The Best Joke You Know

[ghostofbillhicks]

Two fish in a tank ....
... and neither could drive it

[johnb]

i'll think of a few more in a few, so i can post them and get my poster rating advanced, but right now i'm going to look at the black tgirl cock thread

[ghostofbillhicks]

a noble diversion my friend

[Hugh Jarrod]

Guy walks into the woods with a little girl.
The girl says 'mister, I'm really scared.'
The guy says: 'oh, you're scared? I've got to walk back on my own ...'

I am so, so sorry .....

You should be, and with a name like that you'd think this would be your thread.

[Quinn]

I really like racial humor. With that in mind, here are two rather innocent jokes that pertain to my own heritage:

a) What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life? Third grade.
b) How can you identify an Irish pirate? He's the one with patches over both eyes.

-Quinn

[Hugh Jarrod]

I really like racial humor. With that in mind, here are two rather innocent jokes that pertain to my own heritage:

a) What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life? Third grade.
b) How can you identify an Irish pirate? He's the one with patches over both eyes.

-Quinn

Last I heard those they were Polish jokes. Polish are "stupid" allegedly, and the "Irish" are drunks.

[ManOfSteel]

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine years old and the other one is four years old. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for checkout. The cashier asks, "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"
The nine-year-old replies "Nope, not for my mom."
Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?"
The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either."
The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister? Who are they for?"
The nine year old says, "They're for my four year old little brother."
The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother?"
The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these, you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!"

[Hugh Jarrod]

Here's one -- A young man leaves behind his life of crime by joining the French foriegn legion. His first assignment stations him in the desert. The first day he enters the Captain's tent and asks where the women are. The Captain says "There is a camel out back." The young man says "No way." and leaves, the captain just shrugs his shoulders. Three months later he enters the captain's tent again and asks "What do we do for female companionship?" again the Captain says "There is a camel out back." This happens again in three months, and again in another three months. Finally three months go by again and he enters the Captain's tent with the same question and the captain says "Look if I told you once, I've told you a thousand times! There is a camel out back!" So the young man goes out back of the tent and sees a camel. He decides he can't take it anymore so he gets up behind the camel and starts fucking it, he's so horny it doesn't take long, and so he does it three times for at least a half an hour. Finished he makes his way back into the tent, whilst buckling his pants the captain asks "You must've been really horny?" The young man answers "You know I was." and the captain replies "It takes most guys about a half hour alone just to ride into town."

[Hugh Jarrod]

Two old jewish men walk by a church which has a sign in the window that says "Convert for $10.00" Fival looks to Herman and says "I like being who I am Herman, but ten dollars is ten dollars." So Fival enters the church, and comes out a half an hour later. Herman stares at him and says "Well did you get your ten dollars?" Fival answers "What is it with you people and money!?"

[Hugh Jarrod]

Five year old Billy is sitting in class when the teacher ask the children to look at their vocabulary list, pick a word from the list, and use it in a sentence. Billy raises his hand, when the teacher calls on him he chooses the word contagious. The teacher then asks "Can you use contagious in a sentence Billy?" Billy replies "Yes, my father saw the neighbor lady painting her fence with a small brush, and said it'll take that contagious (cunt ages) to paint the fence with that brush."