but trans woman aren't fetishized....its all in our head right?

[dderek123]

Online dating is mostly for one night stands for any race or gender in my personal experience. I've met a few couples who were successful through online dating sites but they were the exception not the rule.

Jamie's advice was spot on. You're beautiful amber I think you'll meet someone eventually.

How's school going?

[amberskyi]

Online dating is mostly for one night stands of knowing what for any race or gender in my personal experience. I've met a few couples who were successful through online dating sites but they were the exception not the rule.

Jamie's advice was spot on. You're beautiful amber I think you'll meet someone eventually.

How's school going?

I've met two of my three boyfriends online. I think it's just a matter of knowing what your looking for and not settling.
school is good, thanks for asking. I'm on a leave of absence until may . Allot of time to kill now lol

[Jamie French]

Wait... what? Not disclosing your gender, (if it's been altered or is in a state of flux) is the worst possible thing you could do to a stranger who might be a attracted to you if you in turn have a similar interest towards them you intend to act on.

What do you expect to gain other than disappointment, stress and a sour outlook on life if you hide things like this from people?

You weren't born a woman, you were born a man that had to transition. That alone is a solid thing to be. It's real, it exists and you aren't alone. You get to own that and by lying about it through omission you are disrespecting every party involved in whatever social interaction you play a part in.

Does the lady behind the register at Walmart need to know all about your gender? No more than you need to know her blood type, but a potential mate deserves nothing less than to know, upfront and in no uncertain terms.

I agree that looking for a relationship is an exercise in futility. They develop on their own. What i meant by "something real" is a situation in which two people genuinely want to get to know each other outside of a sexual context.
Im not new to online dating and am quite savvy in navigating the pitfalls.i think for ts woman online dating takes away the stress of having to disclose ones gender to a person she might be interested in.
I just posted this conversation because some claim that the extreme sexualization we experience is either fictional or brought on ourselves.

[amberskyi]

Wait... what? Not disclosing your gender, (if it's been altered or is in a state of flux) is the worst possible thing you could do to a stranger who might be a attracted to you if you in turn have a similar interest towards them you intend to act on.

What do you expect to gain other than disappointment, stress and a sour outlook on life if you hide things like this from people?

You weren't born a woman, you were born a man that had to transition. That alone is a solid thing to be. It's real, it exists and you aren't alone. You get to own that and by lying about it through omission you are disrespecting every party involved in whatever social interaction you play a part in.

Does the lady behind the register at Walmart need to know all about your gender? No more than you need to know her blood type, but a potential mate deserves nothing less than to know, upfront and in no uncertain terms.

I never said anything about hiding my birth gender hun. Wrong soap box lol.
I personally find it awkward to disclose my gender to a guy because I'm a shy and private person.
What I like about edating is that my gender history is known from jump.

[Prospero]

The trick is to not be looking at all... proactively "looking for something real" is really, really close to turning the idea of a relationship into a sort of fetish itself. No, your best bet is to stop looking all together, especially online and put yourself in positions where you are actively pursuing legitimate interests. The kind of people you were looking for will just sort of moosh into your life without you having to do a thing. That's how this kind of thing actually works in the real world. You can't go get it, you have to let it be and give it opportunities to come to you which means, NO sitting around. Go do anything. (trust me, I've always had a long term somebody in my life, precisely because I do a LOT of things out in the world.)

Wise words from Jamie.


But in defence of on-line dating I would say that i have three sets of very good friends who met this way and have formed solid long term relationshios that appear to be stable.

But then again they are conventional hetereosexual couples. I think Amber is right that disclosure of your gender identity as a TS in a dating forum will inevitably attract a lot of fetishists. Jamie's advice is pretty sound.

[Jamie French]

Non disclosure could end in death.

[B]
I think Amber is right that disclosure of your gender identity as a TS in a dating forum will inevitably attract a lot of fetishists. Jamie's advice is pretty sound.