Brittany St Jordan Thread - One Place To Post All Things BSJ

[nysprod]

Porno Wonderland

Fantastic...I can hear the Annie Lennox version with your lyrics...Happy Holidays!

[JordanNite]

Oh don't get me wrong Britney, i wasn't having a go or hating, i was merely mentioning it was a great wig.

Trust me ... i am fan, i wish you made some more videos ! You got a great looking going on. Would love to fuck that ass.

[youngblood61]

Great set Brit. Love that corset, love the softer look.

[Brittany St Jordan]

You can read the prior chapters on my blog

A New Beginning

I made it back to VA where I was now dealing with the emotional fallout from my family full of asshats along with my ex's new chick's dog pissing all over everything. It was this tiny little chihuahua that looked like a holiday reindeer decoration. The dog would have been almost tolerable if it had the ability to refrain from pissing all of the time. I left the house to Kassy so that she and her new fling would have a place to live and prosper in. Evidently they never got that memo because the place was fucking trashed. So every time I saw this fucking dog dripping piss everywhere it only infuriated me more and more.

My couch with the faux suede upholstery that housed a queen sized bed had now become the official “Oh fuck let me piss here” cushion de jor for little miss sprinklebell. Combined with the lack of any sign that anyone had done one minute of housework since I had left I was constantly finding more and more reasons to be absolutely disgusted in ways I had no idea existed when sitting in your own house. The level of OMFG was beyond the suggested daily allowance. So I made the decision that I would be taking my dogs with me when I left to go back to CA.

This little idea went over about as good as I expected it to. Once all of the “Are you fucking nuts?” questions stopped I was able to let Kassy know that there was no way I was leaving Bumper there in that cesspool of human and canine neglect. Taking Bumper meant I would have to take Bella as well since they were pretty much a package deal. Kassy flipped her shit and since I wasn't there when she told the new chick about my plan I am guessing she lost her mind as well when she heard the news. Kassy countered with the argument of the dogs were also hers and blah blah blah she wasn't letting me have them. I know how to pick and choose my arguments so I let this one go.

Since we were playing this is mine and that is yours game I figured I would up the ante a bit. I packed up the TV, the surround system and anything else that would be a huge inconvenience for them and took it with me. Because it was fucking mine. See, I can play this game really good too. As it was all be packed up and ready to go for me to head back to Cali there was still something off. There was a huge sinking feeling of leaving Bumper behind. So now that I had all of “my” stuff taken down, packed and ready to go, it was now time to go wake up and let her know I would be taking Bumper with me.

This would be the final straw of how fucking disgusted I could possibly be with another human being. As I opened the door to what used to be the bedroom I shared with Kassy when we were together I was in total horrific shock. I wish someone was naked doing really kinky things to one another but no, instead I got to witness the garbage dump of stuff that littered the entire room several feet deep. The smell mixed with the visual was enough to make me want to run and then it happened. Kassy rolled over and grabbed a box with a doggie pad in to let sprinkles pee in it instead of taking her outside. I was utterly floored and disgusted to the point where I no longer had remorse or sympathy for her ever again.

She came out to the living room where she saw the TV and stuff taken down and started to talk. I let her know I was taking Bumper with me. The sheer amount of anger that rose through her body could have powered a small country for about a decade. The combination of things being taken that “were mine” along with Bumper was too much for her to even argue about it. She kept herself and the new chick out of my way while I packed my car and grabbed Bumper. Soon enough I was all packed up and heading back to LA, again, this time with a copilot.

This was when I made the choice that I was done with porn. I had my own portable studio for shooting photos and videos along with the computers to edit and produce it all. With everything that had happened I was finished modeling. Whatever drive I had was now gone. All I wanted to do was shoot photos of anything for anyone and get paid to do it. As fate would have it, the photographer who was working for Nica Noelle on her scenes moved out of town. I sent her a few samples of my work and landed a spot on her crew as a photographer.

When there was breaks in the shooting cycle I was filling it with shooting concerts. I did a couple before working with Nica and the more I did both I was able to break out of comfort zone as a photographer. There are little nuances with both types of shooting that when combined really expanded my abilities. It was something that sort of just happened. So I went with it and I am glad that I did. Now I can grab just about any camera and know that I can take breathtaking images with it.

There was the issue of me no longer shooting content for my site. We took the dates off of everything and I periodically would add a set here or there that I had already shot. It kept the site somewhat afloat for the time being and allowed to focus on other projects and ideas I was thinking about. I was also trying to distance myself from the Brittany St Jordan name while doing work on projects outside of porn. This was where Brittany St Jordan fizzled out and Renae Lupini took over again.

It was actually unsettling at first when using my legal name again after years of going by Brittany. The only people who ever kept on calling me Brittany were my roommates. Amy and her girlfriend always called me Brittany regardless of how many times I reminded them I was going by Renae again. If it made their world a little easier calling me Brittany then so be it. It was only around the apartment anyways so it was no big deal.

Soon enough Spring turned to Summer and our lease was almost up at the apartment. We had been looking around and there wasn't much of anything just popping out for us to move into. John, who was a client who became a close friend, was looking to move to LA and offered to go in within us on a place so we could split it by one more person. This was a no-brainer but the market for a nice place in our price range was looking dismal at best. John and I had the idea that if nothing came up we would just go in on a small two bedroom for the two of us and let Amy and her girlfriend find their own place. This sounded like a decent plan on paper.

When I told Amy of the possibility of just John and I getting a place together she broke down into tears. Fuck me, not the reaction I was expecting. We still had one week to pull this off before the end of the lease so Amy and I hit the streets scouring apartment after apartment with nothing coming our way. Then we found it. The perfect townhouse. Everything about it was exactly what we were looking for and more while being within our price range. Now to get a lease on it before the old one runs out.

We planned it to where our last day at the old apartment would be our first day in the townhouse. We got the lease all ready to go and all we had to do was get the moving truck packed and be gone. The day before we were set to leave there was a knock on our door. I was asked if I was one of the three tenants of the apartment to which the guy named all of us. I said I was Renae and asked how I could help him. He promptly handed me subpoena papers for an eviction notice for non payment of rent. Well, this was just the way I wanted to get the day started.

When we went down to talk to the leasing office before moving out the guy told us that if we wanted to we could have the last month's rent taken out of the security deposit when we left. Pretty sweet idea so that is is what we did. We planned on the final rent coming out of the security deposit and us being gone to our new townhouse. Evidently the guy in leasing never gave the memo to the people in legal so, we got served. I called our supposed to be future landlord and let her know what was happening. She was really awesome and said she would hold the townhouse for us for a few days to get things sorted out.

Being that my head was all kinds of fuzzy and full of WTF I went to the leasing office to find out what was going on. I was told that yes, sometimes people get to do the final rent our of the security deposit thing but we would not be in that category. When I inquired as why the fuck not I was shown the payment history for the last three years that Amy had lived in the the apartment. Every single payment was late from the first month until that last one. Well, that sums up that little puzzle. There was no budging on this one from the leasing office and the only way to get out of the eviction was to pay all money due at that time. Well, fuck.

Amy's girlfriend had a friend who lent her the money to cover the money owed at that time. I had just done my one last scene for Transsexual Babysitters 21 and that money went into the pot for rent that we used for getting the new townhouse all set up. We were all flying through this by the skin of our teeth it was really getting close. Once we had the money orders I went down to the leasing office with my camera and microphone ready to roll. We knew exactly what they could hit us for and had to ignore upon us moving out based on California law. So I let them know this and I was recording this process of payment along with acknowledgment of our legal rights on camera as well as recording them for my own legal purposes. That was the best customer service they ever gave us.

We were finally cleared from the eviction and Amy got her full security deposit back a few weeks later. We made the move into the new house along with John as our new roommate. Amy and her girlfriend took the master suite, I took the room with the bookshelves and a stained glass window and John got the remaining room for himself. I had a little flower bed and herb garden growing out back and we all just chilled out most of the time. The only real battle we had was over the thermostat as the master suite got super hot so when the AC was up high the other rooms got super cold. Which made for a lot of back and forth adjustments to the temperature whenever passing the thermostat.

We rarely ever saw Amy or Melissa at all. For the most part they stayed in their room. With them staying in their room as much as they did John and I hung out talked a lot. Bumper really dug John too. A dog is a great tool for judging people's character. Especially a dog like Bumper. He is always super relaxed and barely makes a sound. So when he barks at someone I automatically know they're going to be an asshole. From the moment Bumper was around John all he wanted to was play. This told me that John was definitely a good guy to have around. This also the reasoning behind why I took John up on the roommate offer. Had he and Bumper not got along there would have been no new roommate.

I was sitting there at my desk editing photos one day and I could hear music coming out of Amy and Melissa's room. To drown it out I decided to turn on some Alex Jones videos as they generally made them cringe. At the end of one of the videos was a link one about sacred geometry and monuments around the world. This would be the first time I would ever see the words sacred geometry and it was about to change my entire world forever. In a nutshell it is the bridge between science and spirituality that suddenly made everything in my world all make perfect sense.

To write about the topic of sacred geometry can take thousands of pages and barely skim it all. There is no way I can possibly explain what it is but I'll do my best to explain how it effected me. Through video after video I was getting a much deeper appreciation for this sacred geometry stuff. It was when I found the videos by Spirit Science that everything became very real for me. Through everything I had ever been through and witnessed there was always unanswered questions and as I flew down this rabbit hole on a quest for knowledge and understanding things began making more sense than they had ever before in my life.

It was as if someone handed me the keys to my own kingdom that I had no idea I was even looking for. This was when my life transformed from merely being lived because it was the thing to do into enjoying every single breath of air and finding an emotional connection with natural world around me. I ditched my office chair for a big purple yoga ball. I found a crystal store right down the street that became my new home. I delved into Native American practices that tied into my new found spiritual awakening. The only music I was listening to was all relaxing mellow new age and lots of indigenous tribal music from around the world. This was all happening and I wasn't smoking any pot at all. I was completely sober throughout this entire metamorphosis.

The starting point of sacred geometry is the Flower of Life. It is quite simple to draw using a pencil and drafting compass. Where it gets interesting is when you start taking the circles outward from the center and start connecting the intersections. Yes, this can be done real quick on a computer. However, there is something that happens when you draw it by hand. The focus on the lines and points clears the mind of all fogginess. Every little bit of stress fades away. The only way to understand it is to actually do it. Once I was finished with my drawing I would sit down and journal. This is when things got real interesting for me.

The things that I was writing were of no experience or connection to anything that I had ever been a part of throughout my life. One of the reoccurring things was that Denver was the place to be whenever the Earth shook hard enough to break off California into the sea. Any time I sat down to write after doing some drawings based on sacred geometry it was like I was connected to something or someone else and I was jotting down whatever it was I was supposed to. Needless to say, this scared the ever living fuck out of my roommates.

John was supportive and inquisitive of my new found purpose I life. Amy and Melissa on the other hand wanted nothing to do with it. They avoided me at all costs and honestly, I really wasn't too worried about because for the first time ever in my life I found peace and happiness that nobody could ever take away from me. Call me crazy, say I'm fucked up or throw whatever derogatory term you have at me. The clarity I found within myself outweighed any berating anyone could throw in my direction. When I refer to this as a spiritual awakening, it woke up a sleeping beast that will now be awake forever. Nobody can say or do anything to ever make me feel less of a person for believing in these things I had discovered.

Chakras, numerology, alchemy, vortex mathematics, ancient civilizations, the golden ratio, Fibonacci sequence and some good old Illuminati history for good measure were a lot of what I was delving into. Every story, video or web site led me further and further down this new path of self-discovery. What made every bit of ring true was that as I continued to learn more and more about every bit of all of this I would wake up smiling ready to embrace every day as if it were the most perfect day ever created. There were many times where I would get this overwhelming surge of peace and joy that would make my entire body feel like it was charged with 1000 volts of electricity. This was what made realize that every bit of this was absolutely real and more true than anything else I had ever been told.

It is the studying of human as beings of pure energy that gets really interesting. This was where I really started devoting a lot of my time to learning more of. How crystals can be used like personal energy modifiers and how the energy of one person can effect an entire room. We are all vibrational frequencies being picked up by our sensory systems which organizes them into shapes and patterns we tend to call our environment. These frequencies change based upon the variables of our life at that exact centered moment of created perfection. This is why some people can liven up a party while others bring it to a screeching halt.

Synchronicity is when the energy of other dimensions and realities gets intertwined with the one in which we exist. It is like a point where there is infinite cohesion of everything at that exact moment. I had no idea what they were called when they first started happening but once I noticed them they began happening more frequently. There is no way to point it out and be like “Ooo there's one.” They just happen and when they do life goes from ordinary to magical in less than a blink of an eye. These little moments would become my guiding force in everything I did from this point on. There was something I was supposed to find and I wanted to know what it was.

I was on location for a shoot and we knew there was going to be a three week break between then and our next scheduled scene. One of the girls who was staying at the house we were shooting at was reading a book about ancient prophesies and just so happened to be one I downloaded on pdf. This is an example of one of those syncronicities I was talking about. Going to a porn shoot and meeting a young girl who just happens to be reading this book at the sake of everyone thinking she off her rocker. We actually did get a chance to sit down and talk a little bit away from the chaos of the set area. She was very much looking for answers to things as I was just months prior. I told her where I found my answers at and how it effected me as a person. At the end of the day we exchanged crystals with one another and that was last time I ever saw her.

This was also where a most life altering idea would come upon me. I figured that if we were going to be off for three weeks I would go backpack across the country. I opened up my trusty Google Earth and started looking at the mileage of such a trip. That was when instead of traveling across the US I decided I would go to Mexico instead. It was instantly cemented in my head. While we were on break I would be backpacking someplace south of the border far away from everything. I had seen the US by car enough times so I knew right then and there that I was going to be going to visit Mayan ruins in Mexico. This was where I was supposed to go. What began as simple trip soon became an all out journey like no other ever before.

I really got wrapped up in the Mayan 2012 end of the world thing and it was my entire focus on my trip to Mexico. Would aliens come down and smite us all? Only one way to find out for sure. That involved going right to the source and seeing for myself. I began looking over locations of Mayan cities and Palenque became my destination. Intuition was all that was guiding me and I knew that in order for my intuition to do its thing I had to trust it completely without any doubt. This would be the first time I had ever had this much self-confidence regarding any decision I had ever made. It was quite amazing as I had zero fear of what I was about to go through. I just knew it was what I had to do.

I soon modified the original backpacking trip to be an actual leaving the country for who knows how long sort of thing. I began selling anything of mine that I knew I could get money for. As I would make enough cash I would go visit the backpacking store down the street and the crystal shop. I even made a trip to a benitoite mine open to the public before I left as it is the only one is existence in the world. I got some really comfy boots and socks that put any tennis shoe to shame when it came to comfort. I even found underwear that could be worn for six weeks without getting funky. Modern technology is awesome.

The biggest money maker was the selling of my car. About a month earlier I tried this voyage into the wilderness thing at Joshua Tree national park. It started raining out of nowhere and I left my sunroof cracked as I was in the middle of the fucking desert and had no expectation of rain. The idea of my car being drenched made me run back to it and go back home. This time there would be no car to hold on to. I discovered that material possessions are direct ties to memories whether good or bad and I threw away a lot of personal stuff that I had been toting around for years for the sake of holding onto for sentimental reasons. It felt so fucking good to let it all go.

Along with with my last paycheck from a shoot I did I was set to go to Mexico. All I had to do was wake up the next day and go to the airport to hop on a plane. Was I scared, excited or anything showing my emotional state? No, as I told everyone before I left, I was just ready. There was no anxiety or joy. Only the feeling that whatever was going to happen was going to be well worth leaving my entire life behind for.

The day before I left I typed up a letter and emailed to everyone who I thought should know of my plans. The following morning I woke up, smashed my cell phone, said goodbye to Bumper as he was staying with John and heading to LAX. Right before I left I hit send on that letter I wrote and here it is word for word just as it was the day I sent it out those closest to me.

By the time you are reading this I will be in the jungles of Central America. Before I get into the details of the whole thing I want to sort a few things out.

Why in the world would I up and move to Central America? Well, it is quite simple really. I have finally found a connection between my scientific understandings of the universe and my spiritual connections with people and things around me. Somewhere around the beginning of September I stumbled upon some information about sacred geometry. After doing more research I stumbled on to other topics like unified field theory. These are the two main principles that mathematically prove that there is not only an energy connecting all of us but we are also part of that very same energy. It gets a lot deeper than that so I implore you to do some research on your own.

With my new level of enlightenment, the more I look around me and see how far away from spirituality (not religion) we have gotten as a collective whole it is really disturbing. However, we are like a giant coral reef. We all have our own views and perspectives but what effects as an individual also effects as a whole. So, in order for our spirits to go through the entire human experience we must go through the bad as well as the good. So I know all of this has to happen but that doesn't mean I have to be a part of it. I have chosen to disconnect from the rat race and go be one with nature and the universe as we are meant to be.

There are two base emotions that we feel. They are fear and love. The society that we have built is based on fear. Everything around us is designed to tell us what not do and all of the bad things that will happen to us. There is very little information based on unconditional love as this would totally upset the controlling powers of the world as we know it. And the few places where inner unconditional love is the main factor it is also used for monetary gain instead of readily spreading the information to those who need it.

In this world, money is the root of all evil. It has become the only thing people have pride for. The human ego was designed to keep us grounded to this world but it got out of hand and became corrupt and greedy. We have become all about "me" and not about "us" as a whole. We let fear control our every thought and have forgotten what real unconditional love from within our own hearts really feels like. I have felt it and it is amazing. It is a field of supercharged energy that surrounds your entire being and you instantly feel connected with everything above and below. You begin to see the divine being that you really are and it is simply amazing when it happens.

All of this degradation of society and coming enlightenment has been foretold for a very long time. About every 26,000 years this earth goes through radical change. We are now coming up on the end of the what is known as the iron age (not the same as what you were taught in school) which is a time that is dense and lacking spiritual connection. However, we are on the brink of a new golden age of enlightenment and those who are able to raise their internal frequencies will be able to pass through to this new age. Everyone else gets to stay here and keep on living as you are right now.

Want to take a guess as to when ancient civilizations think this is going to happen? On the winter solstice of 2012. That is December 21, 2012. This is not just a Mayan idea. This is a constant occurrence in the prophecies of many ancient cultures all around the world. It doesn't mean the end of the world. Apocalypse, the world mostly associated with this, means a lifting of the veil. So what this means is that those who are tuned into the energy around us will raise their own frequencies and move into this new dimension of existence. One Earth stays in the third dimension, where we are now, and the other moves into a new higher dimension of being. This shift actually started back around 2003 and we have been slowly going through it and some of you may be able to do some research and see how your own lives have been affected so far.

This usually happens after death for each individual spirit but this is the first time that we are able to do this as an entire planet. Think of this as a cell dividing just like human conception. From one single cell we are going to split into two. One will remain the same and the new one will evolve into a higher level of conscious being. This will cause a lot of natural disasters as the two split and finally become separate. Once it is over things will calm down and life will begin anew in a new golden age of enlightenment. Things will also progress here on the third dimension but without the spiritual connection of the higher dimensions. Artificial intelligence without a soul and built buy the ego of humans is going to be a dangerous thing.

Being that everything is energy and what we think we see is simply the vibratory frequency of that energy depicted by our brain means that all of the material stuff we hold dear doesn't mean squat. All of our cars, iPods, money and everything we perceive to be around us only serves to distract us from being able to think, meditate and connect with the higher energy all around us. This doesn't have to be the case though. I am not suggesting everyone sell their material belongings and move to Central America. I have done this because that is where I am at in my own spiritual evolution. What I am saying is to put a little more time into appreciating and loving all living things.

People, plants, animals, crystals and the Earth are all living things. Every one of them can produce a frequency just as we have a heart beat. We are not humans searching for a spiritual experience but divine beings going through a human experience. Outside of this world there is no ego. We were created to see how the ego would effect the spirit and to learn every aspect of that. This is why "God" allows bad things to happen to good people. (FYI - we are all a part of "God" as we all a part of the same divine energy) When people don't quite get it right the spirit comes back (reincarnation) to do it all over again. Only once we have learned how to unconditionally love without fear can we ascend to whichever level of being we came from.

When was the last time any of us went walking our neighborhoods and said hello to total strangers? This simple gesture can work wonders. It breaks a barrier and opens communication between two people. A smile and a hello will brighten that person's day. They may not always respond right away but it will eventually click. You will get a sense of happiness within yourself for being able to acknowledge them and share a smile together. This creates an every growing cycle of love that keeps on growing. So the next time you are out and see someone say hello and smile. You can even go a step further and compliment them on something about themselves. This will really make them happy and brighten their day.

A quick easy way to really make your own world a lot more peaceful is by doing one simple thing. Instead of passing judgment on someone pass it on to yourself. "That person is a jerk because of...." "They really should do this or that because.....""If only they would do this, they would....." All of the things we think about the people around us simply a manifestation of our own fears and self imposed limitations. When we redirect the judgment upon ourselves then we see the real issue inside of us and we can world through it. It isn't always a fun thing to do but when it is said and done we are much happier with ourselves and treat others around with a little more love than we did before. Everyone is rubber and we are all our own glue in this regard.

Why is that we think we only have a certain amount of time to get everything accomplished? Time is an infinite thing with no beginning and no end. Instead of thinking of it as a straight line from point A to point B think of it as a spiral that goes in a circle and the ends touch each other. The spirals represent the great ages we go through, such as golden, silver, bronze and iron. Also known as the great age. Time is not something we can harness or control. We currently do everything to work against it instead of with it. Understanding that we literally have all the time in the universe we can stop stressing out about doing everything we possibly can in the shortest amount of time possible. Even if our spirit ascends from this world time keeps on going. Our human body may perish but the spirit is eternal.

What happens when we die? It is not a big guy with a giant knife coming to harvest our souls. There is no pearly gates with a drop chute to fiery pit of damnation if you messed up. The concept of heaven and hell is quite interesting actually. Heaven is the place where we ascend to. The next dimension of our existence on the astral planes. Hell is not going there and instead, coming back to live on this third dimension of Earth until we get it right. We don't go to hell. We are already living there. We may also be living in purgatory as well which is half in one and half in the other.

We have this fear of death as it is the final point of our existence. Because of this we fear it and do all that we can to escape it. Just look around at how "safe" our world has been made in attempts to prevent it from happening. Children look like medieval knights riding their bicycles with all of the padding and helmets required to experience fun. Elder care is a booming business because we can't bare the thought of losing a loved one but yet don't want the responsibility to care for them either. We fear this death and see it as a loss. The fact of the matter is we all knew each other on the astral planes before we decided to come to Earth. When we leave we will all see one another again. When we see the spirit as being freed from this world and going on to a new place of imaginable beauty and wonder then death is no longer the tragedy we were taught to believe.

These are all reasons why I have sold a majority of my personal belongings and donating the rest to those mentioned at the beginning. I am disconnecting from this web of deception and fear and going to somewhere I can be surrounded by love and nature. I could easily go to a rural area in the US but that would be the easy way. Instead I am going to a foreign land with nothing more than I can carry on back. I shall live off of the fruit of the land and will be traveling on foot. My goal is to be at a particular Mayan location on the solstice to experience it first hand. This is much bigger than me or anything on this Earth. This is my calling from somewhere high above telling me to do this.

I have come to discover that I am here as way to spread the message of universal unconditional love without fear. I haven't ever fully embraced either male or female social norms. That is because spirit is genderless. It is an ethereal body of divine light that exudes love in all directions into infinity. This is why I have been able to overcome personal obstacles without hesitation. It is why I am not meant to be in any one place for an extended amount of time. I am always off on my next adventure so that I can inspire and encourage those around me to know what unconditional love without fear really is.

So as I close this final message to you I ask that instead of responding just to me in your reply, that you reply to the entire list of people and begin communication with possible total strangers who have been brought together by this very moment in our existence. I love you all from the very bottom of my heart. I can't wait to see you all again on the other side.

[Brittany St Jordan]

Happy New Year

[robertlouis]

Happy New Year

Great pic Brittany. Is that your own hair this time?

And just a thought. Ever considered dropping the "S" from your three letter acronym?.......

[hiten369]

Happy New Year Brittany!!!

[algebra1900]

You can read the prior chapters on my blog

A New Beginning....



So as I close this final message to you I ask that instead of responding just to me in your reply, that you reply to the entire list of people and begin communication with possible total strangers who have been brought together by this very moment in our existence. I love you all from the very bottom of my heart. I can't wait to see you all again on the other side.

I read the whole thing, I am proud. Some very funny moments, roommate issues that I think everyone has shared at some point, a good note to always comment if a girl's dog barks at me that I failed on test, and interesting you dropped Alex Jones. A friend of mine moved to Ecuador for very similar reasons, however if that is what path you feel you must go down, go down it. However the fight has only just begun...

[youngblood61]

Happy New Year!

[Brittany St Jordan]

Zombie attack prevention in a dress and heels