How Do I Come Out?

[Brittany St Jordan]

Last week I was emailed and asked for some advice on coming out of the closet. So, I am sharing her request along with my answer. May this give others the power to once again believe in themselves and truly enjoy the life they have been given.

“Well I am currently making my transition and I am still very discreet and closeted and was hoping you could give me some advice “

How can you be discreet and still evolve into whatever your next part of life has to offer? Discretion is only really needed when people are paying for it. Even then it is still questionable as to whether you decide to keep their secrets or not. What is it that keeps you from just flinging the doors open and letting the world see you as you see yourself?

Your world around you is merely a reflection of your own subconscious bouncing back at you. When you are at peace with who you are without any fear or anxiety it will be the perfect moment to reveal yourself. However, this perfect moment is the dangling carrot that keeps you locked up in your own bubble without ever achieving it. Sucker punch fear in the nuts and kick anxiety in the face as they are the gatekeepers to your freedom of you being able to achieve ultimate personal harmony within yourself.

Friends, family, co-workers…etc have zero bearing on any decision you make. The choice is yours and yours alone to either live in secrecy and occasionally poke at the invisible fence you think is around you or to simply say fuck it and live life by your rules that make you happy when you have to look at yourself in the mirror. You have to be able to accept every part of your very being and be able to believe in yourself because you are the best you that you can ever ever created. This is when you realize that this very moment becomes your moment of perfection and everything else simply adds to it.

You have the ability within you to be anything you want to be. It is up to you to find out who you are, how you got here and what you are going to do to never let anyone take that away from you. It is a sometimes difficult path as you must constantly face inner demons and be willing to conquer them. Some of them will always be there wanting control but it up to you as to whether or not they actually get it. Through this you will find confidence, pride and appreciation of who you are instead of who you think you have to be. Then you will start to believe in yourself and that is when the real magic begins.

Start a journal and write in it as much as possible. Question everything about what you write so that you are able to see the other side of the coin if you had to live those contradictory experiences how they would have effected your particular path in life. By understanding you are who you are based upon choices made only by you it will give you a greater insight as how those choices were made in the past and how to overcome the hurdles and limitations you set up based upon the world around you instead of the universe within you.

Hopefully this helps give you a bit of guidance on your path. Only you know what path you want to take and sometimes you have to be the one to make that path to get where you want to go. You are going to find that things go way beyond a simple transitory state and it becomes an evolution of yourself as a completely whole person. Transition is like flying from point a to point b. Two different point but not much else has changes. An evolution is an all-encompassing growth on many different levels that once achieved only continues to build upon itself. You have always been on your path of evolution but now it is time to finally open up to the realization that it is there and you are in complete control of it every step of the way.

This should get you where you want to be.

[Rusty Eldora]

Brittany-
I think you said things very well.

Back in college my Art teacher brought up something that has stuck with me.

"The artist always sees all the faults in the work compared to the perfection in our mind. Others usually only see the accomplishment and rarely see where the product didn't meet the mental image at its source."

Nothing is perfect, and ones goals get tempered by experience. Decide when you are ready for each step, but begin the steps of your journey.