Being a “Tranny chaser” rocks!

[Tyler___Durden]

http://www.juliaserano.com/TSetiology.html#TransMarch09
The Beauty In Us
This is a speech that I gave at the Sixth Annual Trans March in San Francisco on June 26, 2009. It challenges the concepts of “tranny chasers” and “tranny fetishists” that exist in our culture (as well as within the minds of psychologists such as Ray Blanchard, although his theories are not explicitly discussed in the piece. It can be read below.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where many people view trans people as unnatural and illegitimate. And one of the most effective ways in which they try to invalidate us is by assuming that we are somehow unlovable, that no one in their right mind would find us desirable. And sadly, many of us end up believing this ourselves.

When I was a teenager and young adult, one of the things that helped keep me in the closet was the fact that I believed that if I did ever come out as wanting to be a girl, or if I were to ever physically transition to female, that others would undoubtedly see me as a freak, and nobody would want me as their partner. I worried that I would become unlovable. And you know something, I was wrong.

Sure, the majority of people in our culture are too insecure about their own masculinity or femininity to ever consider dating a trans person. But there are lots of people who aren’t that way. When I came out as a crossdresser 15 years ago, I went onto have relationships with several women who were totally cool with that aspect of my person. And since my transition 8 years ago, I have met many people, both women and men, who have expressed a sexual or romantic interest in me. For me, the problem hasn’t been finding someone who desires me, but rather finding someone whose interests coincide with what I want out of an encounter or relationship. And frankly, that is something that many people, whether trans or not, have to contend with.

This is why I get really frustrated when people automatically presume that any person who is attracted to, or has sex with, a trans person must automatically have some kind of “fetish.” This is extremely invalidating, as it insinuates that we cannot be loved or appreciated as whole people, but rather only as a “fetish objects.” Sure, there are some people who are specifically attracted to the fact that we are trans, and some of us might find that to be uncomfortable or annoying. But I have also experienced men (who were presumably unaware that I was trans) starring rather obsessively at my chest. But nobody ever seriously accuses such people of having a “breast fetish” or of being “breast chasers,” because breasts are seen as a perfectly normal and valid thing to be attracted to. Similarly, there are people out there who specifically date people because of their money or social status, but nobody ever accuses them of having a “fetish.” People only use the term “fetish” when they believe the person in question is inherently undesirable - and I refuse to buy into that mindset!

We are beautiful people who are legitimately desirable. We are not “fetish” objects! And people who find us attractive are not “chasers,” but rather they are simply people who see beauty in us. Because our culture deems us undesirable, our lovers and partners are often expected to explain why they choose to be with us. Others may start to question their sexuality, or they may be ostracized from their straight or gay or lesbian communities. In a sense, they share a bit of our stigma - a stigma that is based on the presumption that we are unlovable. And we shouldn’t stand for it!

So, let’s purge the phrases “tranny fetish” and “tranny chaser” from our vocabularies. Let’s celebrate our lovers, partners and spouses for seeing the beauty in us. And let’s give a big shout out to all of the significant others who are standing by our sides today supporting us. And importantly, let’s remember that we are beautiful and fabulous and desirable and deserving of love

[Willie Escalade]

Thank you...but the purging isn't happening anytime soon...

[danthepoetman]

Beautiful, eloquent and luminous, lady Tyler. You not only show once again how wonderfully bright and articulate you are, but you also manage to elegantly shed a positive light on an annoyingly recurring question in the different threads of this forum. If we can put in practice such good advices we could free ourselves of considerable debates that often creates quite a bit of sourness amongst members.
You are absolutely right: many men around here view t-women as women first, and the particularities by which they live their femininity as something secondary or at worst, as some lovely extras. Many men are here to exchange and learn, and also to express their admiration and their attraction, which they would all the same on any other site with women. For many of them, all shortcomings considered, the best and only way to express such feeling is by using expressions which, if they fail in subtlety, are not any less heartfelt. These men, in my humble opinion, deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt. You can easily sense behind many awkward comments genuine admiration and respect.
Of course, we don’t know the extent of the difficulties and problems t-ladies are going through on a daily basis, and it is impossible for us to be fair when it comes to some understandable temperamental outburst here and there. But if we were indeed to consider things in the way you present them, all of us members, men and women, we could be able to make out of this medium something more than just a porn playground, something that could inform and educate as well as entertain.

[Wendy Summers]

FTR I think Ms. Serano is correct. The concept needs to go away.

About a month ago I posted this on a trans-person only forum:

Because so many of us defined by our internal gender conflict, it becomes a prism though which all actions by external parties are viewed by us. Guys are guys. They group women (trans or cis) into 3 categories: Wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole; would fuck; would have a relationship with. More often than not most guys analyzing most women would lump the woman into the "would fuck" category. What's unique with the trans experience is our communal assumption is that our classification in the "WF" category is entirely due to our status as transpeople, when in the perspective of those actually classifying us it is due to our personalty and how we present ourselves to the person in question that's caused the classification.

As much as I'd like to see the "chaser" thing go away and the question be one of "nice guy" or "douche", until transwomen as a group learn to not use the "tranny-colored glasses" as a filter for every interaction, it just won't happen.

Fuck I used way too many air quotes in that LOL

[giovanni_hotel]

Sticky this thread.

[Wendy Summers]

Sticky this thread.

Maybe this will help you guys get this thread sticky .

[giovanni_hotel]

Maybe this will help you guys get this thread sticky .

LOL. Nice shot.

I literally have to make a conscious effort to keep my hands off my cock sometimes when I click on some of these threads. Weird.

[Wendy Summers]

LOL. Nice shot.

I literally have to make a conscious effort to keep my hands off my cock sometimes when I click on some of these threads. Weird.

We trained you to have a Pavlovian response.

[danthepoetman]

Maybe this will help you guys get this thread sticky .

The Ancient used stone to make sure no one could forget, with imperishable inscriptions. Wendy simply shows a lovely part of herself. No guy can forget anymore, that’s a given.

[amberskyi]

to pretend that their arent some men out there that see trans woman as something to only indulge in sexually is a bit naive.
you have guys like freedie who openly says yea he would have sex with a ts but would never date one.....