PASSABLE GIRLS!! IS IT FAIR?

[RawNY]

Yasmin,
I recall having these discussions with friends, TG and males after the movie The Crying Game was released. The same issues arose. I thnk that your young friend needs to come to terms with himself and then come to terms with his relationship with his family. I have been bisexual for years, Comming out to yourself is usually more difficult than telling your loved ones.
He has choices to make, I hope he makes the right ones, but I hope for both of you, he makes them soon.
P.S. I hope you don tmind if I cut and pasted my face over his, some guys just have to dream

[starshine_tara]

Tara, thank you for sharing a bit of your story. You look very nice in your avatar. Congrats for being strong and going forward with the difficulties you face, and kudos to your boyfriend for standing by you so strong. Dude's all right in my book.

Thanks Ecstatic hun!

Yea! He sure is a sweetie!

Tara xxx

[TrueBeauty TS]

Hiya!


I have been referred for SRS - but frankly I am thinking of working on my visual appearance until I am treated as the woman that I feel that I am, in my day to day life, before I take that step. Maybe passability is a dream that not everyone can achieve? Maybe I'll be chasing it forever?

Tara xxx

Whoa! I let rip there with my first post didn't I?!

I hope that my perspective is worth something here...even though I'm not a porn star.

Hi Tara,

Congratulations. On both your living full time and finding a love. From your pic, I don't see how passing would be a problem for you at all, and even if you feel it is, give yourself a break, 4 years isn't that long in the big scheme of things.

To *some* extent, passing can be a state of mind. Yes, if somebody calls you a dude, then it's hard to ignore, but also, the more you relax and become comfortble with yourself, the more you will find that you are passing more and people will feel more comfortable around you. Although... just to contradict myself, every TS I've ever known, no matter HOW beautiful, will feel insecure at times. It's natural sometimes. As long as that doesn't become all-consuming, don't worry about it.

BTW, would you care to share how you and your BF met? It might help others looking for a relationship.

[TrueBeauty TS]

IM SO CONFUSE WITH MY BF RIGHT NOW. WE CARE FOR EACH OTHER REALLY MUCH BUT I FEEL LIKE I'M MISSING SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF HIM..HIS FAMILY. HE'S ALWYS WITH THEM..STILL LIVE AT HOME..AND I'M FIGHTING JUST TO SPEND SOME TIMES WITH HIM..HIS MOTHER IS GOING CRZY AS TO WHO I AM AND WHY HER SON IS NOT BRINGING HER HOMN.. TO HER.. I'M SOMEONE THAT'S KEEPING HER SON AWY FROM FAMILY.....HE'S JUST NOT READY FOR HIS FAMILY TO KNOW..HOWEVER..I FEEL THAT IN ORDER FOR US TO MOVE FORWARD, HE SHOULD LET THEM KNOW....I DON'T WANNA LOOSE HIM BUT I FIND MYSELF LOOKING AT OTHER GUYS NOW..... IS THAT WRONG?

Yasmin,

I don't think he needs to announce to his family that you are a TS. But he SHOULD announce that you are his GF. He should be willing to take you to his family's place and join in with family activities if he is your BF.

If, for whatever reason, they suspect something, or say something down the line wondering if you are a TS, then he needs to be man enough to stick up for you.

It's not the family's business to know what's between your legs, but it IS your BF's business to stand up for you and be proud of you as his GF.


Love you girl,

[Trogdor]

IM SO CONFUSE WITH MY BF RIGHT NOW. WE CARE FOR EACH OTHER REALLY MUCH BUT I FEEL LIKE I'M MISSING SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF HIM..HIS FAMILY. HE'S ALWYS WITH THEM..STILL LIVE AT HOME..AND I'M FIGHTING JUST TO SPEND SOME TIMES WITH HIM..HIS MOTHER IS GOING CRZY AS TO WHO I AM AND WHY HER SON IS NOT BRINGING HER HOMN.. TO HER.. I'M SOMEONE THAT'S KEEPING HER SON AWY FROM FAMILY.....HE'S JUST NOT READY FOR HIS FAMILY TO KNOW..HOWEVER..I FEEL THAT IN ORDER FOR US TO MOVE FORWARD, HE SHOULD LET THEM KNOW....I DON'T WANNA LOOSE HIM BUT I FIND MYSELF LOOKING AT OTHER GUYS NOW..... IS THAT WRONG?

Yasmin,

I don't think he needs to announce to his family that you are a TS. But he SHOULD announce that you are his GF. He should be willing to take you to his family's place and join in with family activities if he is your BF.

If, for whatever reason, they suspect something, or say something down the line wondering if you are a TS, then he needs to be man enough to stick up for you.

It's not the family's business to know what's between your legs, but it IS your BF's business to stand up for you and be proud of you as his GF.


Love you girl,

Yea, personally, I think he outta just take you to his family, Yasmin and say, "This is my girl, Yasmin. " now mentioning you are a TS or not is none of the family's business, if they ask if you are, then he should tell them, if not, it's none of their business.

And that guy you are with is one fucking lucky son of a bitch, Yasmin.

Excuse me while I go find a window to jump out of :P

[starshine_tara]

Hi True Beauty!

I met my man on http://www.tgpersonals.com/

We had to travel between cities for the first year or so - which was cool coz we both ride fast bikes. It was kinda exiting too!

Thanks for the tips on state of mind, hun.

I have to admit that I am kinda lazy in my presentation at times.

My voice remains the wrong side of husky and sometimes I even wonder if I come across like one of those Goa'ould chicks on Stargate SG1!

*hugs*

Maybe you professional girls could give me some tips?

Tara xxx

[ptyseminole]

cool tatoos Tara.

[starshine_tara]

cool tatoos Tara.

Thanks hun!

I'm currently getting the forearm one reworked into a sleeve...I guess I'm a bit of an alternative chick!

Tara xxx

[scipio]

I have given this a little bit of thought.

For a male, it depends on how you want to live your life. By that I mean, do you want an honest life or not?
If you are serious about being into TS, or one in particular, then you want to share your life with that person. If you don't, then that's the fast answer for the Girl - no it's not for real. If you do, though, then you should want your family to know her.

If your family hates you for it, then maybe you should take stock of your OWN values - what is important to you?

Unless the family are raging bigots, it seems like you can normally bring them around, and then bring your girl into the family, so to speak.

If a guy just can't bring himself to do this, then in my opinion he's just not ready.

There's also the factor of respect. A guy who doesn't want the girl to share his whole life doesn't respect her - and on the flip side, how can she respect him?

On the issue of passability, I will say this: From the girls I've known and do know, they want to be a woman, want to be accepted as a woman. From that standpoint passability is important to them, which is understandable. In fact, in my experience it was often more important to them that it was to me. OK, I didn't go out with someone who was incredibly easily identified as a TS, but it was never THAT much of an issue to me - it's about the person, and only about their looks inasmuch as their looks are a reflection of themself (but it isn't the PERSON).

Forgive me for using a crude example, but when you have sex and you've cum and your coming down, do you look at the person and fell some regret (I've been guilty once or twice myself) for what you've done - even the thought "that just wasn't worth it" or do you still feel you WANT to be connected to the person beyond that?

I think if the guy can HONESTLY answer that to himself and his girl, then you know.

Don't mean to offend anyone, so I hope I haven't generalized too much here, it's just my reflections on it based on a little bit of experience.

[AllanahStarrNYC]

i dont understand?

yasmeen looks like a woman to me.
darling- some men are weird about introducing women to their families- gg ot ts.

if he is afraid to introduce u to his family because he is insecure about u as a ts and they might find out- then i would say there is danger ahead.

you are too pretty, too young, and a good person to have someone treat you like you are not worth of the same privaleges as a gg girl.

why should u even have to say your a ts? why would they know what is in between your legs? do YOU need them to know and why so?

a few years back- i met a man who was totally confortable with me as a woman. he didnt even think of me as a ts-meaning he knew what i was, but in his eyes he respected and treated me as a woman. i was simply his girlfriend. i met his whole family and the issue never came up. they might of figured it out, but they respected him enough to never say anything. he was confident with himself , who i was, and our relationship. that's long been over and he is married now. he was the only man in my life that i knew ever loved me for me- until recently.

it's extremely hard to find someone who loves you without conditions.

you should not settle or not underestimate your self worth because someone else has issues.

i hope it works out- but be prepared to do the work.