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06-21-2019 #1
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- Dec 2008
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- 36
Seeking helpful advice - first date!!
Hi all, as title suggests -
I'm going on a date with a trans women I met online tomorrow. This will be my FIRST date with a trans women, and I'm feeling very nervous.
We're going for drinks.... And I'm hoping it leads to more afterwards.
If anyone can give me some advice to a newbie it would be so greatly appreciated. Things I'm generally conscious of are the DOS and DO NOTS, what sort of questions are inappropriate, how might a trans women feel about going on a date with a straight inexperienced guy, etc.
And just in case we end up in the bedroom - I need a WHOLE load of advice!
Thanks in advance!!
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06-21-2019 #2
Re: Seeking helpful advice - first date!!
Treat her like any other woman and don't expect sex after a first date.
5 out of 5 members liked this post.
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06-21-2019 #3
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- Dec 2008
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- 36
Re: Seeking helpful advice - first date!!
Thanks for the response Laphroaig.
Both should go without saying!
2 out of 2 members liked this post.
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06-21-2019 #4
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06-21-2019 #5
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
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- 36
Re: Seeking helpful advice - first date!!
Thanks Riker.
I guess it's more the gritty details. From a trans women's perspective; what are the typical things inexperienced guys do or say on a date that are frustrating, annoying, or maybe even offensive that you wish they wouldn't.
And in the bedroom - although I don't expect to go that far - what are vital bits of advice you can give a newbie straight guy? What info/advice would you have appreciated if you where in my shoes...
1 out of 1 members liked this post.
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06-22-2019 #6
Re: Seeking helpful advice - first date!!
Not too helpful, I know, but "woman" is singular and "women" is plural.
But I figure you're already out on your date by now, anyway.
"We can't seem to cure them of the idea that our everyday life is only an illusion, behind which lies the reality of dreams."--Old Missionary, Fitzcarraldo
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06-22-2019 #7
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- Sep 2008
- Location
- Rahway, New Jersey
- Posts
- 67
Re: Seeking helpful advice - first date!!
What site did you meet her on? Any good?
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06-22-2019 #8
- Join Date
- Dec 2017
- Location
- Baghdad by the Bay
- Posts
- 193
Re: Seeking helpful advice - first date!!
Here's are some things you should not bring up and/or ask about first . . .
1) her dead name (i.e., the name she was given at birth)
2) her operative status
3) how long ago she transitioned
4) her sexual role (i.e., bottom, verse, top)
Here are some words and things not to say . . .
1) "tranny," "shemale," "ladyboy," "newhalf," "t-girl" "travesti"
2) "best of both worlds"
3) "you know what men want since you were one"
4) "real women" or "regular women"
1) communicate: if things get physical, straight up ask what she is/is not comfortable with. is point, you can probably use terms like "bottom," "verse," or "top." But be aware that some transwomen hate using those descriptors because the more or less come from gay male vernacular. Also, if you're not experienced with transwomen, also say that; assuming anal sex is involved, novices - whether they're the top or the bottom - require special care.
2) Be aware that some, but by no means all, transwomen have a tenancy to sleep with men sooner than ciswomen generally do. This is because some transwomen (sub)consciously seek validation of their femininity from men or feel that if they don't put out a guy won't like them. The stereotypical trannychaser, on some level, knows about this phenomenon and take advantage; don't be that guy!
3 out of 3 members liked this post.
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06-22-2019 #9
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- Dec 2008
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- 36
Re: Seeking helpful advice - first date!!
Ha, all help is welcome.... Even grammatical!
1 out of 1 members liked this post.
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06-22-2019 #10
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- Dec 2008
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- 36
Re: Seeking helpful advice - first date!!
Thanks you for the pointers, they re-enforce some things I thought were correct behaviour.
Great advice. I didn't appreciate that certain terminology comes from gay male vernacular - and I can see how they could be offensive!
I wasn't aware that some transwomen feel that way. I'll definitely bear that in mind, the last thing I want is to become a guy to take advantage!
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