Things you've shoved up your ass

[Vala_TS]

I'll go first:

Things I've shoved up my ass:

Crayons
Pens (12 at once at one point)
Pencils
Plastic hot dog
Frozen Hot dog
Ice
Carrots
Fist
LEGO man (Yes, minifigs)
Woody (toy movie)
Barbie's hand
Rock a stack yellow bit
Hot sauce bottle
Pepsi bottle
Broom handle
Sweeper handle
Hanger hook part
Fingers
Toes
My own dick (only the head)
Tissue/toilet paper
Water (from the Pepsi bottle)
Cum
Syringe
Bread
Choc. syrup bottle
Corn cob

Edit: I forgot 3 items:
Shampoo bottle neck
Hotel sized shampoo container (cylindrical)
Tootsie roll

Edit: I forgot something else.

A hammer (handle)

Some of them without any lube.

Anyone else?

Vala,

[gummi baer]

What? No Mardi Gras beads? How about a fresh from the garden zucchini? :roll:

[stillies77]

lego man?

[specialk]

Geez..I hope you don't work in a grocery store, or 7-11 :shock:

[Quinn]

lego man?

Yeah, that one caught my eye too. Not quite sure what to say, so I'll just go with this: Wow!!!!!!!

-Quinn

[LG]

Laptop computer
Personal stereo
Copy of high school poetry book
External hard drive
Both hands and feet (at once)
My head (only the head)
Wooden spike and silver bullets
A girlfriend's Manolo Blahnik's
Framed antique map of Eastern Europe
Framed antique map of Western Europe
Rolled up newspapers (tabloids only, plus the Guardian and USA Today)
2 liter bottle of Fanta
Mangoes (canned)
Bananas (finely chopped)
Carrots (diced or julienned for stir fries)
Wine bottle (French Merlot or Cabernet, decanted at room temperature, served with slow-cooked lamb or veal)
Burritos

:lol:

Joking...In a weird way, Vala, your post almost makes me horny. But the coat hanger sounds really painful...

[BeardedOne]

lego man?

Yeah, that one caught my eye too. Not quite sure what to say, so I'll just go with this: Wow!!!!!!!

-Quinn

Interesting list. Just stay away from live mortar shells and concrete mix (Actual items removed from creative people's asses in the ER).

Had a giggle about the Lego man (Minifig, I presume) as I have a small collection somewhere on one of the drives of images of Lego minifigs skiing down bare breasts or spelunking moist labia. :lol:

People. Go figure. :roll:

[BeardedOne]

Another popular item many people put in warm, dark places:

:lol:

[stillies77]

hahahaha

thats awesome

[Trogdor]

*hides his hamsters from Vala.* :P

[stillies77]

*Hides his bucket of legos!*

[Balcanoid]

I guess this thread isn`t suppose to be funny but it is! :D

How about submarine? shape is appropriate, I mean on non-nuclear type...

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Geez..I hope you don't work in a grocery store, or 7-11 :shock:

Lmao :lol: :lol: :lol:

~Kisses.

HTG

[BlackAdder]

Some people will just put anything in there ass....Funny how it transfers from oral to anal fixation huh?

[signupjustforthis]

um

nothing weird

dildo
pencil/pen - when i was young and stupid.

[lincspoacher]

LG,

You forgot to mention a "Pair of sliding doors" and a "Cuddly toy" .. a right "Brucie" bonus ... :wink:

Bye for now,

Poacher

[francisfkudrow]

I always joke that during a "Winter Emergency" here in Harrisburg, the city wants everyone to shove their cars up their asses.

[MrsKellyPierce]

A redwood log, it was the roughest sex I have had :? :shock: :lol:

[LG]

And this one time at band camp...

http://www.trustedpartner.com/images/library/000133/band%20camp.jpg

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

And this one time at band camp...

http://www.trustedpartner.com/images/library/000133/band%20camp.jpg

ROFL :lol:

~Kisses.

HTG

[apocarm]

Well, this was me at the 2006 Running of the Bulls. I didn't enjoy it too much.

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

These always does it for me: :P

http://buzz.smm.org/buzz/media/images/tongue-esp.thumbnail.jpg

http://www.prezziesplus.co.uk/lg-emergency-mini-vibrator.jpg

http://www.babyanimalz.com/images/g_africa--gecko-on-thumb.jpg
MINUS THE LIZARD AND CHIPPED NAIL OFCOURSE! LOL ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

[mikejones]

Haven't clicked on this thread until now as the title was somewhat uninspiring, but really this is a gem. Absolutely hilarious. Bravo to the creativity shown here!

[nikkitsfun]

I could not get this all the way in but i tried my best ... lol

http://www.nikkitsfun.com/hungangels/030407/tn_nikkitsfun8050a_JPG.jpg (http://www.nikkitsfun.com/index2.html)

http://www.nikkitsfun.com/hungangels/030407/tn_nikkitsfun8050b_JPG.jpg (http://www.nikkitsfun.com/index2.html)

enjoy,

Nikkitsfun

[Ivane]

oh that nice nikki

[BeardedOne]

Interesting...

Nobody's mentioned an equine speculum yet. :shock:

[apocarm]

Interesting...

Nobody's mentioned an equine speculum yet. :shock:


Thats because they don't mess around with a speculum usually, they just go right in with their arm. Just put a glove on and go to work.

[BeardedOne]

Interesting...

Nobody's mentioned an equine speculum yet. :shock:


Thats because they don't mess around with a speculum usually, they just go right in with their arm. Just put a glove on and go to work.

Sez you. :P Though both really require a partner/assistant. :?

[apocarm]

Interesting...

Nobody's mentioned an equine speculum yet. :shock:


Thats because they don't mess around with a speculum usually, they just go right in with their arm. Just put a glove on and go to work.

Sez you. :P Though both really require a partner/assistant. :?


Naaaa, I grew up with horses my whole life. Just tie em up, or put them in a shute. They'll stand still for ya, hehe.

[BeardedOne]

Naaaa, I grew up with horses my whole life. Just tie em up, or put them in a shute. They'll stand still for ya, hehe.

Who said anything about horses? :wink: :lol: :shock:

[Perverted Monk]

I've been known to put my foot in peoples ass's from time to time

[ukcuriousboy]

A blue whale.

[franks]

I'll go first:

Things I've shoved up my ass:

Crayons
Pens (12 at once at one point)
Pencils
Plastic hot dog
Frozen Hot dog
Ice
Carrots
Fist
LEGO man
Woody (toy movie)
Barbie's hand
Rock a stack yellow bit
Hot sauce bottle
Pepsi bottle
Broom handle
Sweeper handle
Hanger hook part
Fingers
Toes
My own dick (only the head)
Tissue/toilet paper
Water (from the Pepsi bottle)
Cum
Syringe
Bread
Choc. syrup bottle
Corn cob

Some of them without any lube.

Anyone else?

Vala,

sounds like my weekly shopping list.
Hot sauce bottle? opened or closed? :D
seriously though, how old were you when did you first started to do that?

[Trogdor]

And this one time at band camp...

http://www.trustedpartner.com/images/library/000133/band%20camp.jpg

I'd rather have Allyson than the flute. :P

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

And this one time at band camp...

http://www.trustedpartner.com/images/library/000133/band%20camp.jpg

I'd rather have Allyson than the flute. :P

LOL Heck you make Allyson wear a strap on and your SOLVED! LOL :lol: ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

[Vala_TS]

I'll go first:

Things I've shoved up my ass:

Crayons
Pens (12 at once at one point)
Pencils
Plastic hot dog

Frozen Hot dog
Ice
Carrots
Fist
LEGO man
Woody (toy movie)
Barbie's hand
Rock a stack yellow bit
Hot sauce bottle
Pepsi bottle
Broom handle
Sweeper handle
Hanger hook part
Fingers
Toes
My own dick (only the head)
Tissue/toilet paper
Water (from the Pepsi bottle)
Cum
Syringe
Bread
Choc. syrup bottle
Corn cob

Some of them without any lube.

Anyone else?

Vala,

sounds like my weekly shopping list.
Hot sauce bottle? opened or closed? :D
seriously though, how old were you when did you first started to do that?

He he! :)

Anyway, I first started when I was 12. Yes, seriously.

Anyway, I forgot to mention 3 items.

Shampoo bottle neck
Hotel size shampoo
Tootsie roll

An empty hot sauce bottle that had the flip top removed so I could basically screw it up my ass! lol!

And to all of you who asked. Yes, by "Lego man", I meant a minifig.

I went away today and just got back on now, I did not expect to find 4 pages worth! Good job, guys and girls/tgirls!

Vala,

[Trogdor]

And this one time at band camp...

http://www.trustedpartner.com/images/library/000133/band%20camp.jpg

I'd rather have Allyson than the flute. :P

LOL Heck you make Allyson wear a strap on and your SOLVED! LOL :lol: ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

Just gimme Allyson and I'm solved. Always wanted her for x-mas. :wink:

[muhmuh]

An empty hot sauce bottle that had the flip top removed so I could basically screw it up my ass! lol!

bad idea... very very bad idea

ive been told if you put a twinkie up your colon and let it sit there for 8 year itll turn to booze

[Trogdor]

An empty hot sauce bottle that had the flip top removed so I could basically screw it up my ass! lol!

bad idea... very very bad idea

ive been told if you put a twinkie up your colon and let it sit there for 8 year itll turn to booze

:arrow: Don't give Vala anymore ideas. :P

[Quinn]

And this one time at band camp...

http://www.trustedpartner.com/images/library/000133/band%20camp.jpg

LMFAO.... Nice, LG..... I'm still trying to recover from the whole "lego man" thing.

-Quinn

[chefmike]

Hot damn!!!

It certainly sounds as though Vala is on a neverending quest for bigger and better things to shove up her not-so-tight ass...

So please allow me to suggest something, Vala :arrow:

[TheGuard]

Well, I would officially be afraid to touch anything at Vala's house.

Ass remote, ass door knobs, ass cucumbers, ASS EVERYWHERE!

ass.

fin.

[chefmike]

Well, I would officially be afraid to touch anything at Vala's house.

Ass remote, ass door knobs, ass cucumbers, ASS EVERYWHERE!

ass.

fin.

...up to, and including the kitchen sink, apparently. :roll:

[TheGuard]

I don't know if I would put that out of the realm of possibility.

I generally only put things up my ass out of spite, roomate's toothebrush, my dog's bone, piss me off you get ass.

[ezed]

So Vala TS, which ones if any have come out?

[Vala_TS]

Well, all of them I guess. One time, a crayon got stuck up my ass but I got it out eventually...

Vala,

[chefmike]

Well, all of them I guess. One time, a crayon got stuck up my ass but I got it out eventually...

Vala,

LMFAO

Now that's quotable...

[Trogdor]

Well, all of them I guess. One time, a crayon got stuck up my ass but I got it out eventually...

Vala,

Brown crayon, yes? :roll:

[Vala_TS]

Well, all of them I guess. One time, a crayon got stuck up my ass but I got it out eventually...

Vala,

Brown crayon, yes? :roll:

Well, it was red but it was brown when it came out!

Vala,

[Lance.Trebor]

Here's a link to a Chuck Palahniuk short story

http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html

Might change some peoples attitudes

I won't hold my breath though

[stevet]

What? No cocks?

[qeuqheeg222]

i had a old tg girlfriend into enemas and she sometimes liked a booze enema-jack daniels-within minutes of the enema(halfpint) she would be dead,stinkin,fallin down,stick to my ass as long as you like drunk.......

[Vala_TS]

What? No cocks?

Not on this list, I'm counting things I've stuck up my ass on my own.

Vala,

[gottchoo]

LOL Heck you make Allyson wear a strap on and your SOLVED! LOL :lol: ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

I like how you think! she can keep the flute and whistle dixie on it while teasing with a strap on.

Hrm, that's one helluva list....

Carrots, Cucumbers and my 8in jelly vibe that I have now basically fills out my list.

[francisfkudrow]

Allyson with a strap-on. Goddamn that would be nice.

[MonsieurValentine]

If Pink is the new Black, is Vala the new Kelly Shore?

[ILuvGurls]

Vala_TS wrote:
Well, all of them I guess. One time, a crayon got stuck up my ass but I got it out eventually...

Vala,



unbelievable. :smh

[Vala_TS]

If Pink is the new Black, is Vala the new Kelly Shore?

No, I don't post random nonsense. lol If you meant it in a good way, then thanks.

Vala,

[MonsieurValentine]

If Pink is the new Black, is Vala the new Kelly Shore?

No, I don't post random nonsense. lol If you meant it in a good way, then thanks.

Vala,

My bad, this can't be filed as random?

[trannylover_york]

No cuddly toy?

[Kianu]

this thread is stupid

[eggbert]

this thread is stupid

I beg to differ. I'm laughing my ass off and I commend Vala for her honesty. Just wondering if anything live, gerbils etc. were ever up there?

[chefmike]

this thread is stupid

I beg to differ. I'm laughing my ass off and I commend Vala for her honesty. Just wondering if anything live, gerbils etc. were ever up there?


Good question. Vala seems to have covered most inanimate objects...

[Vala_TS]

this thread is stupid

I beg to differ. I'm laughing my ass off and I commend Vala for her honesty. Just wondering if anything live, gerbils etc. were ever up there?

Thanks. Also, forgot to mention but I also used the handle of a hammer on a few occasions. I updated my initial post with it.

No, nothing live. Anyway, wouldn't they start to scratch up the inside of your ass if you did that?

Vala,

[chefmike]

this thread is stupid

I beg to differ. I'm laughing my ass off and I commend Vala for her honesty. Just wondering if anything live, gerbils etc. were ever up there?

Thanks. Also, forgot to mention but I also used the handle of a hammer on a few occasions. I updated my initial post with it.

No, nothing live. Anyway, wouldn't they start to scratch up the inside of your ass if you did that?

Vala,

ROTFLMFAO!!!

You can't be serious.

After the multitude of things that you claim to have "shoved up your ass", you are actually worried about something that might "scratch up the inside"?

[francisfkudrow]

From what I hear, the gerbil thing is an urban legend, and those that having heard the legend, tried it, all ended up in the hospital.

[muhmuh]

A great adventure is waiting for you ahead.
Hurry onward, Lemmiwinks, or you will soon be dead.
The journy before you may be long and filled with woe
But you must escape the gay man's ass so your tale can be told.

had to be done sry

[Quinn]

A great adventure is waiting for you ahead.
Hurry onward, Lemmiwinks, or you will soon be dead.
The journy before you may be long and filled with woe
But you must escape the gay man's ass so your tale can be told.

had to be done sry

LOL... Nice...

-Quinn

[Vala_TS]

A great adventure is waiting for you ahead.
Hurry onward, Lemmiwinks, or you will soon be dead.
The journy before you may be long and filled with woe
But you must escape the gay man's ass so your tale can be told.

had to be done sry

LOL... Nice...

-Quinn

I knew someone was going to mention that! Anyway, next time, change the lyrics to "tranny's ass" or something rather.

Vala,

[trish]

let's see

1. erections
2. mmmmmm...did i say erections?
3. yeah...mostly just hard, unrelenting, ass-pounding, splooge exploding erections.

(at least that's all i seem to be able to focus on at the moment)

[muhmuh]

I knew someone was going to mention that! Anyway, next time, change the lyrics to "tranny's ass" or something rather.

Vala,

couldnt think of anything that fits the meter

[Vala_TS]

So I guess this makes me the undisputed HungAngels anal queen! :)

Vala,

[LG]

From what I hear, the gerbil thing is an urban legend, and those that having heard the legend, tried it, all ended up in the hospital.
True. But what about the poor gerbil?

[chefmike]

So I guess this makes me the undisputed HungAngels anal queen! :)

Vala,

BRAVO!!!

Why don't you take a bow, Vala...or is that even possible with that toaster you have stuck up your ass?

[InHouston]

Don't bother shoving the Belkin Omni View SE 4 Port Video Display Switch up your ass. It's overrated.