a sincere question for the ladies...

[nyctraveler]

and any guys with advice-
I was wondering if their is a tactful, respectful way to ask a tg if she is fully functional when you first meet. It may be an off question but Im heading to one of the parties and don't know how to approach the subject. It's an awkward question to ask, but it helps to know, and its not exactly like asking "what's your sign?" (not that i do that!) I met a couple of girls back in the day and it was always a mystery till you're all alone. Some are very advanced in their transformation and some are not; sometimes its the hormones, and, of course, sometimes two people just don't click. I figure it's an awkward question on both sides, no? Well that's why i'm reaching out to see if anyone has any wisdom to share.
thanks!

[suckseed]

FWIW, I think that asking that question on a first meeting is going to get every possible response, some truthful, some not. If things were progressing well, hopefully you could cop a feel. Nobody likes to feel pressured to perform sexually. If she's functional and turned on, you'll know. If she's not, I'd try to be understanding about it, and maybe make the evening about what she wants. Which could be anything from lots of foreplay, to bottoming for you, to watching a movie ad eating ice cream.

[BeardedOne]

Your mileage may vary.

What a great phrase. And so useful.

My range of topics, on the rare occasion that I am speaking face-to-face with someone, can vary quite a bit and tends to lean in one direction or another based on the comfort levels developed while we chat. With some, I'll be wary of asking if they are a vegetarian or not, whether they smoke, etc. With others, I'll get right down to basics like "Really?!? Exactly how big =is= it? Can I see it?".

In recent years (Not sure what the trigger moment was) I've found that I shifted rather heavily from too-polite milktoast to overly-agressive gadabout and seem to be more direct in my approach. Though I don't actually see myself asking such a question before the clothing is shed, I don't see any problem with being fairly direct about it, especially if the runway lights are already blinking the path to the bedroom when the question (And whatever else) arises.

[flabbybody]

no. ... there's no way to respectfully ask a tgirl if she's functional. you might as well just say to her "you're nothing more than a sexual fetish to me, I want to see you get hard cause I'm basically gay and can't bear to be with a guy yet, but I'm headed (no pun intended) in that direction very shortly"

yes, I'm joking.
please don't start the 'am I gay thread'.
but if you ever ask a girl if she's functional, you're a total loser.

[d]

no. ... there's no way to respectfully ask a tgirl if she's functional. you might as well just say to her "you're nothing more than a sexual fetish to me, I want to see you get hard cause I'm basically gay and can't bear to be with a guy yet, but I'm headed (no pun intended) in that direction very shortly"

yes, I'm joking.
please don't start the 'am I gay thread'.
but if you ever ask a girl if she's functional, you're a total loser.

....excellent post man....

[AllanahStarrNYC]

what would i do if someone asked me that in person at a bar, party, on social setting?

give them a dirty look, politely excuse myself, and walk away and think what a loser.

i was once at one of my parties having a perfectly normal conversation with a guy who i had met 10 minutes prior, and then all of a sudden he asked me to give him a french kiss. i politely declined- and he got mad. he said 'well you do porn films and you won't give me a kiss?

so i gave him a dirty look, excused myself, walked away, and told my friends what a loser he was.

only you can prvent forest fires, only YOU

[cheribaum]

I LOVE YOU ALLANAH, KEEPING IT REAL!!!!

[BSMike]

This isn't a flame, I just find the question outrageous. I'm currently enamoured with a girl that I met while temping last year. I knew her for about four months before I was certain she was trans. I have no idea if she's on hormones, pre-op or post-op. I don't really care, she's cute as hell. I'm just trying to get a freaking date with her. The last thing I think I'd do is ask "So, do you still have your dick, and does it still get hard?"

[PapiQueRico]

I would never ask this question. Something funny did happen one day. I used to go to the peep shows where you would jack off in the booth - its a habit I formed at 14 years old LOL. Showworld had a stage with just TS. I was doing my normal thing rubbing her breast jackin. Next thing I know she started jackin too. To my surprise she busted a nutt as I was rubbing her breats and we were both jackin. Before that I never thought about the functioning issue. It was the first time it actually was presented to me LOL. It was funny cause she went in the back to clean herself up and the other gals were teasing her because they said she came like a guy. She was fine ... damn I miss those days LOL

[nyctraveler]

FWIW, I think that asking that question on a first meeting is going to get every possible response, some truthful, some not. If things were progressing well, hopefully you could cop a feel. Nobody likes to feel pressured to perform sexually. If she's functional and turned on, you'll know. If she's not, I'd try to be understanding about it, and maybe make the evening about what she wants. Which could be anything from lots of foreplay, to bottoming for you, to watching a movie ad eating ice cream.

thanks, i appreciate the note, but i don't think im just reaching over and copping a feel; i'm not a gynecolegist.
i have learned this much- it's always about what she wants[/u]