In love with a married man

[youngblood61]

He and his wife need to sort this out. You may have to take a step back jmo.

[Bruce Wayne]

I would not pursue a relationship with him while he is married. If he gets a divorce than I say pursue a relationship. The guy is dealing with alot and his mind is confused and stressed.

[tsadriana]

I am friends with a man who is 10 yrs my jr, and married with three children under the age of five. We where strictly friends until he started to chat me up on facebook and we met at his house while his wife & kids where out of town. I now find myself feeling guilty for sleeping with him, but genuinely in love with man and the feeling is mutual. Should I trust my heart and continue to meet with him in hopes of finding love or trust my mind that says this isn’t right?

hUN BEEN THERE ,DONE THAT AND TRUST ME YOU WILL HAVE ONLY TO SUFFER...hE WILL NEVER LEAVES HIS WIFE AND KIDS .and the only one who will suffer its u not him.....the begining always looks good but the end its so painful...u will be hurt...its better to get out of this relantionship soon as you can and better keep him as a friend.Most married guys confuse love with lust ..If he is really genuine with his felleng ,then first step its to sort his life out first and after if he really feels for you to be in a relantionship with you.

[Rusty Eldora]

tsadriana is pretty much on track for the majority of cases, but there are other situations.

I have a mistress for 10 years (now live with her) that is also still married. Her husband has lived across the country the whole time, mine moved 3 years ago. There are real reasons we are both still married, but basically our marriages are gone, except we haven't had the lawyers feed on us. All kids are long gone grown up. It is working here.

Consider the kids, him, yourself, and yes his wife with each step in your relationship with him. You need to be able to look back and feel that you have made your best choices and have no regrets for yourself. He may be just using you for lust, or there may be love.

Being a bit back from it as more a friend verses exclusive lover would be highly recommended. That will let things evolve without you being strung up in the 3rd act. It is also quite likely that "Mr Right" hasn't made his entrance into your life, be sure you don't block those chances.

[tsadriana]

tsadriana is pretty much on track for the majority of cases, but there are other situations.

I have a mistress for 10 years (now live with her) that is also still married. Her husband has lived across the country the whole time, mine moved 3 years ago. There are real reasons we are both still married, but basically our marriages are gone, except we haven't had the lawyers feed on us. All kids are long gone grown up. It is working here.

Consider the kids, him, yourself, and yes his wife with each step in your relationship with him. You need to be able to look back and feel that you have made your best choices and have no regrets for yourself. He may be just using you for lust, or there may be love.

Being a bit back from it as more a friend verses exclusive lover would be highly recommended. That will let things evolve without you being strung up in the 3rd act. It is also quite likely that "Mr Right" hasn't made his entrance into your life, be sure you don't block those chances.

Trust me i wont block the chances lik you said Mister Right soon or later will come so im patient im not rushing it.

[youngblood61]

hUN BEEN THERE ,DONE THAT AND TRUST ME YOU WILL HAVE ONLY TO SUFFER...hE WILL NEVER LEAVES HIS WIFE AND KIDS .and the only one who will suffer its u not him.....the begining always looks good but the end its so painful...u will be hurt...its better to get out of this relantionship soon as you can and better keep him as a friend.Most married guys confuse love with lust ..If he is really genuine with his felleng ,then first step its to sort his life out first and after if he really feels for you to be in a relantionship with you.

[Prospero]

I think Adriana talks a lot of sense

[danthepoetman]

I am friends with a man who is 10 yrs my jr, and married with three children under the age of five. We where strictly friends until he started to chat me up on facebook and we met at his house while his wife & kids where out of town. I now find myself feeling guilty for sleeping with him, but genuinely in love with man and the feeling is mutual. Should I trust my heart and continue to meet with him in hopes of finding love or trust my mind that says this isn’t right?

Good advices from Adriana (as always) and from everbody else. But what worries me, Erika, is that the last time you shared with us something like this, the last time you seemed to be really in love, you suffered a whole lot when it broke down. I'm very worried for you this time, considering the situation. Please, Erika, you have to take a step back, here. Now. Don't get too involved emotionally unless you know the guys is reorganizing his life to be with you. You need to take an emotional step back from this one, Erika, not get too emotionally involved! Make sure that things are "physically" possible before letting yourself fall madly for him; I mean make sure he will change his life to be with you first.
I'm especially affraid of this guilt, you're feeling now. I suspect you are being manipulated a little, here. Please also don't take on your own shoulders the whole responsability of what's happening, here. This guy probably knows exactly what he's doing. On the other hand, you, Erika, you are irrisistibly attracted to him. So don't feel guilt now, and prepare yourself not to feel guilt after: just take an emotional step back and think the whole thing thru. And especially, TALK ABOUT IT OPEN HEARTEDLY WITH HIM AND DEMAND THAT HE REORGANIZE HIS LIFE. Then you'll know what's comming.
To me, my friend, it's exactly the kind of things you should avoid. You're still fragile, I'm sure. Don't risk your well being, Erika, please! Learn from the past!
You are someone precious and a good friend. I really hope you find a way to be happy, but I'm affraid this is not it...

[youngblood61]

Hope things work out Erika.

[Erika1487]

Thank you all for your advice. I am seriously taking a look at the situation and realizing that I am in a little over my head on this one. I talked to him yesterday and told him I needed some time to think about things and to give me space.
I might be love struck with him but, I am no fool. I did a background check on him and found out that he has been arrested three times in the last two years. The most serious crime was a DOMESTIC VIOLENCE charge which he was found guilty of and served jail time for. From the court documents, he had an argument and he struck his then pregnant wife.
Maybe this should be a red flag, but he tells me that he is a changed man and feels regret over what he had done.
Right now I just need a break to think things through.