Any jokes?

[danthepoetman]

"Parnormal" stuff... mystery, conspiracy...

[sukumvit boy]

Time for turkey jokes.

[Dahlia Babe Ailhad]

A policeman rushes over to a car which is waiting at a red light at an intersection. In the car are two catholic priests.

The policeman sticks his head into the car says, "We're looking for a pedophile in the area."

The first priest looks at the other priest and then raises his chin as if to ask, 'What do you think?'

The other priest purses his lips slightly, closes his eyes and assuredly nods his head several times.

The first priest turns to the policeman and says, "Okay, officer. We'll do it."

[sukumvit boy]

Just saw Godzilla Eats Tokyo . Gust another a reptile dysfunction movie.

[BlüeKarma]

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the f-ck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".
The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

[EZWind]

Two rednecks having a coupla beers, discussing their teenage daughters
...Redneck A....so, what about your'n....is she sexually active?
...Redneck B....naahh, she pretty much just lays there just like her Maw

[cheesenuts]

A group of American tourists walked into a pub in Cork, Ireland.
One of them said in a loud voice,

"I hear you Irish think you're great drinkers.
I bet $5,000 that no one here can
drink 20 pints of Guinness in 30
minutes."

The bar was silent, but the American noticed one Irishman leaving.

No one took up the bet.

40 minutes later, the Irishman who
left returned and said,
"Hey Yank, is yer bet still on?"

"Sure" said the American,
"20 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of $5,000".

"Grand," replied the Irishman, "so pour the
pints and start the clock."

It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to
spare.

"OK Yank, pay up." said the Irishman.

"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American.

"But tell me, when I first offered the wager, I saw you leave. Where did you
go?"

"Well sir", replied the Irishman,

"$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the
road to see if I could do it."

[sukumvit boy]

Some funny stuff :

[hamdasl]

This car pulls up into a handicap spot with no obvious indication of being handicapped. The chap gets out and starts to walk into the shop.
A policeman confronts him about not being handicapped.
The chap says: "I've got Tourettes, you fucking cunt!!"

[Lovecox]

So I show up and she says she wants to blow Clouds.
I said, "I don't know who Clouds is, but until he gets here why don't you blow me?"