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04-23-2014 #171
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- Apr 2014
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04-23-2014 #172
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- Dec 2011
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- 421
Re: Just broke up with TS girlfriend, can't do it anymore
I have been in 2 major relationships with transsexual women.
When my family found out the first one's trans status (pre op transsexual) I basically lost my family because of that. It is only recently that I have come into limited contact with my family again.
I used to dread having to introduce her to my family, not because I was ashamed of her, but because I almost knew exactly how my family would react. If it would've been up to me, I would've kept BOTH my family and my gf. But she Insisted, and out of respect I thought it was the right thing to do. It turns out it was. I found out my family's true colors. But at the same time, I feel she was not worth losing my family over. We broke up over stupid trivial stuff (in her mind. i call it "trans world issues") and had I somehow known that in advance, I would not have lost my family for her.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that it is difficult for us guys to. You girls think you have it difficult? Hell yea you do, but so do we , as your lovers, boyfriends, husbands.
ON the one hand, we want to keep our girl happy, and make her feel like we are proud to be at her side, and at the same time, we want our family in our life.
So, when trans girls bring up the issue, I'm really sensitive about it because of my situation and what happened to ME. I do not speak for all trans admirers or guys that date trans. But I'm sure I'm not the only one that has experienced what I experienced.
Had I known how things would've turned out, I would've preferred to keep my family.
Why? Relationships come and go. Family , while bigoted and misunderstanding sometimes, is there for the long run. Down to the talks, perhaps staying with them if you fall on hard times, for memories , for medical issues and other.
I feel if anyone is going to lose family over a relationship, she better be worth it and the one.
5 out of 5 members liked this post.
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04-23-2014 #173
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04-23-2014 #174
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- Apr 2014
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- 13
Re: Just broke up with TS girlfriend, can't do it anymore
Hi!!
Sorry to hear that your family reacted like that. Dont get me wrong. I am very understanding when it comes to such things... but I know for a fact he will never lose his family because of me... they are open minded... even his friends are open minded. I would not let a boyfriend risk his family for me.
His family is not religious /and appears to me to be very gay friendly. I know this because I got to know his family through him...pictures... stories...still he dreads taking me... I no longer want it now.
I dont want a relationship at this moment in my life. I have some disappointments to deal with first. This relationship being one of them.
On one hand... its easy to complain about a trans being insecure and having issues... on the other hand...I hope most guys realise that if they treat a T girl differently then they would treat a woman... trouble could be coming. (be it socially, mentally, sexualy, romanticly etc).
Also Tgirls can be so insecure because they know they have less options that they will go though long ends and accept more shit from the other in a relationship. In the end, it really breaks you down. But giving up easely is not something I do. But men can take advantage of that.
They can become selfish in their ways... and neglecting the needs of the girl.
Oh and I do not need or like to label lovers (hetero, bisexual gay etc). He can be gay for all I care. I love masculine men... that top. And are a bit dominant kinky. I dont care about their sexual identity and I do not care how they see me. I care how they TREAT me. If they are able to make me feel feminine. Believe me! A heterosexual men that does not find me "feminine" enough and dislikes parts of my body... does not make one feel feminine at all!
As a matter of fact. A gay man would be better cause I would never have to worry that he would feel ashamed of being with me.
0 out of 1 members liked this post.Last edited by caldara; 04-23-2014 at 07:40 PM.
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04-23-2014 #175
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- Apr 2014
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- 13
Re: Just broke up with TS girlfriend, can't do it anymore
So even though he would lose nothing he chose not to invite me. Not at his home or in his life. It really makes me feel unpassable and ugly even...like I am not good enough....exactly like you say it... like I am NOT the one... and that I am not worth it.
If you love someone that can really sting deeply and has all sorths of effects on the relationship.
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04-23-2014 #176
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- Apr 2014
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- 13
Re: Just broke up with TS girlfriend, can't do it anymore
I am very curious what kind of issues these are.
Thats why they suck. It is such an illusion. Convincing yourself you love another person above anyone else and then when bad times come... nothing is left of it. It is bizarre! I would rather have more very very good friends then a boyfriend.
1 out of 1 members liked this post.
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04-23-2014 #177
Re: Just broke up with TS girlfriend, can't do it anymore
Never had a relationship with anyone but GG's (so far),and I wouldn't even take them to meet my family.
It's not that I want to hide anything from anyone,but my family aren't people I want anything to do with.
The horror stories of what they've done to me are too many to list,so I avoid them,unless I HAVE to have something to do with them. It's not a situation I'd put someone I love into.
3 out of 3 members liked this post.I'm the most amazing person you'll never know,because society has convinced you I should be ignored or avoided. Want to know something? Ask... Just ask.
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04-23-2014 #178
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- Apr 2014
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04-23-2014 #179
Re: Just broke up with TS girlfriend, can't do it anymore
That really sucks. Most girls go through this so I understand that its hard but I can't have too much sympathy when it comes to using it as a reason to keep a girl a secret. We as ts woman go through so much to be the woman you love, admire and/or lust over.I dont think its too much to as that my partner has a fraction of the courage and sacrifice I did.
If you family truly and unconditionally love you than they will come around. My family are really conservative west Africans (god could you imagine their initial reaction smh).I went years with only the barest of contact but the most affirming momment so far in my womanhood was when my father said he loved and accepted me as his daughter.
Sure those years of being ostracized were painful but it was worth it.I not only have my family back but I know they love and respect me for me.
hang tight homie
1 out of 1 members liked this post.
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04-23-2014 #180
Re: Just broke up with TS girlfriend, can't do it anymore
My last ex introduced me to his family with no hesitation at all.In fact he was the one pushing me to meet them lol.I was so nervous and scared for the obvious reasons but they were so kind and welcoming.He was the only man who wanted a serious future with me (marriage talk lol).
There are men and families out there that will fully love you for you and not have hang ups.You just have to wait for him to come into your life. Dont waste time on guys that want to treat you less than or differently than you deserve.You will end up hurt and jaded (which is going to cause trust issues when the right guy does come along).
2 out of 2 members liked this post.
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