First Experience.... Guilt ?

[ronnyron23]

I'm 21 years old and have been with the love of my life for 2 years now. Ever since I was maybe 16 I have been totally infatuated with TS women, and it almost became an addiction of mine (don't mean to offend anyone).

So eventually the other day it eventually got to me and I decided it was time to act on my fantasy of performing oral sex on a TS woman. I couldn't fight it anymore. I totally disregarded my gf and went through with it.

My only intention was to give head to this TS woman I had met. She was clean. So after maybe 20-25 secs I realized this is totally not for me. I quit immediately and left.

So now 5 days later, I've came to the conclusion that my fantasy isn't what it seemed, and my TS "addiction" has come to an end, it's out of my system. The problem is that I have a good amount of guilt inside me for cheating on my GF.

Should I feel terrible for cheating ? Or should I be grateful that now it is out of my system and my "experimenting" led to me not having this addiction anymore ? Help Please lol

[breakingbad14]

Well it depends how you look at it, anything can be good or bad if you make it good or bad in your mind.

The way I see it, you needed to know, and now you do, it doesn't sound like it'll happen again, and now you can love your gf without wondering what if. So really you've done yourself, and her, a favour.

If you tell her there's a chance she won't understand, a good chance, and that she'll dump you, thinking that she can't give you what you really want, in her mind. She might not, it depends on the girl, but is it a chance you want to take? That's up to you. Good luck anyway. Remember nothing's ever perfect, you just have to make the best of what you've got.

[saifan]

Yeah, you should feel terrible for acting outside of the parameters of your relationship. Glad you "got it out of your system" and saw that it wasn't for you but this guilt will claw away at you over time.

Transsexual or GG doesn't matter if you decide to confess. It's a betrayal of your partner's trust more than anything else.

Good luck.

[nysprod]

Yeah, you should feel terrible for acting outside of the parameters of your relationship. Glad you "got it out of your system" and saw that it wasn't for you but this guilt will claw away at you over time.

Transsexual or GG doesn't matter if you decide to confess. It's a betrayal of your partner's trust more than anything else.

Good luck.

Absolutely not...if you had a one time experiment that didn't work for you, and you have no intentions of repeating, don't feel terrible and definitely say nothing.

Different situation entirely if you were planning to live a double life but in this situation, just go on as you were and forget about it.

[ronnyron23]

Absolutely not...if you had a one time experiment that didn't work for you, and you have no intentions of repeating, definitely say nothing.

Different situation entirely if you were planning to live a double life but in this situation, just go on as you were and forget about it.

Thank you a lot for the response. The only real problem I'm having right now is forgiving myself. I know I would never repeat this again, but it's still hard to accept what I did.

All I can really do is forgive myself, and be thankful that my "addiction" per say is gone and will not interfere with my relationship ever again.

[nysprod]

Thank you a lot for the response. The only real problem I'm having right now is forgiving myself. I know I would never repeat this again, but it's still hard to accept what I did.

All I can really do is forgive myself, and be thankful that my "addiction" per say is gone and will not interfere with my relationship ever again.

It may be trite but it's true...time heals all wounds. Good luck.

[Prospero]

Put it behind you. Accept that you made a mistake - a tiny one - and that you've discovered more about yourself. Don't be tempted to wreck your relationship by confessing to this tiny aberration. It's nothing. Let it go.

[breakingbad14]

By the way, this TS woman, was she an escort, or someone you know? If she's an escort she'll be discreet, if she's not, is there a chance your gf will find out?

[ronnyron23]

Thank you so much ! Both of ya'll, it helped a lot to get this off my chest and helps even more to have 2 open-minded people be so encouraging.

[nysprod]

By the way, this TS woman, was she an escort, or someone you know? If she's an escort she'll be discreet, if she's not, is there a chance your gf will find out?

Not important...obviously she was an escort...he should erase all records of any contact that was made with her...people who feel guilty tend to leave evidence around on purpose...if his gf finds this out, she's gone and there will be no getting her back.