LG
05-17-2007, 04:46 PM
Now don't get me wrong- I have nothing against porn. I watch porn. On occasion, I even jerk off to porn. Porn is good- it feeds people's fantasies and brings in money to the girls that need it to improve their lives. As long as it's legal, there's nothing wrong with porn.
But it's getting tired. Film-makers have run out of ideas. Not only do porn movies have no storylines that make sense (apart from: boy meets girl, girl has a cock, boy and girl have sex, repeat until fade), but we're getting "Tranny Whackers 4", "Khathoey 3" and "Transexual Prostitutes 45". Sure the girl on the box looks gorgeous, but number 45? Can't they come up with another title?
Maybe not. One of the latest attempts for a new concept is "Transsexual Dog Walker". I saw it right there in the top left-hand corner of this forum.
Huh? How the fuck is that supposed to be sexy? For one thing, it does sound like it could be pretty gross.
Upon clicking on it, one reads:
"Fido gets a big treat, and I do mean BIG, as super hung transsexuals pursue new career options as professional dog walkers. Ultra feminine trannys with great big she-cocks tease and please their clients and might even actually walk the dog in this all hardcore transsexual extravaganza guaranteed to satisfy the TS lover in all of us!!!"
Now I am sure it is not as bad as it sounds, but I do not like the idea of dogs in porn films, whether they are simply barking incessantly (why does this seem to happen in all the outdoor scenes in Brazilian DVDs?) or are actually onscreen. I'm sure it's actually a decent video, if the model on the cover (not the dog, stupid, the girl) is anything to go by.
But can't they come up with anything better?
I suppose not, judging by these excerpts from story lines (all true and found in the HA store):
"Give them a T-Bone and they will treat it like it was a filet mignon."
What?? They'll cut up your dick with a knife and eat it?
"Nacho's camera goes where few dare: the lair of the well-hung Brazilian she-male. This transsexual masturbation footage was secured at great personal risk and is presented for instructional purposes only."
I suppose he should put a sign up: Warning- Transsexuals may bite
"These prom queens have something else under their gowns besides their thong. It's their schwong."
Their schwong? What is this? Grade school? What's next? "These girls may not be from Germany, but you should see their bockwurst!"? "These honeys are sweet as sugar, but they pack some hard rock candy."? "When these babes lift their skirts inside a bank, your assets will freeze- watch them make a deposit inside some hard studs"?
But I guess however hard I try to make storylines like these, I won't beat this last one from a Buck Angel DVD (and I'm not making this up):
"Buckback Mountain: The forbidden sex story between two tough cowboys and their hidden secret: one of them has a pussy...and he just can't keep it to himself."
Oh, brother.
:roll:
But it's getting tired. Film-makers have run out of ideas. Not only do porn movies have no storylines that make sense (apart from: boy meets girl, girl has a cock, boy and girl have sex, repeat until fade), but we're getting "Tranny Whackers 4", "Khathoey 3" and "Transexual Prostitutes 45". Sure the girl on the box looks gorgeous, but number 45? Can't they come up with another title?
Maybe not. One of the latest attempts for a new concept is "Transsexual Dog Walker". I saw it right there in the top left-hand corner of this forum.
Huh? How the fuck is that supposed to be sexy? For one thing, it does sound like it could be pretty gross.
Upon clicking on it, one reads:
"Fido gets a big treat, and I do mean BIG, as super hung transsexuals pursue new career options as professional dog walkers. Ultra feminine trannys with great big she-cocks tease and please their clients and might even actually walk the dog in this all hardcore transsexual extravaganza guaranteed to satisfy the TS lover in all of us!!!"
Now I am sure it is not as bad as it sounds, but I do not like the idea of dogs in porn films, whether they are simply barking incessantly (why does this seem to happen in all the outdoor scenes in Brazilian DVDs?) or are actually onscreen. I'm sure it's actually a decent video, if the model on the cover (not the dog, stupid, the girl) is anything to go by.
But can't they come up with anything better?
I suppose not, judging by these excerpts from story lines (all true and found in the HA store):
"Give them a T-Bone and they will treat it like it was a filet mignon."
What?? They'll cut up your dick with a knife and eat it?
"Nacho's camera goes where few dare: the lair of the well-hung Brazilian she-male. This transsexual masturbation footage was secured at great personal risk and is presented for instructional purposes only."
I suppose he should put a sign up: Warning- Transsexuals may bite
"These prom queens have something else under their gowns besides their thong. It's their schwong."
Their schwong? What is this? Grade school? What's next? "These girls may not be from Germany, but you should see their bockwurst!"? "These honeys are sweet as sugar, but they pack some hard rock candy."? "When these babes lift their skirts inside a bank, your assets will freeze- watch them make a deposit inside some hard studs"?
But I guess however hard I try to make storylines like these, I won't beat this last one from a Buck Angel DVD (and I'm not making this up):
"Buckback Mountain: The forbidden sex story between two tough cowboys and their hidden secret: one of them has a pussy...and he just can't keep it to himself."
Oh, brother.
:roll: