Why are many admirers flaky?

[sophiebendable]

That has been my experience, lol. Many seem to be more into guys who are not into trannies instead of the guys who are.

Um, any man who is dating us is by definition "into trannies." If you want to understand the phenomena you're describing, perhaps you should examine some of the negative stereotypes surrounding admirers and how these behaviors (like the one being discussed in this thread) might affect us. I think the women you are referring to are basically thinking, "Gee, I wish most of the men who are into me could just act like regular guys and not treat me like crap most of the time because I'm trans."

[MsDazzler]

That has been my experience, lol. Many seem to be more into guys who are not into trannies instead of the guys who are.

Exactly - I can just feel the difference in the vibe, actions, etc from guys who were into me because I am trans, and guys who were into me because I was a woman.

[nysprod]

Um, any man who is dating us is by definition "into trannies." If you want to understand the phenomena you're describing, perhaps you should examine some of the negative stereotypes surrounding admirers and how these behaviors (like the one being discussed in this thread) might affect us. I think the women you are referring to are basically thinking, "Gee, I wish most of the men who are into me could just act like regular guys and not treat me like crap most of the time because I'm trans."

Let me ask you something...you started this thread, you make it sound like guys like me are a bunch of wackos, and then there you are running an ad on the forum looking for a sugardaddy...so I think that in order to fully explore your topic, I would say that putting you into the conversation of who is flaky would seem to make sense...

[sophiebendable]

Let me ask you something...you started this thread, you make it sound like guys like me are a bunch of wackos, and then there you are running an ad on the forum looking for a sugardaddy...so I think that in order to fully explore your topic, I would say that putting you into the conversation of who is flaky would seem to make sense...

I did make clear in my original post that there are plenty of admirers who don't meet that stereotype. You can see many of them on this thread— they're the ones who, unlike you, were able to find a way to reply to me respectfully. I never said admirers were "a bunch of wackos." Sounds like that's you voicing own lousy self-image.

And I don't see at all how the fact that I'm looking for a sugar daddy makes me flaky. Flaky is a synonym for unreliable.

[Rabbiteyes]

Exactly - I can just feel the difference in the vibe, actions, etc from guys who were into me because I am trans, and guys who were into me because I was a woman.

Yea... the guys who typically approach me (because of the trans) are WAYY more perverted / forward.

Within the first conversation, 99 percent of the time they start to talk about what is in my pants...or asking what kind of sex I like.

A man approaching a woman would never talk like that (because, well, they know the woman would just block them and move on). But, because we are trans, they figure it is completely open season to jump right into the sex.

I even had a few guys tell me directly that it was so great that I was transitioning, because that meant I was embracing my desire to please men better ... wtf....

[nysprod]

I did make clear in my original post that there are plenty of admirers who don't meet that stereotype.

Lip service. Why start a negative thread at all then?

You can see many of them on this thread— they're the ones who, unlike you, were able to find a way to reply to me respectfully.

Those who want respect, give respect.

I never said admirers were "a bunch of wackos." Sounds like that's you voicing own lousy self-image.

What I said was that's the way you sound...flaky...wacko...semantics...

And I don't see at all how the fact that I'm looking for a sugar daddy makes me flaky. Flaky is a synonym for unreliable.

Lol...whatever...

[MsDazzler]

Yea... the guys who typically approach me (because of the trans) are WAYY more perverted / forward.

Within the first conversation, 99 percent of the time they start to talk about what is in my pants...or asking what kind of sex I like.

A man approaching a woman would never talk like that (because, well, they know the woman would just block them and move on). But, because we are trans, they figure it is completely open season to jump right into the sex.

I even had a few guys tell me directly that it was so great that I was transitioning, because that meant I was embracing my desire to please men better ... wtf....

Amen to that!

The conversations with men who are attracted to me because I am trans are much more sexually charged (on their part, anyway).

And ironically, even some of the men who first liked me because I was a woman then found out I was trans... the scope/shift of their conversation immediately turned to sex. FML

[canihavu]

Um, any man who is dating us is by definition "into trannies." If you want to understand the phenomena you're describing, perhaps you should examine some of the negative stereotypes surrounding admirers and how these behaviors (like the one being discussed in this thread) might affect us. I think the women you are referring to are basically thinking, "Gee, I wish most of the men who are into me could just act like regular guys and not treat me like crap most of the time because I'm trans."

I don't know what they are thinking, I am just relating my experience with said women.

[Rabbiteyes]

And ironically, even some of the men who first liked me because I was a woman then found out I was trans... the scope/shift of their conversation immediately turned to sex. FML

Lol I had that too.

Even worse actually... I had guys I was chatting to professionally (colleagues) who were just talking about work and being decent normal people (when they thought I was a woman)... but when I revealed I was actually trans, suddenly it was sex.

That is the number one issue with guys... if they don't treat me with respect (which means acting like a decent normal human being for a while), they never see me.

I'm a professional. A business degree, highly trained artist, I own my company... how does any guy get the idea they could talk to me like that out of the blue just because I'm trans? Hellll no. Especially not from some guy working as a waiter or barely making rent ~_~

[stallion79]

I've flaked out on a few people in the past and I've had people flake out on me as well. It has worked both ways in my own life. The reasons why I've flaked are various, and include not yet being ready for a relationship or being too afraid to get into a relationship. I'm sure I've missed out on some good times, maybe some heartbreak too. I don't know.

Back in 2009, I had been seeing a very attractive young lady. She was Puerto Rican and very vivacious and fun to be around. We had met up a few times and had a few good dates, but when we were finally ready to be "exclusive" I flaked out of the relationship. I have been regularly dating t-girls for the better part of a decade, and I still don't know why I flaked out of that relationship. Maybe things happened too fast for me, or maybe I just wasn't ready to settle down. I don't know. It's a regret that I have that I must live with. I'm left to wonder about what might have been.

On the converse, I remember a very pretty young thing (a rather Dita-like young woman) flaked out on me, and that hurt me pretty badly. I was still a pretty young guy, and I have always been willing to be seen in public with a transgender gf, so I don't know exactly what I did wrong. Maybe she wasn't in the right frame of mind. Maybe I disrespected her somehow or I wasn't treating her how she wanted to be treated. But she flaked on the relationship, and I had to deal with that.