Fantasy vs. Reality

[Pitmasta]

So I am faced with a problem: I love the idea of sex with a trans girl, the idea of being with a woman with a penis is INCREDIBLY arousing to me. I think I'd probably qualify as a switch, given that the idea of being topped by her, giving oral, being penetrated are awesome. But so too is the idea of receiving oral, and being inside her, it's also super arousing for me.



But on every occasion that I've had the chance to engage in the experience itself, it's been pretty much the worst thing in the world. It's been awkward and not sexy, at all. Even when it's been a girl that I was dating and there was emotional attraction to one another, we'd start off with foreplay and we'd both be into it, then we'd move from there and the mechanics of it just end up taking us both out of the moment.

I've tried with a professional on multiple occasions someone who "knows how this type of thing works" and it's just not there. Now sometimes, in all honesty, it's the provider (rubbing up against 5 o'clock shadow really breaks the mood) but other times, I get there, and we get started, and nothing happens.

It's not that I want to be with a man (aside from the obvious part that "negates" the previous sentence) I don't find traps or cross dressers, part time women, whatever intriguing or arousing at all.

I'm still attracted to and enjoy being with cis women so I know it's not a question of an equipment malfunction. I've been pegged before and it was an amazingly erotic experience (and indeed that was kind of what led me to trying sex with a trans woman) so I think that's not the problem.

So I guess what I'm asking the community here is has anyone else ever experienced this kind of disconnect? Where the idea of the fantasy is so powerful, and then the reality falls painfully short? And, is there any way to overcome it? Am I doing something wrong? Is it a failure on my part? Anyone? Bueller?

[julierae]

Sex in general falls short of expectations. Honestly it could just be that you haven't found the right girl yet. How is sex with cis girls for you? Any bad experiences?

[Pitmasta]

I've never had a bad experience with sex with a cis female, really, it's always been great. Some of that may stem from the fact that there's no extra baggage of expectations to live up to, but my experiences with gg's have always been really fun.

[Chaos]

Perhaps that's just it....You like the IDEA but when it comes down to it you're not really ready.
The human brain can and often does play tricks on its owner.
Or it could be that you think you want something but some part of you still doesn't.
It could even be that you are going in expecting it to be bad so when the time comes,you are making it bad, unaware that you're doing it.