what if you learned your GF was an escort?

[betts]

transition is really expensive, i don't see how i can finance, i want to escort to be able to afford it?

how will you react?

i'd say gain some new skills, get a better job.
if she still wanted to escort, the relationship would end.

[Chaos]

Ok let me ask another question, what if you have a girlfriend, she is not escorting, but one day she say: transition is really expensive, i don't see how i can finance, i want to escort to be able to afford it?

how will you react?

Well she can escort,but I'm leaving.
There's NO discussion of other ways,there's no talk of both of us doing this for her...And a sudden switch to wanting to do something that she's never done that is as dangerous as it is....
Because nothing says I love you like not exploring ALL options and picking the most dangerous way to do what you set out to do...

[RallyCola]

i wouldn't be in a relationship with anyone with that kind of mindset

let's face it...escorting, while having some perils, a much easier job than most other people have. if i could make money for having sex, i would.

modeling and escorting is merely capitalizing on your looks...others have to capitalize on intellect...others on athletic abilities, and yet others on guile and charm. whatever it is...use what you have got to your benefit, but let's be clear...it would be rather difficult for most people to accept the mind set that you have no choice but to escort to get what you want

[betts]

it would be rather difficult for most people to accept the mind set that you have no choice but to escort to get what you want

this

[Quiet Reflections]

Ok let me ask another question, what if you have a girlfriend, she is not escorting, but one day she say: transition is really expensive, i don't see how i can finance, i want to escort to be able to afford it?

how will you react?

Offer to pay for it. If she is dead set on selling ass then she can get out.

[danthepoetman]

And while there's some dudes who can handle the fact that their lady escorts, just like there are dudes who can handle the swing scene... I believe the vast majority of them giving these deeply pensive answers about how they could deal with it, are full of shit. They've convinced themselves of something counter intuitive. I dated a stripper and that was lots of mental gymnastics and nobody was fucking her....although I'm sure the patrons were doing so in their minds !

Well, since I’m just about the only guy who’s not widely negative on the question, and whom so far has given a few of those “deeply pensive answers about how I could deal with it”, I have to suppose that I’m the one who’s so unfortunately “full of shit”, OMK… lol
I’ve been in a very long relationship which wasn’t always easy. We broke up and patched up a few times; we splitted for years at a time. It was tough and rocky at the very least. But we hung on, simply because we loved each other. I can understand why you would think my answer is “counter-intuitive” (I would be mad too), but I find that maybe it’s yours that is more dependent on rationalization rather than being based on feelings. Once again, love is not about principles. All I’m trying to do is to broaden my perspective in answering the question. I know love. If I was to really be in love with a girl who would suddenly tell me that she’s escorting, what would I do? If you love her, how can you think you would every bit as suddenly stop loving her? It doesn’t make sense: love has no "on" and "off" switch. Just because of the principle that for you, it’s not right, you would not even give the benefit of the doubt, you would not even listen to what she has to say, you would not even try to come to some terms and deal something with her? I’m sorry, I can’t personally see that. In love, I know I could not possibly do that. I'd be incapable of that.

[Ceris893]

Well it depends. If I could financially support her and myself by myself, then I'd ask her to quit. Its not that I have a problem with her having other partners, its the position it puts me in.

[Quiet Reflections]

Well, since I’m just about the only guy who’s not widely negative on the question, and whom so far has given a few of those “deeply pensive answers about how I could deal with it”, I have to suppose that I’m the one who’s so unfortunately “full of shit”, OMK… lol
I’ve been in a very long relationship which wasn’t always easy. We broke up and patched up a few times; we splitted for years at a time. It was tough and rocky at the very least. But we hung on, simply because we loved each other. I can understand why you would think my answer is “counter-intuitive” (I would be mad too), but I find that maybe it’s yours that is more dependent on rationalization rather than being based on feelings. Once again, love is not about principles. All I’m trying to do is to broaden my perspective in answering the question. I know love. If I was to really be in love with a girl who would suddenly tell me that she’s escorting, what would I do? If you love her, how can you think you would every bit as suddenly stop loving her? It doesn’t make sense: love has no "on" and "off" switch. Just because of the principle that for you, it’s not right, you would not even give the benefit of the doubt, you would not even listen to what she has to say, you would not even try to come to some terms and deal something with her? I’m sorry, I can’t personally see that. In love, I know I could not possibly do that. I'd be incapable of that.

I completely get what you are saying and In that situation I would not stop loving her but that being said we also would no longer be in a relationship. I would love her still and still be there for her in a way that would ease both our pain, but as a couple It would never happen again. Trust is huge for me and being in a loving relationship and then finding out that such a huge lie was part of it would kill me inside. That is just how betrayed I would feel from her keeping something so important from me, completely aside from the fact that something was her having sex for money. I couldn't Imagine staying with someone that would do something that effects our relationship so much without talking to me about it first. The funny thing is that the money aspect would anger me as much if not more anything else because that would be something any woman I'm with wouldn't have to worry about anyway. I would rather a girl just cheat on me without cash exchanging hands, because then at least I would know that somewhere im falling short in the relationship and not keeping her interest

[danthepoetman]

From that perspective, QuietReflections, I can understand your position. And it might be mine too. I could react exactly the same way. I don’t know. But the fact of the matter is, if you stay around and still love, there’s always place for healing and reconciliation. That’s a place I know… I guess I sometimes sound like Disney’s blue fairy, or little Tinker Bell, but what you’re saying sounds to me indeed like an authentic, normal, wounded, yet loving reaction, with all its possibilities. Because as long as there is love, there’s hope. I’m silly like that: I do believe in loving relationships.
I therefore agree with the way you reformulate things, here.