Do looks drive transsexual acceptance... or competenecy

[bobluvs1]

Looks drive all things in life when it comes to acceptance. Guys dressed in drag walking down the street are not accepted Girls that are to tall have a hard time being accepted. Girls who hands are to big and don't have nails are not accepted. What it comes down to is two things. One there are no famous T:girls out there that have there own show where it be talk show or sit com or anything at all that can get there word out there. Most famous girls are in the industry and that is the only way that there known. Not meaning to stereotype any of them but its just reality. Two: This entire community has to move past the drag shows and the preformers need to be so much more in appearance and applying makeup to look feminine. Acceptance here in America is so far behind Europe. I honestly think it will be another 10 yrs or so before there really excepted in our society. Which to me is 10 yrs to long.

[Prospero]

What do you mean by acceptance, Wendy? Serious question.

The ability to suck cocks, if you are a working girl, might make you a commercial hit but won't breed respect. The ability to run a financial consultancy might make you a financial wiz. The wit and skill to write a best selling novel or direct a great film or compose a symphony might gain you acceptance and respect in those fields. But in terms of "acceptance' for who you are in terms of gender identity I suspect these are irrelevant. In the end it is about many high profile transgendered people being seen in a wide ranges of walks of life to be nice, good, interesting, beautiful etc etc... in fact to be ordinary folk like the rest of the population with qualities and flaws etc. The fact of being born a male or a female and moving to a true realisation of your inner gender identity may, one day, become something everyone sees as just part of the full and rich range of humanity. Roll on that day.

[broncofan]

Yeah, I was going to point that out but you just never know how one is going to react here to making waves and such .

You also didn't want to bruise my fragile ego, right?

[GroobyKrissy]

You also didn't want to bruise my fragile ego, right?

Yes, of course Hon. I competently accept all levels of ego.

[bluesoul]

Beauty?

i think beauty is the last think transsexuals should strive for because what one persons finds beautiful, another person won't. intelligence is the only constant.

during the documentary 'paris is burning' the filmmaker concluded that one transsexual was hard to take seriously because her needs were so shallow. her dreams were to become "a rich spoilt girl in suburbia". instead, she died in a motel room in new york.

what do you tell someone who already thinks you're beautiful? sorry, but i gotta be more beautiful for the people that don't think i'm already beautiful?

[Rusty Eldora]

Originally Posted by Jackal View Post
I cannot say for sure but I think the path is lessening ignorance about transgender and gender issues by the general public and more and more everyday people meeting, knowing and caring about transgender individual(s) in their day-to-day life.

Perfect.

'Passing' is where the majority of those that observe her think she is a woman. 'Sorta Passing' is where those that observe her think 'Wow, she has some male features. 'Not passing' is where the majority think 'what's that guy doing dressed as a woman.'

Attractive is a different parameter, a key one for acceptance by others. A person that is attractive has a much easier time befriending others. Someone with a visible deformity or disability has a difficult time befriending others. Personality and character are next checked on the road to becoming friends.

Competency is a measure at how good someone does at the task in question. Competency is admired and can build friendships and respect.


The handlers of our society (media, clergy, leaders, politicians) put out scripts about how we should classify persons. For a century Blacks were the target of scripts targeted to isolate and degrade them, only in the past few decades has the scripts change to being more accepting, but are still poorly written to get where they are 'just like us'.

Those same handlers scripted that MTF CD's and TV's are the lowest of the gay culture. The only possible reason they dress as woman is to Trap unsuspecting straight guys for a gay encounter. They didn't consider TG's because they think everyone should want to be male, what normal person would want to be female unless they had to. They have generally accepted girls behaving as guys or asexual, 'Oh, she's a Tomboy' as neither males or females feel threatened.

Guys feel threatened by Tgirls as being attracted to or associating with them might brand the guy as gay, in what is still a gay phobic society. Girls feel threatened by Tgirls because they often do fem very well and could steal their perspective mate.

It is only changing one person at a time, when someone meets a TG and finds them sincere. Only then do they realise that TG can be 'normal', although still rare, and should be considered a woman in all respects.

[bluesoul]

Competency in whatever it is we do... if you're a working girl then sucking cocks; if you're a marketing person how you market your product; if you're a financial planner, how rich you make your clients, if you're an inventor, how world-altering your creations are.

hoping this wasn't a serious answer

[BellaBellucci]

I'm pretty sure my family only accepts me because I'm 'passable.' That said, we all still pretty much hate each other anyway.

~BB~

[Merkurie]

In the US at least, its about looks.
If you look good, THEN your competency will be assessed. If you don't look good, you have to be exceptionally competent (aka more competent than anyone else) AND have an influential supporter.

[Wendy Summers]

Wow.

Yes the sucking cocks thing was a tongue in cheek answer, but the rest wasn't. Maybe competency wasn't the right word to choose - to be fair, as seanchai correctly guessed I hadn't really slept when I typed that... still haven't... maybe I shouldn't be typing this...

Anyway: let's assume competency was a bad choice of words. Maybe if I show examples of what I meant, this will make more sense.

A little over a week ago, RadioLab talked a bit about Martine Rothblatt - they mentiond, in passing that she was trans... I hadn't heard of her before so I went to do some research. When you look at her accomplishments, she's the kind of genius you write competency porn science fiction about. What fascinated me is almost any place you find information about her, her status as a transperson is often omitted entirely. I openly wondered if that was a function of her not fitting the narrative that transfolks are unstable, disenfranchised members of society.

This got me thinking to my own situation. I've a solid job in corporate America. They've done a lot to keep me comfortable in my job -- I'm good at what I do and my employers know it. If I wasn't as essential as I am, I wonder if I would have continued to be accepted in the company. I wonder if they would have put so much effort into educating the employees of the company if I was less essential.

Which lead me to the looks issue.

So often the trans community looks to, and worships, looks. Our heroes tend to be the pretty ones of us. Many of us get surgery after surgery to become pretty. I get emails from transwomen all the time telling me they wished they were as pretty as me.

It's made me think that maybe we, as a community, tend to chase after the wrong thing. That we'd be better off showcasing our worth to the world rather than our beauty. Of idolizing the genius among us rather than the models.

Or maybe I should just go the fuck to sleep.