Need input on dating a girl who is just starting transition.

[JDeskimo]

First off I would like to thank Scorpion and BreadedOne for there input on my last post. I promise to updated this post faster than my last one, sorry.

So I have searched everywhere and I finally found a girl that I really like or she found me. I think she is everything that I’m looking for in a girl so I really don’t want to screw this up.

The situation is she is just starting her transition and will be full time in about a year. The only place that she still dresses as an androgynous man is work. Right now she is in a TS support group, doing counseling and will be starting hormones soon. She will also start having surgery right after going full time, no that she needs a lot.

So my question is; what transition specific problems should I be ready for? I know there will be good and bad days, but I really don’t want to wreck a good thing because I said or did the wrong thing.

Thanks

[Caleigh]

wow, i think that's great that you found someone special to be with. you also sound like a really sweet guy that you are so concerned about making sure that you don't hurt her feelings etc.

as with most relationships even when you are trying to say the right thing at some point you are going to say the wrong thing but hey, that's life.

i think the most important thing is to listen to her, be there for her, show that you ARE there for her, that you have her back, that you support her in her transition.

your gf may get a bit moody and emotionally delicate both because of the hormones and just because of all the stress of transition. she will be worrying constantly about being "read" probably and might become a bit paranoid. that seems to be par for the course but you can reassure her that most of the time if people are looking at you, they are just looking at you, not because you are TS, just because they are looking around.

i was very lucky to meet someone just after i started transition and we have been together over 7 years now. i wish she was awake to give you some advice.

blessings

[peggygee]

To paraphrase Betty Davis, buckle up, because it is going to be a bumpy ride. :roll:

Transitioning, for all parties involved can be one of the most difficult experiences in life to say the least.

It can also be one of the most empowering and affirming, as well, though.

I personally think it is a good thing that she is undergoing counseling, and availing herself of the services of a professional, too often women, make this journey by themselves.

On that note, I might even suggest that you give some thought to talking this over with a clinician as well, as it clearly will impact you in many unexpected ways.

Educating yourself as much as you can on the subject matter, is also going to help. Read, research and ask questions, that will aid in the process.

Bottom line, though will be, that you try to be as supportive and understanding as you can be for her during this trying time.

Best of luck,

Peg....

[TheOne1]

"Let's say there was a little girl, and from the time she could understand, she was taught to fear... let's say she was taught to fear daylight. She was taught that it was her enemy, that it would hurt her. And then one sunny day, you ask her to go outside and play and she won't. You can't be angry at her can you?"


She'll only break your heart, it's a fact. And even though I warn you, even though I guarantee you that the girl will only hurt you terribly, you'll still pursue her. Ain't love grand?

~great expectations

[Caleigh]

wow, sounds like there are some broken hearts out there