When should I tell my family my girlfriend is transsexual.

[Quiet Reflections]

lost in this is a simple sentiment....

how can you really say you love a person if you are embarrassed or so worry about how everyone else will treat you for loving them?

as i said 2 pages ago...you should talk to your GF and find out when she is ready and what your concerns are. as a couple, you determine the course of action if one is needed. short of that, you are being selfish just considering what will happen to you and your family. being selfish is fine...but to me, a truly loving and mutually beneficial relationship is one there you are more attentive to your lover than your own needs and vice versa

well said

[GrimFusion]

lost in this is a simple sentiment....

how can you really say you love a person if you are embarrassed or so worry about how everyone else will treat you for loving them?

as i said 2 pages ago...you should talk to your GF and find out when she is ready and what your concerns are. as a couple, you determine the course of action if one is needed. short of that, you are being selfish just considering what will happen to you and your family. being selfish is fine...but to me, a truly loving and mutually beneficial relationship is one there you are more attentive to your lover than your own needs and vice versa

A bit of the ol' "Do as I say and not as I do" routine, eh Rally?
The message sounds a-ok, but it's coming from the wrong person.

[RallyCola]

A bit of the ol' "Do as I say and not as I do" routine, eh Rally?
The message sounds a-ok, but it's coming from the wrong person.

while i'd love to explore why you think i'm saying "do as i say, not as i do" and why i am the wrong person so say it...this thread isn't about me.

[GrimFusion]

while i'd love to explore why you think i'm saying "do as i say, not as i do" and why i am the wrong person so say it...this thread isn't about me.

At least you're trying to help.

[RallyCola]

At least you're trying to help.

you don't make any sense sometimes man...lay off the weed for a day or 2.

[Fancy fancy]

yes elocution lessons

That is so true..lol Is there anything she can do to make her voice more light and feminine?

[qwerty94]

I would say wait a bit for you and your girlfriend to figure things out a bit more. I will say this... My dad would make homophobic remarks prior to me coming out as gay(way back when)- he would ask why I dance around like a fairy, and say it's an abomination, but after I came out he was much better about it- I realize that he still doesn't believe in same sex marriage, but he isn't vocal about it.

now that I came out as transexual, he was like, "ok, this doesnt mean that you're going to be lesbian now, does it?" i was like... wtf? lol.... "um, no dad... i am still very much attracted to men" and now he eventually wants to see me get married and have kids, etc

parents are special individuals who are capable of incredible things- including change. i think people say things when they don't think those issues affect them, but when they realize they actually do- it makes them have to face it head on and think.

whatever your decision, i hope it goes well for you and your gf.

[Jericho]

Before your dad hits on her...Saves all kinds of awkwardness!

[Prospero]

I would tend to go with those who say if she is "passable' then why make life difficult for you, her and your intolerant family.

You mentioned the voice - but in my experience there are plenty of very ordinary genetic girls who have husky voices. It is unlikely your family will leap to the conclusion that she is transgendred.

But you and she have many questions to address and think about before you do anything you or she will regret.

Do your family need to know? Why - if you see them so seldom? Does she want them to know? Is their attitude really so conservative that if they got to know and like her they would become rejective later on if the truth emerged?

If you truly love her and she loves you, then let her be your guide in the end. You two together in a good and strong relationship can overcome whatever adversity this difficult - but maybe also exhilarating time - has to offer.

[princesa]

there are ways to help her voice. I changed mine a LOT!

are you in Houston?