anti depressants

[Chuck]

I usually would try to think up something real stupid to say, but the truth is I feel your pain.

I am 39, never been on antidepressants, but I think I need to look into it.

I am clinically depressed and I know it. I am scared to go on meds for it because they just don't seem to work. I would rather, at the moment, deal with my depression without drugs, but that may change soon.

It's not all mental like many think. It is your body telling you it needs something that it is not getting. I get tired / sleepy whenever I am in meetings or classes (I'm a teacher). I just can't stay awake nor do I have that "joi de vie". If I have 2 good days a month, where I am happy to be alive, I'm lucky. The few times I enjoy life I am either drinking or under the influence of E which I do very seldomly ( twice a year at the most). I don't advocate the use of E but it makes me feel so good, even days after it has worn off. I don't get the E hangover that I have heard so much about.

Depression is real. I used to pass judegement on people for being depressed. I thought it was a sign of weakness. I guess that's what I get for being judgemental.

[Alison Faraday]

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[Jennifer_English]

once my partner and parents are gone it will be the first thing I do.

you really that unhappy Alison ?

I too was on antidepressants for 8 years... SSRI (Prozac) and finally gave them up about 8 weeks ago....

For the time I was on them they definately helped me slowley sort my life out....

I feel for anyone with depression... it sucks...

[signupjustforthis]

i stopped all my anti-depressants after i had estrogen.

I am still depressed sometimes, and I still feel like shit about myself sometimes. I think my depression has to do with my transgender identity. If I was born a girl, I don't think i would be clinically depressed.

Right now, I am still high on the fact that I began hormones so I don't know if I would go back to being depressed after the hype is gone.

[Alison Faraday]

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[Kabuki]

No criticism of anyone here. ((hugs))

Right now.. Give me a bottle of pills, no pain, and I'll take them. Struggling on, being criticised, having up their arse tss turn their noses up at me. I don't fit in, with no job, a degree that's next to useless, just a slave to the perversions of the world. Is that the sum of my existance?

So. No criticism of anyone. Recognition given to Chuck, I too have never tried anti-depressants. Much preferring to 'be strong' and do something about it. Like it gets you anywhere. You kind of get slowly worn down after a few years. I have weighed up the pros and cons of suicide, and once my partner and parents are gone it will be the first thing I do. They are the only reason I'm still here. I haven't discussed this with anyone or them, but I spend most of my days unhappy and feeling that I've achieved nothing in my life.

What I'm saying here isn't irrational but is a natural conclusion to life's events. I hate myself and constantly feel not good enough or wanted.

So there's some truths to be ignored and dismissed. The thing is that I know that some of you understand. You can't do anything. Only I can. But what if I'm tired of being level headed and smiley for everyone? While so alone and lost inside. The feeling of depression slowly gnaws away at you, chipping away at your childhood freedom bit by bit.

What do we do? Is it our fault? Is it someone else's fault? Are we really ill in our minds? Will I ever be happy? Will I ever fit in? Will I ever be popular? Where did I go wrong? Why why why?

These are all questions that we ask yet rarely reveal or know the answers to. This post is unlikely to receive any recognition or understanding. I expect nothing. I look forward to nothing. I have no dreams or hopes. All eroded away and worn away. A miserable lonely person with so many people around me.

The real irony, and as all of you know; when you ask for help, or through some confused cry for help, it does not come. So what do we do? We pretend that it's all ok.

I can certainly relate to your pain Alison. Each day, I battle my own demons. I try to cope with a situation that I couldn't control or predict.

I definitely think you should read Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. I think it would teach you how to cope with a number of issues. I would recommend the book to everyone. I found myself jotting down a lot of passages from the book. It was a valuable tool for changing my way of thinking. That book and some Buddhist philosophy.

[apocarm]

Never tried an anti-depressant, I have several friends that do and it's cool with me. The only drugs I take ever are caffiene in the form of a diet pepsi. I have the opposite thing going with me here, I don't enjoy doctors at all. I don't like getting checked out, visit the eye-doctor, or anything. I'm not afraid I'm just stubborn and I generally think I can handle anything myself. Guess thats a different problem here.

[wendy48088]

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[TJT]

The mid/late 30's are when that SOB called the mid-life crisis can nail you. It doesn't just manifest itself in buying a bad toupe and sports car? Depression can be a major component,it was for me. A few months of Zoloft helped me get through the first one. The second round w/ the mid-life crisis isn't as bad. You know what the hell it is. It doesn't sneak up and kick you in the ass.

(BTW,I went with a ponytail and a Harley in my first MLC.)

If you have the bipolar version of depression,stay away from the weed,speed,and psychedelics. They may help at first,but they'll eventually land your ass in the hospital,jail,or the morgue.

I come from a long line of looneys of the bipolar variety,adding recreational drugs to that disorder is throwing gasoline on a fire. I've got a sister who makes Courtney Love seems like Mother Theresa. Cocaine fueled bipolar disorder. I'm suprised she made it through her 30's?

[atkms7]

yeah, benzos are fun every now and then, valium is hella chill, but can also be a devil in disguise.