Does online dating make you depressed?

[wearboots4me]

When I first became single again a while ago, I spent a lot of time focusing on myself and making myself happy. When I did that, I found I had a lot more luck in both online and general dating because I knew what I could offer other people. This may sound counter-intuitive, but maybe take some time off from trying to date, work on yourself as a person, find some things that make you happy, focus on them, and then you'll be able to know what you can offer other people.

That sounds like good advice, and so does Dahlia's advice about the sewing class. Both positive actions to take rather than sitting around thinking about how there's no one out there.
To the OP, some of the things you write make you seem like you're looking for an ideal. Maybe if you go on a first date with someone outside that ideal, you will discover she is actually interesting. And if she's not, you don't have to marry her, it was just a date.
And I don't know if you want to hear it or not, but the advice someone gave about about seeing an escort is good, in my opinion. You say you don't have a girlfriend, so you're not cheating on anyone. Sexual frustration is probably one of the things that's eating at you. If you see one who shows you a good time, you won't care as much about whether you find Ms. Right or not. And that will put you in a better mental place when she comes along.

[AshlynCreamher]

Just act dumb! Women get tired of a guy acting like he knows everything.

This has to be the worse dating advise I have ever seen. I couldn't imagine myself going on a date with a complete fucking idiot. I would rather spend my time in a stimulating conversation with someone confident in his own abilities.

[Ts RedVeX]

The pool is bad because you lot prefer to sit in front of your computers wasting time on getting depressed about things rather than using the time to do something to make a change for the better. Having a nice virtual on-line image of yourself won't help to the extent you expect it to in the "real" dimmension - it works only in the "virtual", or imaginary one in your heads. If you want to date a virtual image of another person, have cybersex with them, lead a virtual on-line life in the latest MMORPG - do it, but I can't see why you expect it to change the your whole life for the better. You won't escape real life with the technology commonly available today, or tomorrow. So, if this makes you unhappy, why do you still do it? Is it out of lazyness? At what cost? Why do you still believe in on line dating, if it hasn't worked out? There is so much more to what you can see, hear, smell, sense in other ways through the computer screen about another person in reality...

[Jamie French]

Yup. I've had to tell just about every dude I know some form of this exact advice.

You have to do things for yourself, figure you out, get your shit together, for you.
Men and women will sense the strength and the confidence you've gained by just making an effort to become a more solid and well round human being.

Where people fuck up is when they try to do things with the express intention of getting laid or trying to win favor with their object of desire. And I do mean object. When you're still a malformed, shitty person other people rarely amount to much more than objects whether you cop to it or not.

I've found online dating to be kind of depressing because everyone else is like you and I. We all want something, but we don't know what. This was mentioned on the first page, but you need to know what you offer someone else. When I first became single again a while ago, I spent a lot of time focusing on myself and making myself happy. When I did that, I found I had a lot more luck in both online and general dating because I knew what I could offer other people. This may sound counter-intuitive, but maybe take some time off from trying to date, work on yourself as a person, find some things that make you happy, focus on them, and then you'll be able to know what you can offer other people.

That's the best advice I can give, but take it for what it's worth... I'm still single too

[Ts RedVeX]

I think most people know what they want but they are for some reason unwilling to tell it to others.

[crystalsopen]

I am an escort and I have no stake in this.

I simply meant I don't financially benefit from people hiring escorts or not.

[crystalsopen]

"You have to do things for yourself, figure you out, get your shit together, for you." Is awesome advice people who are not where they want to be in life.

Yup. I've had to tell just about every dude I know some form of this exact advice.

You have to do things for yourself, figure you out, get your shit together, for you.
Men and women will sense the strength and the confidence you've gained by just making an effort to become a more solid and well round human being.

Where people fuck up is when they try to do things with the express intention of getting laid or trying to win favor with their object of desire. And I do mean object. When you're still a malformed, shitty person other people rarely amount to much more than objects whether you cop to it or not.

[Jamie French]

You can't find happiness in someone else, (which isn't a fair burden to place on another person anyhow) You have to be happy with yourself first. Sadness has it's own kind of stink that will totally keep people you're interested in at bay.

[SXFX]

Thank you all for the advice.
I actually was spending too much time on online dating application...but what is there to do when you are in your third meeting of the day and nothing in this meeting pertains to you....so you get the phone open get the app up and look around?
Today was my first day with no app...so i like all people sat in the meeting and played candy crush and angry birds while some engineer with major adenoid issues talked about something no one cared about.

That said i'll be honest...i have no idea what i provide anyone? But it's not that i'm useless? I just don't think i'm that special. Have a good paying job that pays me enough to own my own home and own a nice German car....but i earned it...i worked for it i'm not special...the same with the adventure sports...they are nothing special...i wanted them i worked hard and got them. I invested time and energy. The same for my education...wanted an MBA to be a better manager.....so i invested time and energy and a good bit of cash and well now i have an MBA. As for around the house...i cook i clean i keep my place looking nice.....

But in my eyes....i don't see that as being anything special...i came to this country with nothing when i was 7 and well i just did what needed to be done and well i got to where i needed to go?

I was just not expecting divorce to be a part of the major plan....and then the loss of so many friends...WOW!

So i guess that's the double whammy?
Loss of friends and then looking around and noticing...woooh the dating pool is FUGLY!
No one is going to the gym, no one is eating right, no one is dressing up not even for their online dating photo and OMG why doesn't anyone use sunscreen!

But it's cool....no more online dating for me....from now on...just focus on work...gym...hobbies and......treat dating like i treated my MBA...just go to the bar once a week....sit there enjoy a nice drink and smile? And when work calms down...I'm really going to do that sowing class....

Attached is my photo....i'm assuming many thought i was an out of shape slob...i just got home from the gym...and after my shower thought....eh why not...show off a little?

[SXFX]

And everyone thank you! i greatly appreciate it!
And Ms. Jamie French than you for the advice but...well.....I'm not cheap...i would rather use my money to travel more and try out new sports. Not that i'm saying prostitution is wrong, but for me it just doesn't work out. however thank you! I greatly appreciated your advice.