Do nice guys finish last?

[Jamie French]

Neanderthals didn't last because they were nowhere near as savage as homo sapiens. WE snuffed them out. Don't think for a minute that our species was any less brutal just because we were built with smoother features. We were cavemen and we were totally built to last.

In my experience, "Nice guys" finish[keyword : "finish"]....
"Bad Boys" ultimately end up as fertilizer...or locked up with WORSE guys like Bubba...
And the girls that pine for them[Bad boys]...? Usually end up ALONE. Either trying to raise a bunch of his[their--'cause she could never stop @just one] kids
alone or relying on her [eventually] fading looks/charms to snag a new sucker...
There's a reason why Neanderthals & Cro-Magnons aren't walking the Earth today in large numbers: CAVEMEN AREN'T BUILT TO LAST...
They have a low life expectancy and any girl "in love"/addicted to them better get used to the idea of a cold & empty cave after the embers of passion have burned out...

Focus on developing yourself into being the best "you" you can be & don't buy into any of the surface b.s. out there...You'll end up happier, healthier, & hopefully that'll attract somebody worthwhile...my twopence...

[Jamie French]

No one thinks that being nice is a poor trait, but if it's your only trait and you take the time to complain about it then you're a shitty under-developed person with no real self awareness or genuine empathy.

I do apologize for the grammar, it just annoys me when people really think that being nice is a poor trait.

[goatman]

The question is: As we develop all this new technolgy & new means to satisfy our wants/needs...are we actually DE-EVOLVING as a species(or at least as a society)? I hold doors open, hold the chair out, light the cigarette(if you actually still smoke), etc because that's how I was RAISED! [My folks are from the South...they didn't stand for anything less.] It's called CIVILITY--i.e. "civilization" for a reason, people! & if you were raised in a gutter[figuratively or literally] and view kindness, politeness, gentility, & chivalry as weakness...that's YOUR shortcoming, not mine! Try me at your risk & be found wanting...[And ALONE waiting for a cab!] I'm not changing my core-hardware to fit in your schedule(or your bed!) I got through 3 plus decades fine without you being me, thank you!
As for the matter unmentioned(but briefly touched upon)..."pussy"["ass", i.e., sex] is not that difficult to get. Love and/or companionship/partnership, that's an altogether different animal...

[Jamie French]

If you do anything simply because that's how you were raised then you've never had a a thought that counts in your life.

I'm polite to people, hold open doors, etc. because I'm genuinely considerate towards other human beings - it feel s good to be nice... NOT because it was how I was raised. What are you, some sort of easily programmed robot or a goddamned fully functional autonomous human being?

This is the difference between people who are merely nice and people who have confidence and a well rounded personality. Sincerity.

[Jamie French]

The truth is people who wear the nice guy tag on their sleeve aren't really nice. They're simply passive. They are taking the path of least resistance in life, the path that requires no self exploration or effort. Then they complain when they aren't rewarded for their surface level pleasantness. Here's a hint, people see right through that bullshit and will leave you hangin' every time. Do the hard thing. Man up.

Take it from me... I live an awesome life, have always had a pretty girlfriend and am held in great esteem by friends, family and business associates alike. I'm proof that the hard way is the right way. Even when I do suffer through awful things, my awful things count so much more because I actually learn something from each shitty experience or instance of rejection.

[Jamie French]

Threads like these have existed ever since the internet provided the meek with a way to vent their frustrations from a safe distance. When will 'nice guys' realize that the conversation NEVER changes. The nice guys always spew the same three or four arguments, they balk at the obvious advice and they never get any further ahead.

You'd think that if there were something fundamentally correct about the whole nice guy thing then you'd see an equal amount of threads coming from douche bags about how nice guys get all the girls. The fight would have some sort of built in equilibrium. The truth is that "nice guys" are just another flavor of douche bag.

[Rusty Eldora]

Yes, it is proper etiquette for the lady to cum first.

[trish]

It is a mistake to interpret “survival of the fittest” to mean “survival of the most aggressive.” The word “fittest” refers to the species that “fits” comfortably within its ecological niche. Sometimes the fittest is the most aggressive. Sometimes it’s the most prolific reproducer. Often the best survival strategies are cooperative. This is especially true of the social, naked primate. We gather in communities, divide labor, take care of the old, the young, the infirm, share resources and form cooperative societies. This has been our survival strategy for tens of thousands of years.

Within a cooperative society there is always a niche for thieves and niches are almost always filled. Thievery takes various forms. Common thieves who work the crowd picking pockets, and sophisticated thieves who scam and swindle sometimes from positions of power within the social hierarchy. They can be businessmen, bankers and office holders. But no matter how ambitious and creative they may be, they are thieves and freeloaders: they do not increase the fitness of the species, they decrease it.

Bad boys can do well and rise to comfortable positions within society. But too many bad boys will drain the resources of their host society, decrease the fitness of that society within the larger environment and may even bring about its collapse.

[goatman]

If you do anything simply because that's how you were raised then you've never had a a thought that counts in your life.

I'm polite to people, hold open doors, etc. because I'm genuinely considerate towards other human beings - it feel s good to be nice... NOT because it was how I was raised. What are you, some sort of easily programmed robot or a goddamned fully functional autonomous human being?

This is the difference between people who are merely nice and people who have confidence and a well rounded personality. Sincerity.

Being "raised properly" is not a matter or "being programmed" any more than getting an education["quality" or otherwise]...It's merely a foundation on which to build/form a collection of beliefs, environment/experiences, value system, point of view/way of thinking that hopefully result in a balanced individual...Just like no two individuals are alike, no two experiences are alike...Thus, you can have a person from a "stable" family background turn out to be a "criminal"/"sociopath" vs. someone from a more[allegedly] "deprived" background turning out to be an individual of "good character"...As with everything else, the odds can go either way(depending on the "strength" of the individual...it's just a roll of the dice...

That being said, there's nothing wrong with having a parent/parents somebody teach an individual a system of positive behavioral standards/values system during their formative period[i.e "childhood] in order to convey acceptable survival strategies in order to function in a "civilized" society...We're not raping, pillaging, & eating each other--directly--en masse, anymore(& the ones that DO & see this as normal, they get isolated & given a wide berth. Real Quick, like..)Ultimately, the choice is up to the individual: "I choose to be well-manned, respectful, reasonable, & polite as opposed to murdering/eating people & fucking them in the ass without their consent"...but having that "proper raising/upbringing" as a default/backup towards functioning normally goes a long way...

And it's not weakness to nice or civil...

[Ms.Stepford]

A lot of times when I hear a guy lamenting that his niceness isn't getting him anywhere it's because he's expecting that it will. He's looking at it like he's putting "nice tokens" into a woman, and expecting a return, but he doesn't want to say that because it wouldn't seem nice. So, he pines away in the"friend zone" -which is a bullshit misogynistic term that suggests that there's no reason to be nice to women other than to get into our pants, while we're just thinking "maybe this one actually understands that I don't want to date him, but he genuinely wants to be friends," because that's all they've expressed.

You can avoid these feelings by exposing your intentions outright, then either a.) handling the rejection and moving on, b.) handling the rejection, but sticking around because you genuinely want to be a friend, or c.) success! She's into you!

I can think of more than one occasion when one shy guy has been buying me drinks all night, but not really putting forth any personality, expecting that I'm going to make all the actual social interaction effort while he sits there undressing me in his head, following me like a puppy dog, and waiting for me to get drunk enough to hook up with him (ha! I'm from Buffalo, sweetie). Then some guy who's actually attractive to me comes around, and the chemistry is all there right up to the point when he invites me to his place, and the poor nice guy is wondering why his subtle approach didn't work. Well, it was too subtle, and under the false pretense of just being a genuinely nice guy. If he were confident enough (and competent -let's face it. A lot of guys really have no "game") to actually flirt rather than play coy and nice games, I'd have just told him I wasn't seeing him like that and bought my own drinks. Of course it's too much to ask that he recognize that I was consciously making sure that I wasn't sending any signals that could be interpreted as leading him on.

Now, this is not a suggestion that you try some PUA techniques, because any girl who's been around the block is done falling for those.

Just be yourself and make your intentions clear. It's better for your self-esteem and your wallet.