Is It Just Me Or Can People No Longer Debate?

[GroobyKrissy]

So, I joined this Fetlife thing a while ago, and I have to say, it is a lot of fun and I've gotten into some good discussions there. Today though, this person made a pretty illogical point about Transsexuals in porn (basically saying that it is TS porn that makes it impossible for other Transsexuals to be taken seriously). Anyway, long story short, I ended up being attacked by a bunch of other people who quite frankly had NO (and I mean NO) logic to their arguments. One ended up just blocking me, one went off on a long personal rant about me, and the other just plain doesn't make any sense at all (BTW girls... we should all feel responsible every time someone hurls a slur or murders a Transsexual... just an FYI).

Anyway, I've noticed this more and more that people just cannot calmly argue a point anymore. One person actually complained that I was taking what she said and 'picking it apart' to prove my point... Ummm... isn't that what a debate is?

There are lots of controversial posts on her every so often... anyone else feel frustrated that open, honest debate seems to be a completely lost art these days?

[danthepoetman]

I’ve seen that on many, many forums. I think one of the reasons is that we don’t usually express ourselves only with words, but with our whole body, our gestures and our facial expressions especially. One of the strange thing astronauts have long discovered in space, is that there were many strange misunderstanding amongst them because of the state of weightlessness: they can’t have facial expressions anymore because of the blood filling the vessels of the face, and this kind of dull expression is interpreted often as being somewhat hostile by others. Strange, no?
I think it might have something to do with what we see on so many forums. We have conversations but we don’t see each others. We tend to interpret everything as an attack and we act accordingly, even preventively… Traditional relation through word were made by letters, one at a time over long while. Now, we have immediate conversations without faces.
That’s just my hunch; I can’t think of people as becoming just more crazy or irritable… I think the problem lies in the format more than the people… Am I making any sense, Krissy?

[GroobyKrissy]

Yeah, makes sense about the format but still, I think you should be able to argue a point clearly and concisely... Even though the method has changed. I do agree that facial expressions can have a large impact on a conversation though.

[danthepoetman]

We construct an argument, we say a few things in which we somewhat disagree, for instance, even though we don’t disagree strongly, and the interlocutor feel it is an attack. And we suddenly find ourselves in a mess.

And you also have the fact that some people are not very… how should I say, not very refined or classy. In daily life, we see in their expression that they don’t mean to be hostile, but here, in a sentence or two, they seem terrible…

Yet, I see your point and you’re absolutely right. It’s seemingly almost impossible to have an argumentative conversation here; it always seems to turn somewhat ugly… And it’s the same thing on every forum! It takes a bit of the fun away, I find...

[StinkyPete1000]

Another problem is people often generalize and/or make a sweeping assumption based on one (or a few) examples/experiences.

For example, don't say "most" unless you know 51% of the group you're talking about. Also, don't make sweeping generalizations based on what happened to you (or a friend). Both of these flawed debate tactics are rampant on this forum. It's strange because this is supposed to be a place where people can be individuals (with a common interest of course), yet, time and time again I see people making baseless generalizations and talking about opinions as if they were fact. Debating is a lost art. Apparently, it requires too much attention.

[danthepoetman]

I agree. But I think that at times, we all make generalizations. Problems emerge when someone holds on to his/her example as if it was as well established as the laws of gravity… You’re right: it’s the lack of perspective and distance in appreciating one’s own experience as something absolutely common that often creates such situations.

[Erika1487]

So, I joined this Fetlife thing a while ago, and I have to say, it is a lot of fun and I've gotten into some good discussions there. Today though, this person made a pretty illogical point about Transsexuals in porn (basically saying that it is TS porn that makes it impossible for other Transsexuals to be taken seriously). Anyway, long story short, I ended up being attacked by a bunch of other people who quite frankly had NO (and I mean NO) logic to their arguments. One ended up just blocking me, one went off on a long personal rant about me, and the other just plain doesn't make any sense at all (BTW girls... we should all feel responsible every time someone hurls a slur or murders a Transsexual... just an FYI).

Anyway, I've noticed this more and more that people just cannot calmly argue a point anymore. One person actually complained that I was taking what she said and 'picking it apart' to prove my point... Ummm... isn't that what a debate is?

There are lots of controversial posts on her every so often... anyone else feel frustrated that open, honest debate seems to be a completely lost art these days?

My anger has VERY short fuse, and there are alot of button pushers on this fourm. For lack of a better word, that leave me on the cranky side of bitch. That being said I don't mind an honest disscussion, but more often than not most topics veer way off the path and turn into a tit for tat between a few posters.

[Sulka_bewitched_me]

Open honest debates, common sense, social etiquette, common courtesy. The list goes on..............unfortunately these are just a few things that are now DEAD!