Girls: would you prefer a sugar baby relationship over escorting?

[dominic.perron]

Hey all,
I'm a lurker here, but I'm inspired by a recent thread by Nina_Lisa about whether men prefer to be sugar daddies or do they prefer to hire escorts. I'm curious about how the transwomen feel about their side of the debate, as it is contextually important to me personally.

My situation: I'm a confident, masculine and handsome hetero-generic dude who is trans-oriented by nature. I'm happily married to a genetic woman who is fully aware of my attraction to transgendered women. She celebrates and encourages my attraction to transwomen and, recently, has given me the green light to explore a sexual encounter with a transwoman.



So naturally, I look toward escorts for my situation. The goal is to have an experience without any emotional weirdness to follow it. But I understand that many transwomen approach escorting to finance their transition. I also understand that many escorts have substance abuse issues. My solution would be to find a transwoman in the early stages of her transition and help her finance that transition without needing to escort.

So, my question to the TS ladies on this site-- would you appreciate a trans-oriented sugar daddy who would help finance your transition in the interest of keeping you out of pornography and escorting? Would you find it insulting if I found you on a TS dating website and offered such a relationship? Not to be crass, but would you feel like I was trying to whore you out?

I truly love TS women, I admire the courage you have to strive to become who you were born to be and I think most humans don't have your courage. I find you immensely attractive and I want to help, but I have to be honest in that part of my motive is sexual. Thereby, I feel a sugar daddy relationship suits everyone involved.

I'm eager to hear how the TS community feels about sugar daddy/baby relationships. I don't want to offend anyone in the process, but I imagine it beats the alternative for some TS women.

[dominic.perron]

Oh, and it should be said-- any man who is afraid to be seen in public with a transwoman isn't worthy of your time. Go fuck a love doll, douchebags.

[GroobyKrissy]

Well... this should be interesting.

Am I alone thinking that this...just...sounds...creepy?

I'm sure you meant it as sweet and supportive, but I find this type of questioning to be somewhat cloyingly manipulative.

The right things were said I suppose, and I wouldn't find it 'insulting' per se... Ah. What I find insulting is the assumption ("...in the interest of keeping you out of pornography and escorting...") that those in porn and escorting (the latter I rarely do anymore) are doing it because there are no other options. That assumption negates the niceties of your other statements so please clarify...?

[dominic.perron]

Am I alone thinking that this...just...sounds...creepy?

I'm sure you meant it as sweet and supportive, but I find this type of questioning to be somewhat cloyingly manipulative.

The right things were said I suppose, and I wouldn't find it 'insulting' per se... Ah. What I find insulting is the assumption ("...in the interest of keeping you out of pornography and escorting...") that those in porn and escorting (the latter I rarely do anymore) are doing it because there are no other options. That assumption negates the niceties of your other statements so please clarify...?

It totally sounds creepy, Krissy. And given that I'm a lurker, it's hard for me to come here and say this. You're right in that my intentions were to be supportive, but I don't intend to be manipulative.

I don't feel that pornography and escorting are the only route to finance a transition. In many cases, they're an opportunity for expression for transgendered people. My pretty uneducated opinion tells me that a portion of transgendered women don't really want to approach escorting or porn to finance their transition. That doesn't make them better than the women who do work in porn or escorting. The choice, for transwomen, is the whole reason I raise my voice.

Yeah, I could just go bang a local escort here in Tampa and be done with it. But I might be in a position to bust a cycle that leads to exploitation for transgendered women, at least in my individual case. Hence me asking-- is there a way I can do this that enriches my potential partner's life in a way that precludes pornography or prostitution in the traditional sense?

If so, fucking awesome.

[dominic.perron]

also, since most of the other trans-oriented dudes here on HA talk without showing themselves, here's a recent self-portrait and I don't mean to be douchey:

[GroobyKrissy]

It totally sounds creepy, Krissy. And given that I'm a lurker, it's hard for me to come here and say this. You're right in that my intentions were to be supportive, but I don't intend to be manipulative.

I don't feel that pornography and escorting are the only route to finance a transition. In many cases, they're an opportunity for expression for transgendered people. My pretty uneducated opinion tells me that a portion of transgendered women don't really want to approach escorting or porn to finance their transition. That doesn't make them better than the women who do work in porn or escorting. The choice, for transwomen, is the whole reason I raise my voice.

Yeah, I could just go bang a local escort here in Tampa and be done with it. But I might be in a position to bust a cycle that leads to exploitation for transgendered women, at least in my individual case. Hence me asking-- is there a way I can do this that enriches my potential partner's life in a way that precludes pornography or prostitution in the traditional sense?

If so, fucking awesome.

Well, you're reasonable response to my rather pointed one tells me that at least you're here in the right spirit.

Honestly, I think it will go MILES in your favor if you just look for a relationship first. Once you throw money into the equation you're increasing your chances of:

A. Not being taken seriously.
B. Taken too seriously and taken advantage of.

Precluding marriage, I think if you ask any girl out there, the thought of a serious, steady, drama-free relationship is worth more than amount of actual dollars offered. Actually, I'll just speak for myself and say that I would most certainly prefer THAT to bills being floated my way.

[dominic.perron]

Totally well-said, Krissy. I feel that my situation is difficult in that I'm already in a relationship. I'm happily married to an understanding wife. She welcomes and encourages my interest in transwomen, but my experience there precludes a potential "relationship" with a transwoman in the traditional sense.

So as a result, I think it would be selfish for me to just find a transwoman who wants a short-term sexual relationship without strings of any kind. The normal dude would just hire an escort. I can easily afford an escort. But there might be a t-girl out there who would appreciate a guy who appreciates her position, encourages her development and wouldn't mind a sugar-style friendship for both parties.

Fuck, it sounds douchey to me just staying it. I think my point is that I've been pro-trans for over a decade. I'd love for transwomen to have a choice for how they finance their transition. I don't know, I just don't want to be a tranny chaser john who gets his rocks off, I want to fucking help in some way. Instead of objectifying a girl who is escorting to finance her transition, I'd love to find a friend who I can help financially while they transition. It might be all gray area to anyone else, but shit-- I want to invest in someone else's well-being and my personal interests are secondary at best.

I don't know, forget about it. I think I have a good intent here but don't want to be a douchey preacher about it...

[GroobyKrissy]

Well, it sounds like you're off to a good start.

In my opinion, people who acknowledge their own douchebaginess are seldom the actual douchebags.

Good luck to you

[dominic.perron]

Thanks Krissy Just trying to be real about myself while doing the least damage to the community as possible. I appreciate the input, and I hope to find someone who could use the attention and investment from a guy who has a transwoman's best interests at heart.

If we're ever in the same town, Krissy, I owe you a friendly beer, wine or cocktail if you have time.

[GroobyKrissy]

Always time for fruity drinks with umbrellas. It is those damn umbrellas that are just too cute to pass up.