Does your wife know? [Archive] - HungAngels - Guide to TGirls and Transsexuals

lurker

11-09-2004, 05:53 PM

I've seen many posts here from men married to women, and I am curious as how many of you have told your wife of your... interests in the gurls? Or maybe your wife found out by other means, but how do they feel about it?

My story....
Recently my wife (4yrs) and I went through what was a very traumatic experience. To get through it we had to work on building trust. To get her to open up to me about painful times in her life, I had to tell mine. And before I could shut my big ass mouth I ended up telling her why I really had a second user account on the computer. And even so far as to click to some of my favorite websites and show exactly what I was into. She seems OK with it because it , and I explained that it is just a fantasy life for me. But I find that I still can't really share it with her. She also told me about her bad experiences and this honesty has helped us to understand each other better.

--lurker

phungu2

11-09-2004, 07:59 PM

Elpachio

11-09-2004, 08:36 PM

I know what you mean. I'm very honest with my girlfriend. It's funny, my interest in gurls is something I would never tell my family or even my best mate, because they just wouldn't get it.
But I have told my girlfriend, because we're solid, have been together for 7 years and I'm open about my sexual experiences. I told her I'd been with a couple of gurls in my time and she was cool with it - i showed her their pictures and we even got to a point where she said she'd consider a threesome with a gurl. I think it helps that my girlfriend is open about her sexuality, i.e. she told me that she's been with girls before in her youth.
So she knows about my fascination and has even watched one or two of my movies with gurls in.

I think it's different with your family and friends, but when it's somebody that you love deeply and have a solid relationship with, you should be able to be totally honest with them.

Maybe it's an age thing too....i dont know. I'm 25.

popperluv

11-09-2004, 08:37 PM

Every woman is different . I tried to tell but half way through my story she was already freaking out.
Im not going there. I wish she was more open so I could be more open.

lurker

11-09-2004, 09:15 PM

Yeah, I agree it is a whole can of worms that would be better kept sealed. But I do really love her. And I don't want to lose her. She opened up to me about some things she was deeply ashamed of and would never want to have told, as well as some fantasies of her own. And it was her shame and fears and inability to talk to me about them that almost cost us our relationship.

At the time that I told this little secret of mine I was just trying to get her to see that everyone has secrets, but we have to be honest or we will both lose. That part of the story jumped out before I could catch it.

If we ever split I will be devastated. None of her family lives nearby, so I won't have to suffer their judgement. But most of my family is close by. And this is something they would never understand (as far as I know). But hopefully by taking the lead and putting this trust in her she will know how much I love her. But i am scared shitless that it might ever get to anyone else!

--lurker

canihavu

11-09-2004, 09:49 PM

Toro

11-09-2004, 10:21 PM

This is a complicated question...but I think you could make a basic assumption. Most women want a man who walks, talks and behaves like a man. I know that's traditional and conservative, but that's the majority. And while both are dangerous, telling your girl that you fantasize about women with dicks is a lot tougher (and less manly) than telling her you fantasize about banging her two former college roommates on the roof of her grandmother's house.

So now, you have to try to put yourself in your girl's shoes - what type of sexual activity could she come and surprise you with that would put you in the position of having to make a decision about the future of your relationship? And that will be different for everyone. Imagine if you are a little possessive, and your woman told you she has fantasies of being gangbanged by a group of young men, or that she has rape fantasies? Or imagine if your wife was into pain/torture sex, or that she fantasized about getting shit on? Or what if she told you she had the family dog lick peanut butter from her clam on a regular basis (you laugh, but I knew a girl who did that in high school...lol...if she was doing the 'tell all/say all' thing, what do you think her man would say about that)?

Would you tell her - 'that's fine, as long as you only masturbate about it'? would you let her play out her fantasies with/without you? Would you get excited about it? Could one of those things I mentioned above be enough to freak you out and make you look at her a different way, maybe end the relationship?

There are a lot of other things to consider, like age/generation, length of relationship, what type of relationship it is, how religious she is lol, etc., but I think you just have to put yourself in your woman's shoes and ask yourself how you'd react to a total shocker.

PS - then get ready for 'so have you cheated on me with a shemale?!'

Slither

11-09-2004, 10:26 PM

well, my ex-wife found out about it by receiving a phone call on my cell phone from an angry T-Girl who i had been seeing on the side, and then I stopped seeing her, so she called to berate me pretty much. wel my wife had the phone and heard the whole story. That was a contributing factor to our divorce, although we would have split without that, because she's a fucked up individual.

Ecstatic

11-09-2004, 11:06 PM

As some here may know, I've posted about this before. It's an interesting and complex question (well, maybe not for some). I totally agree that it depends in large measure upon the quality and depth/duration of your relationship. My wife and I are commited to total honesty--however, that does NOT mean that we tell each other all; neither of us would want that. But it does mean that we're honest and open about anything that does come up. So here's my story:

We've been together for 30 years, and married for 23. There is no one I'd rather spend my life with, and I don't say that lightly. When we got married, we wrote our own vows and deliberately left out anything like "forsaking all others": not to give ourselves license to cheat, but because it cut against our grain (ok, so we were hippies and all that). When we met, my wife-to-be knew I was bisexual; in fact, I was in the only real gay relationship I've ever had, with a guy I had known for over a year and who I saw occasionally. We really enjoyed one another's company, and I loved the sex, but I was never remotely in love with the guy; just felt great to be with him over time. Well, my wife-to-be broke me out of that in no time; I fell for her in a big way (which has only happened maybe three other times in my life).

Fast forward to the 80s, when we got married and AIDS broke loose: I cut my gay contacts back to next-to-nothing. Now I'm the sort of bisexual who loves sex with men and women, but I've never been attracted to men as partners or in any real emotional way beyond friendship, but it was still a loss. At the same time, my interest in shemales grew, from early photos of Sulka and Carnal Candy to the Grooby girls and all. Finally, at age 50, I decided 'it's now or never - if I don't try being with a tgirl now, I never will.' So I started perusing Eros, found a lovely girl (who I became friends with and have continued to see now for over two years), called her up, and was off and running with my first ever Tgirl experience. However, at this pass I had not said anything to my wife: I figured I'd try it first, and see what developed.

Needless to say, it was TOTALLY different to any gay sex I had ever hand. Sure, she had a nice cock, but she was totally feminine and completely blew me away--the best orgasm I had had in 20 years. I was sold and knew I wanted more.

Well, that very night I came home and found my wife reviewing the phone calls which had come in. She has an interesting habit: she doesn't just listen to those who left messages, she also scans the incoming numbers to see who called without leaving a message. There was a number from CA. She looked at me and said, innocently enough, "Who called from San Francisco?" Well, it would have been easy to dodge with "someone at work" since my bosses have their corporate offices in SF, but here's where the honesty comes in: she asked, and I answered her honestly. The girl I had gone to see had called after I left and, being discrete, did not leave a message--but there was her cell phone number.

I told her all about the girl, how I had "met" her online (ok, no need to detail looking at eros.com etc., and she wouldn't want to know that part) and when I learned that she had come to Boston, decided to see her. It helped that my wife has always known that I'm bi, and that I'd given up that pleasure, and it also helped (in an odd way) that she has no interest in sex herself (she never has; I knew that going in; it's frustrating but I love her too much to walk away because she doesn't dig sex). She couldn't see denying me the pleasure, and so long as I play safe, she's perfectly content with it (in fact, she likes the fact that I have another outlet for sex now). She knows I'm not in love with anyone else, and she knows that there are two girls I see from time to time and even asks about how they're doing and all.

One other note: someone posted that it would be harder for your woman to accept your interest in a tg than in a gg, but one of the girls I see has suggested to me that my wife feels less threatened because she's not a gg, and there's logic there as well.

Jamie Michelle

11-09-2004, 11:22 PM

I dont want to be a blowhead, but some things are better left private.

if you guys ever split, her whole family will find out your secret, your whole family, all her friends, etc etc etc. (hell hath no fury...)

why volunteer a a huge potential problem for yourself?

just my cynical 2 cents.

I agree with you 100%

That's utter nonsense. The best way to live life is with no skeletons in the closet, and then you don't have to worry about someone using your hidden life against you--since you won't be hiding anything, and hence no hidden life of which could be used against you.

People pick up on your leadership cues. If you act like something is a deep, dark, awful secret then people will pick up on your shame, but if you are unapologetic and frank then people will see that it's not something which they can use to shame you.

Plus, male sexual interest in feminine males is a lot more mainstream than you might think, it's just that most guys won't talk about it while acting like it doesn't apply to them. Take masturbation for example, around 99% of guys masturbate but they usually won't talk about it, and it used to be not too long ago that they wouldn't even admit to doing it.

But for an example even closer to this forum's subject, take the movie star Eddie Murphy as just one example. He's sucked the cocks of an untold number of male-to-female transvestites and transsexuals going back to the early 1980s, but it was only when he was pulled over by the police in 1997 with the transsexual prostitute Shalimar (a.k.a. Atisone Kenneth Seiuli) that his hidden life came out, and he lied his ass off and acted as if he'd never been with a genetic male even once in his life. And what made it even worse for him was that he had been cheating on his wife with all his sexual escapades with male-to-female transgenderists. In many ways Eddie Murphy helped to create this situation himself, and deserved what he got, as he often used homosexuals and and homosexuality as the butt of his jokes in his stand-up comedy routines. But there are an untold number of self-proclaimed "perfectly straight" guys out there just like Eddie Murphy, i.e., they act as they would never so much as think about sexually being with another genetic male, and they put down homosexuality, when really they're every bit as turned on by feminine males as the people who post here.

But it's best to start living your life with no skeletons in the closet sooner rather than later, because the longer you keep those skeletons with you the deeper the hole of secrecy you dig for yourself, and you make it harder on yourself to eventually be honest with people.

Ecstatic

11-10-2004, 12:28 AM

Yep, that confirms what I thought and what my TG friend told me. I asked my wife about that and she wasn't so sure. Maybe, she said, but maybe not. Then again, she knows I'm bi, so she might think there's a chance I'd fall in love with a guy (ain't gonna happen, not that kind of love) or a tg (well, that could happen...there's a couple of girls I do love, but I'm not in love with--and I think that's an important distinction). My wife also went a step further--try it with a girl and we'll see how I react. hmm, should I? Haven't had any pussy in a long while....but then these days it's the tg's who turn me on, so who knows....

AllanahStarrNYC

11-10-2004, 01:38 AM

Clownin

11-10-2004, 01:45 AM

I think this post is very interesting and it only confirms one of my
theories about men- most of you want your cake and to it eat as well.

Close but not quite .. we want to have our cake ..eat it too .. and STILL have it!!! :wink:

Slither

11-10-2004, 02:15 AM

I think this post is very interesting and it only confirms one of my
theories about men- most of you want your cake and to it eat as well.

I am not criticizing or being judgemental, but the matter of fact is that a lie is still a lie, and living a lie is still living a lie.
Funny part is I just don't understand why people can not be honest with each other. Especially the person you live with?????

From a person who has been lied to & cheated upon, well, let me tell you it sucks to be on the other side. It sucks to find out you have been living a lie.

For me, that is why I do not want a marrige, a boyfriend- an anything.
Number one I am to self abosorbed and two,
the only circumstance would be in an open relationship. I really believe that is the only type of relationship that works.
Being in this industry has thought me so much about men and sexuality that I KNOW for a fact that monogamy is IMPOSSIBLE for a man (it might well be as well for a woman).

So tell me men, why is that you lie?
I know that some of you really do not like yourselfs for having this attraction. Guess what is the number one question i hear all day darlings?
And further more I think this self angst often translates itself to the
way some(do I dare say most?) men treat transsexuals and women, especially the objectification of trannsexuals as pure sex objects.

After all these years, (yes I' m no spring chicken darlings), I now know that I am not the problem. The fact is most men can't really handle this attraction.

because Men are addicted to sex, plain and simple. The fact is after a while a guy gets tired of sex with the same person every night. For most men, I think it has more to do with filling their own sexual needs rather than not loving their wife/girlfriend.

For me, when I saw shemales on the side when I was married I didn't do it because I wanted to divorce my ex-wife(well, I DID want to get a divorce, but for other reasons), but basically it was just to fill sexual desires. I never wanted to leave her for that reason, it's just something I did on the side.

And it has nothing to do with transsexuals being "Sex objects" because it would be the same thing if I was cheating with a GG.

But please, let's not make it like men are the only one who cheat. Not to get off topic beacuse this is a topic about transsexuals and wives, but women cheat just as much as men.

AllanahStarrNYC

11-10-2004, 02:43 AM

So you admit then that you lie or lied
that and in your eyes is/was ok?

What if your partnet did/does the same-
What would your reaction be?

magic9inch

11-10-2004, 02:45 AM

I LOVE MY CAKE. AN SHE DONT KNOW I LIKE A VARIETY OF CAKES. :wink:

Slither

11-10-2004, 02:54 AM

So you admit then that you lie or lied
that and in your eyes is/was ok?

What if your partnet did/does the same-
What would your reaction be?

Yes, I lied and it was wrong. and if my girlfriend/wife ever cheated on me I'd be extremely pissed. that's the cycle of cheating, you shouldn't do it but you do it anyway. Just like really, as far as our health goes, we shouldn't drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes or weed or whatever, but we do it anyway.

Clownin

11-10-2004, 03:18 AM

because Men are addicted to sex, plain and simple. The fact is after a while a guy gets tired of sex with the same person every night. For most men, I think it has more to do with filling their own sexual needs rather than not loving their wife/girlfriend.

OK ..not fer nothin , but thats a pantload. I'm sure you dont mean to generalize here .. but ya ARE. There is NO sex, like sex when you are with the RIGHT ONE. And it gets better all the time. To some that may sound unrealistic, but those who have been there KNOW what I'm talkin about.

Can I get an AMEN??? :wink:

Ecstatic

11-10-2004, 03:25 AM

I agree with Allanah that the best type of relationship is an open relationship. My wife and I wrote "open" into our marriage vows, and we always strive to be honest with one another (not necessarily telling all--neither of us would want to know "all"--but being honest whenever we ask one another to be). Do we always succeed? No, of course not, we're human and sometimes fail, but we always try. That's why when my wife asked me about the phone number of the escort I had visited that day I didn't hesitate but told her. Did I falter by not telling her I was going to see this girl beforehand? Possibly. I thought about it, but I didn't feel comfortable about it until afterward, and was not obligated to by our social contract or marriage vows. Open. Besides, it was a big step for already, and I didn't want to confuse things any further. But she never accused me of hiding or cheating and respected me for telling her about it that day when I could have easily hidden it.

By the way, the idiom should be "eat your cake and have it too." It's one thing to have your cake, then eat it. The trick is to eat your cake, then have it.

AllanahStarrNYC

11-10-2004, 03:38 AM

Slither

11-10-2004, 04:27 AM

See this is all very interesting-
However Slither you are almost excusing yourself from "bad" behaviour...
your argument about the smoking & drinking is irrelevant i think because those are generally behaviours that effect your own body, life
(of course that is not absolute)

We humans have something called self control.
And I don't think all men are sex addicts, because a sex addict is compulsive and that is really a behavioural problem.

What I think is most interesting thing is the double standards of most people who cheat have (both men & women) and the fact about how so many people are comfortable living these lies.
i mean, if you are going to get married (or be involved with someone)
and you pledge not to cheat (which is a bunch of bull) then well
you should hold to that agreement. if you do not, then why do it?
why get married, why have a girlfriend? for the comfort? the convinience?

I am not an advocate of monogamy and I believe those who advocate it should really practice it otherwise you are just a hypocrite. But then our society is very comfortable with being hypocritical about certain issues-
sex being one of them.

I'm not excusing myself from doing it. I know its wrong, and I know I shouldn't have done it. EVERYONE who cheats knows its wrong, I mean I really cant see anyone saying "well i'm gonna go screw some other person, but my husband/wife probably wont care anyway". I dont think I'm a chronic cheater or anything, and I dont buy into the theory that "once a cheater, always a cheater" because I think I could be in a relationship without cheating.

Also,l You can't say "Why get married if you're just going to cheat on your spouse" because I don't think anyone goes into a marriage with the intention of being unfaithful. It's just something that happens over time.

lurker

11-10-2004, 05:07 AM

Thanks to all for the interesting posts. Especially Ecstatic for sharing the story of you and your wife.

My wife and I love each very much. We came from similar background and have similar values. Neither of us are very religious, and we are almost exact opposites on politics.

I am now relieved that we shared our "dirty little secrets". I am no longer petrified of what she would do if she found out. And she knows that I am not passing judgement on her either. The thing is, we are both freaky perverts, we just have some tangents that go in different directions. And her not knowing is what made her believe she couldn't tell me. And I already knew about hers, I just needed for her to say it. And then be honest about whichever fantasies she wanted fulfilled. iOf the few shreds of my religious backgrounds remaining the biggest is the honesty thing. And now we can have that together even more than before.

The other shred is the one causing me to have the self-hatred thing. As noted by others, many of us do ask ourselves "does this make me gay?" For me i choose not to answer the question. What does it matter, I am who I am, i just don't need everyone to know. Hell, i don't even want everyone to know what i do with women, much less what i fantasize about womin. And whatever judgements i pass on myself are my own cross to bare, so to speak.

--lurker

lurker

11-10-2004, 05:13 AM

Toro,

yeah, some of the stuff you mentioned would freak me out. But if I opened the door I would have to deal with whatever came out. I already had a pretty good idea what to expect though.

the biggest thing in our case is that we did not plan an "open" marriage that Ecstatic enjoys. so whatever the fantasy or fetish there just couldn't be any fulfillment of it without sharing that plan and fantasy. In the case of some of the things you mentioned, we would have had to arrange the policy others live by... play safe, enjoy, and be discrete. but don't tell me, and i won't ask.

--lurker

Bluejay

11-10-2004, 06:03 AM

There's no point in living a lie...

My story:

I split from my ex-wife 7 years ago(who I get on with reasonable well) and by chance she came across some of my old video collection, which included a couple of shemale video's.

She started to make some jokes along the line that i was a closet cross dresser.

I put her straight and told her that I had an active interest in t-girls and that I had a t-girlfriend who I was in love with.

I told my kids and all of my friends that have been close to me..

My kids were happy for me and we've built stronger relationshps, they get on very well with my girlfriend. they both come over most weekends and we chill, in a normal sort of way. My daughter is close with my girlfriend and my son has a shared passion of computers and games with my girlfriend.

Sometimes we go clubbin with my daughter & occassionally we gone to T clubs, mainly to show her that there is a bigger world out there than what people might otherwise tell her.

It took me 5 yrs to get my ex-wife to meet my girlfriend, but i persisted mainly to stop any preconcieved ideas that i was dating a hairy man with stubble who liked dressing up in womens clothes and for her to see that my girlfriend was a real girl.

My girlfriends parents and family are extremely supportive as well.

I am very proud of my girlfriend and love her for who she is. I am more than happy to been seen with her day and night, I'm not interested in what anybody else thinks about my relationship.

Like most couples we have our ups and downs, but underlying we are a very strong unit and each others best friend.
:D

Ecstatic

11-10-2004, 06:26 AM

Nice post, lurker. One thing I want to make clear: by "open marriage" I don't just mean a marriage where anything goes and we are both free to do whatever we want with whomever we want. There's a strong element of that definition of open marriage, to be sure, but it was more a committment to one another to always be truthful, open, and trusting of one another: not to always tell all the truth--sometimes I get carried away in describing my time with my TG friends (and I don't just mean the sexual details, which she doesn't want to know those any more than she wants to see Victoria Secret commercials, which she despises), when it dawns on me (usually pretty quickly) that she really doesn't want to know all about our time together. Yet she does care; one girl I've known for a while was going through a rough patch and my wife was very supportive, asked about her, asked me to give her her best wishes (which I did, and my friend was very appreciative; my friend likewise always asks how my wife is doing).

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that we are open with one another: trusting, not secretive (but not prying or over-informing out of a sense of guilt or anything), truthful, free to be who we are on our own terms but sensitive to one another's needs and wishes as well. That sexual freedom is part of that is wonderful, and I love my wife for it; as a sexually active bi male, I was kind of bottling that up for years until I decided to investigate my lust for TGs, and such a release to let it go. Man, if I had waited another ten years, I'd've been 60....

BTW, lurker, I never had to ask the question "does this make me gay?" As a bi male, that certainly was never an issue for me. Well, ok, I don't broadcast it, and there are members of my family who would freak if I told them, so why rock their boat?

Hey Bluejay, sounds like you made the right move and found yourself a wonderful girl and companion. Good on you! One thing you didn't mention: how did your ex finally react upon meeting your girlfriend?

Bluejay

11-10-2004, 06:59 AM

Well my girlfriend and I moved apartments and decided to have a "house warming" party, to which i invited my ex.

My ex was pleasent and they ended up chatting about the only thing they had in common - me!

They have since met a couple of times at parties and we've been invited around on Christmas day.

However, I believe there's alot of girl on girl jealously going on from my ex's point of view, which is understandable considering the 27 years age gap between them.

NYCe

11-10-2004, 07:24 AM

to quote bill mahr:

men are as loyal as their options!!!

:D

Ecstatic

11-10-2004, 02:46 PM

Hey Bluejay, considering how badly most marriages end, it sounds like you've done alright. Cool.

Bluejay

11-10-2004, 06:21 PM

Ecstatic,

I can honestly say that I'm a very happy man, both on the outside and the inside.

My girlfriend is going to join the forum early next year,then your see why!

Who knows we might come across the pond in '05 for Allahah's parties.

djbj_2_2_69

11-16-2004, 06:19 AM

well i have a story that didn't end very well.
I had been going out with my girlfriend for just over 4 years at the time she found my "stash". we had been through alot together and i had tip-toed around the idea of telling her about my love of t-gurls, but never did for fear of what she would think, and even more about "outting" me to friends and family. When she found it she didn't take it very well. she never yelled at me, just cried alot and just didn't understand why i did what i did. i never once cheated on her w/ a ts or gg. it wasn't long after this that she broke up with me. it was a devistating thing and i miss her to this day, but i continue watching TS porn and even hung out with a few escorts, although i never had sex with any of them. (not that i didn't want to).
my ex never told anyone else (that i know of) as it has never come up. i have no idea what would have happend if i was honest about it and had a chance to explain myself before she stumbled across it. maybe she would have been more understanding.
i angrily justified it becuase i know for a fact that she had some skeliton's in her closet that when ever she would try to talk about it, she would cry uncontrolibly. i just assume we all have secrets and this is mine. and i choose to keep it that way.
i have sort of started a new relationship and have no idea what i will do. maybe throw out the dvd's and just do the internet thing? i dunno.
i guess i'll figure it out when it's time to cross that bridge.

Ecstatic

11-16-2004, 06:47 AM

Sorry to hear about that, djbj. It gets back to my point about an open marriage--not open only or even necessarily in the sense of being able to sleep with whomever you want (though that may play a big part), but open in that you are open to full disclosure with your SO. Of course, when to be so open can be rough, especially in the beginning. If something--anything--is apt to be an issue, you don't want to keep it hidden too long, but you also understandably don't want to blurt it out too soon. In this instance, where you haven't violated your SO in any way other than your stash of porn, I would think the potential offense very small. But I wouldn't approach it from the porn angle or the sexual attraction angle first; I would engage her in a discussion about transgender issues. Maybe there's a movie or TV show which touches on it, or an article in a magazine. Talk with her about it, then tell her that you've thought about this before, and that you're attracted to such women--unless she's adamantly opposed. Then you have some choices to make.

wiz77

11-18-2004, 11:23 AM

Well, I would have to say that I have a very loving and understanding wife. She knows everything there is about me. I have always been an adventurous person, however I wasn't always a trusting person when it came to my attraction to tg. I don't exactly remember how it came about that I told her, maybe through some fantasy revealed during intimate moments. I figured, I might as well be honest to her and myself. She was turned on by this, to my surprise. That lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I felt like I could be me. I could be attracted to whom I wanted. I didn't have to hide my collection of movies...Since then, we have been to tg clubs and she loves to watch the attention I might recieve or the attention she gets. Makes me love her all that much more. Just my 2 cents

Shandus

09-13-2005, 04:19 AM

I've been attracted to Tgirls since I was 13 (Thanks, Sulka), and I hid that from most of the significant women in my life, with two notable exceptions: One girl I dated for a while when I was 18, and when I told her about my fetish/fantasy, she couldn't handle it. The other was my wife, right after we got married. She took it like a trooper and let me have my fantasies and my collection of Tranny pics and videos. She just told me to leave them as nothing more than fantasies. We've been married for almost 13 years now, and I still have my fantasies. Of course, she's recently revealed to me that she has some lesbian fantasies as well. Now we're trying to find some good TS-GG porn.

geekmeat

09-13-2005, 05:19 AM

I think this post is very interesting and it only confirms one of my
theories about men- most of you want your cake and to it eat as well.

I am not criticizing or being judgemental, but the matter of fact is that a lie is still a lie, and living a lie is still living a lie.
Funny part is I just don't understand why people can not be honest with each other. Especially the person you live with?????

From a person who has been lied to & cheated upon, well, let me tell you it sucks to be on the other side. It sucks to find out you have been living a lie.

For me, that is why I do not want a marrige, a boyfriend- an anything.
Number one I am to self abosorbed and two,
the only circumstance would be in an open relationship. I really believe that is the only type of relationship that works.
Being in this industry has thought me so much about men and sexuality that I KNOW for a fact that monogamy is IMPOSSIBLE for a man (it might well be as well for a woman).

So tell me men, why is that you lie?
I know that some of you really do not like yourselfs for having this attraction. Guess what is the number one question i hear all day darlings?
And further more I think this self angst often translates itself to the
way some(do I dare say most?) men treat transsexuals and women, especially the objectification of trannsexuals as pure sex objects.

After all these years, (yes I' m no spring chicken darlings), I now know that I am not the problem. The fact is most men can't really handle this attraction.

Were do I start?
Why do transexuals think THEY are the only ones objectified in a sexual way?
Women are looked upon as sex objects even more than transexuals.
Get over it!
It comes with the territory.
Ill tell you another thing:Men are looked upon as sex objects too.
Maybe its not so overt but it is there.

One thing I WILL agree with you on is that at least some one like me cant handle my attraction to SOME(transexuals).

NYCe

09-13-2005, 06:26 AM

Were do I start?
Why do transexuals think THEY are the only ones objectified in a sexual way?
Women are looked upon as sex objects even more than transexuals.
Get over it!
It comes with the territory.
Ill tell you another thing:Men are looked upon as sex objects too.
Maybe its not so overt but it is there.

One thing I WILL agree with you on is that at least some one like me cant handle my attraction to SOME(transexuals).

:smh

likemetgirls

02-21-2006, 09:55 PM

Hi I'am new to the board. Just been going through some of the threads and noticed this one, and I just thought i would contribute with my own experience.

I have been interested in t girls for about 6 years or so. I have had several girlfreinds in that time, which I were so scared of telling or even hinting as to my interest in the girls, My friends and family would never understand so I have kept it to myself. I would by tgirl dvd's magazines and look at t-girl sites. Dont get me wrong I was into other porn as well and enjoyed all the sex I got with every woman I was with but I was still curious.

My current girlfreind found out my interest by discovering transactions on my statements and confronting me. She was angry that I had spent money behind her back but not about the t-girls. She asked me why I was interested. I told her why, she did'nt think I was gay or anything just curious and that the t girl thing was just a fantasy.

A few months prior my girlfreind had been interested in me taking her dildos up my ass. She found it very erotic and would cum in a matter of minutes.

So she told me after finding out my secret that she thought it was ok and that she would like to look at t-girls with me. And I have since fucked her in the ass for the first time which she just loved and she used a 7 inch dildo on my ass while I jerked off. We intend to buy a strap on in the near future so she can really go at it. Which has been her fantasy for a while she loves my ass and cock and our sex life since she has found out my secret has never been as good.

I love her so much and now that we do everything together, I feel so free and happy with my sex life and my future with my girlfriend.

Sorry to go on but this has been a big deal for me and i thought i would share it with some of the members in here

BeardedOne

02-22-2006, 12:33 AM

I'm surprised I never stumbled across this thread before (And I am so adept at 'thread necromancy' as one so aptly put it :) ). Maybe it's the word 'married' that scared me away.

Though never married (The 'ex' I refer to as such is only because 'ex' seems to be the only reference that people can grasp on to as regards that relationship, "The Wife" is a title bestowed on a friend that claims that the only thing missing is the ring, and all others are usually referred to in their actual state of being) and not currently (Or ever likely to be) with an SO of any gender, I can't speak to the 'being married' part of this thread. I have, however, noted some basic things that do touch home.

If I'm going to spend any appreciable amount of time with someone, especially if one or both of us is going to be nekkid in that time, they're going to know all of my 'dirty little sekrits', often above and beyond their desire to know them. Let's face it, I like to 'share'. :D

Many (I think it safe to say 'most') of my friends know about my bisexuality and that I am into T-girls. Those that don't probably assume that I am gay anyhow and have already conjured an image of me with a dick in my hand/mouth/ass in the back of their head already.

As regards 'lovers' (However loosely you might turn that definition), I've never hidden my desires, interests, or relationships from them or each other. Those that couldn't deal with it politely left the stage of intimacy (Though many remained friends/acquaintences), those that tried to change the scenery invariably failed to do so, and those that bravely tried to understand how I 'tick' are still winding their clocks.

I try not to be the 'typical man', by Allanah's definition (OK, so I've fibbed about the cheque in the post, oopssorrysosueme :P ), but the stamp's already on me by basic genetic association.

To those that are married or with an SO or LTR and are actively involved in TS/TG 'fandom' (For lack of better reference) and lieing about it or hiding it from those closest to you, you don't need a partner, you're already fucked.

:soapbox

dabaldone

02-22-2006, 12:35 AM

Well, a topic I can relate to. I was married, twice to the same woman (insert sarcastic commet here). I had been dating TS women off and on for a while before I met her (20 yrs total). I think I remarried her because...well...she kinda looks like a pretty TS. Tall slender almost too pretty to be believable. But, I could never shake the fact that I had a desire for TS women. After her preganacy, the sex stopped and I couldn't take it anymore. Hell, I gave her almost a year to "get back to normal". But she didn't and I started dating TS women. We got divorced aand I date TS women almost exclusively. I know it's what I prefer, she knows, my family knows. Even my son knows. So what. It doesn't mean I'm anyless of a man. I just like a "special" kind of woman.

djbj_2_2_69

02-23-2006, 09:35 AM

I think "To each his/her own" was made for this topic.

Tommyboy_msu

10-11-2008, 06:34 PM

My wife and I are swingers, she knows that I love T-girls and she doesn't mind, but they do nothing for her. She loves to watch guys fuck and suck each other and wants me to join in, but I only like T-girls. I am on the lookout for a passable T-girl in the Detroit area so my wife can watch and hopefully will join in.

Justawannabe

10-11-2008, 09:32 PM

wow... kinda glad I wasn't around when this thread first saw the light of day.

One thing I will say, is if you take your experience as a sex provider as evidence that all men are cheaters... well you taking your data from a pretty self selecting group that will support your theory. If you expand your pool to include folks in the nightlife scene and who want to associate with folks in the sex trade... well your still selecting from that crowd, though I expect more to simply choose not to enter committed relationships there.

It's like looking for a non-drinker, non-smoker, good christian boy with a day job and good work ethic in a late night gay bar. Could happen but isn't likely... but that doesn't mean such boys don't exist. Just means they tend to be married and getting home to sleep so they can get to work the next day.

Just pissed off today, and sick of the constant man hate from folks.

Sean

shay

10-12-2008, 12:53 AM

from a married guy. ts clubs are a lot of fun. hot women and good music. become friends with a few t girls. no sex, none, they know its not going to happen. its not easy staying faithful, but thats what marriage is. cant be, stay single and have fun. thats all there is. there are men that stay faithful. no matter what. i like to club, all types. dont care whos there, just as long as everyone respects each other. straight, tg, gay, bi and whatever else there is. who cares. not me. im straight, married and pretty happy. we are able to have it all. we can evolve to a state where our intellect can be stronger then are sex drive. its true folks. just open your minds and do what is right for you and the ones you love. no one has the right to hurt just because our DRIVE is so strong. we are grownups. lets act like we are. we are more then biological entities. most important as human beings we ali deserve repect. my 2 cents.

Space_Cowboy

10-12-2008, 02:06 AM

Well I’m not married, but my GF found out about my TS interest when I forgot to clear my internet history, I was gutted cos I’d done a really good job hiding my dvd,s for the past 2 years...

I tell you that was one awkward conversation, at first I was like making up a story about how I kept getting diverted by pop ups and stuff (the only think I could think of at the time) but she saw straight through that due to the amount of websites I had been on :(
Anyway she kind of flipped for a while, partly I guess because we are kind of a clean cut couple so it came out of the blue, but when she had cooled off we sat down and talked things over and I guess the most important thing for her was making sure I was not gay and that I defiantly loved her, once I had explained that only find TS attractive and not men, she was surprisingly ok with it and even makes private jokes every now and again when something comes on the tele about TS, it can be embarrassing though as she made one recently when she was pissed in front of my best friend and he totally cottoned on and now keeps winding me up ... in fact he pulled a funny prank on me at work which I will save for another time.

I really don’t think there is a clear cut tell or don’t answer, I think its how you deal with your GF or wife and how much they want to be with you/love you and vice versa. I love my GF and she Love me so we worked it out, she has even hinted at letting me see a TS escort as long as I’m open about it wahoo

scorpion

10-12-2008, 02:23 AM

my lover is well equipped guys
and none of them has a girlfriend... :D :D

callahac

10-12-2008, 12:41 PM

My wife knows and also knows I am into guys as well. When she first found out about my interest in shemales she was shocked, but eventually came to accept it. After many years she also has gotten into watching shemale porn with me and playing shemale fantasies while in bed to keep me interested...will also use dildos and strap on on me. When she found out about the gay thing- that did not shock her, although she really was hoping I wasn't into it. she said she figured as much, since if I was into girl cock I was probably into gay cock. She hasn't watched any gay porn with me yet, but I am sure she probably will at some point. She does go through the gay pics on my PC from time to time, just to check up on what I am looking at, and she what sort of guys, and sex acts I am looking at.

We are totally open about everything. We both agree that if we hadn't married I probably would be living a gay life. But we are married, we are best friends and we plan to stay together becasue there is more to life than just sex.

Dinand

10-12-2008, 12:43 PM

I'm single myself so I can do whatever I want, it's better that way :-)

Gmanfromthechi

10-12-2008, 05:18 PM

I agree with u totally shay.

I have been dating the same girl for 3 1/2 years. While Ive never flat out told her I like tgirls, shes pretty much on to it due to the fact that I had more an more tgirls on my myspace friends list, and she had joked about how I liked "the drag queen look" when it came to makeup, an I agreed. Well she took that as me admitting I liked tgirls, and so far I dont think thats changed. She seems ok with it, except when we go to a particular club, then she gets a lil jealous cuz I absolutely cant help but look and sometimes stare at the gorgeous girls.

Now, even tho I am not very happy in my relationship, and I dig tgirls more then gg's, I have never cheated on her. I am saying this to disprove the notion that us men are helpless hornballs who ALWAYS cheat. We're not. Sure, I look at only tranny porn, look at eros, and fantasize about gurls daily. An ya, even tho I have a gorgeous stripper girlfriend, I still stare at gurls when we're out. Im taken, not dead. Yet I still manage to somehow stay faithful. So to all the ppl out there who think all us tranny lovers are only shameful cheating lurkers, we're not.