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07-04-2013 #1
Online Support for Crossdressers and their Wives
Greetings,
Can anyone recommend some good online resources for Crossdressers and the Wives of Crossdressers? My wife is having a hard time getting her head around the whole concept of crossdressing, and I would like to find some professional, knowledgeable websites that will help explain the phenomena to her. The best I have found so far is:
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sexandrel...svesticism.htm
However, it is not very extensive. Is there a forum where she can talk to other wives?
I haven't dressed in almost 10 years, and want to start again, but the wife is VERY uncomfortable with it. I'm hoping more information about crossdressing might alleviate her fears.
Thank you in advance!
The Commander
DIA
PS: This is me about 10 years ago.
And this is from about 15 years ago.
2 out of 2 members liked this post.
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07-04-2013 #2
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Posts
- 3,113
Re: Online Support for Crossdressers and their Wives
hrm... you don't look much like a commander
anyhoo- i googled around for you and found http://crossdressersociety.com/ and http://www.crossdresserswives.com/
hope that helps. doot doo
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07-04-2013 #3
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
- Posts
- 7,916
Re: Online Support for Crossdressers and their Wives
Commander, you looked outstanding as a woman.
What's difficult about this is that there's a category of crossdressers who are almost all completely heterosexual. In fact, they crossdress not because they're homosexuals, but because in a way, they are too hetero! It's a kind of extreme appreciation for femininity, such an appreciation that it falls into impression and imitation. Maybe should you also try to search (and I will for you if I have the opportunity) in psychology books or encyclopedia; usually, you see crossdressing often described in such terms, which might make it more acceptable to a woman.
One more thing that could help, would be to present to your wife statistics on the extreme variety of sexual expressions in society. People have very diversified sex lives. It might be a good argument to present her with.
I would also suggest to you to try to explore with her, if you haven't done it, the world of role play. Invite her to open up. Listen to what might come out of her in such discussions. If she has some fantasies, it could be a good starting point to build on. For instance, starting to crossdress toghether but in a funny way, in costumes, I don't know. In other words, rather than trying to convince her of what you do, involving her with what she might be in for...
Last edited by danthepoetman; 07-04-2013 at 12:57 PM.
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07-04-2013 #4
Re: Online Support for Crossdressers and their Wives
Autogynephilia, lit: attraction to oneself as a woman. Very well observed and described phenomenon and one of Blanchard's 2 putative 'causes' of transsex. I think I may have made a blog post about it
Seriously though, AG is not an easy thing for cis-women, especially those in an LTR where they had no prior knowledge, to deal with.
1 out of 1 members liked this post.
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07-04-2013 #5
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
- Posts
- 7,916
Re: Online Support for Crossdressers and their Wives
Yes, absolutely, Mac! Thank you!
Indeed, Commander, searching MacShreach's blog on this wouldn't be a bad idea at all, and also as he's saying, going to Blanchard's description, googling it.
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07-04-2013 #6
- Join Date
- Nov 2004
- Posts
- 1,387
Re: Online Support for Crossdressers and their Wives
I would have given early to mid-90's commander the BBC.
2 out of 2 members liked this post.
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07-04-2013 #7
Re: Online Support for Crossdressers and their Wives
I think you may need to find a marriage counselor or gender specialist.
You are/were very accomplished at crossdressing, indicating more than just a fetish or playing dress up for kicks, and I don't see how an online resource will put her concerns at ease.
You should be concerned about using "random" wives of random crossdressers as a resource to point your wife towards.
3 out of 3 members liked this post.
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07-04-2013 #8
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Posts
- 4,842
Re: Online Support for Crossdressers and their Wives
Beaumont Society:
http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/He...s/Partners.htm
1 out of 1 members liked this post.
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07-04-2013 #9
Re: Online Support for Crossdressers and their Wives
I'm going to take a wild stab at this and reckon that the Commander is just over 40. There is a rule-of-thumb that AG transsexuals present at 42-44 plus 2-3 years for every child after the first. The reasoning is that these transwomen will remain men until their children are independent. It's not scientific, and you therefore have to treat it with caution, but it certainly is backed up by the numbers, and it fits with the pics posted.
A lot depends on the level of gender dysphoric pressure that that you are feeling (I'm talking to the Commander here ). If this is ramping up quickly then you may have to take action--you may have no choice. If it is low-level and manageable, then well and good. You would have time. (AGs frequently report a 'dam-burst' scenario--they have been resisting for years and then wallop, everything changes with frightening rapidity.) You need to be ready for this possibility. That might include that in 12-18 months you could be living f/t as a woman. I know it may sound radical but you would certainly not be the first.
As you have identified, a priority for you is to get your wife and family (kids if you have them) onside. YOU WILL LOSE SOME OF THEM, at least for a while. Be ready for that. You obviously love your wife, but you must realise that she may not be able to deal with what might effectively become a lesbian relationship--even if only part-time. However, women do appear to be better at this sort of thing than men.
I don't know where you are but my gut says you're English and living in England. If that's the case then you have access to a free care service, so you should discuss this with your GP and request a referral to a gender specialist, who can also talk to your wife. I know some GP's are a bit stuck in the mud but push. You may find talking to him/her challenging but this is a good thing. Plan in advance what you want to say. Just talking with someone distanced from the family unit will help get your situation in perspective.
If you just needed to dress, I'd say just do so, but it actually sounds like you're further aloing than that. You not only want to dress, but to have your family accept your transgender persona. That's actually a very big step. You've also, clearly, discussed this with your wife with a view to her accepting it--most low-level dysphoric AG crossdressers never get that far, they keep it a secret.
Both of these things suggest to me that you are in need of support and may (possibly) be moving towards transition. I will look through my notes--I did have links to relevant support networks and will see if I can find them for you. In the meantime you should write down, for yourself, not for any of us, a simple outline of where you see yourself being in five years, and in ten-fifteen years. Be honest and don't pull any punches (no point, the only person gonna see it is you) but don't go fantasy break-time either, be practical. Make these sketches broad--cover marriage, family, career. This will hlp you to focus your thoughts and if you are entering a 'dam-burst' phase you'll need all that.
You were able to be a very passable and attractive woman when you were younger. Be positive about the future. The likelihood is that you can manage this on a part-time basis, so don't get too concerned.
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07-04-2013 #10
Re: Online Support for Crossdressers and their Wives
TRIESS
http://www.tri-ess.org/docs/Wives_CDs_BofR.html
http://www.tri-ess.org/
http://www.crossdressers.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of..._organizations
THE MARRIED CROSSDRESSER
http://www.cdspub.com/cope02.html
My Husband Wears My Clothes
television presented Secret Lives of Women Married to Crossdressers. This is the story of Melanie, a married, heterosexual crossdresser and wife.
1 out of 1 members liked this post.Last edited by natina; 07-04-2013 at 11:21 PM.
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