Stavros
12-01-2018, 07:35 AM
Every year the Literary Review selects from new novels the scenes which it judges to be examples of “the most egregious passage of sexual description in a work of fiction”. There is a link to the article with extracts from the candidates, but these two from the same source occasioned much laughter-
“I yearned again for the cogs of her Iron Maiden to grind my glans around inside her like an opera singer with a mouth lozenge.”
“Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground down by the enamelled pepper mill within her"
(Scoundrels, "Major Victor Cornwall and Major Arthur St John Trevelyan”),
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/nov/30/haruki-murakami-and-james-frey-lead-all-male-shortlist-for-bad-sex-award
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/nov/30/bad-sex-award-2018-the-contenders-in-quotes
“I yearned again for the cogs of her Iron Maiden to grind my glans around inside her like an opera singer with a mouth lozenge.”
“Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground down by the enamelled pepper mill within her"
(Scoundrels, "Major Victor Cornwall and Major Arthur St John Trevelyan”),
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/nov/30/haruki-murakami-and-james-frey-lead-all-male-shortlist-for-bad-sex-award
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/nov/30/bad-sex-award-2018-the-contenders-in-quotes