Telakoituminen: I'm... speechless

[tsmirandameadows]

I have a pretty good Finnish friend, and he never mentioned this to me, and I can see why: even as the tranny, I would have looked like the normal one. Telakoituminen is the Finnish word for penis docking, which of course we're all familiar with, but among the Finns, it's what drunk bros in a sauna do to express their broness and it's "totally not gay."

Instructional chart:



And the Finnish apologia:

It can mean different things to different people, but for most it's just a more powerful way to show trust, togetherness and camaraderie - a mere handshake is nothing in comparison. When you place your foreskin on someone else's glans, you tell him he can count on you when need be; anywhere, any place, any time - and then be reciprocated immediately. It's a way to bond like no other.

And in a way it's a rite of manhood as well - I still vividly remember the first time I docked with my dad, it meant that I had stopped being a kid and started to become a man.

I can now sort of understand the lack of comprehension; you guys have been alienated from this aspect of masculinity all your lives, and of course tainted by pop culture sensibilities and are probably a bit homosexual yourselves, so the "gay" association inevitably comes up. Maybe, if you imagine the sensations, the comfortable atmosphere and the camaraderie of doing it with your dad at first, it'll help you get acclimatized to the idea and the meaning of the act

Guess what; not everything you do with your genitals has to be sexual in nature. To get things straight (no pun intended): Gakkone was obviously joking when he called docking a "traditional greeting among bros". It's not like we whip out our dicks in the street. Docking is almost always done in the sauna. And it's not like it's a very common tradition either. (Well, unless you count frat parties and northern Finland. Yes, I'm looking at you Lapland.)

There's none of the fervour of the sexual act, for one. Just try to imagine connecting with another man on that fundamental level; you can't really describe it in words. Some people make a bit of a sauna/booze joke of it, I guess because they find it awkward and a bit embarrassing even if they want to try it, but at its best it can be a deeply solemn moment between two men. Which isn't to say that sauna and booze can't be involved, of course.

All I can do is nod my head and say "huh".

[Ben in LA]

No thanks. Besides, I'm cut.

[MacShreach]

I'm afraid it's the bit about 'doing it with Dad' that gives me the heebie-jeebies.

[amanda_s]

Noooo, surely not?

[RallyCola]

wtf?

also, i never really got docking at all...i don't see the point nor how it is pleasurable at all.

[dderek123]

Those crazy Finns. Maybe too much vodka during a long winter led to this.

[youngblood61]

NO Thanks!

[ronaldo73]

No lot of vodka! but really long winter here I don`t no what is this "TELAKOITUMINEN" mean? Im finish guy

[nysprod]

This is interesting when you take a step back to observe it objectively, the fact that we're interested in sexual practices we understand are not generally accepted but find a male-bonding ritual that uses the penis in a non-sexual way to be somewhat objectionable.

[RallyCola]

This is interesting when you take a step back to observe it objectively, the fact that we're interested in sexual practices we understand are not generally accepted but find a male-bonding ritual that uses the penis in a non-sexual way to be somewhat objectionable.

i see your point, but at issue is how can this be considered male bonding?

i take no issue with ethnocentrism here because that's just an odd way to bond. it would be interesting to know how this really came about.