My Little Pony and a young Flammer

[bluesoul]

I don't even know what you could mean by this. Typically humans do not grow up feral.

lol. no. humans, by nature are feral. how they grow up depends on how they're raised.

But even if we can't eliminate bullying altogether, we can't tell children to hide their identities, to be ashamed of who they are, to slink away and conform on the outside, to be untrue to their fundamental natures and die on the inside.

well, what about the bullies then? aren't we telling them to conform by accepting their victims? aren't well telling those who are naturally more aggressive and boisterous to curb their identity and to be untrue to their fundamental nature?

and i have to disagree with you on your literal assessment of lord of the flies although i'm unsure of how to expound on it as you seem to have taken the surface value of the text alone

[SpoogeMonkey]

That's horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope you take some comfort in the knowledge that your stepfather was a very unhappy person and clearly wasted his precious time on earth.

Whereas you are thriving.

At last, someone on here who isn't a fuckwit.

All the problems of the earth are shaped in our childhood. All the hangups. fuckwittery, learning difficulties, etc are formed in those early years. You want to play with a pink shiny toy and you are a boy, some cunt stops you because somewhere they have decided its "gender specific". Kids should just be able to grab stuff and play with it. You make a toy taboo for a boy or girl you cause all sorts of frustrations and issues later in life. Lines are drawn and rules are created. Wear a pink shirt to work and people call you a poof. Wear a pair of trousers men call women a dyke. "oh its just a bit of fun" - NO IT ISNT, it has far reaching implications throughout our society and somewhere we have likely all contributed to it. Look at football (soccer), how many teams have a pink strip? hardly any because men wont buy it because if they do then people will call them queer, and because thats a massive issue for most men because they "wouldnt want to be known as soft or faggoty". as if being gay makes you weak or something else retarded. Thats why theres virtually zero out gay players because people fear the shit cunts like some on here would give them.

Wouldnt it be nice to see boys getting barbies for xmas. Just by saying that I know you are reading this and laughing.. I can hear it. If you are then you are a cunt, a stunted retarded cunt of a being.

cunts..

[trish]

humans, by nature are feral.

No. They aren't. Their genetic makeup instructs them to raise their offspring in social groups. Their children are born neotenous and are genetically wired to be raised.

well, what about the bullies then? aren't we telling them to conform by accepting their victims? aren't well telling those who are naturally more aggressive and boisterous to curb their identity and to be untrue to their fundamental nature?

No. This merely conflates aggressive and boisterous behavior with bullying. The former might be part of a person's fundamental nature. The latter is not.

But let's say, you're right. Still one wants to ask, "Why side with the bully and not the target of their harassment?"

[bluesoul]

He just ignored it, and the kids stopped bugging him. He eventually got some friends, too.

The point is, there's always going to be someone telling you that you suck at something, whether you're Lebron James or a kid wearing the "wrong" backpack. Based on my experience working in schools I can guarantee you two things: 1) Regardless of how you feel about how the school handled this issue, I'm sure this was a last, last, last resort because this has been an ongoing issue that they are tired of dealing with--not a knee jerk reaction from school administration, 2) The media always gets school stories wrong. ALWAYS.

completely agree with you on this subject. another thing is that, if a kid learns how do to deal with these kinds of attacks, they learn one of the most invaluable lessons in the world: making a negative thing positive.

when kids learn to deal with bullies in the way you explained in your example- i see it more likely that their attackers will respect them rather than being forced to accept them by an authority (like teachers or institutions) where they can still harbor malice.

the problem today is that many people want quick solutions so everyone is quick to "discipline the bully" or "ban the bad words" or "blame their parents".

[bluesoul]

No. They aren't. Their genetic makeup instructs them to raise their offspring in social groups. Their children are born neotenous and are genetically wired to be raised.

wrong. children are born feral.

But let's say, you're right. Still one wants to ask, "Why side with the bully and not the target of their harassment?"

because i don't think disciplining the bully/bullies is the way to stop the harassment. in fact, i think bullying is more natural than unnatural.

[Donkey]

Here's Jamie French's take on it:

http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/showthread.php?t=83194

[trish]

Wrong. children are born feral.

You disagree that humans are hardwired to raise their children? You dispute that children are hardwired to learn from their social setting? The definition of a feral animal is one that is domesticated but born in the wild or has been returned to the wild. Humans are not generally born feral. Look it up.

because i don't think disciplining the bully/bullies is the way to stop the harassment. in fact, i think bullying is more natural than unnatural.

I agree, "disciplining" bullies won't help. But that's no reason to side with the bully against their prey. Bullies act to gain the approval of their peers at the expense of another. If you take the time to understand the source of this need for approval one might be able in particular cases interrupt their cycle of behavior.

[thombergeron]

wrong. children are born feral.

I don't think that word means what you think it means. Nothing is born "feral," nor is anything born "domesticated."

If you had been born and left alone in the woods, you would become feral, if you didn't die. But being feral would not make you a bully; it would simply make you unsocialized or undomesticated.

Bullying is a social phenomenon. There are no "natural" bullies. Bullies are made. That's why the overwhelming majority of those exhibiting bullying behavior have themselves been bullied. They learn bullying as a coping mechanism.

And then, when shitheels like mildcigar_2001 tell bullying victims that they shouldn't act so flitty if they don't want to get beat up, the bullies see that their behavior is socially acceptable. Indeed, mildcigar_2001 is telling them that they're right, that they should beat up flitty kids. Flitty kids deserve to get beat up.

So they've been victimized themselves and they've been told that victimizing others is completely acceptable and justified. That's how we make bullies.

Thus, current evidence-based anti-bullying interventions target all children, emphasizing that bullying behavior is unacceptable, full stop. So victims feel empowered to say, This is unacceptable. And bullies themselves do not have their antisocial behavior validated.

It is just interesting to note who tried to bully whom on this thread and who resorted to name calling because they were uncomfortable with other's opinions.

Awwww, you feel bullied because I pointed out your despicable and antisocial attitude? Fuck you, asshole.

[runningdownthatdream]

I hate bullies and have got myself into trouble more than once taking on bullies. I became so aggressive that at times I think i too became a bully......but I digress.

I get the point the OP is making: don't taunt the rabid dog if you don't have to or at the very least taunt it when you have might on your side. Sometimes being in the right makes no difference and I think that parent unnecessarily put her kid at risk. I feel bad for the kid.

I can't believe I'm agreeing with Bluesoul but bullies do have a purpose in society but having said that some of us also have the counter-purpose which is to slap them down.

[trish]

Children are not rabid dogs, not even children who bully. They often have difficulty learning to socialize with their peers, and sometimes need adult help. This is especially so for bullies.

I do agree that bullying has a purpose. It is used by the practitioner to gain peer approval. But it is a purpose that serves only the practitioner while victimizing his target and degrading those who laugh and lend their approval.