Where Do You Place On The Scale?

[BeardedOne]

So, I was having lunch with a friend today and we got to discussing 'the biz' and the market and break points in pricing, etc. Essentially, the two-martini lunch which I may yet find a way to write off my taxes.

She was telling me that there are a lot of guys who have no loyalty whatsoever to a provider and will haggle and, for lack of better reference, dick around and waste time and energy just because (In her words) they are too lazy to jack themselves off.

I pointed out that there are those that have regular clientele that are decent guys that treat them well and have a certain respect not just for them, but for what they do and what they have to go through each day.

After some thought, I explained the ladder of clientele that most guys fall into:

The Player:

These guys are the type that cruise Craigs List and nothing else, because they can't handle the expense of the higher end providers. The ones that negotiate fifteen-minute rates and could care less about who they are with so long as there is a warm, wet hole involved. They rarely, if ever, visit the same provider twice.

The Hobbyist:

'Hobbyist' isn't exactly the word I'd choose, but it seems to satisfy the general discussion here on the boards. They tend to be more polite, less confrontational guys that are as interested in who they are with as much as what they are doing with/to them. While they admire the vast menu of providers, they are more likely to attach themselves to one or two and see them regularly.

The Boyfriend:

This would be the type of guy that endears himself to a provider and who comes to visit with her often. Their business relationship migrates out of the bedroom and they tend to get on well as friends in a sort of FWB kind of relationship (Not failing to recognize that some benefits come with a price). There are lunches and dinners, walks in the park, etc. Perhaps the definition of 'girlfriend experience'.

The Husband:

A unique and nearly extinct animal, they are rarely seen in the wild. They will often climb the ladder from 'Hobbyist' though, on occasion, they land full-on out of the blue. These are the guys that get labeled 'The One' and 'My Guy'. Their arrival on the scene is frequently a sign that our gurl is about to fade into a happy sunset. Suburban home, Mercedes in the driveway, two-point-three kids, two cats in the yard, and so on.


I see myself as alternating between 'Hobbyist' and 'Boyfriend', depending on the individual involved. I try to be polite, clean, and respectful and though I do see a handful of gurls over time, I don't exactly 'whore around', as it were. I'm not aggressive or confrontational and I think of myself as a good listener (The latter, primarily, because these women have some incredible stories to tell). I'm as likely to spend my time with them just sitting at a bar for drinks or having a relaxing dinner (Though, there was that one time when the gloves and lube came out).

I don't really think of myself as 'Husband' material, and not just because I haven't met the right gurl. I'm so mentally and emotionally damaged from prior 'relationships' that I don't think I could ever bring my A game to the field. So, I play the dates as a 'Hobbyist' and try to live up to being a 'Boyfriend' and hope that everyone has a nice time.

So, here we are. I'm curious to see what others think of this, where they envision themselves, and what the women on the boards think. Any thoughts on these observations? Would you suggest any other steps along the ladder?

Discuss.

[RallyCola]

your categories are incomplete.

i see the same providers more than once when warranted, pay for girls i find worth it (not $1500 for 30 min but within reason), but see as many different escorts as possible because i like variety. i have no more respect for an escort than i do my waiter or my valet. all of these people are are providing a service and being compensated for it. i expect at least an hour of service or more and expect an attentive escort that can provide a romantic GFE.

i have no emotional attachment to any woman i pay for sex so where does that leave me.

methinks you will say player, but by your descriptions above, that i'm wealthy enough to pay for top escorts and as I don't negotiate, I'm not a player.

[Ecstatic]

What you call player may be closer to chaser. Someone can be a player at any level: into the game, but not into the person and regardless of cost of entry.

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

I used to be husband material, but after lots of women playing games I have become nothing more than a chaser, but I don't lie or cheat or not care about others feelings. I just want sex now.

I think most GGs and/or TGs would think that 100% of the guys out there are chasers with little to no evidence but whatever they create in their own minds.

[nysprod]

your categories are incomplete.

i see the same providers more than once when warranted, pay for girls i find worth it (not $1500 for 30 min but within reason), but see as many different escorts as possible because i like variety. i have no more respect for an escort than i do my waiter or my valet. all of these people are are providing a service and being compensated for it. i expect at least an hour of service or more and expect an attentive escort that can provide a romantic GFE.

i have no emotional attachment to any woman i pay for sex so where does that leave me.

methinks you will say player, but by your descriptions above, that i'm wealthy enough to pay for top escorts and as I don't negotiate, I'm not a player.

Pardon my asking, but didn't you once say you were married, an assistant professor and then were like whoopee because you were getting a few more sheckels every 2 weeks??

[dabaldone]

Wow, just wow. You make the unbelievable assumption that all trans women are escorts prostitutes. You also make the assumption that all men are nothing but tricks. Okay

[LongTom101]

hobbyist

[MacShreach]

your categories are incomplete.



i have no emotional attachment to any woman i pay for sex

Absolutely. A business relationship is just that. I'm not doing it any more but when I was, there was no way I'd have seen the same girl again and again; in fact my rule was, 'never more than twice'. It totally defeats the point, which is to sample as much variety in as short a time as possible with no emotional attachments and least risk of wasting money and effort.

If for some unfortunate reason I am ever back in the p4p market then it will be the same.

FWIW I never negotiated, was always super polite and considerate, tried to ensure the girl enjoyed herself and tipped well for good efforts. I was probably a hobbyist. I would never under any circumstances become attached to a working 'provider', although someone who had previously been one and retired, fine; I have no issue with sex work, I just don't confuse it with romance or commitment.

[MacShreach]

Wow, just wow. You make the unbelievable assumption that all trans women are escorts prostitutes. You also make the assumption that all men are nothing but tricks. Okay

Possibly ought to add to my previous: I am in a relationship with a transwoman who is not a sex worker, and I did not meet her through that. It's no harder to have a meaningful relationship with a transwoman than any other kind of woman. You just have to have needs that are compatible.

[dderek123]

Isn't it possible that an escort could manipulate you into feeling that you belong in a certain category? Furthermore, the category they pick for you could be based on how profitable it would be for her to keep seeing you once the fantasy relationship is established.

Not saying all escorts are like that. Its never happened to me. My last two girlfriends are TS and I was really happy with them for the most part.