A Question about "Topping" in relationships.

[tsmandy]

It's really funny to read guy after guy talking about what most escorts experience.

Well guys, in my experience. You are all wrong. Most of my clients have not been bottoms. Maybe thats because I don't generally shoot a hot steaming load of jizz in their face, so I get the crowd that doesn't care about such things.

Really I would say the vast majority of my clients have been "first-timers" (though sometimes I think that lie is a big part of the fantasy), generally guys (though a few women) who have no idea what to do with a TS because they've only ever had sex with women, and they come to me looking to learn something new. And something new is what I am very good at.

Ecstatic, I'm glad we are on the same page. I don't think the TS community can be so easily lumped into the conservative gender role category however, perhaps the world that is represented here is, but my world has proved quite the opposite. There are still some of us for whom trans is more than just gender, its also transgression, and we mix it up, all the fucking time.

xoxo
mandy

[Ecstatic]

Ecstatic, I'm glad we are on the same page. I don't think the TS community can be so easily lumped into the conservative gender role category however, perhaps the world that is represented here is, but my world has proved quite the opposite. There are still some of us for whom trans is more than just gender, its also transgression, and we mix it up, all the fucking time.

xoxo
mandy

Cool. I didn't mean to imply the ts community as a whole, or even necessarily the majority of the community. In my experience, the community is quite diverse, so I really only raised that issue about conventionality for that portion of the ts community for which it may apply. I do think it does apply, at least for some.

Love this: "There are still some of us for whom trans is more than just gender, its also transgression, and we mix it up, all the fucking time." Transgression, yeah!

[a994]

(Didn't we have this thread recently?)

Yeah, it's every other thread, actually.

[tsmandy]

(Didn't we have this thread recently?)

Yeah, it's every other thread, actually.

Maybe there should just be a specific forum along with General Discussion, Personals, Politics and sports for Sexuality

[a994]

"Top" and "bottom" come from the gay world and among gay men, there are not many butch-fem couples (unlike lesbians, where it's common). Skinny little fem twinks tend to date skinny little fem twinks and big burly masculine bears date other big burly masculine bears. I lived on Capitol Hill in Seattle and worked between two gay bars - one was Neighbors, a trendy dance club and the other was The Cuff, a leather bar. It showed clearly the segregation in the gay community.

So what I'm saying is that there are many fem tops and butch bottoms, they're sexual preferences, not gender markers. Yet... they are. Among straight people, men are expected to be top and women bottom always and anything else is considered "kinky". When TS women date men, they have those same assumptions, which are not bad as long as you realize they're mutable, whatever you're into is all good. I'm just saying what I'm into.

No problem, tgirlzoe. We all have our preferences and I'm not going to presume to tell anyone what they should or should not like.

I for one would not mind being dominated at least occasionally by a hot woman whom I love (genetic or otherwise). At least as long as I get a shot back at her.

[62des]

Well this thread just opened up my eyes more. Based on all the tranny porn, it would seem that trannies would prefer to do the fucking when in reality, its the opposite with a few exceptions. This makes me happy. lol I always looked at it as the one with the tits and beautiful ass should get fucked and not the man. But to each his own to the bottoms. I get a feel of power when I have sex and for me I wouldn't get the same feeling if bottomed I could imagine.

[a994]

A couple of TG friends of mine put it this way: when they first came to this country, they were shocked and even repulsed by guys wanting to be bottom. They had never been top, and had no interest in it. But working as escorts, they decided it was good to service the client. In the process, they both discovered that they quite enjoy being top, physically. They are still women and prefer the woman's role (as it were), but also derive pleasure from reversing the roles.

That's the kind of woman I want (genetic or otherwise) to be with: one who is open-minded about sexual enjoyment and willing to experiment, even if I decide I do not want to be topped after all.

Going out on a limb a bit here, but regarding transwomen and conventional gender roles, I daresay that in some ways transwomen are more conventional than natal women. What I mean is, transwomen who fully identify as women and who go through all sorts of struggles in their lives to achieve their goal (however self-defined) to be women, hold more tightly to conventional female roles in some ways than natal women do, and perhaps this is one of them.

Possibly because they feel that they must do so in order to truly feel feminine, or because they feel a lingering amount of insecurity within themselves because of their physical gender at birth. Possibly because they feel they must do so in order to "pass."

And again, some ladies do and some don't, just the same as some genetic ladies do not like receiving oral sex, ever playing a dominant role with their men, etc.

[pittsburghadmirer]

I have been with 3 TGs, and I have dated all three. I guess I was in a serious relationship (albeit kinda short) with two of them. In all three cases, each of us were versatile when it came to sex. One liked to top more, one TG liked to bottom more, and the other really seemed into both.

[tg4me]

Two things.
Top/bottom is still widely used in the Fetish Community. I have 25+ years of knowledge there.

In the last four years or so, Doms with strap-ons have become the rage. A % of those guys are going to go one step further. It's not about the TG really, it's about a hot girl with a real strap-on. That's not meant to insult anyone, but to suggest that many switches/bottoms are looking for tg doms as the fantasy. It's the same as saying guys like to watch lesbo sex. Wrong! Guys like to watch hot girls having sex.
Whats become apparent to me is that most TG's want to be girls. They prefer the role as a sub/bottom. So far only one has even suggested that their fantasies are centered around seducing then fucking some guy as the ultimate power play.
My first attraction to Tg's was Foxy Angel. My first TG was with Kate from florida. They both like to drill guys silly and are not only tops..they are stong Dom tops. That's why I assumed most TG's were tops. That's what I thought "hung Angels" meant. That's what's in their heads. I'm a woman to all those that see me on the street. I'll seduce you with my fem charm and beauty. Behind closed doors I'm a woman that changes into a fucking Dominatrix ready to rock your world.
Further proof that TG's want to be girls not Doms? Almost all of you picked dance music as your fave videos. That says it all!!

[KiraHarden]

Further proof that TG's want to be girls not Doms? Almost all of you picked dance music as your fave videos. That says it all!!

I havent watched videos in yrs. Im not dom and I really dont care for dance music. Rock is my first choice