I got fucked by a crack whore last night (true story)

**chefmike** · 06-12-2006

So I went out drinking yesterday with my buddy Sleazo (we both work at the same gay bar). We hung out in the bathroom of the 'Glory Hole'(our fav bar) with a mutual friend, who is currently making a small fortune selling his ass. We drank, told stories, and took care of the patrons...but after six beers, and three times as many men, it was time to move on.

We made our way to the men's restroom in the Minneapolis bus station, Sleazo is currently seeing a guy at the moment who frequents it. He hooked us up with loose change, whiskey and beer and we had fun, talking too loud and irritating the straight guys in the restroom. We left eventually, and this is where memory fails me for a brief time.

I ended up back in my apartment with a crack whore. Not an escort or anything fancy, just a fairly ugly, late 30's, kinda nervous crack whore CD. I don't usually pick up CD crack whores this early in the evening at all actually, so this was somewhat odd, but what the hell? I don't remember meeting her either, but these things happen. I got us both some drinks and we sat and talked on my couch, then there was a knock on my door.

This dreamy guy with glasses walked in and did just what a person would expect him to do, and I laughed at him. He was getting tough, talking shit, and I told him "Shut the fuck up! You're not talking to Joe Lunchbox here. I know this fuckin game and you've been on at least three security cameras just coming up here. I'm going to hang out with your girl, have some drinks, and then I'm gonna blow you, and if you're mean to me I'm not gonna swallow."

I started sucking his dick and thats when things got ugly... I mean he didn't even say thanks.

He didn't even tip me, and he left. So I hung out with the CD crack whore, although right now I have no idea what we talked about. At the moment half of my bottle of whiskey is gone, and there is an empty can of Miller Genuine Draft next to my sink (she must of had it in her pocket), so I imagine we blabbed for quite awhile. I asked her what her rate was to fuck my ass (and I have a very nice ass), and she said 30 dollars. I gave her $40, kissed her on the forehead, and told her to stay away from that dipshit pimp (because I wanted him for myself), and that I thought she(?) was a very sweet girl. And then I spread my cheeks and she showed me how to take it like a man...from a man...

And then he left....

Somewhat strange evening.

I don't know why I'm posting this. It's a true story, and it happened last night, and I'm still walking bowlegged...

The moral: Guys, always be nice to CD crack whores, even if they drink Miller Genuine Draft. CD crack whores are good people. And if a pimp tries to shake you down, it helps if you suck his dick, even though in my case he didn't even tip me...