To the girls here:

[sweetts18]

What do you do, and how do you handle the nihilistic desire to do whatever it takes to overcome the pain and self-hate? ...I'm a part-timer that's ALWAYS wanted to go full time, but I don't think I can (6'2" ...built like a linebacker... family is a bunch of bible thumpers. ...pics around here somewhere in the amateur thread...) ...anyway... staying away from the passive-aggressive bullshit... I tend to drink/smoke too much... how do you full time girls handle the inevitable self doubt, self hate, angst, and stress of being who you want to be? ...some kind of outlet or ritual?

[sophiebendable]

From my experience, I think the feelings of self-loathing you're experiencing stem from being part-time and would only get better if you were to transition and probably really quickly. However, I am absolutely not saying you would feel better in general. I feel much better about myself, but much worse about my life. This is entirely because of external factors, mostly financial. It's difficult to understand quite how disadvantaged women in general and trans women in particular are until you've experienced it. In fact, I think the only thing that gets me through that adversity is how great I feel about who I am now and the fact that I've made that happen for myself when I previously considered it impossible.

[Jamie French]

Wow. You are totally broken. Seriously... if the post is real, just go ahead and eat a bullet. Not everyone is cut out for living.
Very few of us are full of self hatred or whatever the hell you're talking about... that was a wildly broad assumption made by someone so self obsessed that they don't even realize how heavily they are projecting. Or you're a troll. Probably a troll. No one comes to a porn forum for therapeutic advice. Go die.

[TSLexi]

Wow. You are totally broken. Seriously... if the post is real, just go ahead and eat a bullet. Not everyone is cut out for living.
Very few of us are full of self hatred or whatever the hell you're talking about... that was a wildly broad assumption made by someone so self obsessed that they don't even realize how heavily they are projecting. Or you're a troll. Probably a troll. No one comes to a porn forum for therapeutic advice. Go die.

Yeah, there's trans forums for that. I go to those when I want to cry on someone's shoulder. This is a TS porn forum, and where I hang out and party. It's meant for sex and fun, not psychotherapy.

[bluesoul]

*ahem* let's not forget this is a sanctuary for the chasers as well when they're not out in the field

[Ms.Stepford]

I'm pretty much just a supernatural entity these days, so I really don't have to worry about that sort of thing anymore, I guess.

Fuckin thank the gods.

[MrsKellyPierce]

I think any girl that's really a transsexual deals with all the BS just to be happy...

In my opinion you are brave to keep living your life not as yourself...

It's much easier just to be yourself...

[TempestTS]

What do you do, and how do you handle the nihilistic desire to do whatever it takes to overcome the pain and self-hate? ...I'm a part-timer that's ALWAYS wanted to go full time, but I don't think I can (6'2" ...built like a linebacker... family is a bunch of bible thumpers. ...pics around here somewhere in the amateur thread...) ...anyway... staying away from the passive-aggressive bullshit... I tend to drink/smoke too much... how do you full time girls handle the inevitable self doubt, self hate, angst, and stress of being who you want to be? ...some kind of outlet or ritual?

My only pain came from living a lie which was imprinted upon me by society and its binary expectation of male and female. Once I trancended that I have never looked back and have absolutely no regrets other than I wish I had actualized my self realization sooner.

Being yourself is the most empowering experience you can have - but you have to be willing to let go of everything if you want to step over that edge - honestly you dont need those that dont love you for exactly who you are - they only hold you back.

Everyone has their own path - mine is not yours - there are those among us that might help give some general directions but the the exact route for you is something you will discover is unique to yourself and there is beauty in the journey.

[sweetts18]

Thank you to those of you that have given genuine answers, and a big fuck you to people that suggest things like "eat a bullet"... I realize that yes, this is a porn forum... and that's why I specifically addressed it to the women here... because, like it or not, almost all of us start out where I am, and substance/alcohol abuse and depression are pretty common for a lot of people who are struggling with this. I thought there might be some answers, and those among you that aren't heartless have been helpful. Thanks

[Janna_b]

You are going to have to get to a point in your life where the pain of not being who you truly are is greater then the fear of what family and friends and society are going to say about you. Until you reach that point where you are ready to walk over that edge without a safety net you truly will never know what your true identity is and maybe it's more of a fetish then it is your true identity.

Is it easy? No. Have I lost friends and potential boyfriends? Yes...but so have other women who have gone before me and will go after me, but I can tell you the peace I feel inside as I look in the mirror and see who I truly am far outweighs the fear and sadness of me living a lie had I never fully transitioned.

The confidence and lack of self hate comes with living your life as who you truly are and coming to grips with the only opinion that truly matters is your own.