The porno thread

[LG]

Now don't get me wrong- I have nothing against porn. I watch porn. On occasion, I even jerk off to porn. Porn is good- it feeds people's fantasies and brings in money to the girls that need it to improve their lives. As long as it's legal, there's nothing wrong with porn.

But it's getting tired. Film-makers have run out of ideas. Not only do porn movies have no storylines that make sense (apart from: boy meets girl, girl has a cock, boy and girl have sex, repeat until fade), but we're getting "Tranny Whackers 4", "Khathoey 3" and "Transexual Prostitutes 45". Sure the girl on the box looks gorgeous, but number 45? Can't they come up with another title?

Maybe not. One of the latest attempts for a new concept is "Transsexual Dog Walker". I saw it right there in the top left-hand corner of this forum.
Huh? How the fuck is that supposed to be sexy? For one thing, it does sound like it could be pretty gross.

Upon clicking on it, one reads:

"Fido gets a big treat, and I do mean BIG, as super hung transsexuals pursue new career options as professional dog walkers. Ultra feminine trannys with great big she-cocks tease and please their clients and might even actually walk the dog in this all hardcore transsexual extravaganza guaranteed to satisfy the TS lover in all of us!!!"

Now I am sure it is not as bad as it sounds, but I do not like the idea of dogs in porn films, whether they are simply barking incessantly (why does this seem to happen in all the outdoor scenes in Brazilian DVDs?) or are actually onscreen. I'm sure it's actually a decent video, if the model on the cover (not the dog, stupid, the girl) is anything to go by.

But can't they come up with anything better?

I suppose not, judging by these excerpts from story lines (all true and found in the HA store):

"Give them a T-Bone and they will treat it like it was a filet mignon."

What?? They'll cut up your dick with a knife and eat it?

"Nacho's camera goes where few dare: the lair of the well-hung Brazilian she-male. This transsexual masturbation footage was secured at great personal risk and is presented for instructional purposes only."

I suppose he should put a sign up: Warning- Transsexuals may bite

"These prom queens have something else under their gowns besides their thong. It's their schwong."

Their schwong? What is this? Grade school? What's next? "These girls may not be from Germany, but you should see their bockwurst!"? "These honeys are sweet as sugar, but they pack some hard rock candy."? "When these babes lift their skirts inside a bank, your assets will freeze- watch them make a deposit inside some hard studs"?

But I guess however hard I try to make storylines like these, I won't beat this last one from a Buck Angel DVD (and I'm not making this up):

"Buckback Mountain: The forbidden sex story between two tough cowboys and their hidden secret: one of them has a pussy...and he just can't keep it to himself."

Oh, brother.

[XPBMX]

Nope don't care it is just porn. I believe people who watch porn for plots need help!!!! LOL

[Balcanoid]

On the other hand, I dislike meaningless porns..
A guy step into the room, take out a boner do some lickin` and the rest of is kickin`...Everything happens in a small studio boxes under strong (bad) lighting or half-shadow
enviroment, naked fuck...I don`t like it...I remember much better scenes of the `80`s or early `90`s production when it was maked for the big screens...TV/cable destroy it all.

[Fox]

Nope don't care it is just porn. I believe people who watch porn for plots need help!!!! LOL

Or they want to indulge in a fantasy that doesn't arbitrarily come out of nowhere as far as plot is concerned.

I thought budget may have been a crippling factor, but I've been told numerous times that foreign porn films (European) have much better plots/acting/directing and they don't have any more funds that we do across the pond. But I haven't seen any so I can't vouche for that. I don't think it's the "actors," so maybe the producers/directors?

Maybe there are unknowns we haven't considered? Or maybe not. Maybe someone like seanchai can shed some light.

EDIT: Maybe consumers just don't care enough about plot/directing to speak out, so continues the status-quo.

[Jericho]

C'mon, have you seen the 'acting' acting in a porn film?
Isn't there enough "wood" already?

[Kriss]

One of the latest attempts for a new concept is "Transsexual Dog Walker". I saw it right there in the top left-hand corner of this forum.
Huh? How the fuck is that supposed to be sexy?

it just beggars belief. what the fuck were they on?

[specialk]

Is Jack Horner still making films?

[DavidLynch]

The overwhelming majority of porn stars are crappy actors. Fuck plots in porn.

[skyler]

it's just porn too me! but i did like that pirates movie
it had a plot sumwhat

[biguy4tvtscd]

"Give them a T-Bone and they will treat it like it was a filet mignon."

I certainly hope so, considering it's the same fucking thing.




As for me, just give me the porn. Anytime someone tries to add plot to a pron film, it just makes life uncomfortable for everyone involved.