View Poll Results: Am I a dumbass or a ninja?

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  • You're totally an awesome ass ninja, now break into MY backdoor.

    15 71.43%
  • Yeah, you're a dumbass.

    6 28.57%
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  1. #1
    Senior Member Junior Poster Amy Gray's Avatar
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    Default Ninja or Dumbass?

    So, I have a horrible short term memory... like embarrassingly bad. Anyways, I have a history or locking myself out coughonceaweekcough and so I started carrying lock picks in my purse a couple months back. Now, you'd think it'd be easier to keep a spare key in my bag or somewhere around my house but no, my answer was lock picks.

    Anyways, I'm walking out to my car today and go to open the door when I realize I... you probably guessed it. I get annoyed because it's sweatier than Wendy Summer's taint out here and that's when I remember that this is why I carried the picks in the first place. I go back to the lock and it takes me all of 4 seconds to pick my front door (I timed it on the iphone). Now I'm not sure whether I should feel like a ninja for breaking into my house, a dumbass for having to break into my house in the first place, or scared because I have such a crappy lock on my front door. I'm just going to go with ninja for my own ego.



  2. #2
    Platinum Poster robertlouis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ninja or Dumbass?

    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Gray View Post
    So, I have a horrible short term memory... like embarrassingly bad. Anyways, I have a history or locking myself out coughonceaweekcough and so I started carrying lock picks in my purse a couple months back. Now, you'd think it'd be easier to keep a spare key in my bag or somewhere around my house but no, my answer was lock picks.

    Anyways, I'm walking out to my car today and go to open the door when I realize I... you probably guessed it. I get annoyed because it's sweatier than Wendy Summer's taint out here and that's when I remember that this is why I carried the picks in the first place. I go back to the lock and it takes me all of 4 seconds to pick my front door (I timed it on the iphone). Now I'm not sure whether I should feel like a ninja for breaking into my house, a dumbass for having to break into my house in the first place, or scared because I have such a crappy lock on my front door. I'm just going to go with ninja for my own ego.

    I'd go with the crappy lock theory, Amy, regardless of your undoubted talents as a transsexual Raffles. I mean, how safe do you really feel now that you've done it?

    You can still feel like a ninja by all means, but change the lock nevertheless.


    Shit, I've just given Amy Gray a sensible reply for once.

    *Battens down for the inevitable shitstorm*


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    But pleasures are like poppies spread
    You seize the flow'r, the bloom is shed

  3. #3
    Senior Member Platinum Poster Prospero's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ninja or Dumbass?

    Yep - bad lock Ms Ninja



  4. #4
    Senior Member Junior Poster Amy Gray's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ninja or Dumbass?

    Quote Originally Posted by robertlouis View Post
    I'd go with the crappy lock theory, Amy, regardless of your undoubted talents as a transsexual Raffles. I mean, how safe do you really feel now that you've done it?

    You can still feel like a ninja by all means, but change the lock nevertheless.


    Shit, I've just given Amy Gray a sensible reply for once.

    *Battens down for the inevitable shitstorm*
    I'm not sure a new lock is going to fix the issue. Trust me, you'd be surprised how easy it is to pick house locks. They're meant as more of a suggestion that people not break into your houses than a actual deterrent. Most commercial locks can be opened with bump keys which is just sad.



  5. #5
    Platinum Poster robertlouis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ninja or Dumbass?

    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Gray View Post
    I'm not sure a new lock is going to fix the issue. Trust me, you'd be surprised how easy it is to pick house locks. They're meant as more of a suggestion that people not break into your houses than a actual deterrent. Most commercial locks can be opened with bump keys which is just sad.


    I've got a six tumbler deadlock on my house, which is overkill, as I live in a very low crime area. Villages tend to be, whatever ideas Midsomer Murders might give you.


    But pleasures are like poppies spread
    You seize the flow'r, the bloom is shed

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Ninja or Dumbass?

    "Trust me, you'd be surprised how easy it is to pick house locks. They're meant as more of a suggestion that people not break into your houses than a actual deterrent"

    That might be your answer. You can never be absolutely secure. If the perps come in, kick them in the balls, and rub Wendy Summers sweaty panties in their eyes to blind them.



  7. #7
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    Default Re: Ninja or Dumbass?

    Oh yeah I forgot. Totally ninja.



  8. #8
    Platinum Poster robertlouis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ninja or Dumbass?

    Quote Originally Posted by broncofan View Post
    "Trust me, you'd be surprised how easy it is to pick house locks. They're meant as more of a suggestion that people not break into your houses than a actual deterrent"

    That might be your answer. You can never be absolutely secure. If the perps come in, kick them in the balls, and rub Wendy Summers sweaty panties in their eyes to blind them.


    Amy's not that tall. She could probably bite them in the balls.

    At least nobody's suggested yet, heaven forfend, that you get a gun. But it'll come.....


    But pleasures are like poppies spread
    You seize the flow'r, the bloom is shed

  9. #9
    Senior Member Junior Poster Amy Gray's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ninja or Dumbass?

    Quote Originally Posted by robertlouis View Post
    I've got a six tumbler deadlock on my house, which is overkill, as I live in a very low crime area. Villages tend to be, whatever ideas Midsomer Murders might give you.
    My front door lock is a 7 pin Schlage lock with a 7 pin deadbolt. What brand is your lock?

    By the way, I'm packing my bag as we speak...


    Last edited by Amy Gray; 07-26-2013 at 09:05 PM.

  10. #10
    Platinum Poster robertlouis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ninja or Dumbass?

    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Gray View Post
    My front door lock is a 7 pin Schlage lock with a 7 pin deadbolt. What brand is your lock? I'm packing my bag as we speak...

    Yale.

    And if you're coming I'm changing the sheets, heading to Boots for some lube and, given your predilection for garages, an industrial sized drum of swarfega.

    To say nothing of the egg whisk, the flying helmet and the tin of molasses.....


    But pleasures are like poppies spread
    You seize the flow'r, the bloom is shed

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