Have you ever felt conflicted about your sexuality?

[SheWantsTheD]

The poll is private.

We come from many different walks of life. We are all at various stages in our lives. One similarity that we all share is that we are all here together on Hung Angels from the timid chasers to the celebrity pornstars.

You've all seen the threads; is this gay, is that? Does it matter? Who cares?
You always see the defensive ones, the offensive ones and those who are non-chalant and beyond the BS.
You see those who have been there, done that, got the T-Shirt. Those who have lived it, are still living it and even have their own T-Shirt business...


As for me, I was conflicted for years while watching the porn.
Then I became even more conflicted when I actually started meeting tgirls.
The reasons for my conflictions were based on religion and I also felt I was degrading myself by participating in casual sex. But at work I was okay to identify as bi and proclaim myself a part of the LGBT community.
I plan to go for a Masters in Sociology and I am interested in the welbeing and psychology of the brilliant people who make up the trans world.

One confliction that I still have is in regards to the future. I want kids of my own but I want a tgirl. I fear I cannot do both.
So what about you guys?

I have a few questions for you, feel free to answer whichever ones you want or to add your own. Or even ask me some questions if you like for discussion.

• Have you ever been conflicted in your own sexual feelings and desires?
• Are you conflicted right now?
• How long were you conflicted for?
• How did you deal with it?
• Have you never been conflicted?
• Has your sexuality changed?
• Can you identify the moment when your sexuality changed?
• Did you go through a transitional period of adjustment or was it as easy as flicking a switch?

[Prospero]

Not in the least

[Jericho]

Have you ever been conflicted in your own sexual feelings and desires?

When i was in my teens, yeah.
I'm suspicious of anyone who says they've never had a shade of doubt about their sexuality.

Are you conflicted right now?

Not in the slightest, I know what I want and whom I'm attracted to.

How long were you conflicted for?
How did you deal with it?

I dunno, for a couple of years i suppose (it was a long time ago)!
Got to a point where i thought, "Fuck it, try it, see what it does for you".
And here we are.

[Prospero]

Hey Jericho... so you're suspicous of me... when i said i never felt conflicted i mean that i have always been prepared to explore and discover. As a teenager the only conflict was not getting enough. I have tried all manner of legal things - with men, with TS, with TV, with groups, with GGs... S & M etc etc... never felt any conflict... just discovered what I like and what turns me off. (Men turn me off - most else I enjoy to a greater or lesser extent though S&M is a very occasional itch and to enjoyed in a very light form) TS and GG's are the best.

[broncofan]

Prospero, it's just tough to believe you never felt pressure to conform. I know that other people can be very judgmental, whether it's family, friends, or society. I also have also always been a little bit suspicious when people say they "don't care what other people think".

But there are all types. If you've never felt any apprehension or conflict, that's a good thing for you obviously, and I'm happy to hear it.

[dabaldone]

As a whole, we have been socially conditioned to be "hetero normative" in our thhoghtsvand actions. Trans-women sit outside that narrow view of sexuality and gender. Adding religion and social norms to the mix, most if not all trans-attracted men have been conflicted at some point. It's rare that a man comes to grip when dealing with trans-women.

I went thru it for a number of years. This was before the popularity of the internet and social media. This was before we had forums and information at our fingertips. I just got tired of living a duality, sneaking around like a theif and worrying if someone found out. So, for the last 15 or so years I have been in open relationships with trans women. I no longer worried about what or how people think of me. Living your own truth is empowering.

[Prospero]

Hmm... pressure to conform. I have, obviously, been careful at times in my life. I used to have a lot of girlfriends at the same time and that was tricky. But not conflicted. I DO care what people think... but only people who matter.I am perfectly happy to date TS girls in public - even those who re not that "convincing" if they are good people. What they feel matters more than what random strangers think. My parents are both long gone so there is no stealth issues there.

[Jericho]

Hey Jericho... so you're suspicous of me... when i said i never felt conflicted i mean that i have always been prepared to explore and discover. As a teenager the only conflict was not getting enough. I have tried all manner of legal things - with men, with TS, with TV, with groups, with GGs... S & M etc etc... never felt any conflict... just discovered what I like and what turns me off. (Men turn me off - most else I enjoy to a greater or lesser extent though S&M is a very occasional itch and to enjoyed in a very light form) TS and GG's are the best.

Oh tuck in and pull yer zip back up, you tart!
If we weren't prepared to explore, we wouldn't be here, would we?
I'm not talking about that.

Beyond your willingness to explore, are you telling me you've never had doubts about your sexuality?
If you say 'no' , I'll believe it, but i find that, i dunno, strange.

[Prospero]

Well I am not sure what you mean by "doubts". As a teenager and in my twenties i was full steam ahead hetereosexual. But I then discovered other feelings. Didn't make me feel conficted, just intrigued - and so i started to explore. Tried bondage etc first with a GG dominatrix and, as i said before, the light version is all I am interested in (Was with a heavy duty mistress onetime who had a dungeon and a rack. It scared the hell out of me). But honestly it was all exploration. So the first TS dick was great. loved it. The first (of only two male) encounters was a turn off - though with a very feminine Chinese gay. So I tried one more time. This time with a big dicked black guy. I realised no way... but i was not disgusted, just not in the least turned on. Male smell had a fair bit to do with it - but also the whole male presence. And since then - no conflict (except with my bank manager) over my sexual behaviour.

[Instrumental]

No, my sexual interests have developed over time primarily garnering interest in new aspects. My mentality has always just been enjoying what I like and apathy toward whatever label that might make me.