and it's MY preferred spelling. if you want to get into a spelling bee with me bring it on bitch, i graduated #1 in a class of 4800 and my SAT Verbal score was a shade shy of 700.
by the way, do you work the register at mcd's while chumpmike handles the drive-thru? oh, excuse me, drive-through.

[Quinn]

Another thing regarding your unfortunate post, spelling_aficionado, is the use of the word "ban-a-holics." You might want to reconsider appending the suffix “aholic” to the word “ban” as it means the following:

One that is addicted to or compulsively in need of: workaholic; chocoholic.

Given that WMC is the only poster to have an ID banned in a long time, your use of the word "ban-a-holics" clearly demonstrates yet another problem with basic comprehension, doesn't it? Seriously, spelling_aficionado, if there are any other exceedingly rudimentary things I can help you with, please let me know how I can be of service. Until then, you might want to ask for a refund on your education given the repeated issues you’ve had with the basic reading comprehension:



Quinn sez, and with a straight face i presume

'the sophisticated professionals who put together September 11'

thanks quinn, we all needed a good laugh.

Maybe paying attention and reading comprehension just aren't your strong suit. Since these skills do seem wanting in your case, and I'm feeling generous tonight, I'll help you figure out what would be obvious to a computer literate ten-year old: www.time.com (in partnership with CNN) published the relevant article, not me. I guess you didn't notice that it was italicized and that the link was posted beneath.

Thanks for providing that "good laugh" you were talking about. Let this be a lesson, boys and girls; stay in school. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

-Quinn

Oh, one last thing. so far as your academic performance is concerned, I hold both an MBA and an MA in International Relations (and started work on an uncompleted, third MA). As such, your SAT score leaves me thoroughly underwhelmed. To the whole McDonald’s angle, I’m semi-retired at 36 (only because full retirement left me bored to tears). I’ve made more by 36 years of age in the financial markets (specifically foreign exchange) than you will earn in several lifetimes – and that doesn’t even take into account my real estate investment co. Bottom line: let me know when you reach the big league, day-trader, let alone successfully retire from it.

-Quinn

thanks for your input quince, and since reading comprehension doesn't seem to be one of your strong suits (but then, what is?) i'll explain to you as i explained twice to LG on consecutive days....it's an ID, not a dictionary entry....and it's MY preferred spelling. if you want to get into a spelling bee with me bring it on bitch, i graduated #1 in a class of 4800 and my SAT Verbal score was a shade shy of 700.
by the way, do you work the register at mcd's while chumpmike handles the drive-thru? oh, excuse me, drive-through.


LMAO!

[Quinn]

LOL What a loser

This dude could not get laid for free if his life depended on it.

Hey, TFan, she likes you almost as much as Jen does! :lol:

Now, this gets a LMAO, particularly when we consider this:


God told me to go after Jennifer Justice.


I didnt need god to tell me though.


Jen, I'm courting you. Just talk to me! I'm a good man. 5 minutes and then hang up on me.


And this:



In other words, you're a fag. Thats cool.

if that statement holds true for him ... then youre a fag for opening a "gay" themed thread

ppl in glass houses shouldnt throw purses, tfan


All of which leads us to the biggest LMAO of all:



Rejection hurts, huh buddy?

:lol:

rejection is TFans middle name....

Chin up, cupcake. At least the asylum will always be there for you.

-Quinn

[trish]

I admit I was slower on the uptake than my colleagues who in turn were all quicker than tsafficianado, who only now claims to have understood TF’s strained metaphor all along. Yeah, right. I don’t blame you for not “getting it” from the get go for two reasons. The story was told in such an incoherent manner it was difficult work out the literal layer of TF’s story. If you recall, that was the gist of my first post. Second, the metaphor doesn’t work. Saying you get it like laughing at a botched joked because only the person who botched it is laughing. Saying you get it is like saying you understand the proof that all triangles are isosceles when obviously the only thing one could possibly understand is the flaw.

[LG]

LOL What a loser

This dude could not get laid for free if his life depended on it.

Hey, TFan, she likes you almost as much as Jen does! :lol:

Now, this gets a LMAO, particularly when we consider this:


God told me to go after Jennifer Justice.


I didnt need god to tell me though.


Jen, I'm courting you. Just talk to me! I'm a good man. 5 minutes and then hang up on me.


And this:



In other words, you're a fag. Thats cool.

if that statement holds true for him ... then youre a fag for opening a "gay" themed thread

ppl in glass houses shouldnt throw purses, tfan


All of which leads us to the biggest LMAO of all:



Rejection hurts, huh buddy?

:lol:

rejection is TFans middle name....

Chin up, cupcake. At least the asylum will always be there for you.

-Quinn

Thank you! Finally someone gets my cross-referenced jibes!

And yes, it is pretty funny! :lol:

[svenson]

one heres god talking and the other cant spell or comprehend engilsh and its his first language. HAs lcrazey fringe

[trish]

Technically speaking WMC wasn’t banned. His foul spirit was exorcised from the pink interiors of these innocent forums. To insinuate otherwise is blasphemy. You would do well not to invite the vile beast into your heart. Your soul, TFan, already hangs by the thinnest of threads over the burning abyss of oblivion. What would your family say, if they knew how close you have ventured to the edge of that dark pit? Perhaps their awareness, a simple suspicion, would be enough to corrupt their hearts and send you tumbling. :lol: :twisted: :wink:

[tsafficianado]

sven, let me help you with your english a little in quinn's absence.......
when one receives auditory input one HEARS....not heres
the contraction of can and not is CAN'T, not cant
in the word english the L comes BEFORE the I
the contraction of it and is should be IT'S, not its
an apostrophe connotes possession, as in HA's, not HAs
the word crazy contains neither an l nor an e

20 words and only 7 errors, not bad

by the way, you misspelled your ID too....there is only one N in moron

[Quinn]

LMAO.... Svenson has made it clear that English isn't even his first language. What's your execuse, spelling_aficionado?

[Oli]

Ef this var þinn second tungumál , vildi þinn gramm vera fullkominn?

[tsafficianado]

no execuse there quinn, good of you to join us

[Oli]

no execuse there quinn, good of you to join us

For someone who just chastised a poster for poor spelling, you really should proof your posts before submitting and making an ass of yourself.

[tsafficianado]

o.k., oli, let's run this in the ground......scoot on up a few posts to quinn's in which he initiated this particular dialogue.....since HE'S the one with the MBA and the MA i figured it was safe to rely on his spelling of execuse.

i finally figured out what is wrong with you guys....you think laughing at OTHER people is more educational than laughing at yourself.

[trish]

LOL Well you figured wrong and fell into the trap.

[Oli]

if you want to get into a spelling bee with me bring it on bitch, i graduated #1 in a class of 4800 and my SAT Verbal score was a shade shy of 700.

Oh, the irony.

[Quinn]

o.k., oli, let's run this in the ground......scoot on up a few posts to quinn's in which he initiated this particular dialogue.....since HE'S the one with the MBA and the MA i figured it was safe to rely on his spelling of execuse.

i finally figured out what is wrong with you guys....you think laughing at OTHER people is more educational than laughing at yourself.

Actually, my passive-aggressive pedant, it is you who pompously chimed in by insulting all of us, calling people idiots – when you aren’t even smart enough spell your own ID correctly, let alone comprehend the meaning of the suffix “aholic.” Still, since it has been clearly established that reading comprehension is a real shortcoming for you, I’m not surprised by such an ironic blunder on your part:



Quinn sez, and with a straight face i presume

'the sophisticated professionals who put together September 11'

thanks quinn, we all needed a good laugh.

Maybe paying attention and reading comprehension just aren't your strong suit. Since these skills do seem wanting in your case, and I'm feeling generous tonight, I'll help you figure out what would be obvious to a computer literate ten-year old: www.time.com (in partnership with CNN) published the relevant article, not me. I guess you didn't notice that it was italicized and that the link was posted beneath.

Thanks for providing that "good laugh" you were talking about. Let this be a lesson, boys and girls; stay in school. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

-Quinn

If you want to stick your nose into long-running conflicts you know nothing about, there's going to be a lot more of this. So get ready for it, spelling_aficionado.

-Quinn

[tsafficianado]

alright oli, since you're too stupid to find water in a fuggin ocean, let me take you by the hand like the mental adolescent that you obviously are....point your finger up 6 posts and read, you can even move your lips if you need to......quinn, who has engaged me with his running assault on my intellect, called me out for my critique of sven. his post, which has been edited 3 times to date, contains 18 words and one of them is the misspelled 'execuse'. my use of execuse was an attempt at humor...and obviously it was a little over your head. i apologize, next time i will include instructions and a paint-by-number diagram for you.

i'm only going to say this once, and pretty soon i won't be saying anything on this forum because you are all a bunch of pompous assholes. i never claimed to be as smart as trish, or as rich as quinn, or as worldly as LG. i came on this forum because the topics and the dialogue interested me, i was impressed by some of the expressed opinions and on a few occasions i attempted to share my take on some of the issues. the vast majority of the posters on this forum are extremely liberal, and on many issues we are in disagreement to some extent. i was painted with the same brush that was applied to white male canada, and from my perspective the personal attacks on him were less than civil and i found myself assuming the same combative stance that ended with his dismissal (perhaps WMC incited his lashing, but by the time i arrived all i saw as a pack of hounds in a feeding frenzy). it appears to me that the liberal majority on this thread is intent on driving away anyone whose opinion differs from the group's, perhaps that is just my take. what the fuck would be the point of this thread if every participant shared the exact same oipinion on every issue? if i didn't intend to learn anything from these dialogues, why the hell would i bother?
in the end, for me, it comes down to this..... almost all of us say things to, at and about others on this forum that i certainly hope we would not say to each other's face....and i've become as guilty as the lot. i would bet you one of quinn's millions of dollars that if you and i and guyone and trish and LG sat down over a pitcher and chewed the fat that we would be civil to each other and that we would enjoy the evening. so why is it that we end up at each others' throats?

[Quinn]

i'm only going to say this once, and pretty soon i won't be saying anything on this forum because you are all a bunch of pompous assholes. i never claimed to be as smart as trish, or as rich as quinn, or as worldly as LG. i came on this forum because the topics and the dialogue interested me, i was impressed by some of the expressed opinions and on a few occasions i attempted to share my take on some of the issues. the vast majority of the posters on this forum are extremely liberal, and on many issues we are in disagreement to some extent. i was painted with the same brush that was applied to white male canada, and from my perspective the personal attacks on him were less than civil and i found myself assuming the same combative stance that ended with his dismissal (perhaps WMC incited his lashing, but by the time i arrived all i saw as a pack of hounds in a feeding frenzy). it appears to me that the liberal majority on this thread is intent on driving away anyone whose opinion differs from the group's, perhaps that is just my take. what the fuck would be the point of this thread if every participant shared the exact same oipinion on every issue? if i didn't intend to learn anything from these dialogues, why the hell would i bother?
in the end, for me, it comes down to this..... almost all of us say things to, at and about others on this forum that i certainly hope we would not say to each other's face....and i've become as guilty as the lot. i would bet you one of quinn's millions of dollars that if you and i and guyone and trish and LG sat down over a pitcher and chewed the fat that we would be civil to each other and that we would enjoy the evening. so why is it that we end up at each others' throats?

This is actually a good point. The problem is you are getting what you are putting out there. If you want to have an intellectual debate, there are numerous posters here who would be very interested in reading what you have to say and engage you accordingly (LG, Trish, myself, etc.). For my part, there are numerous things I would want to discuss regarding this nation's monetary and fiscal policies (on a day when we both have sufficient free time). However, like I said, it's all about what you put out there.

-Quinn

[Oli]

alright oli, since you're too stupid to find water in a fuggin ocean, let me take you by the hand like the mental adolescent that you obviously are

The ocean is right outside my back door, so no problem there. And only a fool questions the intelligence of someone they do not know.


point your finger up 6 posts and read, you can even move your lips if you need to......quinn, who has engaged me with his running assault on my intellect, called me out for my critique of sven.

I'm glad he did. English isn't Sven's first language. Perhaps you should try conversing, in writing, in a language other than english and see if your grammar and spelling are up local standards. What you did was unnecessary and mean spirited.


his post, which has been edited 3 times to date, contains 18 words and one of them is the misspelled 'execuse'. my use of execuse was an attempt at humor

You failed, miserably.


obviously it was a little over your head. i apologize, next time i will include instructions and a paint-by-number diagram for you.

It wasn't over my head, and that is not an apology. It's another poor attempt at an insult.

As for the rest of your post, I'll let Quinn's response be mine.


This is actually a good point. The problem is you are getting what you are putting out there. If you want to have an intellectual debate, there are numerous posters here who would be very interested in reading what you have to say and engage you accordingly (LG, Trish, myself, etc.). For my part, there are numerous things I would want to discuss regarding this nation's monetary and fiscal policies (on a day when we both have sufficient free time). However, like I said, it's all about what you put out there.

-Quinn

They don't usually do two interviews. They're probably coming to take you downtown. If I were you Tfan, I'd skip the country.


Baby, I love it when you talk about my anus hole. I get all tickly inside. Keep it up you filthy little whore!

[LG]

in the end, for me, it comes down to this..... almost all of us say things to, at and about others on this forum that i certainly hope we would not say to each other's face....and i've become as guilty as the lot. i would bet you one of quinn's millions of dollars that if you and i and guyone and trish and LG sat down over a pitcher and chewed the fat that we would be civil to each other and that we would enjoy the evening. so why is it that we end up at each others' throats?

Probably. I would say that I am civil towards guyone, because, despite our differences of opinion, despite having had a massive argument in the past, I think he's an okay guy with a good sense of humour. I like to think he sees things the same way in this case.

I don't think I have attacked you personally, but I was upset to see you defending White_Male_Canada when it was clear, as you have just noted, that you didn't know the background of our arguments with him, nor were aware of why, exactly, he was so disliked. He was disliked because he relied on personal attacks rather than reason, because he posted things just to stir up trouble, because he he used insulting descriptions that would easily have got him banned in the General Discussion, because he shifted his opinion merely to disagree, because he was dishonest and hypocritical and for many other reasons. His posts- the ones he did not manage to edit several times over- clearly show his lack of integrity.

I certainly think we could get along, if you are willing to be open-minded and want to discuss things rather than go down White_Male_Canada's route of hatred and dishonesty.

I have many friends who are conservative, just as I have friends who are communists, but I merely avoid talking politics with them. But sadly, this is the Politics forum and politics are what we are here to discuss. So, naturally, we will have disagreements and arguments. The important thing is to have respect for one another's opinion and to be civil, and perhaps a little humourous to make our arguments less scathing and our debates less sombre.

At the end of the day, we're not going to change the world by posting something here. In truth, we're all just having a little fun.

So if you want to join us, you're more than welcome. But if you'd rather resort to White_Male_Canada's tactics, then you will be treated as he was. It's very simple.

That is my olive branch. I hope you shall accept it.

[LG]

They don't usually do two interviews. They're probably coming to take you downtown. If I were you Tfan, I'd skip the country.


Baby, I love it when you talk about my anus hole. I get all tickly inside. Keep it up you filthy little whore!